26. Tristan
TWENTY-SIX
TRISTAN
A sigh escaped my lips as I snuck an arm under my head, dragging my knees upward. The couch was fucking uncomfortable, but that wasn’t what kept me awake after the clock hit midnight.
It was her who stole the sleep away.
Haelyn had every right to be furious at me. Just like she said, I manipulated her into coming here, then I didn’t even bother to explain the arrangements of the rooms. Truth be told, I was delaying that moment as much as possible in the hopes that she would enjoy her time here.
I sighed, massaging my temples.
This was insane. What was wrong with me? I barely knew the woman and I was acting like a possessive boyfriend.
We just met and I’ve already turned into a mad man. And maybe I wouldn’t have thought what I did was messed up if it had worked.
But it didn’t.
Lying to her about the roads was a bad mistake. She was about to find out eventually which would only dig the hole I was in even deeper, and right now, I couldn’t see how she’d relax when she didn’t feel safe around me.
If she listened… if she listened, maybe she would’ve understood my reasoning. But she had the head of a bull and refused to acknowledge any words I said.
Fuck. What the hell was I thinking, fooling her like that? Or better yet why didn't my brain work to push away the idea of bringing her somewhere where she clearly didn’t want to be?
I swung my legs over the couch and got to my feet, knowing I needed to make this right if I wanted our collaboration to work. Haelyn proved herself as a valuable employee and I didn’t want to lose her because of my mistakes. Even if that meant acting 100% professional from now on.
When I passed Sebastian and Nadia’s room, I stopped for a second to make sure they weren’t awake. Once I was positive no sound made it past their door, I made my way to the next one, knocking softly.
“Haelyn,” I said in a rough whisper, my knuckles still resting on the door. “We need to talk.”
There was a big chance she was far away, lost in dreams while I spoke to myself, but if she was awake, this couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning. I had to fix things between us.
So I knocked again, this time harder. A muffled sound reached my ears and I sucked in a breath, waiting for her to show herself. Instead, I heard her voice as she made no move to let me in.
“What do you want?” she asked in a harsh tone.
My shoulder slumped and I took my hand away, threading it to my hair. “I want to talk.”
“It’s late. We’ll have plenty of time to talk tomorrow on our way back home,” she replied.
“Please,” I insisted with a defeated and almost begging tone, knowing if we didn’t have this conversation now, I was going to probably forget everything I wanted to say. We needed to talk now. We were alone with no one to disturb us, so that meant we could talk privately without my friends’ curious asses spying on us.
She moved around the room and I was almost sure she was about to ignore me that I was about to whirl on my toes. But then, the door opened.
Haelyn stood there, with a black silky robe tightened around her body. Her feet laid naked on the floor and her hair cascaded down her shoulders.
“Can I come in?” I asked and felt how a lump lifted in my throat.
Haelyn bit her bottom lip, her red and tired eyes pointed down. She hesitated a moment and my heart skipped a beat. “Yes.”
The door opened wide in front of me and I stepped inside, sensing her close it behind my back. Her presence burned my body in a way similar to how a powerful sun would and I took a moment to stare at her bed, where a part of the blanket was thrown to the side, probably from when she got up to come to the door. The room smelled like her—that breathtaking smell of strawberries.
When I turned around, she was resting her back on the door, legs crossed over each other. She was waiting for me to say something, but at the sight of her soft skin, all my words got stuck in my throat.
Fuck, she was beautiful.
“You wanted to talk, I’m listening,” Haelyn said, watching me from over her nose.
I stepped closer, invading her privacy even though I knew I shouldn’t and her eyes rose to mine, confusion swimming in them. I stopped sooner than I wished and told her the only thing I remembered I was here for. “I apologize.”
She looked at me—the real, raw way—trying to get a hold of who I was on the inside and how true my words were, and for the first time since I met her, I let her see. Haelyn approached in a curious and shy way, but when she noticed I wasn’t about to back away, she took a deep breath. All I could do was hope that it was enough to make her believe.
Haelyn blinked, nodding her head as her palms rubbed on her forearms. “I know you didn’t mean any harm, Mr. Graves, but…” She stopped, swallowing a gulp. She wasn’t sure if she should have continued and I didn’t move to influence her. It was her choice whether she wanted to speak freely or not. “What angered me more than how you got me here was not knowing why you did it.” Her gaze turned intense and I allowed myself to get lost in her eyes, prepared to act like I was going to hear whatever she was about to say, even if something else caught my attention and not her words.
Yet she didn’t continue, and I realized she wanted me to answer a question she never asked.
Why?
What a simple question, but with such a hard answer.
Did she think I wasn’t wondering the same thing when the idea popped up in my head? Or when I picked up the phone and texted her, lying without even holding back?
I inhaled, deciding the truth was the best option I had. “I don’t know,” I said, watching her pupils to spot any reaction that might happen back there.
But Haelyn didn’t flinch. She just stared at me and because I was starting to imagine how kissing the crook of her neck would feel like—would she shiver at my touch? Would she let out a soft moan that cut the blood from circulating in my body?—if I continued.
Now, the tips of my feet were touching her, but she didn’t budge. “I don’t know,” I repeated. “I don’t know why I wanted you here or why I wanted to help. I don’t know why I feel responsible for you.” I breathed on her face and she straightened her spine. “And I don’t know why I can’t seem to stop thinking other things about you.”
My blood boiled in my veins, but it wasn’t because of anger. It was because I had never been so vulnerable in front of someone and because of the way she gave me those fuck-me eyes without even meaning to.
She was a forbidden dream I wasn’t supposed to have. Something so close to reach, yet so far away. I could feel her goosebumps on the tips of my fingers when I traced her arm, I could hear the rapid beat of her heart and the way she squirmed under me. Yet in reality, I was at a further distance than I would have liked.
“Like what?” she breathed out through her lips.
My dick hardened in my pants at the unexpected question and I ignored the urge to adjust myself in the grey sweatpants I was wearing. I shook my head, knowing it wouldn’t be right to voice my thoughts. “You don’t want to know.”
Haelyn lifted her chin. “I said I want to know why and if this is part of the answer, I’d like to hear.”
My god.
A low pleasant hum warmed my blood, and my brain fizzled at the mere thought of obeying her request. I was unable to peel my eyes off Haelyn with the short palpitations at the sight of her flushed cheeks.
Haelyn nervously moistened her dry lips and I tried to resist the urge to take it as an invitation, while my body howled in protest. Anticipation purred in my body as I leaned down the slightest, my eyes boldly raking over her.
“Like…” I started, my voice hoarse. The inappropriate scenarios I had about her were going on for too long and instead of towering over her with confidence as I would’ve with any other woman, I found myself doubting my next step.
What was wrong with me?
I internally shook my head and hooked a finger under the edge of the robe, teasing the skin behind. “If you’re wearing those panties I had in mind when I jerked off in the shower,” I admitted, flames turning in the pit of my stomach.
She sucked in a breath and I didn’t dare slide the material away to find out myself. It was wrong. Touching her was never supposed to happen, but now that I was feeling her, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stop myself.
“Yes,” she whispered, her eyes closing as I dragged my finger until it reached the spot under her neck.
My cock pulsed, begging for release and I squeezed my eyes shut, praying I’d come back to my senses and leave the fuck out of here until I broke my promise. If she let me, sleeping with her would’ve meant going back to the man I once was—the one who had a reputation for fucking every assistant passing in his office—and I couldn’t let that happen.
Haelyn was off-limits.
But when I opened my eyes and saw her open mouth and her rising chest, I forgot about why I wasn’t supposed to do this.
“I should go,” the last sane part of me said, though my hand curled the back of her neck.
Haelyn pushed herself into me. “You should,” she agreed.
I lingered for a moment, listening to our joined and erratic breaths. I tried to search in my mind for the reason why I should return to the couch, but my brain was nothing more than a cloud.
Fuck it.
I lashed at her, pushing her head to mine and smashing my lips to hers. She opened up for me, meeting my tongue halfway as she slowly melted in my grip. I swallowed her moan, biting her bottom lip between my teeth while every muscle in my body tightened.
The sound rushed directly to my dick that pulsed on her abdomen as my mouth covered hers hungrily. The way she made me feel was perilous—it was almost as if she introduced me into another world where everything I thought was enough until then, but turned out to be minimal now that I had her.
My foot took a step back as a carving ache made me release her mouth, eager to hear how her moans sounded when I wasn’t covering them. She slowly peeled her eyes open before a flash passed through.
I instantly tensed, letting her free. “I shouldn’t have done that,” I told her, even though my body begged for more of her.
We stared at each other for a while and I waited for her to give me the smallest hint about if I should’ve made my way out or stayed here. But she glanced at my lips, sucking in repeated breaths and my heart sunk with each second passing without a word from her.
When I put my hand on the doorknob, she flinched to the side, almost as if she didn’t realize we stopped kissing. I looked at her, waiting.
Come on. Tell me to stay.
No. Tell me to go. Tell me this was wrong and you don’t want to see me ever again.
Instead, she just stood there, not even sparing me a glance. So I took that as my cue to leave no matter how hard the fire in my heart burned, longing for more.
I didn’t deserve the kiss. Or her. Not after I infiltrated myself into her life like a fucking psychopath. Not after I still continued to lie. Not after I fed her the illusion of Chad.
I was a fucking asshole.
She made the right choice sending me away.