8. Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Matt
R iley was already out of her car, arms full of the food she had picked up when I parked next to her at a pull-over spot on the mountain. We rested against the hood of my car as she passed me my food and then pulled out her own.
I took a bite of my burger, chewing slowly as I took in the view. We made it just in time to catch the sun just starting to dip below the horizon sending watercolor swirls of orange and pink up the sky. I shifted to take in her profile as she took in the view. Her hair had mostly fallen out of the clip she had it twisted into. Frizzy curls stuck to the sides of her face and neck. Her skin glowed in the fading golden light.
“It’s beautiful,” she said.
Her face turned to me “You’re beautiful,” the words slipped from my mouth on accident, my face heated as I blushed.
“I bet you use that line on all the ladies.” It was the second time today she had responded with that sentence.
We ate in silence for a few minutes. I continued to struggle to find the right words to say to her. She kept saying things like that, like she couldn’t believe anything I said to her. It was just little things peppered here and there throughout our conversations today brushing off any complements. I wondered if she kept forgetting what I had told her, or maybe she hadn’t heard me. There hadn’t been anyone since my ex. There had only ever been my ex.
I finished my burger and tossed the wrapper in the paper bag, shifting closer to her. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s just you?” I caught a loose strand of her hair that fluttered in the light summertime breeze and tucked it behind her ear. I took my time brushing my fingers down the strand of hair and then coiled it around my fingers. Her bottom lip was swollen and red from all the times she had bitten it through the day. Her cheeks were red from heat and goosebumps appeared on her neck from the soft breeze blowing.
She had shown up for our date with her guard up in every way. She’d been beautiful enough to take my breath away outside the coffee shop, but now with her guard lowered enough to be a little messy she was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.
I could lean in and kiss her right now.
I dropped my hand away from her, picking up my fries to keep my hands busy and shuffling to the side to put some space between us. I shoved a handful into my mouth.
“I don’t think any first date could ever beat this.” Riley said after finishing her own burger, her voice almost a whisper. “I think you’ve ruined me for all future first dates.”
I choked on the fries, coughing and sputtering as I scrambled for my cup. I held a hand up to stop her as she leaned in close to me. Casual, this was supposed to be casual.
A few days of talking, a full day spent together, and I was already falling for her. Being around her was easy, like I was meant to always be around her. I had spent all day reminding myself that we were on a countdown, that we had a deadline. That deadline was rapidly approaching.
We sat in silence for a few minutes staring at the sky while I chugged half my sweet tea, willing my thoughts to slow down. I wanted another day like this with her. I wanted to ruin second, third, and more dates for her. I wanted to ask for her number. I wanted to know where she was from, I had glanced at her tag long enough to know she was from Georgia but wouldn’t let myself look at the county name. She had slipped up and told me that home was a three-hour drive away narrowing down what part of the state she was from without meaning to.
Next week I would be back in Georgia, all my loose ends in Kentucky tied up. My hometown was only a three-hour drive from here too. Sure, even just north Georgia was a big area and three hours away could work for a large portion of that area. There could still be an hour or two drive between us.
Or there was the chance that home was the same place for both of us.
No, don’t be dumb, Matt. I’m not that lucky. Meeting her here this week felt like I was already testing the bounds of my luck.
“While I appreciate your honesty, I’m going to have to ask you to refrain from saying anything like that again,” I finally breathed out.
She poked my side and asked in a flirty tone, “Why?”
“I don’t think I can answer that without scaring you away.” The words flew out before I could stop them.
Her face tensed and she turned back toward the setting sun. Did she know how close I was to asking her to break her rules? How much I wanted her to prod until I couldn’t stop myself from telling her that I didn’t want this to end with tonight?
She scooted closer to me. The sun was almost gone now with just a few slivers of pink reaching up from the horizon. She laid her head on my shoulder as we both rested there against my car watching as those last slivers disappeared.
Darkness fully took over the sky and the first pin pricks of stars started to sparkle. We shifted at the same time, her face tilting up toward mine as I tilted mine down toward her, the same position as the photo her sister had snapped of us. I leaned back as much as I could to put some space between our mouths while still keeping her against me.
She swiped the back of her hand across her mouth. “Please don’t tell me I have something on my face.”
I shook my head and fought back a smile. A lump formed in my throat as I let the words I had been holding back tumble out. “I really want to kiss you. Is it okay if I kiss you?” I twisted one of her loose curls around my finger.
“Well, the thing is,” she started, pausing to bite her lip. “I usually don’t kiss someone until they confess their undying love to me.” She forced a smile, the corners of her mouth twitching like she was fighting against a frown. For the first time today, she looked worried.
“If that’s the case –”
“No, don’t you dare.” She cut me off and lifted my wrist to look at my watch. She held it up to my face. “We’ve known each other a whole nine hours.”
“Are we really still counting hours? If you want to be technical about it, we've known each other for four days.”
“But only nine of those have been in person.”
“As I was saying,” I tried again.
“No, no, no,” she waved her hands in my face, the one still holding my wrist made my hand flop around.
I laughed, twisting my hand until it was wrapped around her wrist instead. “Would you please let me finish what I was trying to say?”
“I am not about to let you say you’re in love with me already. This is a one-time thing, remember?” Panic flashed through her eyes, the pulse in her wrist raced against my fingers.
“Well, I hate to let you down, but I was going to say I’m not in love with you yet. I am, however, really enjoying my time with you and I like you a lot.” My pulse raced with hers, but her hand relaxed in mine. Her shoulders dropped and the tension melted from her face.
She snorted. “Like me? What are we fifteen?”
“I wasn’t the one almost stomping my foot a moment ago,” I reminded her with a laugh. “Not too long ago you had me running from your family like we were teenagers sneaking around.” The tension in the air broke at the reminder. She ducked her face and laughed.
“I think I can make an exception to my rule,” she finally managed to say between laughs.
“I think I’m going to need you to tell me exactly what you mean,” I said as my own laughter died in my throat. I released her hands, laying them to rest on her lap. I pulled my hands away, the feel of her soft skin too much as I tried to listen to her.
“I mean, I want you to kiss me.”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. I don’t normally kiss on the first date.” I brushed a finger against her chin, lifting her eyes to meet mine. Her breath fluttered, her eyes dropping to my mouth.
“I don’t think this qualifies as a first date anymore. We’re nine hours in and at location number three. At this point it has to count as at least the second,” she whispered.
“Hmm, is that how it works?” I pressed a finger against her chin, directing her eyes back up to mine. I could see thoughts whirling behind her eyes. While there was an undeniable connection between us, I didn’t know her well enough to know what they were. I wasn’t kissing her tonight without being sure it was what she wanted.
“We’re making our own rules here. By that logic, yes, that’s how it works.” Her voice shook as she spoke.
“Should we take a vote on that?”
She closed her eyes and squeezed her fists in her lap. Her eyes popped open and shifted between my eyes and mouth a few times. “You’re driving me crazy, Matt. Are you really going to make me beg?” She shifted forward so her lips hovered close enough to mine that her hot breath tickled my lips.
“As much as you would love to hear you beg, maybe we should save that for another time.” I closed the small space until our lips almost brushed against each other as I spoke, but didn’t kiss her.
“There won’t be another time,” she reminded me, making my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.
“If this is our only chance, I guess we better make it the best first kiss in history.” Panic flashed in her eyes before they fluttered closed to hide it. I couldn’t do this knowing she was so unsure. I shifted to press a kiss against her forehead. “I can’t just kiss you. I want more. I wish we had more time.” I took a deep breath to gather the courage to pull back to study her face. Her eyes snapped open, a range of emotions rushing across her face while she studied me back.
Her eyes softened. For the first time today, I knew without a doubt that she wanted the same thing I did. She cupped my cheek in her hand and ran her thumb over my bottom lip. “We have all night. You can do whatever you want.” Her face blazed red, radiating heat that I could feel against my own skin.
I shook my head, realizing she thought I was talking about sex, not a relationship. “If we do-” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I thought about her words. A casual date with her was already hard enough, I could feel my heart breaking already at the thought of the night ending. But sex was something else entirely. I had only ever been with my ex, and based on what she had told me I would venture to guess it was the same for her. Neither one of us were the type that could handle casual sex. “I can’t keep my promise to you. I don’t think I would be able to let you go.”
“I wish you could keep me.” She stepped out of my arms.
“I could if you’ll let me.” I pulled her back in and pressed another kiss to her forehead. “Please, let me keep you.” We wanted the same thing. There was no point in fighting whatever was between us. We should talk about it, figure out a way that we could fit into each other’s lives.
She shook her head while she took a few shaky steps away from me. Her arm brushed against the food bag sending it tumbling to the ground as she retreated away from me. “If I let you keep me one day you’ll wake up and realize it was a mistake. It’s better this way.” Tears gathered in her eyes and one hand clutched her chest. “I don’t think I would survive getting my heart broken by you.”
Tears spilled down her face as she backed away from me toward her car. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “This was a mistake.”
My face dropped as my own vision started to blur as her car rocketed away from me. My mind raced with my heart as I repeated our conversation over and over again trying to figure out where I went wrong.