46. Haelyn
FORTY-SIX
HAELYN
The next day when I walked the steps leading inside Graves Automobile, my hands sweat despite the cold weather. My nose was runny and my cheeks hurt from the unforgiving wind.
It was a bad choice to walk here, but I needed time to calm down.
How did that work? It didn’t. If anything, it gave me more time to think and overanalyze whatever was about to happen today.
I was nervous. I regretted the moment I told Tristan I accepted his offer right away because that only proved my lack of control. I told myself I was going to keep him at a significant distance and what did I do? Jumped right into his arms.
Good job, Haelyn. Good job.
The offer was great, that I couldn’t deny. I was highly paid to do something I liked for a living, I had my own office, my ideas were going to be listened to, and yet… the mere thought of being surrounded by Tristan every second of the day threw me off.
How was I supposed to keep myself on the floating line when I was about to know everything about him—his eating hours, working hours, meeting schedule, and even when he had his dates?
I wasn’t a robot. I had feelings and my feelings were beyond scared of my tough shield cracking open slowly with each moment spent in his presence. Tristan was a dangerous man for me.
After the relationship with Josh, I told myself I was never going to forgive someone for their mistakes. They do it once, you forgive them and then theyll do it again, knowing they’ll be forgiven once again.
People never learned from their mistakes. If anything, their mistakes were a true reflection of themselves.
So I was going to act professional and forget about Tristan in a romantic way.
The elevator pinged and I walked out, offering a smile to the woman at the reception. She didn’t hesitate to return it, lowering her round glasses on the tip of her nose.
“Welcome back, Miss Ross,” she said, then turned her attention back to the computer in front of her.
How the hell did she memorize my name?
Oh. Wait. Tristan probably announced I’d be back.
“Thank you,” I breathed out, tightening the string of my bag on my shoulder.
I walked to his office, remembering when I first came here. It wasn’t too long ago, but it felt like ages. I was nervous then too and stared at his name plate for too long before gathering the courage and walking inside. The interview was short and discouraging, but now I knew why. He didn’t ask many questions because he already knew enough about me by pretending to be Chad.
Leave the past behind.
I sucked in a deep breath, knocking on his door.
“Come in.” I heard from the depths of his office.
I did as he said, finding my way inside with the small steps of a kitten. My motions were careful, reluctant, almost as if I was waiting for someone to attack me at any moment.
Why was I acting this way? We were just friends who worked together and managed to act professionally.
Right.
“Hi,” I croaked out. My voice sounded as if taken out from a movie where the woman was deeply in love with the man in front of her.
That was not the case.
Tristan looked up from the papers in front of him, bags resting under his eyes. He put the pen down and his eyes traveled all over my body. I swallowed, pretending I didn’t see.
He cleared his throat, then pointed at the chair in front of his desk. I gave him a wobbly smile, then sat down. “Things are mostly the same since you left, but there are two new things we’ll integrate this month. The first one is the project you currently know everything about, but we’ll start from scratch with professionals. I expect that we can find the right people by the end of the month—that gives us three full weeks until Christmas. And the second will require your assistance every time Ryker is around. I decided to bring him to work two times a week so he could be prepared if he ever wants to join the company.”
I nodded, relieved at how professional he was and also glad that he was involving his brother more. When he kept talking, I scooped a notebook and a pen from my bag and took some notes.
I wasn’t sure how much time we spent talking and going over the details, but if I was honest with myself, I was beyond excited. We had a long road ahead, but Tristan’s ideas seemed promising and I was there to make sure they became reality.
“Any questions?” He raised his brows once he was done.
My eyes swept to the list in my notebook. “Do you have a list of potential partners I can reach out to? Do you only want to create a race car or sell the model afterward? Do you?—”
“Yes, I do. And I don’t know yet. We have five years to figure everything out and that’s why I don’t have every detail covered now. We’ll work together until we have a perfect outline of what we want to do, then we act.”
I nodded. “Makes sense.” I folded my stuff and put them back in my bag.
“I’ve sent you a few emails with a couple of links for research, potential costs, retired drivers, and more. Gather as much information as possible and create a structured document.”
“Got it.” I got up on my feet, eager to get to the office. “On it,” I told him with a smile, then turned on my heels.
“Haelyn.” His voice echoed from behind. I took a deep breath, treating him with my back because I knew whatever he had to say wasn’t work-related. “I want to ask you something that is not professional by any means.”
My eyelids closed and my chest fell with the long exhale.
Goddamn it, Tristan. It went so smoothly until now.
Why did he have to ruin it when I really thought this was possible?
“I don’t think you should,” I breathed out, biting my bottom lip.
When the room fell quiet and he didn’t insist, I took it as my cue to walk out. My knees were shaking and my heart turned into a rapid fire of beats.
What did he want to ask? Why was I curious?
Ughhhhhhhhh.
As I got in front of my old office, I tried my fingerprint with no expectations of it actually opening it, but a buzzing sound opened the door.
Did he not hire anyone else after me? Or did he not give the office to someone else? Would he…?
I hesitantly stepped in and was met by complete darkness, cold air whooshing straight to my face. Just by the feel of it, it was clear that no one had stepped foot in this room since I left.
With a locked breath, I switched the lights on and what I saw was not what I expected to find. Apart from the fact that the office was exactly how I left it—golden blindings, golden mouse pad, a couple of books on the desk, and my strawberry gum package—if I walked just the tiniest bit forward, I would’ve tripped over the mass of roses.
They were everywhere on the floor; how did I not smell them the moment I stepped in?
I was frozen in front of the door, not sure what to do. My bag fell off my shoulder as I blinked repeatedly, hoping it was just in my imagination. Yet no matter how many times I closed and opened my eyes, the hundreds of roses were still mere inches from my feet.
A sigh fell past my lips.
Why did he have to complicate things?
The gesture was sweet—I knew that by the way my pulse skyrocketed—but it was far from professional. It didn’t matter that my knees weakened or that my untaken breath formed a lob in my throat, I wasn’t ready to forgive him.
A part of me knew I partially got over what he had done, but there was something else keeping me at distance from him. Could it be my past? Could it be the fear of failure? I didn’t know.
For all I knew, this could be a game to him. A woman who rejected him and didn’t drop to her knees the moment he apologized? A challenge. Men loved challenges and as much as my body responded to everything Tristan did, my mind decided I wasn’t going to be that for a man.
I already was a bed warmer once and a challenge wasn’t far from it.
My eyes landed on a white envelope and my lips formed into a smile, despite the heavy exhale. That body of mine was a traitor. I leaned down and took the paper in my hands, flipping it between my fingers a few times before opening it.
Haelyn,
It was strange not to have you here while you were gone and even if you didn’t stay for long, I felt your absence. Not just at work. I felt the absence of your texts, your laugh, your voice. It followed me everywhere.
I took a deep breath, my stomach turning into twirls. He wasn’t in his right mind. He was saying he missed me and I?—
The naked truth was I didn’t know what to do or how to react.
I’m glad you are back and I promise I’ll do things right this time.
I gulped. His entire note was coded. Tristan said ‘I missed you’ and ‘I’ll win you back’ with different words. I thought it was his loophole in case I was mad at him for speaking his mind.
My fingers tightened on the note and I placed it in my bag on the floor, then turned on my feet and knocked on Tristan’s door. My heart was beating in my ear like a drum and my breath sounded like a whistle, but I somehow managed to look recollected when he opened the door.
He stood there, calm and tall, glancing down at me. A sparkle was hiding behind his eyes and I knew he was curious what I had to say about the surprise in my office. I took a moment and let my eyes caress the strong edge of his jaw, the fullness of his lips, and the sharpness of his nose.
Tristan was watching me expectantly and an image of me raised on my tiptoes, my arms around his neck, and lips plastered over his flashed in my mind.
I internally shook my head.
“Thank you for the flowers,” I told him, smiling.
He nodded at me, burying his palms into his pants pockets.
“I’m glad I’m back too, Tristan,” I said, whooshing out a breath and letting my shoulders drop in defeat. “The surprise was sweet, but is it possible to not do things like that anymore? You’re misleading me when all I want is to figure out my feelings and I’m not able to do that while you keep doing cute things and act like you lost the love of your life. I need to sort things out on my own, without being influenced by everything you do.”
Tristan watched me, his eyes moving from one of mine to the other. He seemed lost in his own thoughts and just when I thought I upset him, he took a step closer.
His hands grabbed my shoulders before he spoke. “I’m sorry if that was the impression I gave you. Truly. I didn’t try to influence your feelings or anything like that, I just did what I felt,” Tristan confessed and my heart sank to the floor.
I should’ve kept my mouth shut because now, he took hold of my mind, of everything I was in that moment. I breathed out and I was glad he spoke first because I had no idea what to do.
“Everything I do is because you’re on my mind non-stop and all I can think about is how to make you smile or how to make you happy. I’m not doing all of this because I want to catch you in a trap, but because I feel so strongly for you that I don’t know what to do with those feelings. Sure, I want you to forgive me and give me another chance, but my actions are beyond that, I promise.”
For some reason, I hated that he was so sincere. I wanted him to lie, to act like a dick because it would’ve made my job easier. Now I was at battle with myself.
“Okay.” It’s what I managed to say at first. “Thank you again.” I raised on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek and my waist was instantly captured by his arms.
I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent before breaking apart.