Chapter 15 #2
She had never been one to seek moments of reckless abandon—at least not like this.
She had done plenty of naughty things with Charlotte in their days at Havenwood, but nothing so scandalous as what she was now prepared to do.
Jaclyn wanted Kingston. If she never had anything else in her life, this was one thing she wanted to carry her through the rest of her days.
She wanted to know what it was like to be with him fully, and now, with him so near, with every nerve in her body thrumming in anticipation, she could think of nothing else.
Her heart pounded like the drumbeat of some forbidden desire that she knew she should turn away from yet could not.
“Love me, Kingston,” she demanded. “Love me as if there was no scandal in our past and our future was ours to seize if we were only brave enough to reach for it.”
Kingston leaned closer, his breath mingling with hers, and she could feel his hesitation, his restraint.
“I shouldn’t do anything of the sort.” His voice was hoarse with his pent-up desire.
The desire she wanted him to give into. She could see the struggle in his eyes—the battle between what he desired and the honor that bound him.
She had already made up her mind, though.
She wanted to forget. Forget the looming shadows of scandal, her tattered reputation, and the heavy weight of her family's expectations.
Just for tonight, she wanted to be seen by him, truly seen, and not as the woman burdened by things she wished to forget.
This night she wanted them to just let it all go and embrace this need between them.
"Stay with me," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the crackling fire. Her hands, trembling, reached out to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath his fine linen shirt. She could sense the tension in his muscles, the way he held himself back—hesitant, as if he feared she would ask for more than he could give. But that wasn’t what she wanted, not really. She only wanted him in this moment, with no tomorrow, no aftereffects to worry about. She wanted to be reckless, to be wild with him, to surrender in a way she had never dared before. “Stay here tonight. Give this to me, please.” She was not above begging him. “I want you to love me,” she said again—hoping this time he would heed to her wishes. Her voice was husky and low as she added, “Love me scandalously and in every way possible. Let me forget everything, even if it’s only for tonight. Let me have you, Kingston, and I promise it will be enough.”
Her words hung in the air between them, heavy with longing.
She wanted him to say the words she feared would never come—I love you—but deep down, she knew they could never be spoken.
He could never love her the way she loved him, not after everything that had happened.
But tonight... Tonight she would make him hers in every sense.
Even if it was just for a fleeting moment.
One that would keep her warm on the cold nights in her future. It would have to be enough.
Kingston placed his hand on her cheek, his fingers brushing against her skin with a tenderness that sent shivers down her spine.
His touch was gentle, yet there was a yearning beneath it—one that mirrored her own.
She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his hand on her, the way he caressed her as if trying to memorize every inch of her face.
“I’m not the man you think I am, Jaclyn,” he murmured, his voice strained. “I am not so honorable that I…”
She silenced him with the press of her lips to his.
Jaclyn didn’t want to hear any of that now.
She didn’t want to hear about his past, his hesitations, or his struggles.
She wanted him to forget, just as she did.
She wanted him to forget who they had been, forget their troubles, and simply give in to the fire between them.
She leaned back and met his gaze. “I don’t care about that,” she said, pressing her lips to his once more in a brief kiss. “Not tonight. Just be with me.”
And with that, the world outside the lodge ceased to matter.
The path ahead of them—fraught with complications, with judgment, with the ever-present specter of what society would say—vanished.
All that mattered now was the softness of his lips, the warmth of his body, and the sound of their breathing in perfect sync.
She let herself get lost in Kingston’s kiss—lost in the thrill of his touch, the way she fit perfectly against him as if she had always belonged there.
Everything seemed to evaporate in the haze of the moment, leaving nothing but their shared desire, the rawness of their emotions, and the undeniable chemistry that had always existed between them.
Kingston stilled and rested his hand on her cheek and then slid it down to her neck.
He brushed his thumb slowly over her chin.
She marveled at how much it enhanced her desire and how much she needed this connection with him.
But the reality of their situation loomed like a shadow in the back of her mind.
She wanted him. Had wanted him since their first meeting—and this stolen time together could be perceived as reckless.
But she could not make herself care about that now.
Not when she was in his arms and he was kissing her as she had always imagined.
She pulled back from him slightly, her eyes still closed, but her lips curved into a soft, knowing smile. “Say yes, Kingston,” she said quietly. She opened her eyes to meet his gaze. To show him the desire that flowed through her. “Say you will be with me.”
“I shouldn’t…” he admitted, his voice low. “We both know it, and yet I am considering it.” This time he closed his eyes and seemed to consider their situation. She prayed he gave in and made her his. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I am such a fool.”
His eyes fluttered open and this time she cupped his cheek. “If you’re a fool, then so am I,” she said softly. “I want to be with you, despite everything. Even if it’s complicated, even if it’s messy. Stop fighting this. Stop trying to be noble. I don’t need that from you.”
He stared at her for a long moment, the words hanging between them like a fragile thread.
She had wanted him for so long. She was tired of fighting the feelings she had for him.
She was tired of fighting everything. She prayed he was ready to give in as well.
In that moment, all the years of regret, of heartache, and scandal—it all faded away.
He pulled her closer to him, his hands trembling as they moved to her waist, pulling her into the warmth of his chest. “All right, darling. You don’t wish for me to be noble, then by all means let me show you my wicked side. ”
She grinned. This was what she wanted. She slid her hand down his chest and met his gaze boldly. “Do your worst, Your Grace,” she dared him and then winked. “I am more than ready to have everything with you.”
He placed his fingers against his lips, silencing her.
“No more talking,” he replied huskily, his voice filled with quiet determination.
“I have much more important things in mind for that lovely mouth of yours. Starting with this.” He kissed her then, slow and deep, a kiss that spoke of everything that couldn’t be put into words.
As they kissed, the world outside the lodge seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that moment, bound together by something stronger than fear or doubt.
Jaclyn was thrilled. For tonight, she had him.
And for one brief, fleeting moment, it was enough.
They had not spoken of love or a future together.
Those were problems for another day. She was much more interested in the present and what he made her feel.
The emotions rolling through her and the desire that threaded her soul.
This man—he could undo her with just a look.
But his touch… His touch melted her and made her nothing but a mess of need.