Chapter 6 #2
I was afraid of getting lost and not finding him again. It was way too hot. Why couldn’t I go into the bathroom with him?
“Will, are you leaving me alone?” I asked, bringing an arm to my chest to cover myself.
“No, you’re right,” he said, apologetically. “James! Come here for a bit.”
Slowly, what was going on came into focus, and I saw James grinding on a girl while she made out with Marvin.
Great, that guy was never inappropriate. But how dare you think something like that. You, June White, who just did unspeakable things with Will? There was my mom’s voice echoing even in my drunk mind.
“I’ll be right back, stay with her for two seconds.
” Will grabbed his friend’s arm. Maybe there was too much alcohol in my system to say it for sure, but I was almost positive that James’s attention lingered first on Will’s neck, then his chest marked with kiss marks, and then the neckline of my bikini. I trembled.
“Will, give me back the tank top.” I held my arm out impatiently.
But Will shook his head.
“No, look—”
Seeing my discomfort, James commanded him, “Will, give her back the fucking tank top now. Thank you.”
William grumbled, threw me the shirt, and turned around.
“Where the fuck are you going, Will? Can’t you see that I’m completely—” James called to his friend who was now looking for the bathroom “—occupied.”
James’s deep cobalt eyes bored into mine. I couldn’t see myself in the mirror, but I had the sense that I looked extremely disheveled and embarrassed. I’d had way too much alcohol; that was something else I had to write in my notes. Never drink like this again.
“What happened?” James mumbled, looking me up and down.
My eyes slithered down his broad chest to his board shorts, then I glanced lightning fast between his legs before returning to his face.
James glanced down to where I’d just looked.
“Looks like we’ve both been busy.” He looked up and licked his lips.
“No, I just—”
He took a step toward me, and I couldn’t say another word because I noticed there was still blue paint on his lips.
“Don’t pretend. I saw you with Will first,” he whispered in my ear.
I looked the other way to avoid his penetrating gaze. I didn’t want to look him in the eye. It was too hot in here.
“You managed to finish that quickly?” No way, he wasn’t actually saying that. “You beat me. You just looked at my—”
“What? There’s absolutely nothing to look at,” I insisted, but instead of this making him mad, he smiled mischievously.
My eyes burned, sweeping across the perfect curve of his full mouth, and I felt like I was running out of oxygen.
“So you didn’t finish.”
I lowered my head. I couldn’t be around him anymore. I was catching fire.
“You didn’t, did you?”
I involuntarily shook my head slightly.
James slithered behind me like a predator on the verge of catching its prey.
I felt my skin burn when his warm chest reached my back without even grazing against it, setting off a trickling sensation in my stomach.
The sensation amplified when his ring-clad fingers spread around the edge of my shorts, tickling me.
He slid his hand lower, slowly, and brazenly surveyed the strip of skin softening a little under my navel.
Why wasn’t I stopping him? Why did it feel so good?
James whispered in my ear warmly and languidly. “Maybe you’ll manage it later.”
Was he still talking about that?
I gulped loudly, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. “To do what?”
“To not think of me.”
My lips still burned from kissing Will, my throat burned from the alcohol I’d drunk, and now my skin seemed like it was going to go up in flames too. At the exact place where James grazed against me. I felt my legs fold, literally. I stumbled, and James grabbed me quickly.
“I need some air,” I whispered faintly.
James glanced quickly at the girl he’d been grinding on up until five minutes ago. She beckoned him back.
“Damn it, White.”
At first he cursed, irritated, then he held on to my shoulders and shoved us through until we left the place and the cold air woke me up like a shower.
“Are you better now?” he asked worriedly.
He leaned on a colorful wall, and I concentrated on his hands, which swiftly looked for a vape pen cartridge that was full.
“Tell me if I have to fucking babysit you instead of pounding a girl who’s dying to give it to me.”
“You know I don’t care,” I grumbled, squeezing my chest with my arms.
“You should. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your innocent face.”
James lifted his jacket collar. I saw him barely shiver when the night air blew around us. What if Amelia was right? What if I was blinded by an idea of him that didn’t exist? Or blinded by his perfect physique?
Maybe his past could’ve been terrible, but what if it was that past itself that led him to be a terrible person?
“Come on, let’s hear it.” He blew smoke out.
“What do you want, Hunter?”
“I want to hear what you have to say. It’s written all over your face that you’re curious.”
I started rubbing my forehead.
“Nothing. Amelia says stuff about you—”
“And you believe her, don’t you?”
“I don’t get why she’d lie. Why do she and Brian hate you so much?” I was stunned at how coherently my thoughts came out despite everything I’d had to drink.
“Because they have their own view of things. They should be thanking me, not hating me.”
Maybe it would’ve been better to stay inside that big noisy box full of illuminated bodies.
All of a sudden I saw a familiar face. It was Blaze, who was rushing out of the place.
“Blaze!” I yelled.
“Hey, June. I’m going home. It’s getting a little too suffocating here for someone like me.”
“Did your mom come to pick you up?” James asked the question abruptly, but I didn’t pay any attention.
“Yeah.”
“Take her home.”
Blaze nodded, while I gave a distressed look toward the entrance.
“But Will—”
“Screw Will. You’re drunk, and you need to take a shower. Go home,” spat James before going back inside.
>> <<
It was almost three thirty in the morning, and even though I was dead tired and extremely trashed, I forced myself to take a shower to get rid of all the colors on my body.
I was full of thoughts. They straddled, bit, and incited feelings of guilt. But there wasn’t space for all that now. There wasn’t any way to shed light on it.
The alcohol was clouding my judgment. One memory shone brighter than all the others. The words James had whispered to me were etched into my memory more than the others.
Maybe later you’ll manage not to think of me. How dare he say something like that? He’d done that on purpose. That was why I was now here thinking about him as the shower jet massaged my skin. After drying off and putting my hair in a bun, I put on my pajamas and flopped onto the bed.
I didn’t regret drinking. I was fine with Will. But my memories were a little too confusing, a sign that I’d definitely overdone it. If I’d stopped after only a couple of drinks, maybe I wouldn’t have let James brush against my stomach like that.
The thought burned my cheeks and made my stomach squeeze. I touched my face to the pillow to stifle a groan. Suddenly I saw a notification. Are you home?
It wasn’t from Will.
June: Yeah, you?
I’d just answered the question with another question. Great.
I put my phone under my pillow, but it vibrated again.
Hunter: Yeah. Are you sure you’re okay?
Why did my mind have to play such awful tricks on me? Why’d it have to get my hopes up that he cared about me?
His lips had still had some blue on them. Maybe he didn’t make out with anyone else that whole night? Was it this game? Was I the one who’d kissed Will? Did I lose? No. James would have never stooped that low with me.
June: I’m fine, what do you want, James? Still nothing?
I turned off the light, threw my phone on the mattress, and covered my face with my hands. Unfortunately I knew what he was talking about.
Don’t answer him, don’t answer him, don’t— I reached for my phone.
I wrote it and sent it so fast that I didn’t give it any thought. Nothing.
I was expecting his usual jab or teasing, but the notification startled me.
A photo.
It was almost four in the morning. I shouldn’t’ve opened it. Breathe, June. You can do it. You can overcome this curiosity.
I stared at the ceiling, not just because I’d gotten a second wind but also because the hellish heat was back. Who was I kidding?
I clicked the notification, afraid of what would appear in front of me.
A languid sigh escaped my lips as my hungry eyes met James’s, which were so blue that they could be put in a showcase.
He was shirtless, with his head on a pillow, a chain that glided on his smooth skin, and his tongue goofily sticking out.
My gaze sculped the deep grooves highlighting his cheeks.
I smiled. I caressed his dimples with my thumb, but the smile vanished when I felt a hot tingling rush down my legs.
Hunter: What’s the deal with your hair?
June: What the fuck do you want? I just took a shower
I can’t look . . . forget it.
No, I would’ve never sent him a photo of me. Absolutely not.
I scrolled up again. The more I looked at his face, the weirder I felt.
I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I tried taking deep breaths to relax, but it didn’t work.
I was too tense. Gingerly, I stretched my legs out.
My limbs seemed sluggish, numb from the alcohol, but one part of me was fully alive and full of tension.
No. I can’t do it, especially not looking at a picture of him. That was what guys did, not me.
I shifted positions and huffed for the umpteenth time. But the frustration didn’t pass. Instead it was growing so much that I squeezed my thighs. I tried to alleviate the sensation by rubbing my fingers on the edge of my underwear, but it only got worse. I felt like I was burning up.
Another notification startled me. This time I clicked it lightning quick.
Hunter: I’d like to propose something
Adrenaline coursed through my veins.
June: I’m listening, James