9. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Lydia
T his is the best Star Rangers gig ever. They are such a great party band. Molly, Kate, and I are dancing at the front, howling along to the songs we know and love, waving our hands in the air, having a wonderful time.
I can’t believe that Sheena missed tonight. I set up the perfect opportunity for her to hang out with lovely Luke and she’s not even here. But then, I glance over, through the crowd of heads and waving hands, and there’s Sheena with Cam and Luke. She must have only just arrived.
I nudge Kate and elbow Molly then use my thumb, in a disco dance move, to point in the direction of Luke and Sheena who appear to be in deep conversation. Both my friends give me a double thumbs up and I pat myself on the back. Finally, Sheena has seen sense. Now I can enjoy the night and party with my gal pals.
The next tune on the Star Rangers set list is one of my all-time favorites, the Guns ‘N’ Roses hit, ‘Sweet Child of Mine’. The noise around us is deafening as everyone sings along with this crowd-pleasing hit. I’m enthralled in the middle of the dance floor until I nosily sneak a peek to see how Sheena and Luke are getting along. My vision is obscured somewhat by a bunch of fellow revelers. I squint in the colored stage lights between arms, heads, and torsos to glimpse the three people watching from the side wall by the door. But there are only two. Sheena isn’t there anymore. I figure she must be at the bar or in the bathroom, so I keep dancing and singing loudly, “Oh, oh, oh, sweet child of mine!”
Dylan plays a fantastic guitar solo, followed by a resounding blast from the drummer before the bass player has his time to shine. Olly, the vocalist, sings the final elongated vowels of the last chorus then the song winds up with a huge bashy ending, with all players hammering out the last chord as if their lives depend on it. The band members seem happy with their show. There are smiles all round. They bow and wave to the crowd as if they are in a massive stadium rather than a small-town bar.
Olly waits for the applause to die down, then he says, “We’re going to slow things down a little now, ladies and gentlemen, with a Bon Jovi hit I’m sure you all know. Don’t be shy. If there’s someone you’ve had your eye on tonight, go ahead. Make your move. This is ‘Always’.” Dylan plays the familiar intro then he’s joined by the bass player and the drummer. People around me join together in pairs, enjoying the shared moment of dancing close. Cam appears and takes Molly’s hand. He wraps his arms around her, and they begin to sway in time.
Feeling a bit awkward, I smile at Kate, and she leads me back to the bar. I check for Luke and Sheena. Perhaps they’re slow dancing or have gone somewhere quieter to talk; exchange numbers; arrange a date; plan the rest of their lives together. I sniff back a sob as the emotion of this idea fills me with happiness. But also, a strange sense of loss that I can’t account for. However, when Kate and I get back to our spot by the wall, I only see Luke. Sheena isn’t there.
Unfazed I ask Luke over the noise, “Are you having a good time?”
“Yes. Thank you,” Luke bends down to my ear. The music for ‘Always’ isn’t as loud as it was for the rockier numbers, and I can hear what he’s saying.
I look around. “Where’s Sheena?”
“She left. She said she had a migraine coming on.”
“Oh no.” I’m so sad. And also annoyed that my plan had not played out as I had hoped.
“Not the best environment for a headache,” says Luke leaning close, so close I inhale his scent, a mix of fresh air and warm earth. I am inches from his chest and part of me wants to sink my face into his blue chambray shirt. I check myself and stop just in time.
“That’s too bad. And they played this song,” I say out loud without expanding on the significance.
“It’s funny how certain songs affect you. I mean, I remember hearing this for the first time. And wow. I loved it.” Luke smiles at me. “Lydia, would you like to dance?”
Now I’m conflicted. The perfect romantic song is being played and the most beautiful man in the room has asked me to dance. My heart flutters but a tug in my brain says, Stop! He’s taken. You set him up with Sheena. He’s not for you, dumbass. Then another part of my brain is saying, Sheena isn’t here anymore. The handsome man is asking… you. You lucky, lucky girl! Woohoo!
It’s a dance. It’s nothing more than that. It’s a friend dance. We can be friends and still slow dance to this tune without any romantic implications. Of course, we can.
Luke takes my hand and leads me to the edge of the dance floor where the lights have dimmed. I could just not dance. Say thanks but no thanks. I should walk away in the opposite direction. Make an excuse. I need to powder my nose. I’ve chipped a nail. I’ve just remembered, I’ve left the iron on.
Luke stands in front of me and gently takes my hands in his. Couples hold each other and sway with the pulse of the song. Then Luke’s hands drop to my waist, and I feel the warmth of his body close to mine. I sense his chest inside the light cotton shirt and the proximity of him creates a whoosh of blood surging in my veins. My heart beats fast. Light-headed and dizzy from dancing, something inside me wants to run a mile from this man. The sensation is too intense. I’m feeling unnerved by his closeness. And yet, something else wants to stay slow dancing with Luke Maddox forever.
Stop being so dramatic, I tell myself. It’s just dancing. But Luke is so very near, and the man in him is saying things to the woman in me, without my consent. Painfully aware that the song is going on and on, I become stiff with anxiety. Self-conscious. Awkward. I want to break away from Luke, jump on the stage, and pull the plug on the band’s sound system.
I feel sick. This wasn’t what I had planned. Sheena was supposed to be in my place. She’s the one wanting a boyfriend, not me. This is all wrong. And yet. Luke smells amazing. Something earthy, like wild thyme, but fresh like parsley or sage. His scent overwhelms the thinking, rational part of my brain. I want to reach my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine and kiss him within an inch of his life.
Finally, thankfully, the music stops before I totally embarrass myself. The couples surrounding us all seem to be caught up in a heartfelt embrace, a beautiful romantic moment they are sure to treasure well into old age. Cam strokes Molly’s hair and whispers something into her ear which makes her wrap her arms around his torso and pull her husband closer still. They entwine their fingers and stand blissfully motionless.
Feeling trapped, I push Luke away, shake his hand as if he’s a bank manager, and say, “Thanks for the dance.” I nod politely. “It was nice.” I sound like a robot; something mechanical; the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz.
“Yes. It was.” He smiles and puts his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “And thank you, Lydia.”
We stand facing each other as I calculate how fast I could run to the exit. I’m breathing heavily. Luke is still so close. Someone bumps into him from behind causing him to step forward and against me.
“Excuse me,” he says protectively taking me into his arms again, briefly, before releasing me. “It’s crowded, isn’t it? Do you want to go back to the bar? Or maybe we could take a walk somewhere quiet.”
Take a walk somewhere quiet? That is what was supposed to happen with Sheena, not me.
“Thanks for coming out tonight, Oak River,” Olly says into the mike which breaks the intimacy of the loved-up couples. “This is our last number. We love you. Be safe. Good night. See you again soon.”