CHAPTER FIVE
The darkness was almost pitch black, except for the sliver of light that seeped in under the door.
He could hear faint, unfamiliar voices coming from the living room and thought about calling out for help, but fear of retribution made him reconsider.
He couldn’t take the chance. It was probably the TV anyway.
Besides, whoever it was probably wouldn’t believe him. He was just a kid.
The side of his head ached, and there was a sore spot on his back. He rubbed at the two bruised areas and tears stung his eyes, not because of the physical pain but because of the way he was treated. He hated them.
Eventually, the house was quiet, and the slice of light disappeared.
He slowly turned the knob on the closet door and cracked it open.
He had no idea how long he’d been hiding.
The closet was one of his safe spaces. It was located on the first floor next to the door that led to the garage.
There was no reason to be at this end of the house unless someone was going out.
It was late, so his parents wouldn’t be near it—not that they’d be looking for him.
There was silence and darkness, so he ventured out, tiptoed through the house and up the stairs.
When he got to the landing to the second floor, it was quiet and the knot in his stomach began to loosen.
He almost made it to his room when he tripped over something on the floor.
He didn’t know what it was, but he stumbled and fell into the wall with a thud.
His parents’ bedroom door flung open, light burst into the dark hallway, and his mother’s angry face stared back at him.
“What are you doing?” She took three determined steps toward him.
His heart pounded. His eyes widened, and he inhaled a deep breath of air. Then he ran downstairs, out of the house, and into the black night.
Wolf woke up in a state of confusion with his heartbeat reverberating in his ears.
Covered in sweat and breathing hard, he found himself running toward the front door.
He stilled and looked around to reorient himself with his surroundings.
He was safe. It was his home, not his parents’ house.
Overwhelmed by the nightmare, he dropped to the floor and let the tears fall.
When would the nightmares end? When would it all be just a distant memory? There would be no going back to sleep now, and he wanted the comfort of his best friend, so he grabbed his keys and sped out of the garage without bothering to change into street clothes.
A text message at three in the morning meant either someone was drunk or something was wrong. Harris rubbed his eyes and immediately sat up when he saw Wolf’s name on the phone screen.
WOLF: I’m outside. Can I come in? Sorry to bother you. I don’t want to be alone.
Harris jumped out of bed and headed to the front door as he tapped a reply on his phone. He didn’t know what happened to cause Wolf to show up on his doorstep in the middle of the night, but he was sure it was another nightmare.
Wolf’s face looked haggard and drawn, with dark circles under his eyes, and he wore the saddest expression.
His hair, always so beautifully styled, was a matted mess, as if he’d been tossing and turning all night.
And he was dressed in only a pair of sweatpants cut into shorts and no shirt, as if he couldn’t even take the time to put on clothes.
“What happened?” Harris asked, taking hold of Wolf’s arm and pulling him into the house.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go.” Wolf kept his head down as he spoke and shuffled inside.
“Don’t be. You can come here anytime. I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the afternoon or the middle of the night. If you need me, you come over or call me. Can I get you something? Tea? Coffee? A drink?”
Wolf shook his head and finally looked up at Harris. Big, hot tears glistened in Wolf’s eyes, but didn’t fall, and deep lines framed his face as his mouth bowed down into a quivering frown.
Harris had never seen his friend like this, and it gutted him.
Without thinking or worrying about invading Wolf’s personal space, he rushed at him and hugged his friend.
He didn’t offer any soothing words, because he didn’t know what to say to make Wolf feel better.
He wanted to protect this man and shield him from all the sadness and trauma he’d endured and hugged Wolf with everything in his body.
Wolf clung to him, fisting Harris’ shirt.
The hug lasted almost a full minute before Wolf slowly loosened his embrace, but Harris didn’t want to let go. He wanted to hold this man until all the ghosts were admonished and laid to rest.
“I’m OK,” Wolf said in a low voice.
“No. You’re not.” Harris hugged Wolf tighter, fighting back his own tears.
Wolf rested his head on Harris’ shoulder and sighed.
“I don’t know what to do, Wolf, but I’m gonna try my hardest. I am.” He placed a kiss on the side of Wolf’s head.
Wolf sighed again and snuggled his face into the crook of Harris’ neck.
After a long while, Harris gently led Wolf to the couch, and they sat together, quietly, as Harris waited for Wolf to say something.
“I had a bad dream, and I just needed to get out. I didn’t want to be alone.
I was halfway to Ethan’s before I remembered Tyler lives with him now.
” Wolf started shaking his head. “I didn’t want to intrude.
I don’t want to do that to them. They deserve privacy.
Not to be burdened with my fucked-up shit. ”
“It’s not fucked-up shit. It’s real shit. You’re not a burden, Wolf. Not to Ethan and not to me. And Tyler understands that.”
Wolf smirked, as if he didn’t believe what Harris just said, and he kept his gaze in his lap.
Harris moved closer and put his arm around his friend. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Wolf quickly shook his head.
“OK. We can just sit here until you feel better. I don’t care if it takes all night.” Or the rest of our lives.
Wolf wrapped his arms around Harris’ midsection and rested his head on Harris’ chest. “Thank you.”
They stayed like that for a long time, just hugging without talking, and it felt nice. They were sharing something intimate that wasn’t sexual or romantic. They were two friends connecting on another level, growing closer.
Wolf began to relax, the tension leaving his body. Instead of his tight, stiff posture, the muscles in his arms and back softened, no longer on edge, and his breathing took on a steady rhythm instead of the short, labored breaths that made him tremble.
Harris rested his cheek on top of Wolf’s head, feeling slightly better that he was able to console his friend, but wished Wolf would talk about the shit that haunted him, or talk to someone about it. But that was a conversation for another time.
Eventually, sitting in the same position on the couch began to take a toll on Harris’ back. He knew Wolf wasn’t asleep by his breathing and frequent small movements, so he gently asked, “Do you want to go to bed? The housekeeper was here today and changed all the bedding.”
There was a pause before Wolf pulled back and looked up at Harris and nodded. His eyes still glistened, making them an ocean of bright green, and he still had the sad face of a little boy scared to death by invisible monsters under the bed or in the closet.
As they stood and started walking toward the staircase, Wolf reached out and took Harris’ hand. It felt normal, although it sent a little spark of electricity into Harris’ heart.
When they reached the landing to the second floor where the bedrooms were located, Wolf stopped. He pressed his lips together and hesitated. “Can I sleep with you? Just sleep. That’s it. I promise. I don’t want to be alone. That’s all. I’m . . . I’m spooked. I want company. I want to feel safe.”
The vulnerability in Wolf’s voice and the fear in his eyes sliced Harris to the core. He felt as if his chest were about to cave in, and he knew his face conveyed the same empathy. “Of course.”
It was awkward standing on one side of the bed with Wolf on the other, and Harris knew they both felt it. Plus, Wolf was barely dressed.
As if reading Harris’ mind, Wolf asked, “Can I borrow a T-shirt?”
“Sure.” Harris found a plain white undershirt in his drawer and handed it to Wolf, then they both slipped into bed. “All right if I turn off the lamp?”
“Yeah,” Wolf replied. After a few seconds, he started to fidget and rolled over from his back to his side and to his back again.
“Everything OK?” Harris asked.
Wolf let out a long sigh. “No.”
“Do you need something?”
Wolf sighed again. “Would you mind holding me for a bit? Just holding me,” he quickly clarified. “Until I fall asleep. I’m just scared.”
“Why are you scared? There’s nothing to be scared of.” Harris knew Wolf was upset but never thought he was frightened by something—or someone—from his past returning. “Are you worried someone is going to try to hurt you? I’ll get security here in a matter of minutes if that’s the case.”
“No. I know there’s no reason to be scared.
No one is coming to get me.” He grunted a sarcastic laugh.
“No one cared back then. They certainly don’t care now.
It’s just that when I have these dreams, all those scary feelings from when I was a kid and living with my parents come rushing back, and I can’t shake them.
The ironic thing is that they’re worse now than when it was happening.
” He scrunched up his face and shook his head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”