Chapter 11
“Jealous of yourself, Sky?”
He taunts me. That damn sinful mouth curls up as if he enjoys this constant torment he subjects me to.
“Go fuck yourself, because you’re never fucking me again,” I retort.
“So sure about that?”
I storm away––tired of fighting, tired of giving in to the hurt, of the physical and emotional bruises we can’t stop inflicting on each other.
In my room, I find Bailey staring out the window. I knew I was right not to keep any of my stuff here. It’s like, at any given moment, one of them is in my space.
“Sorry, but you weren’t here, and I thought I’d wait. How are you?” she asks in a soft voice. She’s so damn genuine.
“You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I worry about both of you. All of us, to be honest.”
“Toughen up. That heart of yours will only bring you trouble.”
“I remember you telling me something different a few years ago.”
I flinch. Why does everyone keep reminding me of her? That girl is long gone.
“Learn from my mistake.”
“I don’t think love was to blame. It was the choices––”
“Well, it was his and that idiot dares to tell me…”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. Only Kaden can press my unhinged button with only a glance.
“You’re so strong and still so hurt.”
“Strength comes with survival. You’re not born strong; you become strong.”
“It was nice, the movie night.”
Something in me longed to be among them or make myself present, like a thorn in their perfect unity.
“I’m still waiting for Abigail to retaliate.”
“Why would she? He looked at ease, and we all want that for Kaden.”
“They’re together.”
“Oh, like you’re with Hunter?”
Her reply stuns me, leaving me speechless.
“Until you’re honest with yourself, then you can think whatever suits your plans.”
A smile tugs at my lips, proud of her. “I knew you had more in you.”
“Just because I don’t engage doesn’t mean I don’t know what happens around me.”
“Tell me.”
She’s not as easy to crack as I believed. Hunter has his hands full.
“I am not your enemy. None of us are. So please, whatever it is…”
Whatever she sees on my face, she adds, “Please stay away from each other at least until after Grandmother’s dinner.”
She leaves me to wallow in my thoughts. Looking out the window, I see Kaden’s car. Who do I want to punish more? Me or him with those stars on his car resembling a night sky?
My phone vibrates with a message from my best friend. I hate that we don’t live together but as an heir, I can’t live anywhere else. Mia tells me she’s on her way, so I go downstairs to wait for her.
In the kitchen, I grab a water bottle from the fridge. Uncapping it, I sit down at the island.
Blake enters the kitchen, taking me in, gauging my expression. His silence disturbs me the most. He used to be the loudest among us. Now, whenever I look at him, I feel like he is trapped in the pits of Hell. I am mad on his behalf. Who hurt him so I can hurt them back so much worse?
“Easy there, killer. We’re not friends anymore,” he reminds me. Stating facts. No emotion.
“Fuck friendship. This is about revenge.”
“Well, you’re directing that at the person who doesn’t deserve it.”
“This has nothing to do with him.”
“Next time, pick me for a fight. Kaden would never give his best, and I itch to test you.”
I shoot up from my chair. It scrapes against the floor and falls back with a thud.
“Time and date.”
“Your rage blinds you. Be smart.”
He puts his finger on my temple. “Or you might end up dead in the best-case scenario.”
His eyes pin me, and I blink, shocked at how he delivered that message as if he knows what he’s talking about. Before I can ask him more, Mia walks into the kitchen. Her eyes widen when they land on him. For a nanosecond, his eyes lighten. She tilts her head to the side, and he scratches his neck. What’s happening here? If that’s her strategy, then she’s brilliant, but it could backfire.
“Let’s go to my room,” I say.
They wave at each other. It would be sweet if her mission was to fall in love instead of gathering information.
“What was that?” I ask in a hushed tone.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
On my bed, she plops on her back and sighs. “I don’t have anyone here.”
“You have us.”
“Yes, but both you and Hunter are only thinking about the mission. No one asked me if I wanted this, any of this… and yet…”
“Just don’t fall in love with him.”
“We’re just friendly. Blake’s lonely. I’m lonely…”
We spend the rest of the day together, catching up while doing mani and pedis. By the end, we’re both more at ease.
Next to her Mini Cooper, she hugs me. “I know this is the hardest for you, and I will always be there for you, but if you find something good, enjoy it. Treasure it.”
I open my mouth, and she shakes her head, whispering, “Yes, right. Mission comes first.”
I watch her step into the car, and we wave at each other. Feet shuffling down the stairs have me looking up and all four walk by me.
I grab Kaden’s wrist. “Where are you going?”
“None of your business.”
They all get into their respective cars. If they think I am going to sit on my ass, they’re mistaken. I am dressed in shorts and a tank top, but not wanting to miss this, I hurry out, yanking the door open to Kaden’s car.
“No.”
I make myself even more comfortable in the buttery leather seat. “Drive or we’re going to spend the rest of the night here.”
He puts the car in reverse, and the power of this beast surges through me. It’s addictive. I might borrow it from time to time.
Abigail calls, and he curses but picks up. Her voice blares from the car speakers. “I know you’re there, Celine. If this gets back to the Family, I will kill you.”
She hangs up, and I say, “She can try.”
Now I am curious about what they’re doing.
He drives with one hand gripping the wheel, looking so damn sexy. The minutes pass too fast for my hungry eyes to take their fill before he parks in front of a cliff. A road appears to enter the ocean, and a few cars are parked in front of the cliff. Around twenty people form a raucous crowd, small groups rounding the cars.
I don’t have a good feeling.
I grip his arm. “Tell me, this is not what I think it is.”
“Worried about my safety?”
“You’re not fucking racing.”
My heart thunders in a vicious strike.
He must notice the terror I don’t even try to hide.
“This is our outlet, Sky. This keeps us sane.”
By defying death? Because one day, death will push back.
Kaden gets out of the car and meets with Blake. From the glint in his eyes, I can tell Blake lives for these moments. I storm off, ignoring the catcalls. They end abruptly when Kaden pins the crowd with a death glare. That was unnecessary but hot. Don’t lose sight of what’s important.
Kaden and Blake are in deep conversation with a guy. Money is being exchanged and I roll my eyes. Money is not what these two need, it’s more brains and common sense.
“Tell me they do not engage in street racing.”
“Would you even care if any of us lives or dies?” Abigail asks, flipping a strand of her hair back.
“Oh my god, you’re doing this too?”
Never in a million years would I have thought Abigail would be into this as well. I follow her gaze to a guy I recognize from campus. We even had a few brief encounters, but with everything happening at the moment, it’s secondary.
Dane. He has such an intense expression. He oozes that bad-boy vibe.
“Is he looking?” Abigail asks.
“Who is he to you?”
“My nemesis.”
I doubt that. The way they watch each other, they look like they want to rip each other’s clothes off.
She’s such a player. She goes to Kaden, and he puts his arm around her. It’s not jealousy. It’s the realization of seeing them together and how comfortable and at ease they are in each other’s presence.
“How could you let them do this?” I ask Bailey.
“After the initiation, well…”
“Tell me. I need to know what could make them seek death like this.”
“In a way, all three of them are already dead.”
“Were you initiated?”
“Not like them. I just had to pledge my loyalty. I am in without it. They helped me construct an image that wouldn’t raise suspicion, and the Family accepted it. I owe them my sanity. Like you owe Kaden your freedom.”
Two competing cars line up at the start line. My heart thumps in my ears, deafening me. A slender girl sashays to the start line, and when she swings the checkered flag down, Blake shoots out first in his McLaren.
Dust lifts off the ground, creating a small tornado. I think his car went over the cliff for a second, only to see he’s the first across the finish line.
I look at Bailey differently now. How strong she must be among friends who are so damn unconscious or not willing to admit their suicidal tendencies.
Next is Abigail, and she blows Dane a kiss while he mutters something under his breath.
Panic constricts my muscles. Bailey places a hand on mine, offering a bright smile. “I thought you didn’t care. I am glad you do.”
I am mesmerized by how Abigail maneuvers her black Porsche 911, leaving her competitor in the dust, and wins.
“She’s good.”
“She’s phenomenal.”
I see Kaden step inside his car. How did I miss this? I move to run to him to stop him when Bailey grips my elbow.
“He has it the hardest. He needs it the most.”
“Death? He needs death the most?”
Pain smashes my insides into smithereens, leaving me bereft.
“He’ll be fine,” she says, voice soft and compassionate.
A full-blown shiver rocks me. My knees weaken, threatening to give up on me. If I lose him, my heart won’t ever recover. Chest caving in on me, I choke on a lungful of air. I might never see him again. One wrong turn, and poof, he’s gone.
Gathering the last of my strength, I take off, needing to escape from this place.
My fingers shake as I embrace myself and tears stream down my face. I stop, not being able to see a damn thing. I am drowning in a river of anguish, standing no chance against its merciless currents.
Approaching the cliff”s edge, the ocean whips at the stone. The half-moon reflects on the endless water, creating a soothing image but it doesn’t alleviate the pain suffocating me. I sink to my ass, my feet dangling over the side. Somehow, I know, it’s peace he’s seeking.
An angry beast parks. I am certain it’s him, interrupting my personal moment. I am grieving, or preparing myself for the impending grief.
What is betrayal? What is treason? Nothing matters if I lose him for good.
Kaden takes a seat next to me. His presence disintegrates the chokehold agony has on me.
“You wanted to see. Don’t tell her.”
“You hate her that much, huh?”
“You have no idea, but this is not about Grandmother.”
A shadow of a smile paints his face. He leans back on his palms, staring at the sky peppered with stars.
“Why?”
“Careful, Sky. I might interpret that as caring.”
I am raw, open, and sensitive, and he has the nerve to appear smug.
“Tomorrow, we will sit at Grandmother’s table and act civilized. And you will say whatever you need to, except what we do for fun.”
That word uncaps my anger.
“Fun? You idiot. You could die!” I scream, the ocean seemingly ripples with my terror.
My chest heaves, and my palms move to my temples, trying to eradicate that horrific thought.
His hands cup my face, alleviating my anguish with a simple touch. Our eyes lock. Everything else disappears.
Nothing is promised.
Nothing is given.
We get moments and try to hold on to them. Everything is destined to fade, so why not indulge?
I spring into his arms. He catches me, holding me tightly.
Don’t let me go. Never let me go or I’ll never find myself again.
I brush a kiss on his mouth, and his eyes open––he’s the one I can never expel from my soul. He’s branded there.
It’s as if this was everything he was looking for. He drags my face to him by the back of my neck. His lips curl up into a radiant smile like he used to give me: happy, serene, and mine.
“Say it,” he demands.
“I want to feel you. Give me everything you have.”
He’s still mine, and when it comes to him, I have no power at all. Stupid weakness. But at this moment, I don’t even care.