Chapter 32
June
“Where? Where? Where?”
I kept asking questions that got no answers. The only thing that they seemed to care about was getting away from that place and the seedy characters surrounding it.
The guy stopped in front of a shed with a clear plastic window. It seemed like a box office. He grabbed a crumpled-up notebook and wrote down numbers. It was too dark to read what he wrote, but I heard terrifying roars in the distance.
“Where do we have to go?”
“I’m gonna show you that my life is no joke, White. I wanna see if you still want to get in my way.”
There was no time to argue. James turned a corner, and a group of sports cars caught my attention.
I panicked, which only got worse when James pulled a pair of keys from his leather jacket. After opening a car door, he got in, and I was alone. Everything was clear as day.
“Listen, I didn’t ask to participate in this loser version of The Fast and the Furious, I just wanted to—”
“Stick your nose into everyone’s fucking business like always.” James finished my sentence, and I didn’t know why, but I’d already flung the car door open and sat down in the passenger seat.
Without saying anything else, he turned on the engine, and in a few seconds we got onto the track with two other sports cars.
“Tell me why . . .”
“If you wanna get out, open the fucking door and get out. If you’re gonna stay here, keep your mouth shut.”
My breath was locked in my throat. What was I supposed to do?
I looked out the window; the guy with the ponytail had a pistol in his hand, and my brain went haywire.
James didn’t say anything. Weirdly.
He threw his jacket on the back seat, leaving him in a tight-fitting T-shirt that accentuated his sculpted physique. His chest moved quickly under the black fabric.
“You okay?” I asked him.
He looked confused. “What kind of fucking question is that?”
“You heard me. I want to know if you’re okay.” He lowered his head without answering.
“Just tell me what you’re doing here. Is it for money?”
He curled his lip like he was insulted by my insinuation. “Yeah, they earn money.”
“Do you need money?”
Nobody at school needed money. What were we doing here?
“No, of course not,” he denied coldly.
“Why—”
“Adrenaline, you ever heard of it?” He stared at me so coldly for a few seconds that I shut up.
“No. It can’t just be that.” I started again when I saw him bite the inside of his cheek. “You’re not afraid of dying?”
“Did you ever think that maybe I want to?”
The loud roar of the motor interrupted my thoughts, making me jump in my seat.
“Did you have to say that a second before starting the car?” I exclaimed shrilly.
“Fasten your seat belt.”
I felt my agitation get stronger. “Sorry, what?”
James looked at me. “Fasten your fucking seat belt and hold on tight.”
He didn’t have to tell me twice. As soon as I heard the pistol, an unexpected burst of speed made me lean back and shut my eyes.
The deafening sound of the engines pierced my eardrums. I thought I was gonna die for a moment, then a sharp turn pushed me against the car door.
I felt the brakes skid and the wheels scratch the asphalt.
I tried opening my eyes again and immediately regretted it.
There was very little light, but I caught a glimpse of bushes rushing past us at lightning speed through the window.
Then I was catapulted forward with the same brutality. And it all stopped. My heart was still going a hundred miles an hour.
“You’re out of your fucking mind!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. James got out of the car calmly as I tried to digest what just happened.
We were back at the starting point. A group of people were clapping.
“You wanna get out?” he asked, opening the car door.
“You’re really insane!” It didn’t seem like I could say anything else.
“Exactly. I’m crazy. I’m a nutcase. Now go home!” He mimicked me without even looking at me.
“What the hell are you doing here? June?”
I got out of the car with wobbly knees and saw William looking at us quizzically. “Everything okay?” he asked, then hugged me.
I was shaking so much that I was stunned that my knees still supported my weight.
“Where’d you go?”
“June, you okay?” he insisted, seeing my freaked-out face.
“I’m a bit nauseated.”
“I can’t believe you!” He broke up our hug to have a go at his friend. “You made her come with you, James? Are you serious?”
William’s surly scowl was met by James’s sarcastic sneer.
“So? You left her here,” he answered, shrugging indifferently.
“Are you out of your mind? Why did you do that?”
I’d never seen William so mad.
“What, you don’t trust me?” James egged him on.
What I didn’t expect to see was William slap James’s hand, knocking the vape pen out of it before he could turn it on.
“Oh fuck. What are you guys doing?” Jackson intervened.
James took a deep breath, as if he was trying to keep his rage under control. “You’re the one who left her here,” he repeated. But this time he looked Will straight in the eyes. They seemed to be speaking some sort of language between themselves that I couldn’t understand.
“What if something happened to her?”
James laughed derisively, and gave him an affectionate nudge on the cheek. “Hey, Romeo here can’t think with his brain anymore.”
But William was clearly too anxious to reason with him. He came within an inch of James’s face, lifted his arm, and looked like he was on the verge of punching him. When James overpowered him with his body weight, I feared for Will’s safety.
“Come on, hit me. You’ve been dying to do it, right?” James challenged him.
Their eyes blazed with violence until Jackson intervened.
“Will, it’s not worth it.”
“Tell Snow White why you disappeared. Go on, spit it out.” James said this like a tiger waiting to pounce.
“James, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Jackson demanded before grabbing his shoulders and pulling him aside.
I looked up from the dusty ground to meet William’s dazed expression. Sure, he was still irate, but he also seemed extremely confused.
“Why’d you disappear, Will? I mean, you left me here, and I—”
I couldn’t articulate a single sentence. He struggled to look at me.
I felt that sensation in the pit of my stomach again. That we weren’t right for each other.
“I forgot something at home . . .”
“What was so important that you left me here?” I whispered, feeling depressed.
“Come on, let’s talk. Alone.” Will took my hand, but I couldn’t help but hear James’s voice.
“You shouldn’t’ve brought her, Will. You screwed up big-time.”
William didn’t turn around. He led me to a peeling wall and slumped against it.
“Why does he talk to you like that?” I asked quietly, sitting down next to him.
“James is right, I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
I stared in front of me, waiting for him to explain. But he didn’t.
“Just tell me this. What are you doing here? I won’t ask you anything else.”
William didn’t put up a fight. “We’re here because of Ethan Austin.” He pointed out the small group of guys around the red-bearded guy. “Ethan is the owner’s son. He and his family organize events and . . . they blackmail James.”
“Why?”
“I can’t tell you. They did him a big favor. Maybe more than one. That’s it.”
I turned around to look at William. He looked extremely uneasy.
“Do you mean he’s forced to do it?”
“He’s forced to participate. They place a bet on him, and he has to win.”
“Has to?” I repeated.
“Yeah.”
“Why are you here? You’re not participating, right?” The way I said it, it almost sounded like a prayer.
William wasn’t the type.
“It’s another story for me, June. It’s a choice.” There was no hesitation in his voice, and that terrified me.
“How could that be a choice? I don’t get it,” I whispered.
“June, I need them.”
“None of this makes any sense.” I was too upset, so I repeated the phrase out loud without any tact.
“It does to me. You said I could open up to you, why are you acting like this?” William’s murmur pierced me. I felt so guilty.
He was right; I was ready to judge him without even understanding everything that was behind all of it.
He lowered his eyes, and I buried myself in his shoulder. I saw him take a deep breath.
“How are you feeling, Will?” I was concerned.
“Sometimes all this makes me feel alive, and other times . . .” His voice cracked.
I squeezed the hand on his knee, which seemed to make him trust me, because he continued.
“Sometimes I come here to feel the opposite—feeling alive isn’t enough for me anymore.”
I couldn’t breathe. I was frozen.
“Sometimes I can only think about bad things, June. Really bad things. And when I can’t handle them anymore, I just want to—”
“Cooper, your turn.”
There he was in front of us again. The sketchy guy.
William gave me a faint smile and then escorted me to a group taking a break by the barriers near the track.
“Stay here with Jackson, okay? We’ll talk after.”
Still shaken by his confessions, I could only nod. But when he turned around, I started walking away.
“June? Where are you going?” asked Jackson, when he understood that I didn’t have any intention of staying to watch William risk his life. “June! He said you have to stay here!”
“Look at me, Jackson.” I pointed at my face with the tip of my index finger. “Do I look like someone who lets people tell me what to do?”
I turned away. I had already pinpointed James from far away, sitting on the hood of a car making out with a brunet I’d never seen before.
“Hunter?”
He pretended not to hear me.
“Can you please come here for a minute and talk to me?”
His put his hand up the girl’s minidress, making her moan.
He was doing it on purpose. I was grossed out, but not enough to stop.
“You’re such a coward! You put your best friend’s life at risk just for your own interests!” I shouted.
As if they were under a spell, his hands lost interest in the girl’s body, and James jumped off the hood.
“What the fuck did you say, White?” he attacked me.
“I could’ve sworn you didn’t have a girlfriend,” the girl on the hood whined, her dress up her thighs.
“Why are you putting William’s life at risk? You know you’re sick, right?”
He laughed in my face, making me lose my patience. “Where’s this coming from?”
“Maybe you should risk your own life instead of other peoples’, given that you don’t value it!”
James raised an eyebrow and looked like he was about to say something, but he ended up shaking his head. “Get a fucking life and quit bugging me.”
I pushed my hair behind my ear in an attempt to compose myself. I was pretty sure that my face was purple with rage, but I didn’t really care. “Why William? Why didn’t you drag someone else here?”
“Why don’t you ask him since you like him so much, huh? Why the fuck are you following me?” he screamed at me, losing his temper.
“I’m not! Do you think there’s another reason? If I want to know more it’s because I want to help you!”
“You wanna help me, White?” He burst out laughing. “I’ll pull down my boxers to make it easier if you want.”
He put his vape pen between his lips, and pretended to unbutton his pants.
“You disgust me.”
“I do. A lot more than you think. Happy now? Is that enough for you to leave?”
Absolutely not.
“You know how William feels, you know that he has those negative thoughts, and you’re bringing him here? Do you really want him to kill himself? What kind of friend are you?” My words were so blunt that they managed to hit a chink in his armor. James’s gaze darkened.
“I just want to help him.”
“No, you don’t! You need someone to share your bullshit with, and you’re dragging him down with it. With drugs, violence, and now with illegal racing!”
“My god, you’re even worse than I thought, Snow White.”
“Do you really think you can help him like this?” I demanded.
“How should I help him? By leaving him alone with his parents?”
I heard the roar of motors in the distance. I turned around and saw William get into a car that sped off almost immediately. I felt my rage swell unexpectedly fast. Just as quickly I took it out on James. “I hate you. You’re ruining every good thing between us! I wish you didn’t exist.”
I threw a punch at his chest without discouraging him at all.
“Well, it’s the same thing for me, White. You’re ruining a lifelong friendship,” he snarled, an inch away from my face.
“James . . .”
“Stay away from William.”
I tried to keep my eyes open despite his expression being too dark to bear. “Why?”
“Because he’s not right for you. Do you understand, princess?”
“Do you think you can threaten me like you do everyone else?”
“Do you think you’re that brave? You’re just a useless brat who’s never suffered in her life.”
No matter who’d said that, even if that person didn’t mean anything to me, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crushed.
Impulsively, I shoved him and bolted away. I had no idea what to do, but I definitely didn’t want to be there for even a second longer.
“White!”
I heard James’s voice, but I didn’t really care about the crap he was saying.
“Fuck you, don’t ever talk to me again!” I screamed, beside myself.
I walked into the night and only realized that I had no idea where I was after my rage subsided. I was convinced that I was heading toward the exit, but that wasn’t the case. The more I walked, the colder I got.
“Oh, there she is,” muttered a guy I’d never seen before. I glanced furtively to my left and jumped. It was the group that had been with the red-bearded guy.
I picked up my pace and was practically running when he caught up to me and blocked my way.
“Leave me alone,” I protested.
“You’re at my place,” he replied placidly. “My dad owns the whole place. And you know, I have a thing for the young ones.”
“What?”
The group of meatheads behind him let out chuckles and spewed a slew of obscene comments.
“Isn’t she a little young to be working at the club?” one of them said.
“Look how she’s dressed. She looks like a high schooler,” added another. Ethan Austin got close to me, paralyzing me.
“You don’t even have to do an interview. You’re already hired.”
“I bet she’s underage. You can never be too sure,” one of his friends teased.
“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” he growled. I was trapped between his arms.
“Let me go, please!”
“I told you. You’re at my house. And you’re not going anywhere.”