Chapter 3 #2
She let out a surprised laugh. “Oh, with Howard, I was the one who took my time with it. He actually said it within the month.”
“Oh my God,” James exclaimed. He couldn’t imagine doing anything in just a month of dating.
“There’s no right or wrong amount of time, hon.”
“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure there’s an average, and I don’t think it’s a month.”
His mom’s hands went to her hips again. “Before you go making fun of my beau, how about you look it up?”
James should’ve seen that coming. His entire childhood had gone like this.
Anytime he tried to get smart with his mom, no matter the topic, she’d have him look up whatever it was on the family computer.
For a while, that had meant waiting for their dial-up internet to connect while his dad grumbled about missing phone calls and wasting time.
When he was a teenager, his mom’s school had replaced all its laptops, and the teachers had been allowed to take home the old ones.
She’d lugged it all the way home on the train and set it up next to the kitchen table so they could look things up right in the middle of a debate or discussion.
By the time James came home for Thanksgiving, his freshman year of college, they both had rudimentary smartphones they could pull out at the dinner table to fact-check.
“I can look it up right here,” he grumbled as he pulled out his phone.
His mom crossed her arms, and he hastened to type his question in the search bar.
“Ha!” he exclaimed, not bothering to read past the first result. “It says for men, the average is between three and four months. For women, it can be longer.”
He glanced up, expecting his mom to concede defeat, but instead she narrowed her eyes at him.
“What?” he asked, defensively holding his phone out in front of him. “That’s what it says!”
“Mhmmmm,” she said, really elongating the second “m.” “Now, remind me how long you and Leon have been together?”
Wow. He’d walked right into that one.
“Okay, but that’s just the average.”
“Yes,” she said, using the tone she’d perfected after three decades of parenting him. “So that means it could be even sooner than that.”
James bit his lip as he reached the bottom of his box and pulled out a tissue box he’d decorated as a Valentine's mailbox in elementary school. He’d stuck candy heart boxes all around the sides and used cardboard to make the flap. All things considered, it wasn’t too bad looking.
“I didn’t mean to offend you or Howard—” he tried to say.
His mom picked up a candy heart pillow and placed it down, with a little more force than necessary, on the corner of the couch. “Don’t try to change the subject.”
“I wasn’t changing—”
“James,” she said, brandishing a pink and white wreath at him. “All your fears, self-imposed deadlines, and expectations aside, how do you feel about Leon?” He bit his lip, but she shook her head. “No, don’t think about it. Just say it right now.”
“I… I…” he stuttered, and he placed the tissue box down on the coffee table.
“Right now, James.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I care about him a lot,” he said, because that was true.
“How much?”
“More than I’ve ever cared about anyone except you.”
They stared at each other for a long, tense moment. They didn’t usually have tense moments, and it was somehow made more profound by the fact that his mom was holding a pink and white feather boa.
“Do you think that care has the potential to turn into love?” she asked, deadly serious.
“Yes,” he said, his hands tightening to match the ball in his stomach that had grown steadily over the past four months. “I know it could.”
After answering his phone at work the previous afternoon, James had spent the rest of the evening searching for cat bandanas until he found the perfect set online.
It had seven bandanas, in all the colors of the rainbow, with black and white skulls on them.
He sent it to Leon and received approximately 20 heart emojis in response.
He wasn’t usually one to read into emojis, and any other day, he probably wouldn’t have, but something had shifted when they’d both admitted they were in each other’s top four.
Yesterday had only heightened his suspicion that something was growing and changing between them.
All week, all he could think about was getting to see Leon. It felt like his entire life revolved around that moment every Friday evening, when he got to throw his arms around his boyfriend and know that for the next 48 hours, he would be surrounded by warmth and care and…
Love.
Leon’s apartment was, to use his mother’s horrid metaphor, dripping with love. He felt it in the way Leon cared for Yarmen, Hailey, and her mom. He felt it in the way Leon had his pantry stocked with food James and, as of recently, Aspen and Noah preferred.
This man–James’ man–cared so deeply for everyone around him. It felt sort of inevitable that everyone around him would come to care deeply for him in return.
James was pretty sure he’d fallen headlong into not just caring about Leon but being hopelessly in love with him.
“There it is,” his mom said, apparently quite proud of herself as she hung the boa around James’ neck.
“There what is?” James gruffed, yanking the boa roughly off his neck.
“The same look you had when he was here. The look you get when you come home from a pride event or talk about getting a cat when you eventually move out. Something like determination and purpose mixed with pure happiness.”
His mom took the boa out of his hands and tossed it onto the couch.
She cupped his face with both her hands, forcing him to meet her familiar, crystal blue eyes.
“My sweet boy. Life hasn’t been easy on us, but we made it to the other side.
We can finally slow down and enjoy living with people who bring love and joy into our lives. ”
James’ eyes filled with unexpected tears, and he pushed forward until he could wrap her up in his arms. The vision of Leon hugging his mom appeared behind his stinging eyes, and he hugged her even tighter.
It had been a long time since there were more than two people in their little family. Within four months, they’d more than doubled the size, with Howard, Linda, and Leon bringing so much light and energy into their lives.
“I love you,” James said, and his chest shook with his mom’s laughter.
“That’s good practice, hon.”
“Mom!”
“I love you, too, sweetie. But I’m serious. If you love Leon, you need to tell him.”
James snorted. “You know, he said something similar recently. ‘If you care for someone, you should tell them.’”
“Sounds like he’s gearing up to tell you he loves you as well.”
James grimaced and pulled away. “I don’t know about that, but…you’re right. It doesn’t matter if he feels the same way or not. I love him.”
She cupped his cheek again so she could wipe away a tear. “You’re a good man, James. A dutiful son, a loyal friend, and a loving partner, but above all else, you are just such a wonderful person. There’s no way he couldn’t fall for you.”
She swiped away another tear as he huffed out a wet breath. “Pretty sure you have to say that.”
“Nonsense. Such nonsense today,” she said, but they were both smiling now.
A knock at their front door, along with his mom’s gasp of surprise, managed to scare the last of James’ tears away.
“Oh, shoot! I’m so sorry, James. I meant to tell you they were coming over when I asked about Valentine’s Day plans, but I got so distracted,” she said, turning as if to rush to the front door.
She was doing light years better than before, but she’d tripped over the rug in the front hall just last week, and he was still trying to scrub that terrifying image out of his head.
He was here right now, so he could help.
He placed a no-nonsense hand on her shoulder as he stepped around her to go answer the door himself. He pulled aside the curtain to find Howard and Linda standing on their porch holding takeout boxes.
“I was planning on having everything all ready for Valentine’s Day, but they insisted on coming over to help,” his mom said as she came down the hall, cautiously lifting each foot up over the edge of the rug before shuffling towards the door.
“That’s sweet, Mom. Do you…want me to go out?” James asked as he unlocked the front door and pulled it open. “Leon had another long day trying out his meds with Aspen. It went much better than yesterday, but he’s tired, so I could go to the Rainbow Bean, or—”
“No need to leave on our account!” Howard boomed in his loud, jovial voice. He was dressed in his usual uniform: a tweed jacket, golf polo, and neatly pressed slacks. James had no idea what Howard did for work, but he envisioned him driving around in golf carts, closing on high-stakes deals.
“We brought enough to feed an army, James. Please stay and have dinner with us. Lord knows I see enough of these old coots every week,” Linda said, as she pulled her knit beanie off her head.
She was a bit more eclectic in her style, ranging from flowy, brightly colored tunics to A-line dresses and heels, depending on the day.
Today she was wearing a very chic pantsuit.
“Oh, don’t you two look nice! Maybe we should skip the decorating. I don’t want you to get your pretty clothes all wrinkled,” his mom said, smoothing down the hem of her tie-dye t-shirt and wiping her hands on the velour track pants she liked to wear around the house.
He loved that these three seemingly disparate people had all come together because of a cancer support group and a chance encounter on a dating app.
“I can take care of the decorating,” James said. “You three sip brandy and reminisce about the old days–or whatever it is you like to do when I’m not here.”
Oh god. Was he as bad as Hailey?
Howard guffawed, and Linda hid her laugh behind her pink manicured fingers.