Chapter 17 #2
With steady hands, he adjusted the saddlebags on the horses, his mind drifting back to the events that had led him here—back to Easton Abbey, back to her.
He could feel the pressure of the decisions that had to be made weighing on him again.
There were still questions he had yet to answer, truths left unspoken between them, and unfinished business with Oakley.
But those concerns could wait just a little longer.
For once, he wanted to escape from the labyrinth of duty and expectations.
He needed this brief moment of clarity before they had to return to the complications of their world.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Jaclyn’s soft footsteps approaching, and he looked up, catching the brief flicker of uncertainty in her gaze as she walked toward him.
Despite the urgency of the moment, she was as poised and graceful as ever, the calm assurance in her stride reminding him of why he loved her.
"I’m ready," she said softly, her voice carrying a hint of determination that matched his own.
Kingston nodded, walking over to her, his heart thundering in his chest. As he took her hand in his once more, a shiver ran through him—a mixture of anticipation and relief.
"Then let us leave," he said, his voice low, though there was no mistaking the resolve in it.
"Let’s leave all of this behind, if only for a while.
It will all be all right," he told her. “Just trust me.”
“With my life.” She nodded in agreement, her eyes softening. There was a deep knowing between them, a quiet promise that their journey together would not be without its challenges, but they would face them united.
He helped her mount her horse and then quickly did the same with his own.
Then they began their ride away from the lodge.
Kingston couldn’t help but feel a fleeting sense of hope for the future.
This was not an easy road they were on, but he did not detour from his goal.
She was his everything and for her he would endure anything.
They rode in silence for a while, the only sound the rhythmic clip-clop of the horses’ hooves and the occasional rustling of the wind through the trees.
It was a peaceful kind of silence. It wasn’t long before they reached the edge of the estate, and Kingston glanced at Jaclyn, noting the serene expression on her face as she looked ahead.
It was bathed in the shadows of darkness.
Shadows he would use to their advantage.
"We are not far from the road," he said, breaking the silence. "And once we are on it, we can go anywhere."
Jaclyn smiled, though there was a trace of sadness in her eyes. "Anywhere, indeed. But I somehow believe you have a destination in mind."
He nodded, understanding her meaning. "Indeed, I do. Do you still trust me?"
“Always,” she told him.
He grinned. Lord, did he love this woman… “Then stay with me, love, and when we get there…” He flashed her a wicked grin. “We can start all over again while I love you even more scandalously than the time before.”
Her cheeks flushed a bit pink in the moonlight, and he ached to pull her into his arms again.
He did not give into that urge. Now was not the time.
This was just the beginning, but for the first time in a long time, Kingston felt that they were heading toward something better—toward a future he had once feared to hope for.
With Jaclyn, he could have everything. And for the first time, it felt as though everything was finally within his grasp.
Jaclyn’s mind raced with the questions she couldn’t yet bring herself to voice.
Her body still hummed with the memory of their passionate union, the lingering warmth of his touch a constant reminder of what they had shared.
As she rode beside him, the rhythmic motion of the horse beneath her only deepened the ache inside her—a tender, beautiful reminder of their lovemaking, of what had been.
Jaclyn was pleasantly sore from their lovemaking.
He had promised to make love to her again.
Would it indeed be even more scandalous?
She did not see how it could possibly be more than it had been that first time, but she was also woefully ignorant regarding such matters.
She would have to trust him. Not that that was a difficult task to achieve.
Where had he planned for them to go? He had not shared with her what their final destination would be, but he definitely had one in mind.
They had been riding for a couple of hours now and the sun had started to rise on the horizon.
There were so many possibilities to the day or days ahead of them and the sunrise seemed to highlight them all.
He had not made her any true promises, and she had not asked for such.
Would this be all that they had between them?
Were they only destined to be lovers but nothing more to each other?
She loved the blasted man and if that was all she could have of him…
sadly, she would take it. She could not imagine never having him in her life.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.
He sat tall in the saddle, the morning light casting shadows across his sharp features, his face unreadable, as it often was.
How she longed to read him—to understand what he was thinking, whether he felt even a fraction of the depth of her feelings for him.
But she couldn’t ask him. Not yet. The walls he built around himself were thick, and she didn’t wish to be the one to tear them down.
But she didn’t know how much longer she could endure the silence, the distance between them, when every part of her screamed to be closer.
The thought of him—the thought of them—stirred something inside her.
Was this all they would ever be? Lovers with no future?
She would never admit it aloud, but the question gnawed at her.
She couldn’t bear to be just a fleeting affair.
She wanted more. But what could she expect from a man like him?
She wasn’t naive enough to believe that someone like him would ever settle for a woman like her.
And yet, her heart—stubborn and foolish—whispered of possibilities.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, his deep voice breaking through the quiet of the morning. Jaclyn’s heart skipped a beat, her thoughts momentarily scattered by the sound of his voice.
“Nothing special…” she said, turning to him, her brow furrowing. “Is something on your mind?” She could never speak aloud the fears in her heart. At least, not yet. Now was not the time.
He gave her a slow smile, one that made her pulse quicken despite herself.
“Only you, love.” His eyes held hers, and something in them made her stomach flutter.
“I have only been thinking about you.” They had that in common.
Thoughts of him flooded her mind so much she did not have room for anything else.
Her pulse quickened, her heart beat louder in her chest. “Oh?” she asked her voice a little squeaky.
Her curiosity was mixed with a hint of nervousness.
She knew where her thoughts were headed but, as usual, he was a complete mystery to her.
She wasn’t certain she was ready for whatever he had in mind, but she trusted him—God help her, she trusted him.
“I promise that they are not all lascivious,” he replied with a cryptic smile and then the blasted man winked at her. “I am not that much of a cad.” He flicked his gaze at her briefly. “But it occurred to me that you never questioned where we are going. Does it not matter to you?”
“Not particularly,” she admitted. “I trust you.” It was as simple as that.
He sighed. “I am glad you do, but please tell me you are not always so trusting of others.”
She shook her head. “Only with those who have earned it,” Jaclyn reassured him. Where was this all leading?
“That is reassuring,” he told her. “When we reach the village, promise me that you will not leave my side. There are things we need to do when we arrive, and I want to ensure it is all done quickly and without incident.”
She frowned. “What do we need to do?” He had not told her of any of their plans.
He had not told her much of anything really.
She had gone with him willingly and did not regret that.
But now her curiosity was getting the best of her.
He did not say a word. Did he think she would make a fuss about whatever it was he needed to do?
“Kingston?” she said his name softly, though she had a feeling she knew the answer.
What he wasn’t saying. Did he plan on leaving her in that village alone?
Was that where they would part? Her heart hurt at that possibility.
“I will explain it all later…” he told her quietly. His voice low and rich with that intensity she had come to crave. “We have much to discuss.”
Jaclyn swallowed, trying to steady herself. “Yes, we do,” she agreed, her voice barely a whisper. “Are you going to leave me?”
His gaze snapped to hers. “Never,” he vowed. There was an intensity in his gaze that seared her to her very soul. It was far too vehement to be nothing but the truth. “I will never leave you,” he repeated.
“Then why can’t we speak now?” she asked. The question slipped from her lips before she could stop it. “I trust you, I do,” she told him. “But it would ease me some to have some of the details.”
His expression softened, and for a moment, the hard edges of his demeanor seemed to melt away.
“You do deserve to know it all,” he told her.
“But for now I can give you one thing. We are not going to the village where your dear friend Charlotte eloped with Easton. That is likely where we would find your brother.”
“I did not consider that an option…” Why would he mention that? “And I honestly do not know what village they eloped in.”
He grinned. “The one closest to Easton Abbey, of course.” As if that explained everything… “But we are not going there, so it doesn’t matter.”
She sighed. Why did he have to be so cryptic? “And I cannot know what village we are going to?”
“Of course, you can,” he told her but did not elaborate.
Jaclyn felt a tight knot of frustration settle in her chest. She hated the uncertainty, the constant barrage of half-answers.
Yet, there was something in the way he looked at her—some quiet promise in his eyes—that kept her tethered to him despite the turmoil inside her.
She had to take a deep breath, trying to calm the growing unease within.
The truth was, she trusted him, even if every instinct screamed that there was more at play than he was telling her.
She wanted to believe in him, to believe in the idea of them, but the lack of answers, the half-told explanations, were starting to wear on her.
“Why won’t you tell me everything?” she asked again, more quietly this time, her voice thick with the weight of all the questions that were still left unspoken.
He regarded her with an unreadable expression, a flicker of something crossing his features.
Regret? Guilt? She couldn't be sure. “Jaclyn…” he began, his tone softer now, his words more deliberate. “Some things, at this moment, are better left unsaid.” He paused, his gaze drifting toward the road for a moment as if searching for the right words, or perhaps, for the right time. “The fewer you know right now, the safer you’ll be.”
Her brow furrowed. “You think I’m safer not knowing?”
“Not all truths are easy to bear,” he replied, his voice gentle yet firm. “But I promise you, once this is over, you will know everything.”
She could see the resolve in his eyes. He really had no intention of telling her anything about the village they were heading to and what they needed to do once they were there. What could possibly be so important and why was he being so blasted secretive?
“But I need to know something,” Jaclyn said, her voice breaking slightly, as if the very words she was about to speak could tear open a wound she was not ready to face. “Do you care for me? I mean truly, deeply… care for me?”
His eyes softened, and for a brief moment, his hardened exterior cracked. “I care for you more than I’ve cared for anything in my life,” he confessed, his voice low and raw with emotion. “You are everything to me, Jaclyn. Everything.”
She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, her chest tightening. “Then tell me why you’re keeping these secrets. Why won’t you tell me where we are going?”
“Because I cannot tell you yet,” he said quietly, his gaze unwavering. “Please trust me.”
She wanted to argue, to push back, but the intensity in his gaze held her in place.
She had to let him have his space. But that didn’t mean she was willing to stay silent forever.
She sat in her saddle, frozen for a long moment, before finally managing to speak.
“I trust you,” she whispered. “But I am also not going to stop asking you to tell me everything. Trust only goes so far.”
He nodded slowly, as if he had expected no less. “Soon, Jaclyn. Soon you will know it all.”
With that, they fell into a heavy silence, the weight of unspoken words lingering between them.
And though they both knew that the future was uncertain, Jaclyn couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever came next, they would have to face it—together, or not at all.
She had not lied. Trust would only take them so far, and without it there could never truly be anything between them.