Chapter 38
Jackson
“Are you avoiding me?”
“No, Blaze. Of course not. Why would I?”
My sarcastic tone bothered him. I concentrated on fixing my jacket just so I wouldn’t look at him.
“Jackson.”
He took off his hat, and a lock of hair fell on his forehead.
“Look, don’t you have other friends?” I admonished him.
I was tense. Being near him always made me tense. And I didn’t want the others to see us talking.
“Oh, because you and I are friends?” Blaze raised his eyebrow.
Did he always have to ask me that when I was two drinks in?
“I want to talk to you,” he continued, in a strangely firm voice.
I leaned my elbow on the bar and looked at the whiskey bottle behind the bartender’s head again.
“Then talk instead of giving me shit.”
He glared at me and then jerked his head toward Amelia’s group. “Not here.”
I jumped when Blaze grabbed my arm and dragged me with him. Where’d this initiative come from?
“I see you know the place well,” I taunted.
But I stopped chuckling as soon as I saw him turn the handle on a door with a sign that said restricted. A strong smell of damp filled my nostrils as we entered. I saw unused towels, extra liquor, and unlimited quantities of canned dried fruit.
“I worked here last year, remember, Jax?”
“No.” It was a dry denial, but apparently I wasn’t so convincing because Blaze held back a smile. He was often hurt when I treated him like that, but right now he seemed rather sure of himself.
“You sure about that, Jackson?”
How could I forget it. You were rock-hard when I put my hand down your boxers.
“It doesn’t seem like you put up a fight that time.” I groaned unwillingly.
“Yeah, but you took the initiative.”
“I was drunk, Blaze.”
“Sure, like all the other times you kissed me?”
He always got on my nerves. He insisted on kissing, caressing, and other bullshit like a little girl with her first crush. I couldn’t stand him. Because then he looked at me and managed to make me feel . . . weird.
“James was just thrown into juvie, and I felt alone, what the fuck do you want me to say? That what we did mattered to me at all?”
Blaze didn’t bat an eye. Instead of leaving or giving me his usual puppy eyes, this time he was more steadfast. I glanced at the door. He’d left it ajar. Did he really want to just talk?
Blaze leaned toward me, so I stepped back, bumping into a rickety table. There were trays of glasses piled one on top of the other, which teetered dangerously.
The sound of the glass smashing on the floor startled me, but he didn’t seem to pay attention to the mess we’d just made. Blaze kept staring at me quizzically; maybe my hesitation confused him.
He knew I wasn’t the type to back away. Usually he was the one with his back against the wall, but this time the door stayed open, and I didn’t want anyone to see us.
“So you think we’d be friends?” he prodded, making me lose my patience again.
“Hey, weren’t you gonna tell me something? Get to the point, Blaze.”
Even if he didn’t say it, I already knew what the issue was.
He moved his lips to talk but then held back.
I should have held back too. I couldn’t kiss him. Why did I want to so badly? Damn Blaze.
He grazed his hand on my chest so forcefully that I swallowed.
“Look how reckless we are today.” I tried to diffuse the tension.
“You’re afraid of your friends finding out, aren’t you?”
That was the reason for his newfound swagger.
He felt like he had the upper hand. I held off for as long as I could then grabbed him by the shoulders, and his lips smashed into mine.
It was just a kiss, but every time our tongues intertwined, something exploded.
And I felt his clear, strong desire to deepen it.
“Jackson . . .”
I felt his veins vibrate against my tongue as I licked his neck.
“Fucking chill. I’m not doing anything to you,” I growled, greedily sucking on little bits of his flesh as I pushed my metal piercing onto his hot skin, causing him to let out moans of pleasure.
“Jax, I don’t want to do this. I just wanna talk.” He sighed, aroused.
“Talk if you can.”
I sank my hands into the fabric of his sweater to grab him and pull his body against mine, and felt a tremor as I heard his chest crash into mine.
“You’re being a dick like always,” he murmured when I bit his lips. I tried to look into his eyes, but they looked elsewhere. He was trying to resist me.
“No, I’m not.”
I was just doing what I felt like doing; why’d he always have to talk?
I brushed my hand over his chest, which rose and fell like crazy when it felt my eager touch. I didn’t wonder why I did it. He made my brain malfunction. I certainly didn’t have feelings for him.
So why’d I feel so guilty for what we’d done to his dad?
With his lips still throbbing and his eyes narrowed, he pulled away from me. He looked uncertain.
“What the hell happened with my dad?”
I tensed up. Fuck, he knew.
“What are you talking about, Blaze?”
I had to be very careful choosing my words.
“What did he want to talk to you about that day when we were in the hallway?”
“Some bullshit about academic performance . . . credits,” I muttered.
“Look, I’m not stupid. Hunter made that loud and clear.”
I stared at him without answering, as he gazed at me with a hard look that didn’t suit him.
“You’re the ones who beat him up like that.”
I was a terrible liar, so I kept my mouth shut.
“Jax, I trusted you.”
Shit.
If only things weren’t so complicated. I was sure Blaze would’ve understood. Suddenly I saw his forehead slacken and his eyes tear.
“Can you tell me why you did it?”
How could he be so sweet and understanding even in situations like this? This was why I couldn’t resist him.
“I can’t, I don’t think you’d understand.” My voice faltered.
“Try me.”
The space between us was almost nonexistent.
I felt his heart race dizzily as my chest and his collided.
He wanted to talk, and there was probably a lot to talk about, but right then I wanted to kiss him again.
And clearly he was having trouble thinking; otherwise he wouldn’t have kissed me back like that, urging me to stick my tongue deeper into his mouth.
“Shh.”
“What is it?” he asked under his breath, running his fingers through his hair.
“It’s James,” I whispered, putting my finger to my lips. I knew from his footsteps. And Blaze recognized him, too, when we heard him talking behind the door, because he glanced at me listlessly, almost disappointed.
“He’ll always come first, won’t he?”
“Shut your mouth.” I trapped him against the wall with both hands. He grabbed my jacket and pulled me toward him. “Can’t get enough of me,” I prodded, as he pulled on my piercing with his teeth. We started kissing slowly but my ears were perked up. A girl’s hesitant voice mingled with James’s.
“Tay would never admit it, but she’s really got it bad for you.” It was Tiffany.
“Don’t spew bullshit, Tiff.”
“She loves you, James.”
“She said she wants me dead. You must have a comprehension issue, Tiffany.” James’s gruff voice got more distant and subdued. It didn’t seem like he wanted to listen to her.
“Quit acting like a kid, Jamie. She’d do anything for you, in fact she already has. And you know it.”
“I know, but I need time, and she stresses me out every day with the fucking past.”
“She does it because if her dad found out, he’d go ballistic. He could even press charges! You don’t have much time,” Tiffany threatened.
“They didn’t want to give it back to me.”
Blaze immediately pulled his lips from mine and looked at me. His eyes were tinged with suspicion.
Oh no.
I came close to him again, but this time he was the one to motion for me to be quiet. “Are you doing what they ask you to, Jamie?” Tiffany piled it on. I didn’t hear the answer because there was too much background noise.
“Come to my place after,” I heard her whisper.
“You’re morally bankrupt.”
“You’re hardly a saint. We slept together the whole summer while she was on vacation with her parents, did you forget that?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Is it because of Marvin’s cousin? You can’t resist adding another trophy to your collection, can you?”
“Are you acting like this because I told you no, Tiff?”
“I’m acting like this because I thought we were friends. I didn’t want to tell you this to go . . . Oh, forget it. You’ll never change.”
First footsteps, then the sound of heels started to move away. Blaze looked at me, worried.
“What was that all about?”
“Eh. James slept with Taylor and her best friend. What else is new.”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t understand me, Jax. What were they talking about before?”
I looked around, trying to hide the icy feeling permeating my bones. How was I supposed to tell him?
“Nothing, the usual. James is tangled up with some shady people.”
I couldn’t tell him any more.
“What’s Taylor’s family have to do with it? Does my dad have something to do with all this?”
I took a deep breath and started wandering around the closet. “I’d never betray James, if that’s what you’re asking me.”
“Of course not. I’m not asking you to. But the question is, are you doing it because he’s your best friend or because you’re in love with him?”
My eyes were glued to the shelves as if the writing on the coffee packaging was much more interesting than it was. “No, it’s not because of that. He’s my best friend, and he’d never betray me.”
“Jackson, I appreciate your loyalty, but you seem a little concerned for someone who’s just a friend.”
“Blaze,” I called when I noticed he’d turned his back to me.
“What is it?”
“I want to be able to tell you everything, really I do, but I can’t,” I murmured, leaning on a shelf.
Blaze turned around to look at me the only way he could: compassionately, sweetly, and like he really got me.
“Do you really want to know how things are between me and James?”
He nodded.
“We’re friends. I just want to protect him, but now it’s too late. James is up to his neck in trouble.”