Chapter Twelve
Jett paced his apartment. He wanted to hit or throw something, but that wouldn’t solve any of his problems. He needed to get out of there and hurried toward the stables. It was dinnertime, and the ranch was quiet. The few guests they had would be going into town for dinner and not needing anything. Most of the employees had gone home for the day because the nighttime activities were limited in the winter. Basically, only the spa was open now. And he wasn’t interested in a massage by Kace’s girlfriend. Of course, he liked Tara. She was fantastic. She was a great employee, and the guests loved her, but he couldn’t lie still on a massage table if his life depended on it.
He had to do something with all the anger in his veins. Autumn’s implying he saw himself as some kind of pimp to buy her land turned him into knots. Hell, he could have sex anytime he wanted for free. He didn’t need to pay for it. And not at that price.
His boots pounded the frozen ground. The cold air did nothing to cool him off. Only one thing could take the edge off for him. Okay, there was more than one thing, but this was the best one. He slid open the barn door.
The horses were in for the night. The ranch didn’t have an evening ride scheduled on Saturday nights mainly because no one wanted to work on a Saturday night. But that was fine with him. Now he wouldn’t have to deal with anyone or explain what he was doing.
He saddled up Butterfly. He liked riding her and always took her out. Tonight would be no different. Before he rode off, he made a quick stop by Silver Bell’s stall.
“Hey, girl. I’m too wrangled up to stick around tonight. You don’t need any of me right now. I’ll come back and sit with you later.”
Silver Bell pushed his hand with her nose. He looked into the horse’s eyes and thought for a brief second she could read his mind.
“I know. She’s hurting, and I make that pain worse for her. I always have.” But tonight he didn’t care about that. Even though he should. He was angry because she had swung and hit him square in the bullseye. He prided himself on doing the right thing. That was how he and his brothers were raised. He didn’t stray far from that line. He had left all the straying to Lock and Ajay. Even to Kace with his reckless career that had almost killed him.
But him, he followed so close to Gage’s tutelage that sometimes he wasn’t sure where his own principles stopped or started. Gage had been the compass he followed. And Gage never strayed. He was a tough one to live up to, and yet Jett had been trying for over forty years. For Autumn to imply otherwise had cut him clean through.
He hopped on Butterfly. They trotted out toward the easy hiking path. It was basically flat and soft when the grass was in. He didn’t take chances on a night ride. Even with his eyes adjusted, he could miss something and risk himself and the horse. He wouldn’t do that, but he had been riding on this land his entire life. He knew it inside and out.
Now the snow had been packed down, but Butterfly could handle it. He would ride out to the creek and back. By then, the heat in his veins should be placid enough he could be around other people.
The cold air swirled on every side of him but didn’t cool him. The anger held on with both hands. Butterfly’s hooves clomped against the hard ground. He could smell pine and snow in the air. But all he could think about was Autumn. She had believed he would use her, as if she were the prize in all of this. He cared about her too much for that.
That kiss had been real enough to shake him from his head to his toes. No woman had lit him up like Autumn. Being with her had always been different. Special. And when their lips touched, his brain and his body remembered as if no time had passed.
Did Vera have anything to do with Autumn’s refusal to accept his offer? Even if Autumn said no, he had to consider her mother would put negative thoughts in her head. And Vera was vindictive enough to try and convince Autumn that Ryker money was dirty. Vera would allow her daughter to suffer because of her own bitterness.
Butterfly followed the path. She knew the way better than he did. He took this ride at least once a week. More if he could swing it. But the ranch kept him busy. And if he could take over the ski area, he’d be even busier.
The business needed the expansion if they were going to continue to compete in the guest ranch world. Every day other guest ranches in Colorado or Utah offered bigger and better activities and adventures right in their backyards. Hell, he had read an internet article about a ranch right in Montana that doubled as the location of a very popular television show and that now offered guests a chance to rent their cabins. Everyone in the industry was going to suffer from that one.
The path turned, leading them deeper into the woods. The pine branches offered some coverage. The ground had little snow here. In the daylight, the sun shone through the branches and glistened against the snow layered on the pine leaves. The first deep breath since arguing with Autumn filled his lungs. Gage had warned him about making an offer on her land. He should have listened.
But if he didn’t buy it, someone else would. And they wouldn’t take care of it the way he would. He planned to expand what she was already doing with the backing of his business and reputation.
She just hadn’t been able to run her business well enough to stay in the black. She didn’t have the help. And he also knew, though he probably shouldn’t, they had lost a lot of money because Trent had gambling problems. That had been years ago, but they never recovered, and then the tanking economy forced people to stay home. Plus, she didn’t offer enough activities for the skiers. People wanted the big resorts now with a restaurant and tubing. They wanted the town at the end of the hill if the facility didn’t offer a ski-on, ski-off option because after a long day of skiing, they didn’t want to have to go far. They didn’t want to come for the day. Maybe in smaller states where getting to a mountain was easy enough for a day trip, but in Montana everything was spread far and wide.
He and Butterfly came upon the creek with its quiet gurgling. This very water ran behind Autumn’s property too. He could follow it, if he wanted, and end up in her backyard. He wasn’t sure why he was thinking about that particular path or what it might be like to knock on her door at this hour and have her come out in her cute pajama pants. She had made herself clear when she threw him out today. She didn’t want him or his help. He wasn’t about to try to convince her he wasn’t up to no good when she should already know that about him. He had shown her his true self more than enough times.
He turned around and headed back toward the barn. Butterfly took her time as if she knew he was in no rush, that nothing waited for him when he returned. Not a complete truth. Plenty waited for him. His ranch, his guests, his family—his empty bed. Was he finally ready to have a woman in his bed every night? He hadn’t thought so. But Gage and Kace had done it. The look was good on both of them.
Lights from the ranch’s buildings cast their warm glow against the fallen snow. Fatigue spread through his body as he approached the barn. He might actually get some sleep tonight. He would keep his offer to buy Autumn’s place on the table. And if Autumn changed her mind about selling to him, or found herself out of options, he would be there to help her. Whether she liked it or not.
****
Autumn couldn’t sleep. She threw back the covers, shoved her feet in her boots, and grabbed her coat from the hook by the front door. Quinn and her mother were asleep. At least, she assumed they were.
Her mother had been doing a lot of coughing today. She had complained about not feeling well, the flu or some such thing. But Vera had looked well enough. Every time Autumn’s mind had drifted off, thinking about Jett of all things, Vera would bring on a dry hacking cough that sounded more like a novice acting student failing at their first performance.
If Vera was actually sick, Autumn wasn’t sure she could handle dealing with her mother and the possibility of being homeless all at once.
Cold air hit in her the face as she rushed outside. Air froze in her lungs. She had no idea where she was going or what she was even doing out at this hour, but she couldn’t stay still in that house any longer.
Her legs propelled her through the snow of their own volition. She couldn’t stop them even if she wanted to, and she should want to. In about five minutes, she’d be in the tree line that separated her property from Ryker Ranch.
“I’m out of my mind,” she muttered to herself, but that didn’t stop her. Branches poked at her, catching her jacket and yanking her back. She tripped over a branch and fell on her hands. She brushed herself off and shoved aside the brush and pine leaves, ignoring the cedar scent she always loved and cherished.
Her gaze fell on Jett climbing the steps to the front porch. She hadn’t expected to see him. She hoped she would burn off a little steam, get near the main building, and turn around and go home. Instead, he took the steps two at a time, halting her in her tracks. Denim wrapped his long muscular legs like a gift. His barn coat filled out with his strong arms, and that adorable knit hat slid up his head as if being pulled by an invisible string.
She should run back. He hadn’t seen her, wouldn’t know she was there. She could hold on to what was left of her dignity and slip into the trees.
Dried leaves crackled under her foot and broke the silent night as if they were shattered glass.
He turned. “Autumn.”
She could still run. But she would look like a bigger fool than she already was. She had kissed him, had liked it the way a child liked making snow angels, and he had only kissed her to prime her to accept his offer.
She needed his offer. Needed to sell the land she had fallen in love with as a little girl when dreams were still made of castles and kings who could share a life with her.
But selling to Jett stole all the wind from her lungs. She had pretended for years that she didn’t need him, didn’t care that he had broken her heart. She had laughed at the people of this town when anyone even implied Jett was the one who got away. How ridiculous, she would say with a forced chuckle. We were kids. Young and stupid. Nothing that could last a lifetime. But that love had resided deep in her heart, living on even when she told it to die a certain death. She had pretended she hadn’t loved Jett because she had loved Trent. But the heart had room for more than one love. It was sneaky that way. And her heart had loved Jett from the moment he walked across the schoolyard toward her.
He walked toward her now too. She had missed her chance to make a break for it. She would have to explain her appearance on his property, in a spot that suggested she had entered through the trees like a stalker. The time of night played against her too. She had no good excuse to be where she was.
“Autumn, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” He stopped inches from her, narrowed his eyes, and took her elbow in his hand. Concern touched the features of his face.
He must think something awful had happened and she had run here in her pajamas seeking help. Jett was always ready to help. When someone in town needed anything, he would bring food, a strong back to repair or rebuild, and a steady presence. But he had a shrewd business mind too. She couldn’t forget that.
She willed her voice to cooperate. “Nothing is okay, if you must know the truth. Nothing has been okay in a very long time.”
“Did something happen to your mother? Is it Quinn? Do you need me to get Gage?”
“They’re fine. It’s me…and you.” Saying those words hurt, but now was the time for honesty. She had risked a lot by coming here and getting caught. She might as well jump into the deep end with her eyes wide open.
“I never meant to hurt you with my offer to buy your land, but if you’re going to sell it, why not to me?” His hand remained at her elbow.
She should step back, but she wanted his touch. “You don’t understand.”
“So make me. Because all I can see is a stubborn woman holding on to a grudge. I don’t understand why you hate me still.”
Still? “I don’t hate you. I have never hated you.” She had been angry from her toes to her scalp. She had cried for months after they broke up. But she had never hated him. She had wanted to, only to make the pain go away, but hate wasn’t possible. She had loved him too much.
“That’s not what it feels like.” His hand moved from her elbow up her arm. The heat from his touch penetrated the nylon of her coat and scorched her skin.
She resisted the urge to run her fingers through the hair coming out of the back of his hat. “Now I don’t understand.” She tried to read his expression, unable to figure out what he was thinking. “You and I have managed to get along fine through the years. Why do you think I hate you?”
She had only pretended to be fine with bumping into him in town or the diner or the bank. The smile she plastered on when she saw him had cost her, not because she disliked him, but because of exactly the opposite. Inside, her nerve endings frazzled and her stomach turned in on itself. He had ended their time together without consulting her, forcing her to move on and find love elsewhere. She had believed they were in it for the long haul.
And she had moved on. But she hadn’t wanted to.
“Come on.” He arched a brow. “You avoid me at all costs. I thought it was because of Trent. When you first started dating him, I figured he asked you to keep your distance from me. I didn’t like it, but I’m a man. I can understand not wanting your woman continuing any kind of relationship with someone from her past. But after he passed, you didn’t thaw out toward me. It wasn’t until I stepped foot on your land as the coach of the ski team that you even smiled at me.”
“What are you talking about? I always smile at you.” She avoided his gaze because she didn’t want him to see her soul in her eyes. After Trent died and she was ready to date again, she’d had to continue to pretend she was no longer interested in Jett. He had never so much as hinted in a joke that he thought of her as anything except the neighbor.
She had believed he had put their relationship in the rearview mirror and never looked back. He made moving on look so easy. She had to make him think she had too.
He shook his head. A hint of a smile tilted his lips. “Sorry, sweetheart. You haven’t smiled at me in almost twenty years.”
“That can’t be true. Why would I do something like that?”
“Because you hate me.” His hand drifted to her shoulder.
She stepped closer to him. Heat rolled off him in waves, and she was cold in her bones. She wanted to sink into him and let his warmth seep into her. “I don’t hate you, Jett Ryker.”
He tilted her chin with his strong finger. “Look at me when you say that.”
Her heart climbed into her throat and blocked the air. She swallowed to breathe again. “I don’t hate you.” But her voice was nothing more than a whisper swept away by the winter wind and blown to the tops of the cedars.
A breeze picked up and lifted her hair. His hand cupped the back of her neck. “Are you sure about that?” His gaze fell on her mouth. Desire flashed in his eyes.
The electrical charge in the space between them could heat her house for a year. How easy it would be to run her fingers over his jaw, letting the rough stubble of his beard prick her fingers and stir up those old wants. She might never get a chance to touch him again. Leaving would be the wise and safe choice, but she couldn’t bring herself to go.
“I’m very sure. I don’t hate you.”
His mouth met hers. He kissed her as if he had a hunger he couldn’t satiate.
His lips were cold, but she wasn’t cold any longer. She had wanted this for so long. He tasted like fresh air and mint and the promise of something better. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him against her. That electric charge was overpowering. She was helpless to it.
His hand moved to cup her face, tilting her chin up and taking the kiss deeper. If anyone had told her she would be kissing Jett Ryker a month ago, she would have had herself a good old laugh. She couldn’t believe what was happening, but she wouldn’t stop it.
His mouth moved to the soft spot below her ear. His breath was warm against her skin. This time she shivered while her lips found his neck. She caught a whiff of his bourbon-vanilla-scented soap and wanted to lick the man all over his muscled body.
Something that sounded like logic fought its way to the front of her lust-filled brain. She couldn’t be with Jett. He wanted to buy her land, and though it was a good, practical choice, she needed another buyer. She couldn’t explain to her mother that the Rykers would own the land. Vera would see it as the Rykers throwing them out and taking something that didn’t belong to them simply because they could and had. Vera believed Karen had stolen her husband. The land would be an easy steal.
With enough regret to stop a train, she eased out of the kiss. Jett stared down at her with glassy eyes and a smirk on his lips.
“We shouldn’t do this.” She stepped back, putting him out of her reach so she wasn’t tempted to grab him and kiss him again.
The smile dropped. “You seemed like you were enjoying it. I was.”
“I was too. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to lead you on. I guess…I guess I’m still attracted to you. But I meant what I said. I don’t want to sell my land to you. And I don’t want you trying to convince me with sex.”
“You still think I’m a pimp.” He threw his hands in the air. “Unbelievable. You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met.”
“Jett, I wish you would try and understand.”
“I understand that you have held a grudge for a long time. That you never actually understood the pain I was going through when Ajay died. For the briefest of moments these past weeks, I thought maybe we could try again. That I was far enough away from the man I was that I could be in a serious relationship. And then there you were standing by the trees as if you had been delivered to me. But you standing there must be some kind of joke on me.”
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I needed to see you.” She was making a mess of things, trying to keep control of her emotions and her property.
“You’re going to lose your land one way or the other. The bank isn’t going to care what happens to it. And neither will some big-time developer. But I would take care of it. I would see to that, and you could live in that house or move to New Jersey or whatever state if you wanted. But you go and spite yourself by turning me down because you think I’d play some kind of awful game.” He pointed at her, then turned on his heel.
She stood frozen until he hurried into the house, never looking back. How could she have a relationship with him no matter how much she wanted to try? Her mother would never let her hear the end of how she had betrayed their family by siding with a Ryker.
Her pride reared its head too. She didn’t want Jett to be the person who saved her. She would rather see the bank sell the land to a stranger and she and Quinn and Vera leave Backwater and start over somewhere else than know that Jett Ryker whose touch was gold owned the land that had been in her family for generations.
She pushed back through the trees and returned home. Her feet were numb, and so was her heart, but her lips still vibrated from that incredible kiss. She put the teakettle on and sank into the chair. Sleep wouldn’t come for a long while now. And neither would solace.