Chapter 12 #2
It felt good to be away from Oceanside as well. He didn't think they'd been followed from Ocean Shores, so hopefully there were no photographers lingering in the shadows.
"I'm glad you liked your breakfast," she said. "I was craving one of these bowls all last night."
He was impressed by her enthusiasm, the spark of light in her gold-flecked brown eyes, and the sunny smile on her pretty face.
She had an energy to her that was not only attractive but contagious.
When he was with her, he couldn't stop himself from getting caught up in her excitement for whatever was happening, which was probably dangerous, considering how difficult it was to say no to her.
But he told himself this was just breakfast and a way to even the temperature between them after the chaos of the day before.
"Do you work at a firehouse?" he asked.
"No, I'm stationed in a separate facility nearby."
"And your shifts vary every day?"
"It depends. There are a lot of people out right now with school ending and summer starting, so I've had to be flexible. To be frank, I was thrilled to work the night shift because I got away from my temporary day partner, who is annoying as hell."
"How is he annoying? Or is it a she?"
"It's a man. His name is Eric, and he's an okay medic, but he spends a lot of time telling me how great he is, how much money he's making on the stock market, and how he and I should have drinks together. It's exhausting."
"He wants to date you?" He found that idea bothersome. Not that she couldn't date whoever she wanted. And how could he even think for a moment that she wouldn't be dating? She was gorgeous.
"Trust me, there is no chance of that happening," she said. "I cannot imagine spending time listening to him when I am not getting paid to be next to him."
"I would think you would enjoy a talker. You don't seem to like silence very much," he said pointedly.
She made a face at him. "I can handle silence. Secrets are a bit more concerning. But in general, I'm fine with conversation that isn't completely narcissistic. Thankfully, my partner, a woman, gets back from her honeymoon next week."
"Where did she go?"
"Hawaii. Love is definitely in the air all around me. I was in her wedding, and I'm going to be in Emmalyn's wedding, which is a little over a month away. When Lexie sets a date, I'm sure I'll need to buy yet another bridesmaid's dress. I have four already, and every time the bride says,
'Don't worry you'll be able to wear this again,' I just smile and say 'Great', because I know it's not true. These are not dresses I would ever wear again."
He smiled at her disgruntled expression. "Why don't you just say no?"
"To my friends? I couldn't do that. It's an honor to be asked. I just wish ugly dresses weren't a part of it."
"I'm sure you'll look good in whatever you wear."
She tilted her head, giving him a searching look. "Was that a compliment?"
"I don't think I'm telling you anything you don't already know."
"You're very good at evasive answers."
"Tell me more about the Ocean Shores women who are getting married," he said, changing the subject.
He was probably going to regret that question, because learning more about her friends, who were also his neighbors, felt like it would bring him closer into a circle he didn't want to join. But it was too late to take it back.
"Emmalyn is marrying Hunter Kane. They met at the building.
He lived in your apartment before you, and like you, he avoided our community for several months.
No one knew much about him, except that he was a Navy pilot who had been injured on duty, and he had lost a close friend in the same incident. "
"That's terrible."
"That's why we gave him his space. But then one day, a woman showed up, Bree.
You might have seen her around. She was the widow of his friend who had been killed, and she dropped off her six-year-old daughter, Olivia, with Hunter, saying she needed a break.
She didn't give him a chance to say no, and he was suddenly taking care of a little girl, and he had no idea what to do. "
"I can't even imagine."
"Enter Emmalyn, who is a kindergarten teacher, and one of the sweetest, kindest people you'll ever meet."
"She does give off that vibe," he agreed. "She's said hello to me a few times."
"Despite Hunter's not-so-charming nature at the time, she offered to help him, and he had no choice but to say yes.
They grew close as they got to know each other, and Hunter didn't just fall in love with her; he realized there were people here who wanted to be his friend and support him.
Eventually, Bree came back, and we all realized she needed some help, too.
Hunter got her an apartment in the building, and now they're part of the community.
It's been great for Olivia, who found a good friend in Henry and an extended family.
" She paused. "Josie likes to say that Ocean Shores has healing powers, and it's hard to say she's wrong. "
"She mentioned that to me, too. But Hunter's story isn't mine. In fact, his is far more tragic and very sad. I'm happy he found his way out of that darkness."
"My real point is that our community is very supportive and also just really fun."
"Well, you all do like to laugh and talk a lot. I can't help hearing that when I've had to open my windows every night."
"Next time, don't just listen; come join us. In fact, I just got a text from Ava that we're having a going-away barbecue for Brad and her sister Serena on Friday. They found a house to rent, so they're moving out this weekend.”
"I'm sure they just want their friends there."
"They want to celebrate with everyone in the building, and that includes you. Just come for a few minutes. You can leave whenever you want."
"I'm not sure I'll still be here on Friday."
She frowned at his words. "Well, I hope you are and that you'll consider it.
Madison and Gabe are providing the food.
They are both chefs and own a local restaurant, so the grill will be sizzling with better-than-average meat and fish.
And you told me you have absolute confidence in my ability to recommend food, so… "
"I'm going to regret saying that, aren't I?"
"You're going to regret not getting to know the people at Ocean Shores, no matter how long you stay."
He stared back at her, a question churning inside him that he probably shouldn't ask, but he couldn't seem to help himself. "The people, or you?"
Her gaze darkened, turning serious. "Both.
This might be a moment where I'm once again being brave instead of smart, but here goes…
I feel like there's something between us, and I rarely feel that, and I never say it.
But I feel like I need to say it now, because if I wait, you might be gone.
" She blew out a breath. "Okay, your turn. "
Her words had been shockingly honest, and she'd made herself vulnerable, which he admired even more. Maybe it was time for him to be honest, too.
"I feel like there is something between us," he said carefully. "But—"
"I really hate when there's a but," she said with a groan.
"My life is messy and complicated, Kaia. You do not want to be a part of that."
"I already am a part of it. I haven't looked online, but you said those photos probably went up within an hour of him taking them. Did you see them?"
"I haven't looked."
"Why not?"
"Because it just makes everything messier."
"Because of Wren?" she ventured.
"So many things. You should run away from me, Kaia.
You should tell me to stay the hell away from you and your friends.
You should not want me to stay; you should want me to go as soon as possible.
According to the press, I'm a liar, a thief, a fraud, and that's just the start of every story.
I am definitely not someone you want to spend time with.
Anyone standing next to me will get swept up in a world of cruel gossip and public scrutiny.
That's the last thing I want to do to you. "
She sat back, startled by his blunt words.
Folding her arms across her chest, she didn't say anything for a long moment, then said, "That's according to the press.
I don't care what they say, I want to know what you say.
Are you a liar, a thief, a fraud? Are you dangerous to me? Are you going to hurt me?"
"If you have to ask those questions, then you already know the answers."
Anger flashed in her eyes now. "I don't know the answers, because you don't want to tell me exactly what happened.
Complicated implies there is more to your story than the public knows.
I think you're protecting someone. Maybe it's Wren.
Maybe it's someone else." She took a moment to gather her thoughts, then continued.
"I'm good at reading people. It's a necessary skill for my job.
I have to know when they're lying or telling me the truth because it could mean life or death.
This isn't that. At least, I hope it's not.
But the adjectives the press is using to describe you don't fit the man I see in front of me. "
He couldn't believe that the unconditional faith and trust he'd been seeking most of his life was coming from a stunning redhead he'd only started talking to a few days earlier.
She wasn't completely right, but she also wasn't completely wrong.
"If someone tells you who they are, you should believe them," he said.
"You didn't tell me. You just repeated what the press is saying about you.
Because you still don't want to tell me the complete story.
But even without words, I've seen your actions, the way you took time to help an old man, the reverence you showed to a dusty piano, the energy you put into helping me get Walter into that dressing room, and the way you played your guitar the other night was soulful, and honest. Your music really got to me.
You're a talented musician, and I don't believe you just stole a song and got a lot of people into trouble. That doesn't add up."
He shook his head, both touched and exasperated by her refusal to back down. "Do you always argue this much?"
"Only when I think I'm right."
"Do you ever think you're wrong?" he challenged.
"According to my brothers, rarely. But you can find out for yourself. Look, Jax, I'm not talking about any real commitment here. I just want to spend time with you, hang out, have a few drinks, whatever…"
It was the thought of whatever that made his body tighten because God help him; he liked her smart mouth, her passionate fire, and her oh-so-tempting body.
He didn't want to bring her into his messy life, but trying to keep her out of it wasn't working either.
Maybe he was making too big a deal out of it.
Like she said, there was no commitment. He could leave at any time.
And in a world where all his other decisions seemed far more serious and overwhelming, he decided this was one he could make.
"Okay," he said. "I'll check out the barbecue on Friday night."
She laughed. "I almost forgot this was about the barbecue."
He grinned back at her. "You got a little carried away."
"I tend to do that when something or someone matters to me."
"I don't want you to get hurt, Kaia. You put yourself out there, and that's incredible, because most people aren't willing to do that."
"Yourself included."
He tipped his head. "Yes. I'm at the top of that list. But bravery can make you vulnerable."
"Of course it can. But without it, can you ever really get what you want?"
It was a question he wasn't going to stop thinking about. As she let out a breath that turned into a yawn, he said, "I think it's time for you to go to bed."
"I think so, too. Arguing with you is tiring."
"Then maybe you should stop."
"I would…if I didn't care."
"I wish you didn't care, because like I said before, I don't want to hurt you."
"Then don't."
"It's not that simple."
"Yes, it is. Hurting someone is always a choice. Rarely does anything just happen, Jax. People make decisions, or they don't make decisions, and that's a choice."
"Life isn't that black and white."
She tipped her head. "You might be right.
I do tend to see things that way, but I also don't think life is as cloudy as you think it is.
The clouds come from uncertainty, from wavering, from overlooking the simple answer because it isn't what you want it to be.
" She paused. "I've been in that place, too, which is why I try not to linger there.
It's not good for me. And it's probably not good for you, but only you can decide when to get out. "
Her words hit him hard, and he was still thinking about everything she said as they left the restaurant and headed home. Unfortunately, his clouds were still swirling when they got back to Ocean Shores. Maybe that's because the answer wasn't what he wanted it to be.