Chapter 16
Tears fall down my cheeks. This night turned from hurt from a minor break to my heart being shredded in my chest. Nothing will erase the fact I saw Kaden dangling over a cliff.
His strong arms cocoon me, and his body infuses warmth into the coldness consuming me. He’s here, next to me. Safe. Alive. Tomorrow, we can return to whatever we are when we’re not giving in to this craving interwoven with weakness.
He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and kisses my neck tenderly, making me feel cherished. I cuddle even more into him. His warmth soothes me, putting me at ease.
I ghost a finger over his hand. “You’re reckless. What you did…”
“You’re with someone else.”
A surge of anger ripples through me. How dare he accuse me of being unfaithful when he’s engaged to Abigail?
“She’s wearing your ring.” I remember when we once snuck into his father’s office, and it was on his desk. Kaden had an impish grin on his face as he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
We were at that age where we weren’t kids anymore, but we weren’t yet teenagers. I said yes, and he slipped it on my finger, even though it was too big. But I knew even then it was mine.
“I know a lot more now than back then. I would never offer you that ring.”
I gulp, so damn exhausted and frustrated with loving him. We steal moments when I want all of him: his touches, his kisses, his heart, his loyalty, his life, and all the promises he made. I want him to keep his word, damn it.
I didn’t plan on actually kissing Dane. I just wanted to get a reaction out of Kaden. Dane and I have developed a strange bond. I like the easy friendship between us––two people suffering from broken hearts. Then Kaden and Abigail interrupted us, dangling their harmony in my face.
I didn’t lie. They make perfect sense together. They keep each other anchored while Kaden and I are madness and chaos. We’re explosive, yet the bond between us is indestructible.
“We’re bad for each other,” I whisper.
“When did this happen?”
We chuckle, but it’s broken like everything else in me.
I turn to him, his eyes searching mine.
“You know what I hate the most?”
“That would be new. You giving me truths.”
He has no right, none. Guilt and jealousy wreck me.
“You and Abigail are the ideal couple.”
“Are we?”
“Even when we were children… it’s like I needed you while you needed…”
“If you say I needed her, I will lose my shit.”
His body tenses, and I try to bring some order in my disarrayed thoughts. “I was all you saw, but it’s like she gave you strength to do so.”
He squeezes his eyes, anger flexing his toned body.
“I swear, Celine, at times, I think you went through a damn brain transplant to spew so much bullshit. Jealousy, I get that. Fuck knows I am livid, blind with it. But to fucking look at me while being in my arms with all the love that we share and say that… That hurts the most.”
He hops off the bed and paces around. I pull the blanket to my chin, suddenly cold.
“Abi understands me… you were loved by your parents. We didn’t even get scraps. That fucks with your head. I wonder if you’ll ever understand how deep my love runs for you.”
He turns his back to me, looking outside.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
My heart races, and he peers at me over his shoulder. Dejection paints his face.
“You returned for whatever reason, and I made a promise to them. Yet here I am with you, possibly knocking you the hell up. You bewitch me and I embrace the madness. Still, I wonder if you just want me to fall…fail.”
What is happening right now?
I whisper, “You don’t trust me.”
“Why would I? Do you think I’m stupid? Mia is working on Blake. I hope you can fucking sleep well at night knowing that guy is already fucked up in the head.”
“Then we have Hunter and Bailey. That leaves you to cover me.”
Betrayal stares back at me. I am proud of how smart he is, affected that my feelings for him would always impede me from doing what he accuses me of.
“You think so highly of me.”
“You got what you came for. My cum is still inside of you. Do you want a piece of me so badly?”
Yes. I can’t get pregnant, though I hope it will happen.
I am not delusional. I have a plan, including going away the moment this all ends. Starting over, becoming someone without a legacy strapped around her ankles.
I don’t want to be this angry person anymore. I don’t want to be this sick-in-love girl who needs to inflict pain on the one she loves to make her own pain feel tolerable. Provoking and taunting him to get a reaction so my stupid heart is justified in having loved him. I am exhausted.
“Don’t you want a piece of us? We’re…”
“Say it, and maybe then you will act accordingly.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? It’s not even legal…”
“I swear to god, if you say our marriage is not valid, I will blow a gasket.”
“Then act like my husband.”
I crave you, you moron. I am desperate for you. I burn in the hell of my need for you.
“I wish I could.”
I urge my heart to stop loving him.
He drags a hand down his face and props his ass against the windowsill.
In the silence, his heavy breaths exude despair.
I exhale a deep sigh. “Then what are we doing?”
“Taking what we can.”
It’s not enough. I inject steel into my spine and go to him. Rising on my toes, I plant a soft kiss on his lips. “Goodbye then. It’s okay. You will be fine. I will make sure of that,” I vow.
I owe it to that boy, to that version of us we were before this family came between us, to make sure he will come out unscathed.
At the door, I glance at him. Take your fill. Fill your heart, not with memories, but with him at this moment, terrorized by his weakness for you.
I am relieved I won’t carry a part of him with me.
Closing his door, I dab at my tears, the finality settling in my chest.
“How is he?” Abigail intercepts me.
“Over me.”
She snorts and grabs my hand, dragging me downstairs. She pushes me down on the couch while she fills two glasses with alcohol.
“Drink up, buttercup.”
“Is it poisoned?”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
A small smile lifts the corners of my mouth. “You must hate me.”
She sips from her drink and says, “I don’t hate you.”
“Not even after Dane?”
Her entire posture stiffens.
“I’m jealous.”
“You don’t have any reason to be.”
With an arched brow, I point at her ring finger. She lifts it, brows knitting.
“You and him… you fit.”
“I hope we do. We keep each other afloat. Best friends should do that.”
She takes a small sip. “I like you more when you’re like this.”
“Like what?”
“Not a raging bitch.”
I burst into laughter. Us sharing a moment feels good. Hunter walks inside, sniffing the air around me.
He takes the seat next to me. “Sex is not on the menu if I can’t get any.”
I slap his chest, pushing him playfully.
“I don’t understand the dynamic between you two,” Abigail says, studying us, and then leaves.
Hunter drops back against the couch and puts his feet on the table.
“I heard you caused a ruckus again.”
“These walls have ears?”
“Thin walls and all.”
Heat creeps up my cheeks. They all must have heard us.
“Let’s scout that location in the woods near the Family’s compound,” he says.
“Now?”
“It’s the best time, plus I can’t sleep.”
We slip into his car and spend the drive in silence. When we reach the heart of the forest, he cuts the lights off. A spiky wire fence surrounds the building. Cameras are posted in every corner, rolling nonstop, and thick trees surround it. The best cover for a property you don’t want to be found.
And will be virtually impossible to get inside undetected.
If my mother is alive, they must be keeping her here.
“How can we even get inside?” I think aloud.
“Create a diversion?”
“How many diversions can we create? The closer you get, the harder it will be to get inside.” I point at security guards patrolling around, weapons strapped to their sides.
“Let’s observe then.”
We put our binoculars on, and I count ten guards and a few cars.
After a while, Hunter says, “We’ll take turns.”
I nod, and he adds, “I’ll start tomorrow.”
“You’ll skip classes.”
“A shocker since I have always been such a studious guy.”
“Shut up. You wouldn’t have gotten all those perfect grades if you weren’t.”
A shadow of a blush taints his ears. I suppress my amusement while he scratches his neck.
“I only make plans for the mission.” He’s terrified to plan for the future. I hope the hole in his heart over his mother’s loss will close.
“Let’s head back.”
On the drive back, I turn on music, dragging my knees to my chin.
We tiptoe inside only for Mia to find us, her arms crossed, and we halt.
“We scouted the location in the woods,” Hunter says.
“And you didn’t inform me?”
“Because it would have drawn attention, and you’re better at socializing than we are,” I reply.
“What did you find out?”
“That place is heavily secured. Whatever they’re hiding in there is important.”
“You’re going to get yourselves killed.”
Our heads whip to Blake, who shoots a heated gaze at Mia.
“Stop eavesdropping.”
“Not my fault you’re talking out in the open. Besides, I got thirsty.”
He conveniently pops up every time at the right moment.
“What do you know?”
He looks me dead in the eyes. “How much is your life worth?”
“Are you threatening her?”
Hunter goes into full attack mode. Blake lifts his palms in a nonthreatening gesture.“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He leaves, and Hunter says, “He knows something.”
“He’s a vault.” Mia sighs.
“So you’re saying the master thief is having a hard time stealing the information we need?”
They are locked in a battle of wills.
“Find out,” I say.
“I will. Stop questioning me.”
“We don’t want you to get soft, sis.”
“Look who’s talking. Ever since we came here, you have been unfocused most of the time.”
Ouch. The truth always hurts.
I leave and once inside my room, I call my father. It’s the middle of the night, but again, knowing him, he’s not sleeping either.
“We scouted the location. They must be hiding something important there.”
“Yes, your mother.”
“Maybe she’s not there, Father. Even if she is… after all these years…”
“Celine, loving someone also means loving them through changes. Especially then. Go to bed now. You have classes tomorrow.”
We hang up, and I slip under my covers, sleep embracing me.
***
I halt at the foot of the stairs, a smile curling up my lips. Around the kitchen table, Hunter and Kaden grumble over some professor. Mia and Abigail chat about a romance book, taking me by surprise to learn she reads them too. Bailey puts her head on Blake’s shoulder, peering at Hunter, and Blake steals glances at Mia. For a moment, I could picture us all, a big family of friends for life.
“Don’t let me interrupt you,” I say as I snatch a piece of toast from Hunter and take a bite. Being the dick he is, he runs after me. I laugh so hard that I choke on the bread.
I’ll kill him if I don’t die first. Hitting my chest repeatedly, I struggle to breathe through the panic. Laughter quickly gives way to mortified looks.
“Spit it out,” Hunter yells.
But I can’t. Before I can shake my head, Kaden is at my back, locking his hands under my stomach, performing the Heimlich maneuver. I feel the food dislodging, and after a few more pumps, it flies out of my mouth and straight onto Hunter’s shirt. Kaden caresses my back as I continue to heave.
“Are you okay?”
“I am now. Thank you.”
Our moment is interrupted when Hunter says, “That would have been an awkward eulogy to write.”
I punch him straight in his stomach, and he bends over, whining.
“Asshole.”
Kaden eyes us quizzically, and I take the seat next to Abigail, putting me face to face with him.
His eyes are downcast, and he is staring at his plate, which he hasn’t touched.
His phone chimes, and he says, “I need to check on the house renovations. You’re not coming back with us, Celine. Find an excuse or a lie. We’ll back you up.”
He stands up, takes his plate to the sink, rinses it, and puts it back in the cabinet.
“It doesn’t work like that,” I insist.
“And I don’t fucking care. I don’t want you near that place.”
“Kaden.” Abigail tries to reason with him.
“No.”
He walks away, shutting the front door behind him. Abigail runs after him.
“He’s losing his fucking mind by the second,” Blake snarls.
“What is your problem, anyway?” I ask.
“Do you want me to tell him where you were last night?”
“Do you want me to tell him you know more?” I snap back.
“He knows that, Celine, but he doesn’t know everything… this is what family does. We protect each other.”
“While getting drunk and not letting anyone know what’s going on with you.”
We’re face to face, panting.
He peruses me. “That violence raging inside of you…”
“Say when?”
“Tonight.”
Mia, Hunter, and Bailey lament and disagree, but as I look at Blake I find we both need to expel some demons.
“Are you out of your mind?” Mia asks.
“I know what I’m doing. You can nurse his wounds afterward.”