Chapter 21
June
I didn’t see that right. My eyes must’ve been playing tricks on me.
The lump in my throat continued to get bigger until I felt like I was suffocating.
I want to go home. Now.
“June, are you sure you’re okay?”
The warmth of Blaze’s voice brought me back to reality. I felt as cold as a corpse. I felt my sweaty cheeks. My head was spinning.
“No. I mean, yeah. I’m fine.”
I opened my mouth to take the deepest breath possible. The place had suddenly become more suffocating than usual.
“What did you see?” he asked laughing, while I was attacked by cold sweats.
“Nothing. What are you two doing?”
Blaze and Jackson exchanged a quick glance.
“Nothing.”
“We gotta take Will home,” announced Jackson, pointing at his friend, who was still talking to Marvin. “Now, I’d also like to know where James ended up.”
Yeah, I would, too, literally. Under or on top? It wasn’t the time for sarcasm, but I couldn’t help it.
I jumped when I found myself unexpectedly in front of him.
I felt my cheeks burn with scorching intensity.
And the fire seemed to burst in my chest when I looked at his redder- and fuller-than-usual lips.
I shouldn’t have looked; I had definitely jumped to the wrong conclusions.
James closed the curtain behind his powerful shoulders.
“Let’s get out of here,” he ordered his friends, completely ignoring me.
“Where . . . ?” I stuttered.
He burned me with a fierce glare.
“Where the fuck do you think I’m going? I’m taking Will home because he can’t stand up straight. Let’s go, Jax.”
Blaze shrugged it off. “Come on, June, I’ll take you home.”
Blaze’s mom had come to pick him up, but I was so deep in thought that I didn’t say a word for the whole ride.
When they finally dropped me off, I got a call from William. I double locked the door and answered the phone, at the mercy of my curiosity.
“June?”
“Are you feeling better, Will?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
I couldn’t understand anything he said—he slurred something but he was too drunk to understand.
“Did I tell you things I didn’t mean?”
“You’re asking me? Forget it, Will, focus on getting better.”
“Will you come to my place?”
“What? Now?” My high voice sounded incredulous.
“Will you come to my place, June?”
Don’t even think about it this time. It was a hard no. He was becoming too toxic. This wasn’t what I’d imagined my relationship with Will would be like. Maybe even he wasn’t what I’d imagined he’d be.
“No. My mom’s back. Don’t worry.”
That wasn’t true. I’d just lied to him, but right then it felt like the right thing to do.
I needed to be alone and digest everything that had just happened this evening.
Taylor’s and Tiffany’s words, the encounter with Austin, and Will’s outburst. What Blaze had told me, and finally .
. . James. Maybe they’d decided to live that way, getting into a sports car to drive without brakes, maybe even blindfolded.
But I had to get out of this crazy race.
“You’re a little liar, White.” James’s voice intervened on the other end of the line.
“Gimme back my phone,” whined Will.
“Will you let me know when you’re home safe?” I asked.
“No.”
“Asshole.”
Then a thought crossed my mind.
What if James was looking at Will and not me every time I caught him staring at us when Will and I kissed?
Only my mom could’ve created such a reactionary way of thinking.
They were friends and that was it, regardless.
And my gut confirmed it. But I would’ve wanted to have the same certainty about Jackson.
So I hung up and went to the bathroom to get washed up and changed. I was confused, irritated. It didn’t bother me that James had made out with a guy, but I didn’t love unforeseen events. I didn’t know what to think.
First Will with his unpredictable behavior. Then James.
I put on my pajama shorts, but when I opened the bathroom cabinet, my eyes fell on the curling iron.
Then a vibration caught me off guard, making me spring toward the bed.
Hunter: Coherence is overrated
I blinked repeatedly like it would help me understand James’s sentence better.
June: Wow, that’s deep
Hunter: We’re home safe and sound. Happy?
June: Thank you
I found myself smiling.
Hunter: You’re already thinking me? It’s not yours. You have to give it back to me
What was he talking about?
June: I’m thanking you because you always take care of Will, despite everything
Hunter: You can sleep there with it for tonight
Oh, he was talking about the stuffed animal.
June: How kind, James, but maybe you’re forgetting that I gave it back to Jackson
Hunter: Are you sure?
I stared at the screen, then went downstairs and opened the front door. The teddy bear—with its gentle, dopey expression—was sitting on the porch swing on the landing.
June: You’re such an idiot. Thank you
I wrote it without being able to wipe the smirk off my lips.
Hunter: Just because of this?
June: Did you do anything else that you want to be thanked for?
Hunter: Maybe not yet
Hunter: Why’d I always have to think badly?
June: What do you mean?
Hunter: Do you wanna do it again?
I tensed up right away.
June: What kind of game is this, James?
Hunter: You know what kind of game it is
Who’d he think he was talking to? Did he think he could screw with me whenever he wanted?
I went back in my room and got under the covers.
The teddy bear was so big that I had to put it at the back of the end otherwise it would take up too much space.
I curled up in a corner to not kick it down, then looked out the window.
Maybe it was better to close the shutters.
Ever since the Austins had showed up at my house, I didn’t feel safe anymore.
Hunter: I went by your house before going home. Then I asked around. Those two assholes are at the club. You shouldn’t be scared
I held back another smile under the sheet.
I liked when he said that; I couldn’t deny that.
June: So you’re saying I don’t have to worry?
Hunter: No, otherwise I would’ve stayed there with you
I was hypnotized looking at his message.
Now, he wasn’t drunk. What excuse did he have to behave so thoughtfully toward me?
June: I wouldn’t’ve let you in, Hunter
Hunter: The stairs outside aren’t that uncomfortable, White
I smiled again, but then I got worked up right away. Don’t fall into the trap.
He acted really protective, but he only did that when we were alone. Tomorrow he’d be his usual asshole self again.
June: Is Will better?
Hunter: Yes, now go to bed
Will shouldn’t’ve drunk. I wondered what had gotten into him.
June: You’re not sleeping, James?
I’d sent it now. I realized too late how dangerous that question was.
Hunter: No, you?
June: Not yet
Hunter: And let me guess, sloth pajamas?
June: I’m going to sleep, James
I sent the text and threw the phone at the foot of the bed. I hoped he wouldn’t answer me anymore, but after ten minutes, I felt my phone vibrate.
Hunter: Did you already do it?
June: I was just drunk the other night when we did that . . . I erased the message; it wasn’t what I wanted to say.
June: I’ll leave you wondering, Hunter
Hunter: A little much, White
June: You’re one to talk
He was always subtle and never vulgar about it.
Hunter: So are you gonna date Hood?
He’d texted again after a pause.
June: Is that your business, James? I still don’t know, what’s it to you?
Hunter: Yes or no?
June: You’re not going there
Hunter: No, I’m serious
June: I don’t understand what the issue is if I go to Brian’s
Hunter: I’m serious, White
June: Go fuck yourself, then
James stopped answering, and it got on my nerves. I texted him again.
June: Look, he just asked me to study together
Hunter: Look, I don’t give a flying fuck what you do
I plucked up a bit of courage and answered.
June: Doesn’t seem like it
Hunter: You know too much about us. I don’t want you ending up telling Brian stuff that doesn’t affect him
June: Sure, sure
Hunter: Look, do what you want, White. Great
June: You piss me off so much
I nibbled my thumb nervously, and James sent another text.
Hunter: It’s a mistake, have him come to your house instead
June: What’s in Brian’s house that’s so bad, does he have dead bodies buried in the backyard?
Hunter: You’re such a moron, go to bed
June: Then put your phone away and do something else with your fingers
Hunter: At least two for you, are you saying that’d be enough?
June: How old are you that you can’t have a fucking serious conversation without me being embarrassed or grossed out?
June: Why does this seem like a serious discussion to you?
Hunter: Can you quit beating around the bush? Fucking answer me
June: Answer what?
Hunter: Rings or no rings?
I opened my eyes wide. Was he really referring to that?
June: Never tried it
Hunter: We’ll do it with them, then
My cheeks and stomach were warm.
I read his text again, lightheaded.
It seemed so damn attractive, maybe exactly because it was wrong.
Hunter: Are you saying two fingers are too much? After I didn’t reply.
I closed my eyes again, rigid on the bed without knowing how to react.
June: Good night, James
My cheeks burned with embarrassment when I saw the next notification.
Hunter: Fucking good night. Now I got a second wind because of you
June: You’ve confirmed that I bore you, James. Boredom is a choice sometimes
Hunter: There are lot of choices, White
Yeah, sure, someone like him who gave up on spending time with a girl to be there texting me. He must’ve been doing it with ten others in the meantime.
This time I wouldn’t fall for it.
June: Well, wrong choice, Jamie. Sweet dreams
>> <<
I got to school a little late.
I wasn’t used to staying up that late, especially not when I had to get up early.
And instead of worrying about the English homework and the quiz I’d missed the day before, my thoughts were anywhere but there.
“Good morning.”
Jackson said hi back when I reached the hallway.