Chapter 21
June
I was surprised by the unusual silence in Poppy’s town house when I got there.
“June! You’re here too!”
Poppy opened the door, clearly buzzed. She was wearing a light-blue cardigan with a bikini underneath. I felt agitated as I followed her to the garden.
“Did you bring your swimsuit?” she asked, taking a sip from a drink with strawberries and mint leaves.
Jackson and Marvin were in the water with two girls.
Poppy realized they were smoking, and she ran to tell them off. I was alone in the middle of the garden.
“Finally, you’re here.”
Ari pulled me back inside and held out her hand expectantly.
Was I really reduced to this? Being a drug mule for a bit of attention?
“All of them or just one?”
“Give me everything,” she said curtly.
“What’re you gonna use them for?”
She blinked at me. “So I don’t sleep, June.”
She walked away, joining Brian in the kitchen.
He grabbed her hand. “What’d June give you?” he asked, glancing at me.
“Nothing. I have a bit of a headache. She just gave me some Tylenol.” Ari just lied to her boyfriend, and looked him right in the eyes when she did it.
I was inundated by conflicting emotions again.
What if James was telling the truth? I immediately brushed away that thought.
It wasn’t any of my business, and Ari was too perfect to cheat on her equally perfect boyfriend.
I went back to the living room, where Poppy was discussing tomorrow’s homework with Sammy.
I felt jealousy take hold of me like a poisonous snake. My grades were mediocre, and all I did was study every afternoon just to keep up while they smoked, got drunk day in and day out, and were still straight-A students.
It was like being in a race knowing you’d lost as soon as you started.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” I muttered.
I needed to get away from this mess.
“June, can I lend you a bathing suit?” Poppy asked as she rubbed a cloth on the Coke- and rum-stained carpet.
“No, thanks.”
“Why?”
They had their secrets, and so did I. “I’ll be right back.” I cut her off.
I got to the bathroom, locked myself inside, and leaned back against the door.
“It’s easy to hide away reading books, isn’t it? No drama, no stomachaches, no fighting . . .”
The curtain pulled back, revealing a bathtub.
“Blaze! You almost gave me a heart attack!” I shouted, putting my hand on my chest. “You hide in the bathroom?”
“Sometimes.”
He got up and jumped out of the tub.
“You all right?”
He nodded. “Did you have to pee? Do you want me to leave?”
“No, stay here.” I cut him off, moving closer to the sink.
He looked at me embarrassed. “June . . .”
“I don’t have to use the bathroom, Blaze.”
We smiled for a moment.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
Blaze leaned back against the tiles.
“The bathroom gives me a sense of security. Ninety-nine percent of the time you’re in here, you’re alone, which is a big advantage. Nobody can follow you in here, and you have an excuse to do whatever you can’t do in front of other people.”
“Like?”
“Panic attacks.” His answer was so blunt that I was taken aback.
“Does that happen often?” I asked.
“More than it should.”
“I’m sorry.”
He lowered his head then rubbed his chest with the palm of his hand. “What happened to you?”
“Nothing, I . . .”
I felt the wound on my inner thigh sting.
“I’m not really comfortable around the girls. Not like I thought I’d be.”
“Do they scare you?”
“They’re great, I think. But when we’re at these kind of parties . . . I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m a part of their group.”
“Welcome to my world.”
“Why’d you talk about William like that?” I asked after a moment. “What did you mean by he wasn’t what he seemed like?”
“That he’s hiding something from you, and I don’t think it’s fair to you.”
I furrowed my brow, and my disappointment got him to admit one last thing.
“But he really likes you, June. I’m sure he’ll find the right way to tell you.”
I was disoriented. And my confusion grew when I saw Blaze head to the door.
“I’m going back in. It’s my turn,” he whispered.
I looked in the mirror.
In some ways, Blaze understood me. Maybe he and I were more similar than I’d thought. I would’ve liked to hide away from everyone.
It was the only way I knew how to stop feeling hurt.
But as much as the memory of what happened at Will’s party still stung, I was here with those people for one reason: William.
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t mean to upset anyone and that I didn’t have any preconceived notions of him, and I wasn’t a snob. I just couldn’t stand his best friend.
I gathered up my strength and went looking for him, but as soon as I set foot outside the bathroom, I heard voices coming from upstairs.
Eavesdropping was a terrible thing to do. It was a blatant invasion of privacy, but I had no other choice. It was Amelia and James.
“So was it you or not?” She seemed annoyed, almost scornful.
“Did your dick of a brother send you to give me the third degree?”
“Why can’t you answer for once, James?”
“Why doesn’t he grow a pair and take it up with me in person?”
“Because he doesn’t want to even look at you! And I don’t blame him!” I walked up two steps to get closer and hear better.
“My god, you two are so . . .”
“James, careful what you say.” She stopped him.
“Look, he knew.” James’s tone was decisive and infuriated.
“Brian has other shit to deal with.”
“You Hoods are the ones who start shit.”
There was a moment of silence interrupted by Amelia’s voice. “James, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t do anything.”
“I’m not judging. But you’re about to cross the line, just so you know.”
“You’re talking to me about crossing the line? You locked June in a basement! You pushed her up against the wall, you threatened her, and you made your best friend go haywire in front of everyone! You always win the gold medal for starting shit!”
“Yeah, sure. Just until I open my mouth, Amelia. Just until I open my mouth.” Was she blackmailing him?
“Go fuck yourself, James.”
“Always at your service.”
“Quit bugging me. I’ll give you the money later,” she spat. Their voices were anything but friendly.
“I’m not interested in your money.”
“Sure, you play the hero and then show up at school with a black eye. I don’t want to have you on my conscience the day they expel you.”
Another brief period of silence followed.
“I did it for you.” James’s words sounded harsh.
“You did it for yourself.”
I heard Amelia’s footsteps approach the door, so I scampered down the stairs. But with my usual elephantine grace, I bumped into someone.
“June.”
“Hey, William.”
I was so lost in his eyes that I didn’t realize the mess I’d just made.
As soon as I bumped into him, the snack tray that Will was carrying to the pool went flying.
Poppy appeared behind him and began shouting.
“She’s going through menopause! How many times do I have to tell you?
My mom’s going through menopause and has a short fuse!
First the Coke. Now ketchup on the carpet. Why are you doing this to me?”
“Chill, Poppy. I’ll help you,” William reassured her. But she was too agitated to listen to him. “Take her for a few minutes to calm her down,” he whispered at me, bending down to pick up the mess on the floor.
Begrudgingly, I walked away, bringing Poppy to the kitchen.
“Poppy, don’t worry. You sure you’re okay?” I asked her. She started rummaging through the glasses, bottles, and dishes.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Really,” she snapped neurotically, rubbing a cloth on the counter.
I scowled when I saw her hand tremble. “Poppy, let’s go outside. Everything’s fine in here.”
She stopped with her head bowed and her fingers gripping the kitchen sink. “Sorry, June, it’s just that my mom . . . you don’t know her. If she finds anything out of place when she gets home, she’ll throw me out.”
“Don’t worry, the house is organized. What do you say we get some air? If we all stay outside nothing bad can happen inside.”
She nodded, fiddling with a hangnail near her thumbnail. I’d never seen her this anxious. I managed to take her out to the yard and got her to put her feet in the water.
Poppy’s pool was a big rectangular mirror surrounded by white tiles and flanked by a line of pool chairs. I looked at the water and wondered what the girls would say if they ever came to my house. I didn’t have a garden. I didn’t have a pool.
“June?”
I turned to her, sitting next to me.
“You and Will, in theater . . .” We both sighed. “You were cute.”
I smiled, unable to hide the embarrassment I felt every time anyone talked about William. “What do you mean?”
“You should talk to him. I almost lost my mind when you kissed.”
“Really?”
We giggled like schoolgirls.
James came over to the pool edge, followed by Sammy. Her cheeks were flushed with alcohol, and I saw him fiddle with the end of her pigtail as she looked at him adoringly. My stomach turned.
She wasn’t the problem, nor were any of the other girls he went out with. In fact, I felt sorry for them. I could see from a mile away that he didn’t care about any of them. But they kept hanging around him. What did that say? How did he deceive them?
Sammy stuck her nose in James’s white T-shirt. What did she want from him besides a physical relationship? Maybe he had a heart? Would anyone ever be able to see it?
I had to stop poking my nose into that piece of work’s business, but I couldn’t help myself. He somehow intrigued me.
“Poppy, can I ask you something? Where’d you disappear to at Will’s party?”
I’d only known her for a few weeks, but I immediately recognized her facial expression. Guilt.
“Um, I was with . . . uh . . .” She looked around and then stared at him. James wasn’t lying.
“You really can’t lie, can you?” I asked her.
“How did you know that, June?”
“Because a guy like him doesn’t know how to keep certain things to himself,” I retorted.
“But it’s not what you think.”
Poppy seemed sincere; maybe she was overly na?ve.