Chapter 29 #2
“What if White vomits on my seats? You can at least use your precious leather jacket to clean it up. I haven’t forgotten the last time I let you use my car when you guys played blind man’s bluff with the tequila,” his friend prodded.
I burst out laughing, but James wasn’t in the same mood that I was.
He stayed still. After we got in, my head collapsed onto his chest. I looked up at his Adam’s apple, which quickly slid as soon as James felt the heat of my breath.
“What are you looking at, White?” He tensed up.
I didn’t say anything, maybe because we weren’t alone, but when Tiffany turned on the radio, I drew nearer to his ear to prevent everyone else from hearing us.
“Why’d you do it?”
“I didn’t do shit,” he answered tensely.
“Otherwise I wouldn’t have left.”
When James lowered his gaze at me, it took my breath away. He bit his lower lip before moistening it with his tongue.
“Chill, princess. It was just a game,” he whispered, reminding me of the chill I’d just gotten from being so close to him.
“Were you about to—”
“What do you think?” I heard him say, dangerously close to my ear.
“What?”
“Do you think I would’ve fucked you with William in front of everyone?” I felt my intestines tie themselves in knots.
“I don’t understand.”
“I told you, it was a game,” he repeated staunchly.
Of course it was. James didn’t care about me, who was I kidding?
“What kind of game is this?” I groaned to myself.
Besides, was it possible for Will to be so comfortable with this? What happened to all that jealousy?
“Will . . .”
My thoughts shattered into a million pieces, completely crumbling when James plunged his fingers between my locks of hair. He pressed his warm hand against my cheek, while I sank my face into his chest. I closed my eyes and did nothing but inhale his scent and listen to his heartbeat.
I must’ve passed out during the car ride because when I opened my eyes again, I found myself squeezed between James’s arms. I swung with the rocking movements of his footsteps, but as soon as I realized that he was positioning me on the bed, I jumped.
“Oh, no. My mom is gonna kill me.”
A chuckle. Tiffany lay down next to me.
“Where . . .”
I looked around long enough to realize that I wasn’t at my house, but in James’s room.
“I’m gonna check if Jasper’s sleeping, don’t do anything, you two.” I recognized his annoyed voice as he left the room.
“Who, us? No way,” exclaimed Tiffany, making me smile. I couldn’t control my face’s movements.
Normally, I didn’t think she was so fun. I turned around and met her dark gaze.
Or so beautiful.
“The cat’s away,” she whispered quietly, in a particularly goofy tone.
“Are we the rats that are going to play?” I covered my mouth with one hand to stifle my laughter for the umpteenth time.
“Something like that,” she said turning onto her side. She sank her elbow into the mattress and leaned her cheek on the palm of her hand.
“You wanna know the truth, June? The truth is he doesn’t want me to make a move on you.”
And why should you? the June I know would’ve said. Instead, I posed another question. “Why doesn’t he?”
“He’s all weird,” I heard her say, while I had several flashbacks of the night.
“Did you see something?”
My question made her smirk.
“I passed by you when I went to vape with Jackson, so, yeah, I saw you.”
“What’d you see?”
“That if you kept provoking him a little more you would’ve made them both die of a heart attack.”
I covered my face with my hands.
“How embarrassing.”
Luckily, Tiffany seemed like the last person on the planet who would judge me.
“Who knows why they behaved like that,” I let slip. Tiffany seemed to be contemplating it seriously.
“In James’s case, boredom. Monogamy is too traditional for someone like him, not to mention that he can’t connect to anyone even though he keeps trying.”
“I understand that. He doesn’t seem like the type who can get into a serious relationship. But if we’re talking about, um—” I threw that out there innocently, but my curiosity was piqued.
“If we’re talking about sex, it’s the exact same thing, June. He always tries to create deeper intimacy, but he never can.”
I wanted to know more. “Why do you think?”
“I don’t know, a matter of preferences. He prefers emotionally cold people who will never allow him to fall in love with them. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism.”
“And Will?”
“Will just wants to feel like he measures up to James. Do what James does. He wants to feel accepted, and on the one hand, I get it. It’s never been easy for him. Everyone loves him, but at the same time they all treat him like he’s different.”
“So you think Will wanted to use me tonight to impress James and make him feel like he was at James’s level?
“Use you?” Tiffany’s voice burst into a resounding laugh. “Get rid of that internalized misogyny. You’re not an inanimate object, June. You have the power to choose who to dance and make out with. If you wanted to, you would have. Don’t you think you would’ve had fun too?”
Her tone became more mischievous, and I didn’t know what to think anymore. Tiffany was capable of reversing perspectives, and a few seconds later she made me see the situation from a whole new angle.
“It definitely wouldn’t be cool of them to make a move at a time like this. I’ve never done it, and they know it. So, yeah, in a certain sense they would’ve taken advantage of me. Not to mention, clear thinking isn’t my forte at the moment.”
“Did the two of them seem clear headed to you? If you gave them a blood test, it probably would’ve shown that you were the one who took advantage of James.”
I frowned at her until she gave me a light pat on the shoulder.
“Come on, I’m joking! But tell me something, have you really never done it, June?”
“No.”
“Nothing, nothing?” she seemed almost shocked that she had to ask that. “You’re really a—”
“Yeah. Totally.” Inexorably, I’d say.
“I don’t believe you,” she muttered.
I’ll go to the grave a virgin, and if you had the same phobia about taking your pants off in front of someone, I think you’d understand, dear Tiffany.
“June.” Tiffany looked me in the eye for long moment then sat up while I admired her from down below.
“I’ll tell you mine, but don’t tell James that I told you about it.”
“Shoot.”
“When it comes to you, I think it’s all a matter of trust between Will and James. Will probably wanted proof of loyalty.”
“He would’ve had plenty, James never kissed me, or thought of me that way,” I admitted quietly.
“The fact that he never tried anything with you doesn’t mean he’s not interested. We’re talking about James. And the fact that he’s really taking all this time with you is what’s weird about it.”
“Well, he’s acting that way because he doesn’t like me,” I murmured, stretching out my legs, which felt progressively weaker.
Tiffany smiled and threw her head back.
“Or maybe because he knows I’ve never done it, and . . .”
How did we end up talking about this? I must’ve been really trashed to confess such intimate things to a girl I barely know.
“June, you don’t know James. If he wanted to bang you in the first place, he’d try.
Whether you’re a virgin or not. Whether you’re standing against a wall or not, whether or not you’re Will’s girlfriend.
Do you think he cares about anything? One girl’s worth another.
” Her words piled on top of each other in my hazy mind, creating prohibited images that I’d have preferred to avoid.
“So what? I don’t understand what you’re getting at,” I whispered, looking at her right in the eyes.
“I’m saying that he’s different with you, and Will realized that. It’s like William asked him: Show me that you’ll put me first and not her. Show me that she’s not special and doesn’t mean anything to you.”
“How could Will be so petty?” I sat up, horrified.
“If you and James felt something for each other, it would be petty, but—”
“I don’t feel anything for him,” I burst out, as my cheeks burst into flames.
“Shh, he’s coming!” I heard her chortle, covering my mouth with her hand. Footsteps approached the closed door then vanished in the distance. “False alarm.”
We burst out laughing. “Where’d he go?”
Tiffany shrugged it off.
“Probably to eat something like he usually does.”
“Is he always eating? God, I’m so jealous,” I murmured, touching my soft stomach.
“I don’t envy him at all. James has been on a diet since he was thirteen.”
“Meaning?”
“Boxing, football, the gym. It all put so much bullshit in his head.”
I thought again about his dad, who I’d often seen getting back from working out.
“It was Jordan, wasn’t it?”
“No. Not at all. Jordan was never there.”
“So?”
But my morbid curiosity didn’t end up being satisfied because Tiffany came near to my face, sending a chill down my spine.
“Enough talking about Jamie. I’m really sorry about before. Do you feel better?” she hissed, brushing her fingers through my blond hair, scattered on the pillow.
“It makes my head spin,” I admitted.
She shook her head, fidgeting with a lock of her chestnut hair.
“James is right, I was reckless. You should never accept drinks from strangers,” she murmured softly.
“To think I even agreed to wear a stranger’s clothes,” I observed.
I bit my lip, stunned by my tone of voice, which was suddenly warm and sensual.
“Yeah, well, you have to give it back to me,” she whispered, bringing her lips to my ear.
“Now?” I raised an eyebrow, almost shocked by my audacity, but when Tiffany pressed her lips to mine, I realized she was the one with the real initiative.
“Exactly. Now, blondie.”
I closed my eyes and smiled as our lips collided softly. As soon as I opened my lips, I tasted the flavor of her soft tongue, while her hand grazed against the dress’s side zipper.
Tiffany licked my side with a passionate stroke, but my nerves froze. I didn’t feel comfortable getting undressed in front of anyone, and Tiffany seemed to sense how I felt. She stopped playing with the zipper and put both hands on the mattress.