Chapter 23
Ari
William stared at me for a few moments.
He did that a lot at school, too, but his glances were often furtive and covertly stolen.
But this time he was sitting in front of me, and it was impossible for me not to notice him.
His charcoal-gray eyes peeked out from under a lock of blond hair that kept falling on his forehead despite him trying to fix it.
“How are you?” he asked, taking me by surprise.
Then he looked down, and I took advantage of that to let out a small sigh.
“Good. How about you, Will?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, even though William had nothing to do with my mood.
“Good,” he murmured, lifting his eyes to meet mine.
All it took was one look before we both decided to take our masks off.
“No, that’s not true, that everything is fine,” I admitted, looking down and to the side. William mimicked my gesture like a mirror image.
“Me neither,” he whispered quietly.
We stayed silent for a few moments. I played with the tip of my ponytail between my fingers until he started talking again. “Because of the girls or Brian?”
“All of them,” I admitted faintly.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
It was truly rare when someone was truly interested in me, especially if it was a guy. They usually only cared about my looks, and Will should have been no exception. I’d always looked down on him in the past. I thought he was immature.
Of course I would’ve never thought I’d end up spending the evening talking with him in Poppy’s closet.
We hadn’t spoken in years, but so many things had happened that night that I couldn’t hold it all in.
Brian didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and I sensed that I was about to lose Amelia and Poppy too.
I had everything up until a month ago; now I had nothing.
And I was used to living like this, caught between two worlds.
James and Brian. Even though I knew I meant nothing to James and everything to Brian, I couldn’t make the choice that everyone thought was the right one.
“Is it really over with Brian?” asked William, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah.”
“And with James?”
“Yeah, he wanted to end it,” I admitted begrudgingly.
I saw William nod. Obviously I didn’t need to be his best friend to understand that someone like James Hunter didn’t give a damn about me once Brian was out of the equation.
“I realized how much I didn’t really love him just by breaking up with him. I’m talking about Brian. It didn’t make sense to keep it going despite the fact that we grew up together.”
“Maybe starting over is the best thing you can do.” Will shrugged.
Sure, but it wasn’t easy for a girl who’d never been alone.
“How about you? Rough night, huh?” I changed the subject, pointing at the room on the other side.
“James makes me lose control.”
William’s endearing honesty made me smile.
“I saw.”
“I care about him, but I never understand what kind of intentions he has.”
“Tell me about it, Will. I thought we had something.”
I saw William frown incredulously.
“Special? With James? No offense, Ari, but . . .”
“I know, I got my hopes up. He told me word for word that he didn’t give a shit about me. But then with what happened—”
“It’s not your fault, he does that with all the girls. I don’t think he’ll ever get attached to anyone.”
“Definitely not as attached as he is to you and Jackson,” I specified coldly.
“He’s awful boyfriend material, but I couldn’t ask for a better best friend.”
But his expression soon darkened.
“He loves you like a brother, Will, what are you worried about?”
I sensed his hesitation.
“I don’t know. Since June got here—”
“Will, James would never betray you. He has his faults, but he’s loyal. All of us know that,” I reassured him.
William stopped fidgeting with the feathers on a scarf that hung from a coat hanger and furtively inspected me.
“And how do you know that?”
You know that I knew. “Maybe he never told you, but I kept an eye on him for two years before he took even one look at me.”
“Oh.”
Will massaged the nape of his neck in his usual awkward way.
“So he knew that you—”
But I didn’t have to say any more. He nodded, knowing perfectly well that I was talking about his feelings for me.
I wondered if Will knew that James expected him to forget me before he could even kiss me.
“But with June, I don’t know. He’s different.”
Will took his phone out of his pocket to glance at how much time was left.
“You see him differently?” I inquired, intrigued.
“Yeah, more protective.”
“You’re not jealous, at all, are you,” I teased when I saw him frown even more.
“I don’t know. Now that I really think about it, it’s not even out of jealousy. I’m just scared he’s gonna steal her. Maybe I’m wrong, but when it comes to James, all the girls prefer him over me.”
My heart broke hearing his voice crack with insecurity.
“But not June. She chose you, Will,” I stated firmly. But he seemed immune to my reassurances.
“If I was initially afraid that she’d run away, now I feel stupid after telling her everything. She treats me like a little brother. Even when I do stupid shit, we never fight. She seems afraid of my reaction.”
How could anyone blame her?
“Well, it can’t be easy for her—or you, obviously,” I quickly backtracked.
William didn’t say a word. He seemed like a defenseless puppy, and I wanted to hug him so much.
“Judging by what I saw tonight, James and June can’t stand each other, Will.” Sure, sparks flew between them when they’re together, they just didn’t realize it. But maybe it was better not to rub it in. Will was already paranoid enough.
It certainly didn’t seem fun living in his best friend’s shadow.
“I don’t know,” I heard him mutter.
As much as I felt sorry for him, Will shouldn’t think he was less than James. They were just two completely different guys.
“Why don’t we get dressed up?” Will made a spontaneous suggestion, pointing at the mass of brightly colored clothes hanging over our heads.
“What? What do you mean?”
I only understood what he meant when he handed me one of Poppy’s eccentric outfits.
“Do you want me to put this on, Will? Don’t make me laugh!” I exclaimed, a piece of sequined fabric between my hands.
“You first, I’ll turn around,” he said, turning around.
“Okay.”
I unzipped my dress then noticed a heap of Halloween costumes in a corner.
“Oh god! This must be from one of the Halloweens we went to when we were kids!” I grabbed a fuchsia boa with matching sunglasses.
I was still in my bra and underwear, only covered by the feather boa when Will asked me: “May I?”
“Yeah.”
I saw him squirm immediately when he realized I was undressed.
“Wow what would that be?” I pointed at the piece of checked clothing Will nervously fiddled with.
“Huh?”
I laughed when he grabbed a ridiculous hat and slipped out of his shirt.
“Why is there a cowboy hat in Poppy’s closet and is that a kilt?” I asked, laughing uncontrollably.
“Sure, do you think it would look that bad on me?”
“It doesn’t fit you, Will! It’s so tiny. You’ll tear it!” I shouted, throwing it aside before he could put it on.
We fought with Poppy’s skirt like two little kids until I won. I brought it toward me as much as I could, which led Will to smash into me.
“Sorry,” he said when my back was already against the wall with his bare chest pressed against mine.
I didn’t make a sound when he gently took off the ridiculous glasses.
“I missed you.”
I looked down, trying to hide the effect that his words caused.
“You’re with June now,” I whispered.
William immediately backed away, leaving a small gap between our warm bodies.
“Yeah.”
His light eyes were rapt just from hearing her name being mentioned.
“You really like her, don’t you?”
“June is . . . June. What she thinks is written all over her face and what you see is what you get with her. When I tell her about my problems, she’s genuinely interested in what I have to say. I can tell she cares about me. But then I end up doing the same thing and telling her off.”
“Because of James?” With a little courage, I hazarded a guess.
“That too. We’ve never fought over a girl. It’s only happened once.” He said that while giving me an intense look.
“Will, nothing ever happened between us, you know that, right? Other than that time—” I smiled, looking at the floor, and Will did the same.
“I know, but how could I forget that night?”
I could’ve sworn that the seven minutes was already up, but in that moment neither William nor I seemed to care.
A shy smile lit his face, and I started to not understand what was happening to me.
I felt the shoe rack swing behind me when William sealed my lips with his.
I’d made out with so many guys before, but when our tongues met, I immediately recognized his sweet taste.
With my eyes still closed, I put my arms around his neck.
His skin was scorching hot. We fought with our lips until we were out of breath.
I didn’t feel the deep affection I felt for Brian, but it wasn’t even just sex like it was with James. Will truly wanted me. I felt it in how he caressed my face while he held me tight with one arm.
“For god’s sake.”
When we broke away from each other, I watched him bring the back of his hand to his lips like he wanted to imprint that kiss somewhere. Or, maybe more simply, erase it.
“Ari, I shouldn’t’ve done that.”
I looked around. For a moment I’d forgotten where I was.
“Sorry,” repeated Will.
“No, I’m sorry,” I rushed to say.
And right then Taylor flung the closet door open.
“Of course,” she chirped, looking at me sideways. “You never know how to keep your clothes on, do you?”
I was so overwhelmed by that kiss that I didn’t realize something: I was still in my bra.