Chapter 30
June
“I am so, so, so sorry.”
To my surprise, William came to the gym right after class.
“You passed out like an old man, okay. You’re forgiven.” I tried to smile, even though I was concerned about Blaze.
“I’m sorry I stood you up at Tropical, but more than that, I’m sorry I didn’t spend the afternoon with you.”
“It’s fine, Will. I mean, you could’ve texted me.”
We sat on the stairs to have a bit of privacy and take our time talking.
“I know. But my parents stopped me.”
What he’d told me at the party echoed in my head. “Didn’t you tell me they left?” I asked, perplexed.
Will looked down at me. He’d just lied, and I knew it.
“Oh, well, yeah, on the phone.”
I shook my head, looking at the floor. He was too good to be true. Besides being really hot, Will had turned out to be sensitive, interesting, delicate, and attentive toward me. But something wasn’t right.
“What do you say we meet up tonight? We can study?” He gave me a hopeful look. I had a feeling that it was better to drop it and that I should say no. But I couldn’t.
What do you want from me, William Cooper?
Why did I still get the sense that he wasn’t being honest with me and didn’t care about seeing me?
The truth was that I didn’t want to be strung along like I had been over the past few days. Some girls might find that mysterious act charming, but I didn’t. I just wanted a guy who was honest and showed up for dates. That didn’t seem like too much to ask.
“Okay, Will. But this is the last time—”
William cut me off by kissing me. “Is your mom home right now?”
“Yeah.” I got defensive.
“All right.”
“All right what, Will?” I stared at him, bewildered.
“I wanna meet her.”
He’d clearly lost his mind. “Oh, well, so . . .”
“Why not?” he grumbled, shrugging.
“What do I tell her, how should I introduce you?”
“I like you, June. I don’t care what you call this. I wanna keep seeing you.”
It wasn’t nice of me to keep doubting him, but the fear of screwing it up was huge. We had to take it slow.
“Maybe not at my house, okay? Let’s do it when my mom isn’t around. Trust me, you don’t know her.”
Will looked slightly crestfallen.
We got up to leave the gym. A tall figure was leaning against the door with his arms crossed. It was James waiting for Will.
“See you later,” I mumbled.
“June?” Will called. “This afternoon, my place?”
I didn’t want to stay there with them for even a second longer, so I smiled and nodded, then walked away very slowly.
“Tonight?” asked James.
“Yeah, sure,” answered Will.
There was no hesitation in his voice. Yeah, sure, what?
I leaned against the door to listen.
“You sure?” continued James.
“Yeah. Don’t ask me again.”
“I thought being with Little Miss Perfect would make you change your mind.” I froze in place.
“Do you think I could tell you about something like that?”
“And why not?” taunted James, amused. “Didn’t you find your dream girl?” His sarcastic tone offended me, but I wasn’t surprised. Every time he opened his mouth I ended up feeling degraded.
“Come on, James, can’t you be serious for once?”
Of course, I didn’t pretend that Will had said he’d just found the woman of his dreams; I wasn’t that delusional. But the skeptical answer he gave made my stomach turn. I decided it was time to go before I heard something that I’d regret hearing.
>> <<
“Do you want me to pick you up?”
Will called me around five thirty, taking me by surprise. I hadn’t expected him to keep any of his promises.
“I’ll go there. I remember where you live,” I said apathetically.
I should’ve forgotten about how much I heard in the morning; after all, there could be a more reasonable explanation for what was said. But my suspicion toward Will only grew.
“All right.”
“Later, Will.”
I was about to hang up when Will stopped me.
“June?”
I stayed still and quiet.
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“Yeah.”
I couldn’t say anything else; I only felt relief when I hung up.
I headed to the garage to dust off my bike.
I felt my heart skip a beat when I saw that the old frame had remained intact after countless moves.
I almost jumped when I got to the kitchen.
Mom was perched on the seat like an owl with her iPad under her nose, looking at a collection of multicolored splotches.
“To what do we owe the honor of taking that old heap of steel out for a ride?”
“Mom!”
She looked out the window curiously, pointing at the bike.
“Does the occasion have a name?”
“I’m gonna study at Amelia’s.”
“He must be really cute if all you’ve done is go out this last week.”
“What are you talking about?” I feigned a scandalized tone, but she was too astute. And my embarrassment didn’t get past her.
“I’ll take you to Amelia’s.”
“Mom, no. I want to take a ride. It’s such a beautiful day.”
I pulled back the curtain to look at the sky, but the sound of thunder made me jump.
What a shitty day. It never rained here. Why did it have to start now?
“All right, I’m out.”
“June, wait a minute. I wanna talk to you.”
“Yeah, I already told you, I’m coming to the stupid dinner.”
“I’m glad. I wanted to tell you something else, and I don’t think you’ll like it.” I stopped against the doorjamb.
She put the iPad on the table and put her glasses back on.
“They offered me a permanent job.”
“But you already have a job.”
“Come on, June, I’m serious.”
Oh, so she was admitting that painting wasn’t a real job?
“Do we need money?” I asked worriedly.
“I could’ve made a few errors.”
I grumbled, crossing my arms across my chest. It was always the same story. I wanted to voice my resentment out loud, but when I saw her rubbing her forehead and looking deep in thought, I started to worry.
“Are you saying that we’re already leaving?”
It was a record. We didn’t even last a month this time.
“No, what are you talking about? There’s a job opportunity here.”
“That’s great news. Why wouldn’t that make me happy?”
“Well, you know I taught in the past . . .”
Oh no. No, no.
I covered my ears with my hands to not hear what she was saying.
“Not at my school, Mom!”
“Jordan told me they’re looking for an art teacher for extracurricular activities.”
Jordan? The guy who’d invited her to dinner had found her a job too? Seriously? I turned away from her.
“And, June.”
“Yeah,” I snapped, exasperated.
“There was a man’s uniform in your laundry. I ironed it, but you should know that . . .”
“Okay, let’s do this: I won’t ask you how many times you made out with Mr. Curator to get a job, and you don’t ask me about the uniform.”
“June Madeline White!” Her scream got farther away as I put my hood over my head and went out into the rain and got onto my bike. I got to William’s house in twenty minutes. The rain went away quickly, making way for a dark, starless night sky.
I rang the doorbell after leaning the bike against the wall.
“Hi.”
I was so agitated that I almost didn’t realize that Will tried to kiss me before I walked in. Luckily, he didn’t seem too offended by it. He looked down at my gym shoes and smiled.
“Yeah, I’ll take them off,” I emphasized, taking off my drenched Converse.
Will’s living room looked unrecognizable. Clean, orderly, quiet. The last time I was here it had been full of wild people, and I’d just been thrown out.
The unpleasant feeling attached to that memory accosted me and got worse as soon as we set foot in the kitchen.
I put my wet backpack on the floor. Will had already organized his book and the English notes on the table.
I tried to hide my disappointment, but my clichéd smile came out forced.
Will had every intention of studying, and even though I knew we were here to do that, I thought we’d talk a little first.
I sat down and stared. For a moment I looked out the window at the huge yard in the dark and the image of our first kiss.
“Wanna start with physics or English?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I replied, putting my English book on the table.
The rain started falling again, tapping against the glass. Usually that was my favorite background noise for studying in the afternoon. But I couldn’t concentrate then. And Will noticed.
“Want something to eat?” he asked, fidgeting.
His light eyes got lost in mine, and I said the first thing that came to my head.
“I wanna see your room. Maybe talk a little bit.”
Immediately, I shut my mouth, regretting that absurd request. William stared at me confused.
“Oh, okay,” he mumbled hesitantly.
We went upstairs in rigid silence. The wooden stairs creaked underneath our feet until we stopped at a mahogany door. Will flung it open, then flipped on the switch. A cold light illuminated a sterile room. The room was so clean and organized that it would cause chaos in my head.
Nothing. There was nothing. The monochromatic colors on the walls captured my attention. They were black except for one behind the bed. Everything seemed really impersonal.
“Are you a minimalist?” I asked. I couldn’t say anything else. William seemed lost for words too.
“I fill it up with stuff sometimes, then I purge all of it. I purged everything.”
I tasted something bitter. “What do you mean?”
I could’ve nodded and said Oh, interesting instead of asking questions, but my curiosity got the best of me.
William didn’t speak. It looked like he wasn’t even breathing.
“You okay?” I let a smile creep onto my face, hoping that his yes would be convincing.
At that point, he nodded and sat on the bed.
“Everything okay?” I prodded.
I tried to make eye contact. Will was still the same guy who’d said those wonderful things to me at Poppy’s party, even though it didn’t feel like it. There was something invisible that kept us apart from each other.
“Yeah, I’m just uncomfortable having someone in here,” he admitted.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I just wanna get to know more about you, but if you want we can go back—” I took a step toward the door, but he motioned for me to come next to him.
“No, stay here.”