Chapter 20
June
“Austin!” I exclaimed, frightened.
I looked around, but I couldn’t see much because of the stupid teddy bear.
“You and I got off on the wrong foot. Didn’t we?”
I wanted James to see me so badly right then, but after shooting me a look, he’d gone back to talking with his group.
“We didn’t get off on anything,” I said, trying to make my way through the crowd.
Austin sneered, then wrapped his arm around my waist from behind. I almost screamed.
“It’s full of people here, what the hell do you want from me?”
Even though the better question would’ve been James has plenty of girls around him, why do you always have to go after me?
“It’s a rule of war,” he said solemnly, stroking his chin. “Know your enemy’s weaknesses, and you’ll beat them.”
“You already said that. Change dealers,” I retorted, annoyed. But Ethan didn’t seem to want to let it go.
“I never saw little James react that way in front of a girl, so—”
“Give it back, White!”
I heard the person in question’s familiar voice as he made his way through the crowd to reach his hands toward me. After taking the teddy bear back, he turned to Austin.
“Fuck, you can’t do it, can you? I don’t wanna see you anywhere near her.” The indigo of his irises had almost turned black.
“I like her,” grumbled Austin, almost amused.
“You don’t fucking like shit,” James snarled back.
“But I like her innocent face. She’s different from the ones you usually sleep with, little bro.”
“Get outta my sight,” hissed James. Then he put his hand in his pocket.
The teddy bear blocked my view. I couldn’t see what he was holding, but the tension shot up dangerously.
“You’re a kid. Do you think you can scare me?” Austin provoked James with a malicious sneer.
James didn’t speak, but I saw him move his arm. At that point, Austin looked down. He was staring at something.
“What the fuck do you want to do to me? Are you going crazy like the other one?” he asked.
“I’m doing what I have to do. You have no reason to talk to her. Get lost.”
“You provoke me so much because you know I can’t do anything to you, right, Jamie?”
“Tell your dad I have to see him.”
James’s words didn’t seem to get a reaction out of Austin.
“You’ve made one mess after another. My dad doesn’t wanna see you.”
James clenched his jaw, and Austin figured it was the right time to back off.
I let out a sigh of relief.
“You know it, too, James. If Mom had aborted you, we’d all be better off,” Austin finished, before leaving.
A chill swept over me, leaving me out of breath.
I looked at James, who didn’t seem to bat an eye, and only after did I realize that the teddy bear was hiding a shiny knife. The knife was small but really sharp.
“James.”
I tried to call his name, but he started walking with long strides toward the back of the building.
“Where are you going?” I shouted.
“Leave me alone!”
I saw him get rid of the stuffed animal and throw it on the ground. Then he threw a punch at the public bathroom door.
James’s hand, still the same, filled with blood when his wound reopened.
“Calm down, please,” I whispered, coming up behind him without touching him. I immediately picked the teddy bear up.
But James turned to me with pain on his face and rage etched into his eyes.
“Why are you pretending?”
“What?”
For a split second, I saw his gaze drift to my lips.
“Why do you pretend you care about me?”
The warmth from his voice made my skin shiver.
“I’m not pretending, James.”
Without saying anything else, I put the teddy bear under my arm and grabbed his bloody hand. I don’t know what got into me. I brought it up to my cheek. I shivered with pleasure. His cold thumb caressed my lower lip tenderly.
“What happened?”
We heard Jackson’s voice followed by Marvin’s.
“Oh, fuck, go get the alcohol wipes that I have in my car,” Jackson ordered Marvin as soon as he realized the circumstances.
“This sucks. Do I have to go all the way back to the parking lot?” he griped.
“Move!” demanded Jackson, gazing at James’s hand, covered in blood.
“What are you doing?”
William’s voice thundered and vacillated more than usual. Even though we were already distanced from each other, James and I moved even farther away.
“Nothing.”
But William’s eyes darted quickly between his friend’s hand and my blood-spattered one.
“June and James,” Will said, then began to laugh mirthlessly. Clearly, he was drunk. Right then a bitter cold washed over me, making me shiver.
“Will, what the fuck, have you been drinking?”
James surveyed William’s expression, and I couldn’t understand if he was angry, having fun, or just sad because he kept laughing, but the mask of fake amusement soon turned into a look of hate.
“I knew I couldn’t trust you, James.”
“Calm down,” whispered Jackson, grabbing his shoulder. I shrank behind the stuffed animal.
“You say one thing but your eyes say something completely different,” slurred William, throwing a beer bottle on the ground.
The glass shattered on the asphalt.
I instinctively hid behind Jackson’s muscular back. James didn’t answer, but he started smoking and staring into space.
“Will, why don’t we go calm down? Let’s go for a walk, get some air . . .”
Jackson was trying to defuse the situation but Will wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t even seem like himself right then.
“What should I do? Pretend I don’t see how he looks at her?” William pointed at me then at James.
I gulped. He looked like he was outraged, and I didn’t like where this was going.
Jackson tried to hold him back again, but it was no use. Will approached his target.
“You, James, you always want what you can’t have.”
William’s barely slurred words hit like lethal gunshots.
“It’s human nature, isn’t it?” He provoked James.
“This is human nature,” answered Will with glassy eyes, before punching him in the cheekbone.
James stumbled.
“Fuck, how much did you have to drink? All of this over a girl? Really?” yelled Jackson, separating them.
He was really only pulling William back because James held his cheekbone in his hand and gazed at Will.
“What did you do?” asked Jackson, trying to understand. James didn’t answer.
“He slept with her at my house,” said William.
“I didn’t do shit to you.”
“Just because she’d never sleep with anyone like you.”
James’s pride was wounded again, but now he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Oh yeah? Are you sure about that?”
And then, in a split second the teddy bear wasn’t big enough to hide me from their sharp gazes anymore. They turned around. All three of them were staring at me. What should I have said? My indecisiveness didn’t last long because James put the vape pen in his pocket.
“You’re right, Will. But now it’s better if Jackson takes you home,” he spat.
“No.”
“She’s just a girl, Will, what the fuck do you care if I bang her or if Jackson does?” James exploded furiously.
A sharp pain went through my chest like a knife.
“Did you have to sleep with her at my house, like that time when Austin followed her home, and you couldn’t have called me? Did you have to stay there?”
“But she—” James started talking, then stopped before he could tell Will that I was the one who’d asked him.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Why wasn’t James telling the truth? Wasn’t I the one who’d asked him to stay?
“It was me, Will,” I said.
Jackson was the first to turn around. His eyes widened as if to tell me We all knew it, but you could’ve fucking kept it to yourself!
“I told you, I called him. And I was the one who asked him to stay.” Jackson’s glare worsened.
“You called him and not me.”
“But I already told you, Will,” I continued, sounding slightly irritated. We’d talked about it already, so why was he acting this way now?
Jackson shook his head. I moved closer to William, who seemed skeptical, examining the teddy bear.
“Because even though you’re with me, you wanna bang him. Right, June?”
“What? No, how could you think something like that?” I went on the offensive.
“Will, come on, leave her alone. You’re drunk. We’ll deal with it tomorrow.” Jackson put his arm around Will’s shoulders, but Will pulled back.
Will wasn’t just drunk; he was hurt. And that puzzled me.
It couldn’t be because of me. He’d only known me for a month. As much as we liked each other, his reaction was excessive.
“It seems like I was wrong. You really are like all the other girls,” he yelled, finally walking back into the place, enraged.
Who did he mean by all the others? Why did it seem like this had already happened?
“What did you tell him to piss him off that much, James?” Jackson argued when Marvin came back with the wipes.
“Nothing.” He grumbled, blowing the smoke out of his lips.
I looked at James, then pointed at the direction that William went in.
“Can you go get him? Can you talk to him and take him home?” James ignored me so I looked at Jackson.
“Guys, please. I don’t want him to be like this because of me.”
“Try not to feel guilty, White, Will isn’t like this because of you,” Jackson said. I was shocked. I finished cleaning my hand and gave him the teddy bear that was now just an obstacle. Then I moved closer to James.
“I’m just asking you one favor. You can’t leave him here.”
He rolled his dark eyes.
“Did you not just see me take a hit? I have other things to worry about that are much more important than your fucking song and dance.”
“I’m thinking about the important things I’ll have to do!” I retorted, imitating his rough voice.
“You’re so childish, White. I have a fucking ritual to follow since it’s your fault that I haven’t done it for a few nights.”
“Meaning?”
“It doesn’t include talking with you. That’s all you have to know,” he spat.
“Don’t leave him here,” I reiterated insistently.
He looked at me with his eyes watering from smoke and alcohol.
“I’m not leaving him here, princess. Of course I’m gonna go get him and try to calm him down.”
He motioned for Jackson to follow him.
“Thank you,” I whispered into the void when I saw them turn away. My phone vibrated.
Blaze, finally.