Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
“Wow,” Colton says, blinking behind his new glasses as he takes in the rows of bookshelves. Benjamin said Colton used to frequent the library when he was younger, before his mom joined Sons of Eden.
Keo pushes through the library door, dressed in a navy blue corduroy jacket, jeans, and a colorful scarf. I drink her in for an instant before her gaze finds mine. She smiles, and something kicks loose inside my chest. It’s pure, almost sweet.
It’s for sure helping settle my scattered thoughts thanks to yesterday’s events—not just the rescue but the message from Scott about CJ’s drug test.
Colton turns, his face softening when he sees her. “Hi, Miss Keo.”
“Hey, Colton,” Keo replies with a bright smile.
Benjamin slips through the turnstile, and we all follow.
“What books are you interested in?” I ask Colton as Keo comes in next to me, giving me a hit of today’s choice of perfume. It’s fresh, more floral than spice. It makes me want to bury my nose in her neck and drink it in.
I’ll have to make a point of doing just that later.
A circulation desk manned by two librarians takes up the middle of the space, with a row of checkout counters against one wall. Beyond are rows of bookshelves, with study carols hugging the walls on either side.
Benjamin eyes Colton with a curious expression. “Up here is nonfiction and adult fiction, and magazines and stuff like that. Downstairs is picture books, young adult, graphic novels, and the fish tank.”
Colton chews his bottom lip. “Are graphic novels the ones with all the cartoon drawings?”
Benjamin smiles. “Yep. There’s a whole section of ‘em.”
“Can we start there? Maybe come back up here later for volcanoes and wooly mammoths.”
“You got it.” Benjamin leads us to the stairway.
As Keo and I fall in behind them, I reach for her hand. “Hi, sunshine.”
She cocks her head, a shy grin tugging at her lips. “Hi.”
“It’s been ages since I’ve been down here,” I say as we follow Benjamin and Colton past a reading area with bean bag chairs and the giant fish tank.
It’s a school day, so the place is empty except for a mom and a young boy back in the picture book section and a tween girl on one of the bean bag chairs, engrossed in a graphic novel with a stack of more of them next to her.
Keo gives the space an appreciative scan. “My kids loved the library too. This is nice. Cozy.”
A silver-haired librarian wearing a bug antennae headband peeks out from one of the shelves, a rolling book cart at her side. “Let me know if I can help you find anything.”
Colton chews his lip again, but Benjamin offers him a reassuring smile. “You can read anything you want. We can even get you a library card if you want to take any of the books back with you.”
Colton glances at the shelves, a soft yearning in his expression. “Really? They’d…let me do that?”
Benjamin’s serious eyes warm. “Yep. Really.”
“What kind of books do you like?” I ask Colton, stepping into the first aisle and scanning the spines.
His eyes light up but his hands are limp at his sides, like he’s afraid to explore. So I pull one out and flip through it, dragons and castles flashing. “Fantasy?”
He gives a little huff of surprise. “Maybe.”
Keo comes to his other side and pulls out a thin yellow book with a cartoon lunch lady on the front.
“My kids used to love these, but…” She gives Colton a soft smile.
“...probably not something you can relate to.” She slides it back, then grabs a big book from the bottom shelf.
“This one is kind of famous if you like fairy tales?”
Colton’s eyes practically bug out of his head when she parts it open to a scene from Beauty and the Beast where the Beast and Belle are dancing in the library, their eyes locked on each other’s.
Colton frowns. “Um. No kissing books.”
Keo laughs. “Okay.”
“Here’s a funny one if you like cats.” I pull out a few of the humorous Castronauts books that Skye was crazy about last summer.
When I offer one to Colton, he takes it from me and starts reading. After a few pages, he nods. “Yeah, I like this.”
After another twenty minutes of guidance, Colton’s stack of books gets too big to carry around, so he settles into a bean bag chair across from the girl who is already on her second book in her pile and starts to read.
When my kids were little, bringing them to the library on Saturday mornings meant an hour of peace. Sofie would get hooked on some new mystery, Linnie would burn through a tower of picture books, and Jesse would do the craft or play games on the computers.
Keo and I browse for more of what Colton might like, sharing stories from our kids’ adventures and books we remember. When I’m sure we’re alone, I steal a quick kiss, lingering on her lips for a fraction of a second. When I finally pull back, she sighs and links her arm with mine.
“Can you come for dinner tonight?” she asks in a hushed tone.
I eye past her to make sure we’re not being overheard. “I would love that. What can I bring?”
A thoughtful expression fills her eyes as she taps her chin. “Hmm. Dessert?”
Leaning in close, I brush the tip of my nose past her ear. “What if I plan to make you dessert?”
She curls into me. “Then I guess we’re set.”
I laugh into her neck. She smells so good. I’m going to have a hard time waiting until tonight to kiss her again.
An hour later, while Keo visits the restroom, Benjamin and I accompany Colton to the circulation desk with his newly minted library card and his limit of ten books.
But as we pass through the periodicals section, Colton’s attention zeroes in on a copy of today’s Finn River Journal left on one of the tables.
MISSING CHILDREN RESCUED FROM CULT blares across the top. Below it are side by side school photos of McKenzie and Gweneth Travers.
Colton’s eyes cloud with confusion. “Rescued? What happened? Kenzie and Gweneth left with their mom last spring.”
Benjamin’s eyes track to the newspaper, and he swiftly flips it over, then flashes Colton a compassionate smile. “I’m not sure that’s something you need to see right now.”
Colton worries his bottom lip. “The fathers took them back, didn’t they?”
Benjamin rubs his chin like he’s weighing his words. “The girls are back with their mother now.”
Colton releases a shaky breath and glances out the window. “I remember the day they left. I wanted them to take me too.”
Though Benjamin’s sending me a warning gaze, I need to reassure Colton. “That must have been awful.”
Would Colton know who helped the girls? I bite the question back. Maybe that person will find my number scrawled underneath the sink. If I ever get a next time, I’ll tape a burner phone under there too.
“My mom.” Colton huffs, and it’s the first hint of the anger I’m sure is beneath the surface. Anger he’s going to have to deal with at some point. “She’s a believer. It doesn’t matter how mean they are, she won’t go against them.”
There’s mean and there’s abuse. Someday, when he’s ready, Colton will understand the difference, and it will rock his world. I think of my own kids learning to cope with Eliza’s abandonment, and though they’re old memories now, my chest tightens.
“Did she know you wanted to leave?” I ask Colton.
“I tried once before, but I lost the path, and they found me.” He gets a faraway look in his eyes, his cheeks turning slack, like he’s no longer with us.
After a deep exhale, he wraps one arm around his middle, as if to shield himself.
“I knew when I did it again, I had to do it right, because I couldn’t ever go back. ”
Asking if there are other kids who would want to leave if they had a chance is tingling the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back.
The question is too invasive, and the distress it might cause feels too risky.
I don’t want Colton to feel like he’s obligated to share.
The power dynamic between us is fragile and new, and I want to be an example of an adult who prioritizes caring for him and supporting him over any kind of agenda.
I catch his gaze. “You won’t ever have to go back.”
When I get to Keo’s, she comes to the door in an oversized yellow sweater and a black skirt that hugs her hips and flares above her knee, revealing lean calves and bare toes painted a bright pink today.
Last time I was here they were red, and even though it makes little sense, the image of her painting them to match her mood is like gasoline to the desire building inside me.
Or maybe it’s the skirt. Likely, it’s all the little things I’m growing attached to—her kindness, her creativity, her laugh, her sassy confidence.
She’s also nurturing and protective of her children, even of Colton, a boy she barely knows, and that soothes an ache I’ve been carrying for a long time.
I need to tell her that I want more of her. That I want us to be more.
“Hi.” It comes out a little breathy. The way her pretty eyes drink me in is addicting. It’s like she’s undressing me slowly and liking what she sees.
I step in and close the door with my heel, then take her face in my hands and kiss her.
She sighs into my mouth, like she’s been waiting all week for this kiss.
Our lips embrace, and then our tongues are flicking, teasing.
I try to go slow, savor every playful swirl of her tongue and the way her scent is layered with whatever she’s cooking, but being with her is like the anticipation of quenching a long thirst. She grabs my waist, her touch grounding me while at the same time, turning my craving for her bare skin on mine into something carnal.
As if reading my mind, she pulls my shirttails from my jeans and glides her fingers beneath, her touch at once tender and eager. It’s too much and not enough all at once, and all my patience snaps.
“Can dinner wait a little?” I ask her because talking is going to have to wait.
“Yeah, why?”
In one motion, I bend down and fold her over my shoulder.