2. Haelyn
TWO
HAELYN
“All right, talk to you tomorrow,” I said, kissing Merielle’s cold cheek when we walked out of the bar three hours later.
I thought it was freezing when I first got here, but it didn’t compare to the wind sneaking underneath my clothes now. I shivered, hugging myself tighter while my body tensed from the cold air.
Merielle looked at me from under her lashes, and I knew before she spoke that whatever she was going to say was going to be stupid.
“Why don’t you ask Eric to give you a ride? I’m sure he’ll be happy to.” She wiggled her brows, biting her bottom lip.
“I’m not even sure he has a driving license.” The thought suddenly hit me.
David opened the door to his car and stuffed my friend in, despite her heavy glare. He gave me a smile and shut the door in her face. “Are you sure you don’t want us to take you home? Or call you an Uber?”
He was a real gentleman to make sure I was getting home safe, but I was more than fine to walk back.
I nodded, glancing behind at the dark and empty path. “I’m sure. Good night.”
He rounded the car and got inside. My eyes swept over to Merielle, who made a circle out of two fingers, penetrating the hole with another.
My mouth opened, ready to criticize her last two brain cells, but I stopped short. Instead, I flipped her off and took off on the small street to my left. That way she wasn’t going to get any ideas about listing positions that I needed to do with Eric.
As much as I tried to explain I was over Josh— how could I care about someone who hurt me so much? —she still thought the only reason I wasn’t giving another man a chance was because of him.
That wasn’t true.
Whatever I had for Josh ended when I found out what he did. The good moments with him made me realize, even if too late, that I settled for so much less than I deserved. I couldn’t believe that I was grateful just to keep his bed warm for the night, simply because that’s how I felt cared for.
Not anymore.
I deserved to be loved, the real way. I deserved someone who laughed at my jokes even when they weren’t funny. I deserved someone who wanted me for the long term, not as a mere distraction.
How are you going to get that someone if you’re not even trying?
I looked up at the sky, as if God himself required an answer to the question from my inner voice. My feet came to a halt and I pressed my palms to my hips, an annoyed purse on my lips.
“Fine! I’ll download the goddamn app, but if you don’t deliver a hot, good man to my door, you’ll be the reason I’ll die alone,” I whispered, my finger pointed at the dark blanket above me.
I fished my phone out of my purse and opened the AppStore, slowly typing the app’s name.
U. N. L. O. C.K.
“You still have time to change your mind,” I murmured to myself, continuing on my path home.
It was no secret that wandering on the streets at night wasn’t the smartest idea, but I wasn’t in the mood to handle hearing Merielle ramble again or the deadly silence in an Uber.
What I needed was some time alone with my thoughts and no one to bother me.
I pressed the app’s icon when it appeared on my screen, then created a profile. The fields required my name, age, city, gender, job, and a photo.
For David’s sake, I hoped this was safe and wasn’t actually selling my information.
Five matches popped up on my phone and I hit start, my hands sweating when a conversation window opened.
What do I say now? It didn’t even show me their name, just a white icon where their photo should be.
I took a deep breath, taking my eyes off of the screen to turn onto the next street, then returned to the empty chat.
Just say something.
Me
hi!
That’s a great start, right? It’s polite, not too invasive or desperate, and it’s the normal way people start a conversation.
There wasn’t much you could say to a stranger, anyway.
When three circles jumped on my screen, I held my breath until my mouth filled with air.
Why the hell was I so nervous about this?
The air whooshed out of my mouth with a disappointed sigh when I read his text.
Unknown
Looking for a hook-up?
I rolled my eyes and didn’t waste another second before hitting the X button, closing the conversation.
What a douchebag.
Did people only hook up on this kind of app? Was the story of ‘I met your father on a dating app’ even real?
The app instantly redirected me to another chat, and this time I didn’t try to look for the perfect way to start a conversation.
Me
hi!
If this guy tried to hit on me the same way the last one did, having Merielle giving me shit about being single wasn’t as bad as spending another minute on this app.
I placed the phone in my back pocket and entered the old building I was living in. The door creaked when I pushed it open, the bottom scratching the ground. As always, it remained halfway open, guiding the wind inside.
My feet followed the steps to the first floor where I crammed my hand inside the hole in my door, untangling the wire keeping it closed.
As soon as I got inside, I put the wire back and threw myself on the couch in the middle of the small studio. At the head of the sofa, my childhood bear was watching me with his big dark eyes.
It was a gift from my father on one of his rare sober nights. Dad came into my room, holding a Christmas package even though it was summer, and said the plush toy was meant to protect me from all the bad things in this world. Little did he know, the only evil in my life was him.
I don’t even know why I kept it after all these years.
My fingers gripped his red collar as I turned him around, then took my phone out to let Merielle know I got home.
My screen opened to the new conversation on the app, and my eyebrows shot up at the other person’s message.
Unknown
Hello. Having a good night so far?
I dropped my phone between my legs, then stretched my hands to take my shoes off before throwing them on the floor. My fingers grabbed a hold of the blanket on the other side of the couch and dragged it over me after taking my phone in the other hand.
The reply was actually something I liked. He’s respectful, continuing the conversation on the same path I started, and was smart enough to act like he cared about what I did tonight.
Good start. He had a green check so far.
Me
you don’t want to know *sweat smile emoji*
I sent the message and instantly typed another when I realized that he might think I was playing hard-to-get.
me
tell me more about you
My phone pinged with a new message and my stomach did a little twirl.
Unknown
Got it. You don’t want to talk about it, so that means ‘I don’t want to know’.
A small laugh escaped my lips. He knew how to read the room.
Another green check for him.
Unknown
Like what?
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me.
Me
I don’t know *shrug emoji*
like your name?
Unknown
I can’t tell you my name.
Me
why? because you are a secret agent? *thinking emoji*
Unknown
Do you think a secret agent would have this kind of app?
Me
yeah
Would he though? I thought he would be busy catching perpetrators rather than finding his match on a dating app. So I changed my reply.
Me
okay. No *laughing emoji*
Unknown
Me neither. Now I feel like someone is reading our conversation just because you mentioned it :))) Thank you very much.
My head threw back in laughter, and I read his next message with a smile on my lips.
Unknown
I won’t tell you my name because it’s the whole point of the app. If we continue to talk, you’ll find it out eventually.
Me
then I guess we better keep talking *smile emoji*
then I guess we better keep talking ??
The only time I put my phone down was to change into two sets of pajamas, three pairs of socks, and to stuff a shirt into that hole in an attempt to stop the cold air from sweeping inside.
Once I was back on the couch, I remained glued to it. We talked until morning, and I didn’t know how we found ourselves in a discussion about work.
Unknown
I think your CV is promising. You had every job possible
He texted me once I attached my CV—after carefully hiding my personal details so I wouldn’t ruin the game for both of us.
Me
you do? *tearful emojis*
and just because I had many jobs, doesn’t mean I was good at every one of them *laughing emoji*
Unknown
I do and I also think you should apply to a few high-paid jobs as well :)
Me
funny *laughing emoji* Do you have any other good jokes?
Unknown
What do you mean? I’m serious
Me
I mean I’m not made for that kind of life
I’m built to work two jobs at once
Unknown
Nonsense. Apply to as many as you can tonight and if you don’t get an answer, then at least you know you’ve tried.
I sucked in a breath and glanced at the clock. My eyes almost flew out of their sockets.
It was 5 a.m.
When did time pass so fast?
Shit, I had a shift in the morning.
Me
omg it’s 5 AM already
we should go to sleep *yawning emoji*
Unknown
Alright, but after you submit your CV to a few companies
He wasn’t going to give up, was he?
Unknown
Here’s a list:
*20 links attached*
I can help you search for more when you wake up
Me
thank you, but I think I’ll pass *red heart emoji*
Unknown
Come onnnn
I won’t let you sleep until you do it
I laughed in the quietness of my room, biting my lip. I knew that I had no experience in that world whatsoever, but he was right. Trying wasn’t going to hurt me.
So I uploaded my CV for each one of the companies he sent me, my fingers shaking every time I clicked the submit button.
There. I’d done it. I knew I wasn’t getting a reply, but at least I could say I did it.
I sent him a screenshot.
Me
there. happy?
Unknown
Very.
I’ll let you go to sleep.
Goodnight. Talk soon
Me
goodnight *sleepy emoji*