Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
CHARLOTTE (NOW)
By afternoon, Will and I have loaded the dingy mattress and the rest of the junk from the house into his truck bed, then cleaned the upstairs.
Wren, Denny, and Henry took care of all the barn chores and even though I told them they’d done enough, they made a plan with Gus to help feed and muck stalls on their afternoons off this week. Denny even coaxed a farrier he trusts to come by when he’ll be here.
Sofie and Linnea showed up at lunchtime with sandwiches for everyone and pitched in getting the yard cleaned up and fixing the gate, and Barb cleaned the entire main level of the house.
Will split off to fix the loose boards in the porch steps and put in a new railing while keeping Ollie entertained with endless games of fetch.
I tackle scraping off the rest of the torn wallpaper on the stairs and measuring the windows for new blinds.
Accepting my friends’ help was harder than I thought. Maybe because I feel guilty. I haven’t been the best at keeping in touch. I just thought it would be better for everyone if they forgot about me.
But they came. And I feel…full…but lighter. The weight on my shou lders a little more bearable. And I feel warm inside, even though I’m exhausted from such a full day.
I need to find a way to thank all of them, but everything I think up feels lame.
“How’s that toothache?” Wren asks as we’re carrying the last of the old stable pads to William’s truck.
“Better,” I lie.
She and William exchange a glance.
Linnea hands me a cell phone. “I found it below the bedroom window.”
I slide my thumb up the screen. It’s a picture of Theo, Morgan and me at Lookout Pass, the wind in our hair.
It was taken the day of Mo’s high school graduation.
She’s decked out in her cap and gown, her dark hair in soft curls and her eyes so bright.
Even after the year I’d endured grappling with what had happened, in that moment, I was happy because Morgan had accomplished something so big, and we were together.
Dad snapped pictures of us, joking with us to “take another step back,” making us laugh.
“Thanks,” I tell Linnea through an unexpected lump in my throat. Two months after that photo, I was on the receiving end of Morgan’s distress call while hurrying to my car so I could get to her. So I could provide her the support I didn’t have.
On the drive back to William’s, the cool breeze coming in our open windows blends with the soft music from the radio, filling the silence that stretches between us. I’m grateful, because if I start talking, I don’t trust myself to hold it together.
Back at the house, William offers to shower upstairs so we can both get ready for dinner at Zach’s.
I stay too long under the hot water, my churning thoughts refusing to settle.
Then I stare at my clothes, hating all my choices.
Everything is drab. Even though the memory is so old and so stupid, Tori Crenshaw’s favorite insult rattles through my mind. Grubby little band geek .
Did I purposefully leave behind clothes that make me feel good about myself ?
I brought a dark jeans skirt with embroidered flowers at the hem, thinking I might like something nice to wear if Wren and I went out together. Wearing it tonight feels like a step in the wrong direction.
I decide on my vintage olive green V-neck sweater.
It’s too serious-looking but it’s soft and goes okay with jeans.
But when I pull on my only clean pair, the thin fabric across my right knee splits seam to seam.
I groan. Not that I worry ripped jeans would be a big deal tonight, but they pinch when I move.
With a huff, I yank them off and stare at the skirt discarded on the bed. No funny business tonight, you hear me? I tug it on and button it.
When I finally step into the hallway, Theo’s come downstairs. Ollie is passed out on her bed by the woodstove but blinks her eyes open when my clogs tap the floorboards. Then she yawns with a squeak and nods off again.
“How’d it go?” Theo asks from where he’s packing up what looks like fixings for a giant salad into a grocery bag.
I use the reflection in the window at the sink to free a lock of hair that’s tangled in my beaded earring. “Did you hear about all the help? We tackled almost everything on the list.”
“That’s great,” Theo replies just as William comes out of the laundry room behind him with a basket of clothes.
He’s dressed in those Levi’s and a dark blue henley with the sleeves pulled up, giving me an eyeful of his tanned, muscular forearms. His dark lashes look almost wet against his tanned cheeks, framing those dangerous blue eyes.
HIs gaze sweeps up my body then locks on my face, his expression turning tense with an unmistakable look of desire.
Heat prickles my cheeks. Shit. It’s the skirt. I knew it was too much.
“You look nice,” Will says, his tone sincere.
Theo turns to him, his brow furrowing.
“Thanks,” I say, my throat suddenly parched .
“What?” William says to Theo with a shrug that looks anything but casual. “It’s true.”
Theo gives me a scrutinizing glance. “Of course it’s true.”
Okay, this is weird.
To my relief, William slips behind me with his laundry basket.
Theo lifts the grocery bag and heads for the door, but I intercept him for a hug. “I understand why you didn’t come today,” I say as he snakes his free arm around my shoulders and pulls me close.
Mo did a good job of pushing Theo away in those lost years when I was at Cornish and Dad was consumed with work.
She tried to drag him down with her, and to Theo, it felt too close to what he’d endured with Mom.
I don’t blame him for creating firm boundaries, but it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking.
“I should have come anyway,” he says with a heavy sigh.
I kiss his cheek, and he gives me a half smile.
“I’ve gotta drive separate so I can check on a patient after dinner,” he says, heading for the door. “I’ll see you guys there.”
William returns from his room and grabs his coat. “Ready?”
Ollie bolts awake and trots to the door, making both of us smile. Something shifts in the air between us. The layers protecting my heart feel itchy and too tight, like a scab exposed to the sun too long.
I release a slow breath. “Yeah. Do we need to bring anything?”
“I already loaded it in the truck.”
That damn truck. “Oh. Great.”
Will loads up Ollie and still manages to get to my side in time to open my door. When he offers his hand, I steel myself for my body’s reaction before taking it. But the instant we touch, flutters erupt in the center of my chest.
He shuts my door and crosses to his side.
Self-control, activate!
“What’s the story behind this toothache?” he asks once we’re underway.
My mouth opens, but the words jumble together on my tongue. “I might have cracked my molar. ”
“Seriously?” He gives me a cheeky smirk. “One too many bar fights?”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll deal with it when I get back to Seattle.”
An uncomfortable silence stretches between us.
“Any luck on getting Morgan’s instruments back?” he finally asks as he pulls onto Zach and Sofie’s street.
“Not yet. But Zach’s working on it.”
“If anyone can track them down, it’s him.
Maybe they’ll lock up that farrier too.” The familiar neighborhood homes passing by in the fading daylight kicks off more memories from back then.
Football gear and smelly socks. Being crammed into Theo’s truck next to Will while Linnea and Morgan crowded into the jump seats, next stop, the swimming hole.
But more powerful than any of those are the memories of driving myself home after hanging out with William, my head in the clouds and my lips tender from his kisses.
“I hope so.” I comb my fingers through my hair and glance out the window. “For everyone.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, frowning.
Shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. “I got the feeling Gus wouldn’t have hesitated with that shotgun of his.” It’s the truth. It’s just not all of it.
William’s eyes darken, which is all the proof I need.
Zach and Sofie’s driveway is packed with trucks and cars from all the guests already here, so William parks a half a block past it on the street, beneath a giant maple tree.
I jump down before he can get to me. Bags in hand and Ollie trotting ahead, the noise from the gathering ramps up with every step we take toward the house.
It should feel welcoming. Hell, haven’t I longed for this?
Missed this? I love Will’s family. But I’ve pushed them away.
Hasn’t that hurt them? How could they want me here?
More memories flood my heart as we climb the steps.
Only now, they’re layered with signs of Zach and Sofie’s full life.
A pretty welcome wreath on the door. Curren’s shiny blue bike.
A tiny pink watering can next to the pot of pansies on the wide porch.
A pair of sparkly white sandals that must belong to Skye, Jesse’s daughter.
At the door, Will turns the knob, then touches the small of my back. Ollie races inside, but Will waits, like he can feel the hard lump I just swallowed making its way down, down.
Can he also feel me trembling?
“I’m so glad you’re here, Charlotte,” Will says, giving me a soft smile.
My answer comes out breathless. “Me too.”
From deep inside the house comes a burst of laughter. I step through the door and follow the sound to the kitchen, where Sofie, Rowdy, and Linnea are clustered around the granite island.
“Hey, you’re here!” Sofie calls, hurrying toward us, her pretty blue eyes bright.
Rowdy is quick on her heels, pulling William in for a hug while Sofie embraces me.
More guests crowd into the kitchen. Even though I saw many of them at Thunder Mountain earlier today, it feels different in this setting.
I get more hugs than I can keep track of.
Until today, I had only seen most of Will’s family in pictures—single moments frozen in time.
The real thing, chaotic and utterly perfect, makes my heart vibrate inside my chest.
From across the crowded kitchen, my brother’s eyes find mine, and his effortless grin lights up his whole face. When I smile back, my eyes are tight with what I’m trying so hard to hold inside.
I’ve missed so much in my time away, it’s like waking up in a new decade. That same longing throbs deep inside me, even as I try to shut it down. Is it too late to catch up? Too late to feel like I belong again?