10. Abril
THREE WEEKS LATER
July was chill. He was my peace. He was home. After a hard day at work, dealing with the various temperaments of my patients, I looked forward to getting home and relaxing. July was a part of that. We had been having sex for the last three weeks, at least three to four times each week.
The man was never slacking and had never disappointed me.
Sometimes it was hard and fast, other times it was slow and gentle, but he always attended to my needs and never left me lacking.
More often than not, I walked away from his bed and apartment with my legs shaking and my body drenched in sweat.
I refused to take a bath or sleep at his place. Those were the actions of lovers and people in relationships. We weren’t either of those things. We were neighbors who enjoyed using each other’s bodies for satisfaction.
He had an event that didn’t end until eleven. I promised him a hot meal and a cold drink when he got in. His eyes hung low, and I could tell he was tired when he arrived at my place.
“That was good,” he declared as he set his plate on the white and gray marbled table and sat back on the couch.
“Thanks.”
He had told me sliders and fries was his favorite meal. I rolled a blunt while he finished his soda.
“Surprised your little ass even smokes in this frou-frou ass apartment of yours,” he teased, tugging at one of my curls.
I looked around my apartment at the gray and white patterned carpet, the black walls, white drapery with black stripes, and the dove gray furniture.
Black and white, velvet striped, and polka dotted pillows sat on the couches alongside furry pink ones.
White lamps gave off soft lighting throughout the room since the overhead lights were turned off.
“I smoke out on my balcony,” I explained, standing up and heading to my balcony.
In the ivory framed mirror, I glimpsed his eyes on my ass as he followed me to the balcony. I turned my music on as we smoked a blunt and talked about our favorite artists.
“Why did your parents name you Abril?”
“It’s Spanish for April. That’s the month I was born in. April 12th. My mama liked the Spanish version better than the English. What about you?”
He smirked. “Same. I was born on July 31st. My mom’s name is January. Her birthday is January first.”
“That’s so cool,” I whispered.
After a few minutes, I was lost in my thoughts again. A tear escaped from the corner of my eye after a while.
“What’s wrong?” July asked as he leaned forward and wiped it away with his thumb.
“I saw my ex today.”
July sat back in his chair and narrowed his gaze through the smoke he released. “And?”
“He was with his wife. She walked to the other end of the counter to check out a fragrance, and I said hi to him. He acted as if he didn’t see or hear me. I spent two years of my life with a man who acted as if I never existed. He never even . . . acknowledged me.”
I took the blunt he offered and took a long pull on it before I handed it back to him. I held the smoke in and then slowly released it. I could feel the impact right away; it was some good shit. I slowly began to relax.
“Would it have made a difference if he had spoken? Was there anything that he could have said that would have alleviated your pain?”
“No. It’s just the act of being ignored that hurts. But you know what’s even worse?”
“What?”
“The fact that it still hurts after all this time.”
“You dedicated years to that man, and since the first act of betrayal, he’s treated you like your sacrifice didn’t count. The shit he did was the best gift he could’ve given you.”
“How?”
“She’s gotta put up with a nigga whose true colors she doesn’t know. She’s lying in bed every night with a man who she has no idea of the level of treachery he’s capable of. It’s gon’ get her one day when she least expects it, though, and that hurt will be the worst.”
I handed the blunt back to him. Removing my T-shirt and short shorts, I reached over to the side of the balcony and turned off my fairy lights.
I straddled July as he took a long pull of the blunt. My hand reached between us, and I removed his dick from his sweatpants. We had long since disposed of condoms after both getting tested and sharing our results of a full STD panel.
“You feel so good,” I whispered as I sunk onto July’s dick.
His lips covered mine, and he blew the smoke into my mouth. “Not quite as good as you do,” he whispered back before his teeth scraped the skin on my shoulder.
My hips gyrated on his dick, and it felt so good. I didn’t want to move too much, just enjoy the sensation of quiet, controlled movements. There was a quiet chaos even in that, and it was so sweet and perfect. We created a rhythm and choreographed a cadence of ecstasy.
As I worked his dick over, I sung the lyrics to Jovi Noelle’s “Forget Everything” as it played from my phone on the table beside us.
July’s fingers pinched the flesh at my hips, and he thrust upward. His head bent, and he took my nipple between his teeth. He tugged until I cried out softly in pain. My arms looped around his neck, urging him closer to me.
My arousal intensified as he sank his teeth deeper into my flesh. When I rocked up, July slid a finger inside of my ass and removed his teeth from my nipple. He sucked on it lovingly before he glanced up at me.
“I’m getting inside of this ass one day, beautiful.” He spoke softly in the night. His voice competed with the loud chirping of crickets and cicadas.
“No. I’m saving that for my husband.”
He smacked me on my ass. “Like I said. I’m getting inside of this ass one day.”
Fear drummed in my belly at his insinuation that he claimed that title. One hand slid up my back and cupped the back of my head, tilting it forward, while his other hand tugged my chin down. July licked my lips until I opened my mouth for him. He sucked at my tongue and whispered, “One day.”
My hips rolled in circles, and my pussy clenched tightly around him. I was on birth control, so we didn’t worry about pulling out. I climbed off him and turned to face the railing.
“What’re you doing?”
“Fuck me.”
“What?”
“Fuck me,” I demanded. The intimacy that was developing between us at the moment scared the shit out of me.
He stood behind me and covered my breasts with one hand and my pussy with the other. “If someone decides to go swimming tonight, they will see you, Abril.”
“My lights are off. Besides, if they did, I wouldn’t care.
Fuck me.” I jutted my hips back, gripped the railing, and spread my legs.
My eyes closed with the sweet sensation of his dick filling my pussy from behind.
He thrust hard up inside of me, and I felt all my worries and cares dissipate.
My hand reached back and gripped his balls.
I felt him tighten, and I knew that he was close.
July pulled me back against him, cupped my breasts, and kissed the side of my neck, even as he continued pumping furiously.
“Oh shit, July,” I groaned.
His hand dropped from my breasts, and he fingered my clitoris before he slid his fingers up and down my slit. My pussy pulsed as it came all around and down his dick. My voice was a raspy whisper as I called out repeatedly, “That’s it, July. Thank you, baby. Make me forget.”
When he pulled out of me, I pushed him back onto his chair.
His legs spread on either side of the chair, and I kneeled between them.
I took him into my mouth toward the back of my throat.
July’s hands cupped either side of my head in a tight vise grip.
Scooting to the edge of the chair, he thrust hard and impatiently into my mouth.
I took him back as far as I could go, slobbering, crying, and choking, but I did not give up.
My hands caressed his nuts before I pulled out and went down again with my jaws sucked in. My eyes lifted to meet his, and I saw the concern and worry there, so I closed my eyes again. Just as he neared the end, July shot up to his feet, and I rocked back onto the balls of mine.
He pumped hard and feverishly into my mouth, until his seed shot forward, and my throat was full of hot, salty cum. July helped me to my feet and led me back inside. I watched as he quietly gathered his phone and keys and headed to the door.
“Holla at ya later,” was all he said before he left.
I walked to the door and locked it behind him.
I heard the emptiness in his voice, saw the slump in his shoulders, and I knew that my actions hurt him.
Although we agreed it was just sex, I had never made July feel like I was using him before. Never had I felt so low.