Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
"You shouldn't have come here, Wren."
"You didn't give me any other choice, Jason."
The sound of his name on her lips took him back in time and also felt strangely wrong. He'd gotten used to being Jax the last few months. And now Wren wanted him to be that other guy, the one she could twist around her finger whenever she wanted.
"I'm sorry," she said, her sky-blue eyes filling with moisture that might have been real or practiced; he wasn't entirely sure.
"For what, exactly?"
"For everything."
He shook his head as he dug his hands into his pockets. "That's not good enough."
"Being sorry for everything isn't good enough?"
"No. Because you want to wrap everything up and throw it away, pretend it never happened."
"Oh, I know it happened. I spent two months in rehab," she said sharply.
"It wasn't the first time you went to rehab. And it's not the first time you've said you're sorry."
"I've changed. I'm different now."
"I've heard that before, too, Wren."
"My God! You're being so cold, so rigid—" She stopped abruptly, taking a breath, trying to rein in her anger, because, clearly, she knew that wouldn't get her anywhere.
"Okay, you're right. I've made bad choices a habit, and I need to own that.
You need actions, not just words, to believe that things can change. "
"I don't need anything. I'm done."
"You can't mean that," she pleaded. "We've been friends for too long. We've been each other's family. I don't just want you back in my life; I need you back. You were…you are…the best person I've ever known. And I am very aware of how much I have hurt you."
"I don't think you are," he said harshly, not wanting to be moved by her apologies because he knew where that would take him.
"I am. And I'm ready to take the responsibility I should have taken months ago. I'm going to own up to everything. I'm going to throw myself at the mercy of our industry, our fans, and all the people who will trash me online. I understand we can't move forward until I do that, so I will do it."
"If you wanted to do it, you could have already done it. You don't need my approval to take ownership."
"I wanted to talk to you first because of what you did for me. There will be a lot of questions, and I didn't want you to be blindsided."
"Again."
"Again," she echoed. "I was in a bad place after Joel. I wasn't thinking straight. You know the PTSD I deal with, the anxiety, the insecurity."
He did know, which had always made it difficult for him to turn his back on her. "You've been using your past as an excuse for everything for too long."
"That's what my therapist told me."
"I don't think that's the first time you've heard that comment."
"No. But it's the first time I listened."
"What made you listen now?" he challenged.
"You. Your absence. You never walked away before.
You never disappeared. I always thought you'd be there for me, but I finally realized that I'd gone so far that I'd lost the one person who'd been in my corner, the one person I could count on.
" She paused, drawing in a shaky breath. "Did you read my song?"
"Yes. It's good."
"It needs you to finish it."
"You're the one who has to write the ending."
"I don't want to do it without you."
"You're going to have to."
"Please, Jason, just listen. It will be different going forward; I promise. And you won't be in the background anymore. I want us to be front and center together."
"This has never been about me being in the background."
"Are you sure? Because I think it bothered you in the past."
"It wasn't about the spotlight; it was about control. I haven't liked the direction we've been going in for a long time, but you didn't want to listen because you didn't feel the same way."
"I'll listen now."
"It's too late."
"That woman who was here… Is she the reason you don't want to come back?"
"This isn't about her. It's about us."
"I want there to still be an us," she said. "I don’t deserve the second chance, but I really want it. And even if you don't believe my promises, I'm still going to keep them. I'll show you I've changed. I swear I will."
As he gazed into her pleading blue eyes, he was swamped with emotion, seeing in front of him the scared young girl with the tragic past and not the superstar singer who'd been on the cover of every magazine.
There were many layers to Wren, and not all of them were bad, but he'd been living in her chaotic drama for too long, and he didn't think his choices or actions had ever really made anything better.
But it was difficult to turn away from someone who had also seen him in his darkest moments.
"Will you give me another chance?" she begged. "Will you make music with me again?"
His stomach twisted into a hard knot because whatever decision he made was going to hurt.
Kaia was going crazy with uncertainty. Three hours had passed since she'd left Jax's apartment, and she desperately wanted to know what was going on.
Clearly, Wren wanted him to come back, wanted to make up for whatever had happened, which she knew in her heart was about more than stealing a song.
Even more clearly, Jax was torn between his past and his future.
She didn't really care what he did with his career, but if his decision meant he was leaving here, that was another thing entirely.
She felt like they were just getting started, but maybe she'd been living in a fantasy, ignoring all the red flags, all the secrets of his past that he had never really shared with her.
He'd told her some things, but not everything.
And that gap in knowledge made her wonder what he'd chosen to leave out and why.
She cleaned her apartment to make the time go by, and by two, it was spotless, but there was still no sign of Jax.
She needed to pick up Walter, and she might as well get out of the apartment, because staying here was just making her head spin and her heart hurt.
Grabbing her bag and keys, she headed out to the parking lot, deliberately not looking toward Jax's apartment.
She got into her car, started the engine, and was halfway out of her spot when Jax came running out to the lot, motioning for her to wait. Rolling down her window, she said, "What?"
"I'm coming with you."
"I don't think so." She was still annoyed after the past four hours of silence.
"Kaia, please. I need to talk to you. I promise to tell you everything."
She debated for a moment, seeing what appeared to be sincerity in his eyes, then said, "Get in."
He went around to the passenger side and got into his seat. "I'm sorry that I didn't call you. I didn't realize what time it was."
"Well, I'm sure Wren was distracting," she said coldly, because that was the only way she was holding it together.
"Wren left shortly after you did."
She was surprised to hear that, but the news didn't make her feel better because he could have talked to her hours ago. With her emotions swirling around in complete and utter turmoil, she knew only one thing for sure.
"I can't do this right now," she said. "We need to pick up Walter in the next ten minutes, and this trip is about him and Reina. It's not about us, and I don't want their reunion tarnished." She stopped at the first light. "Maybe you should get out here and go home. We can talk later."
"No. I'm going with you. I'm in this. I want to see what happens," he said firmly.
"You weren't even sure this should happen."
"I've changed my mind. And after hearing Reina sing about love and possibilities, I feel like their love story needs to be resolved. So for now, we'll focus on that."
She shot him a quick look, not wanting to agree with him because she was still upset that he'd left her hanging with no explanation of what was going on. But she'd already said she didn't want to start that conversation, so she just looked at the road in front of her and drove.
When they arrived at Walter's apartment, he looked as good as she'd ever seen him. There was a sparkle in his eyes and an energy to his movements that had been lacking before they'd found the red door, the love song, and now Reina. He wore slacks and a button-down shirt, his hair neatly combed.
"I'm ready. I just need to get my hat and use the bathroom," he said as he moved down the hall to his bedroom.
"He's excited," Jax commented.
"I hope this is going to turn out good. The last thing I want to do is crush him."
"Whatever happens isn't on you."
Before she could tell him she would feel responsible no matter what, the door opened, and Catherine walked in.
"Hello," Kaia said tentatively.
Catherine gave her a concerned look, but she didn't appear to be angry or ready to fight about what was happening. "I understand you're taking my grandfather to meet the woman he used to know."
"Yes," she said. "We found Reina's niece, who helped set up the meeting. It's in the old Coronado Hotel on the island."
"I haven't seen him this happy since he got here, and to be honest, even years before.
It's like he's a new person, the man he used to be.
He's been taking his medication, checking his blood sugar all the time, telling me he needs to stay in shape so nothing can stop him from seeing her again.
" Catherine gave her an apologetic look.
"I was wrong to tell you to butt out. Clearly, you've made a huge difference.
I'm just worried about what happens next. "
"Me, too."
"None of you has to worry," Walter said, interrupting their conversation.
His sharper-than-usual gaze swept across the three of them.
"I appreciate you all for setting this up, and I'm thankful to you, Catherine, for caring enough to take me in.
Whatever happens is between me and Reina.
If all she wants is a conversation, I'm good with that.
I just want to see her again. Just one more time. "