44. Tristan
FORTY-FOUR
TRISTAN
“Cielle is a headache,” Kiaran said, massaging his temples with the tip of his fingers. “She got a belly piercing, then ran away for two weeks.”
When Carter—Esmeray’s supposed-to-be husband—threatened the life of her sister, Kai let Kiaran take care of her. Even after the danger passed when Carter eventually went to prison, Cielle stayed in the same house with him in Costa Rica.
Esmeray and Cielle shared the same blood, but personally I didn’t see any resemblance between them. Esmeray was smart, kind and modest while Cielle was a rebellious kid, with a big mouth and a spoiled brat.
Plus, she hated our family too, not just her sisters. It didn’t make sense to me since she lived in a house with a Graves.
Esmeray’s mouth parted open. “I don’t understand her,” she breathed out. “But I’m done with that. Can we please not talk about her anymore?”
Kai put a comforting hand on her back as tensed air left her lungs. She offered him a smile but I could see she was affected. Esmeray had a big heart, even for those who didn’t deserve a place there.
Kiaran sighed. “She’s not that bad, I promise. You just have to give her a chance.”
With that, Esmeray got up on her feet at the table, looking down at my brother. I leaned back in my seat, not wanting to intervene for now.
“ I have to give her a chance?” She laughed sarcastically. “What about when I invited her to the Raybow’s launch party? What about when I texted her non-stop and she never replied? What about when I flew to visit her and she slept at her best friend’s house for a week?” Her eyes burned red and she placed a hand on the table. “I think I’ve tried enough and I got the message she doesn’t want me in her life. So don’t tell me I should give her a chance.”
She pushed the chair behind her with her legs, then stormed away, her heels clinking on the floor and her bow moving side to side in her hair. Kai didn’t hesitate to follow her after throwing Kiaran an ugly look.
“Fuck, man,” he whispered, planting his fist into the table. The empty plates trembled with a clink. “She never listens.”
I raised my brows. I thought he’d be mad that he upset Esmeray, but he’s pissed for a completely different reason.
My arms crossed over my chest. “I think she did, in fact, listen.”
He shook his head. “Don’t you get it?” His tone aggravated. “Her parents are brainwashing her the same way they did with Esmeray and Raven and every other child they have. They are the reason Cielle won’t get close to her sisters.”
“You’re right. Esmeray and Raven were brainwashed too, but they were smart enough to think for themselves,” I said simply.
Kiaran got up from his seat. “She’s still a kid,” he said through gritted teeth. “Have some empathy.”
I got up as well and patted him on the back, not wanting to start a fight. After all, I came here to relax and to stop thinking about a specific woman who I hadn’t talked to for two weeks now.
“You want to know why Cielle doesn’t want to have anything to do with her sisters?” I ask, but didn’t necessarily wait for a reply. “Because she’s living a comfortable life. She has your and her parents’ money. She doesn’t want to face her past and until she’s ready for that I’m not going to see her any different from a spoiled brat.”
He opened his mouth, but closed it right after. I didn’t mean to upset him. I knew he got attached to her and saw her as a little sister, even after she kept running away from home when all he wanted to do was take care of her.
But that was exactly why I didn’t like her.
“And remember, she’s not your responsibility,” I said, meaning it. Her parents have a lot of money and they can afford taking care of her.
I walked out of our house in New York, feeling Dad’s presence everywhere. A glass of rum would be delicious, but I promised myself I won’t drink. Especially when I’m with my family.
I read an article that said the first few weeks without alcohol is the hardest, but it wasn’t that way for me. Maybe because I only drank for a few months or I don’t know. But the first weeks were the easiest. I could see things clearer. I was glad I was showing up at the office without a hangover on my shoulders.
Now… now the hard part was starting. And it began until two weeks ago when any contact between Haelyn and me broke. I was dreaming about her, imagining how our next meeting could go, picturing her smile, and asking myself what she was doing.
It took everything in me not to call her. But I promised myself I would give her time.
And I thought that was a mistake. That gave her a chance to never see me again.
I fucked up.
Grunts made it to my ear and I followed the path that led me to the back garden. I stopped in my tracks, not sure what I was looking at at first.
My sister Lacey was on her palms on a training mat with one of her feet stretched toward the sky. She had a cap on and a thick jacket over her upper body.
“What are you doing?” I asked, squinting my eyes at the image.
She looked at me from between her arms, her head pointed down. “Working out when it’s cold burns more calories since your body expends energy to keep itself warm.”
My eyebrows shot up. “And what would you need to burn calories for? You’re thirteen.”
Lacey switched to the other leg, grunting. “It’s never too early to work on your body. I also found out that running slows aging and when you get out of the shower you should apply moisture, body oil, and then cream. It changed my life, really.”
I barely held myself from laughing. It appeared that she was in that period of her life where she cared too much about her appearance and learned girly things every day.
“You should try it too,” she suggested, flashing me a smile.
“For men, the math is easier,” I joked. “We wash our hair and body with the same product.”
“Ew.” She faked a gag. “And I also heard you wipe your face and ass with the same towel. Gross.”
I shook my head, turning on my toes back to the house. “Come back inside. It’s freezing.”
Of course, she ignored me and started humming god knows what song as she followed a training program on her phone. I walked with my hands in my pockets, not knowing what to do.
We usually had dinner and spent some time together, but it seemed like now everyone had different priorities than we did in the past. Kai had Esmeray, Kiaran had Cielle to look out for, and Lacey was experiencing puberty. We were all slowly growing apart.
How could we not? We lived far away from each other.
I sighed and went back to the house with only one destination in my mind.
Dad’s office.
Kai lived in this house and I couldn’t understand how. Did he ever open the door to his office? Did he ever wander inside? Did he ever spend his free time here thinking about how our lives would’ve been if he was still alive?
I took a seat on his chair after closing the door after me, inhaling the wood scent. The last time I came here, I drank… and maybe a sip wouldn’t hurt now.
Just one sip. Or one glass. One glass was going to be enough.
As I got up from my seat and my hand stretched to grab a bottle, my phone pinged in my pocket. For the past few days, every time I received a message I prayed it was her, but now I knew she was never going to text me again.
So I ignored it. For two straight minutes.
If it was her, I couldn’t take the risk of not replying. I had to know.
My eyes zeroed in on her name.
My heart pumped blood faster.
My knees weakened.
I didn’t screw it all up.