Chapter 23
Jackson
James shook his head when he realized that I was driving to his house.
“Don’t take me home. Can I crash at your place?”
“James . . .”
“Come on, Jax.”
“Is it because of your dad? Is he giving you shit?”
“What the fuck do I care about my dad? I don’t want my brother to see me like this.”
I nodded, giving in to his request.
“Did you talk to Taylor after she told you off in theater class?”
“I hope you’re joking.” He burst out laughing.
“No. She seemed really pissed.”
“Why, because she had a reason to be?” He narrowed his blue eyes. “Are you siding with her now?”
“No, but you fucking hurt her.”
I saw him grumble before putting a vape pen in his mouth. “She did it to herself. I told her a million times that we aren’t together.”
“Did you tell Sammy, Becky, Poppy, Tiffany, et cetera?”
He stared at me as if I’d just grown a third head. “Well?”
“Well, you say one thing but then you do another. Why do you always go back to them? They always end up hating you, James.”
He put his forehead on the window, chewing on the mouthpiece of the vape pen. He always did that when he was nervous.
“June White already hates you,” I added to get a reaction out of him, which came quickly.
“Why do you like her so much, Jax? I don’t understand why my two best friends think so much of that pain in the ass.”
“Eh, she told me to go fuck myself, and she punched you in the face. You can say what you want, but she doesn’t take crap from anyone.”
“You’re a grade-A fucking masochist,” he snapped.
“What the fuck does that have to do with—”
“Someone telling you to go fuck yourself turns you on. What the hell is that called?”
“I’m not a masochist, James. Stop it.” I tensed up.
Except for when I let you stamp all over my heart. You pummel it more than you do the punching bag in your room when you’re letting off steam.
“She doesn’t mind her fucking business.”
James’s profile was a mixture of light and shadows as the street passed by. The perfect curve of his nose, the square jawline, his lips . . .
“Jax?” he called.
What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, June White.
“And does that piss you off because she’s a busybody or because she’ll never give it up to you?”
James chuckled coarsely. “Oh, Jackson, your grandma would give it up for me if I wanted her to.”
“Hey! That’s my grandma you’re talking about.”
He wasn’t even listening to me anymore. He looked out the window and finished his thoughts. “But I definitely don’t want to bang anyone who doesn’t know how to go down on me.”
“Wow, aren’t you a modern Shakespeare,” I mocked him.
Maybe he knew June wasn’t interested in him, and that was why he liked her.
I’d known James since we were little—I knew he wasn’t a fan of easy stuff that he could get without any effort.
That bored him. And all the girls who surrounded him were proof of that.
He loved the chase and excitement of conquering someone or something that nobody else could.
“But besides that, White’s a fucking problem,” he added.
“Why?”
“Because as soon as she finds something out, she wants to know more. The more she’s up my ass, the more we’re at risk.”
James was drunk, even though he seemed perfectly lucid then.
“You think so?”
“And I know how it’s going to end with Will,” he said with conviction.
“How?”
“They’ll get together.”
“Is that a bad thing? It could be the right thing for him, something that he doesn’t quit at the first hint of difficulty.”
“Bullshit. She’ll dump him, and he’ll suffer. End of story.”
“Is that why you don’t want them to be together?”
James narrowed his eyes before exhaling a cloud of smoke.
“I’m gonna destroy her if it’s the last thing I do,” he concluded.
I shook my head, but he looked too serious to be joking. James always felt protective of William, and I couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t easy for Will to get into a relationship with someone.
“You’re wrong. That’s not how it’s gonna go. I saw them onstage. They really like each other.”
I saw him suck the vape pen smoke greedily, as if he wanted to drain the whole thing in one drag.
“What stage?”
I lowered my window, too, to get all the smoke out.
“You weren’t there. They kissed in theater class.”
He raised an eyebrow. “In front of everyone?”
“What, does that weird you out, James?”
“They fought.”
“They fought because you made them fight,” I corrected him.
“Bullshit,” he retorted, frustrated.
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that Will’s crazy about her.” Yeah, I liked a little gossip every once in a while.
“Bullshit,” he repeated before glaring at me. “Look, don’t talk to me anymore about that stupid fucking bitch. So can I sleep here with you?”
“As long as you don’t make goo-goo eyes at my grandma.”
“What the fuck are you talking about!” He burst out laughing, and looked outside again.
The piercing on the left side of his mouth distracted me. For a moment, I lost sight of the road.
“I mean the last time I saw you bantering with her in the kitchen you were buttering her up.”
“I was just convincing her to make edibles out of her cookies for me.”
“Yeah, by telling her that she was the most beautiful girl you’d ever seen when she was young.”
“But now she loves me, so shut up, Jax.”
We laughed together until we got to my house.
I waited for James to finish vaping and then turned the key while putting my finger to my lips.
Obviously, he didn’t pay any attention to me and started laughing even louder as we entered the living room.
He stumbled, and as big of a guy as I was, drunk James was really heavy to support.
“Quiet down, for Christ’s sake!” I hissed under my breath.
“Shh,” he whispered mischievously in my ear.
His warm breath gave me chills. I felt my lips tremble.
We got to my room. James kicked the clothes on the floor and took off the jacket I’d loaned him.
The light on the bed was dim. The shadows perfectly fell on the lines of his muscles and smooth, tan skin.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” I muttered, leaving the provocative exhibition behind. I heard noises as I started brushing my teeth.
I should’ve locked myself in because James snuck up behind me after a few minutes. I jumped when I saw his face in the mirror.
“James?” I asked with my mouth full of toothpaste. “What do you want? Why are you taking your clothes off?”
I averted my gaze as his black boxers hit the floor.
“Am I not allowed to take a shower?”
His back looked like an inverse triangle, wide up top and slender on the bottom. I feasted my eyes on every muscle and stopped right before his butt.
What a fucking shit show, I thought to myself as he disappeared into the shower. I put on the usual T-shirt that I wore to bed and got under the covers. I stared at the ceiling until James got out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around his waist.
“Can I borrow your boxers?” he asked.
I nodded, and he rummaged through my underwear drawer.
I looked at the TV to avoid watching him change.
“Fuck, I can’t fit in here.”
James curled his lip into a smirk, motioning to the mattress that I’d set up on the floor for him.
“You slept here once.”
“I’ve grown since we were in elementary school. Nine inches, to be exact.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
He climbed onto the bed and eyed on the poster of Jacob Elordi in Euphoria hanging on the wall.
He was talking about boxing, but his mischievous smile didn’t go unnoticed.
“I don’t like fighting,” I muttered reluctantly.
The sight of blood made me uncomfortable, and I couldn’t stand violence. James, on the other hand, reveled in it.
“Now, tell me, Jax, what’s better than . . .” He pointed at a photo of a shirtless Jacob Elordi.
“James, that show doesn’t exactly glorify Nate’s character. You know that too—it’s a criticism of him.”
“I’m not talking about beating the crap out of anyone or hurting someone. I’m talking about the adrenaline rush of taking a risk. The freedom of being yourself,” he answered, untangling his messy, wet hair with his fingers.
“Are you telling me that beating the crap out of people is better than sex?”
“It wouldn’t be exaggerating.” He grinned.
He sprawled out on the pillow, and I couldn’t help but tease him.
“Nine inches, huh? You’re such a dick.” He playfully punched me in the side.
“Can I sleep here in your bed?” he asked, motioning to the mattress that we lay on.
I sucked on my piercing to alleviate the tension. “No.”
“What’s wrong, are you afraid someone will touch you in their sleep?” I felt like I was burning up. I had to get away from him.
“Let’s do this: I’ll sleep on the mattress, and you sleep here,” I declared as I got up.
James looked incredulous. His blue eyes stared at me suspiciously. “Really?”
Everyone knew I wasn’t exactly Mr. Nice Guy. I would’ve kicked Marvin’s ass before I let him sleep in my bed.
“Yeah. Now shut up and let me sleep.”
“I can’t wait to see that asshole Brian Hood cry like a baby tomorrow.”
“The coach hasn’t talked with you yet?” I asked, settling in on the most uncomfortable air mattress in history.
“Not yet. He thought he could be a dick to us, snitching on us. Dick.”
Brian had caught us smoking weed in the locker room, and the next day he told the coach, hoping that the coach would throw us off the team.
Sure, the coach tore us a new one, but he didn’t have the luxury of cutting his best players over a pair of joints.
He played dumb and lashed out at Brian for “turning his back on the team.”
“Is he gonna cut him?”
“No, but he won’t be captain anymore.”
I’d stretched out my arm to turn out the light when I jumped.
“Why the fuck did you take off your boxers, James?”
“I sleep naked. Didn’t you know that?” he remarked innocently. “What the fuck is your problem with that, Jax? We shower together three times a week after practice.”
But I turn around every time to not stare at how fucking perfect you are.
“Please, shut up and go to bed.”
He fell asleep. I hit my head on the pillow.