CHAPTER EIGHT #2
“Because.” That was all Harris could say, but he finally found his voice. “Don’t settle for that guy. He’s just looking to score because you’re a rock star. Do you want to be used like that?”
Wolf displayed a lopsided grin. “Maybe I was using him.”
“No, Wolf. Don’t belittle yourself. You deserve more respect than that. You deserve . . . you deserve . . .”
“Harris, what the hell is wrong with you? Say whatever you’re trying to say.”
He couldn’t say it. He wanted to. But he couldn’t. “I don’t know!” Harris’ hands flew in the air like a madman. “Don’t fuck around with some random dude you just met!”
Wolf’s face scrunched up as if he couldn’t have possibly heard right. “What the fuck are you talking about? Why not?”
“Because! You deserve better!” With that, Harris bolted out of the private room, forgetting that he didn’t have a bodyguard with him.
Fans surrounded him, all reaching out to touch him or talk to him, but he pushed through them.
Club security caught up to him, along with two bodyguards, before he reached the door.
“Do you need a car, Mr. Young?” one of the bodyguards asked.
“Yeah.” He answered without thinking or knowing where he was headed.
He ended up at the tour bus, which wasn’t scheduled to leave for a couple of hours, and went straight to the liquor cabinet.
They weren’t heavy drinkers, preferring beer over the hard stuff, but the bus was always stocked.
He grabbed the first bottle he saw—Johnny Walker Blue—and took a long swig from the bottle.
He choked and almost coughed it back up.
He filled a glass with ice and took the bottle back to his bunk and shut the curtain where he proceeded to berate himself for the stupid conversation he had with Wolf.
It made no sense, and he sounded like a complete asshole.
Maybe he should have blurted out, “Because I love you!” No way.
That would’ve been worse. When the time came to tell Wolf the truth, it needed to be in private not in a crowded club.
He chugged the glass full of Johnny Walker, which was significantly smoother over ice. The second glass went down just as fast, but hit him hard, and by the third glass, he passed out.
***
Motion on the bus woke Harris, and he realized they were moving.
He had no idea what time it was, and his head swam from the way the bus bounced on the road, aided by the Johnny Walker that still had an effect on him.
He stumbled out of his bunk and into the bathroom, where he promptly threw up.
It sobered him, as did the half gallon of ice water he drank in the kitchen area.
Sitting in the dining booth, he stared at the row of bunks ahead.
All of the curtains were closed, but he heard movement, so at least some of the guys were still awake.
Marshall slid into the seat across from Harris a few minutes later. “Was that you puking?”
“Yeah.” Harris ran his hand over his face. “Rough night. I’m better now. What time is it?”
“About two. We just left the club.”
“That’s it? I thought we’d be halfway to Portland by now.”
Marshall stretched in his seat and rubbed his lower back with one hand. “These bunks suck. I thought we’d get a better upgrade.”
The bunks were bigger, with thicker mattresses, but they were still bunks on a tour bus. At least they had a little more privacy and better soundproofing. Plus, they got a nice big refrigerator and a cool giant flatscreen.
The bus came to a stop, and Harris looked out the side window at the huge Chevron sign. “We’re gassing up already?”
A loud screech broke through the silence as the curtain to one of the bunks was thrown open. A dude stomped down the corridor zipping up his jeans with one hand while carrying his tennis shoes in the other. His button-down shirt was completely open showing off his bare chest.
The guy gave Harris a nod as he hurried past and exited the bus. Harris recognized him right away, and he almost fell out of the booth. It was the guy Wolf had been making out with at the club. “Did that guy just leave Wolf’s bunk?” he asked Marshall, sounding more frantic than expected.
“He sure as shit didn’t leave mine.”
Harris raced to Wolf’s bunk and stood there staring at the closed curtain as he tried to figure out what he planned on saying. He had no idea, but something needed to be said, so he’d have to figure it out on the fly, and he yanked the curtain open.
Wolf, who was lying in bed with his arms folded, wearing ear buds, jumped at the sudden intrusion. His hand went to his chest, and he exhaled a deep breath. “You almost gave me a fucking heart attack.” He tugged on one of the ear buds. “What’s up?”
Harris had no excuse for barging into Wolf’s sleeping area. He had no right to judge Wolf or tell him who he could or should sleep with. But Harris couldn’t stand by and watch it happen. Not this time. “Can I sit down for a minute?”
Wolf sat up with his back against the side wall and folded his legs underneath him, inviting Harris to take a seat on the other side of the bed.
As Harris sat down, he thought about where to begin and ended up blurting out, “Why’d you bring that guy back here?”
“Is that a joke? You know exactly why I brought that guy back here.”
“You don’t have to pick up a random guy just because you’re lonely. We’re all here, Wolf. I’m here. We can hang out together.”
Wolf squinted his left eye and tilted his head to the side while the corner of his mouth drew back in a half smile. “I don’t want to play a game of poker. I wanted to get laid.”
“Be serious. I know you only want someone to spend the night with because you don’t want to sleep alone.”
“Why can’t it be because I’m just horny?”
Harris stared at his friend for several seconds, while Wolf’s dancing eyes challenged him. But this wasn’t a joke. “I know that’s not what you want.”
Wolf raised his eyebrows. “Harris, you have no idea what I want.”
“Yes. I do.”
“OK.” Wolf folded his arms across his chest and sat back. “What do I want?”
Wolf wanted to be loved. To be held and feel safe. He wanted commitment and to be taken care of. Harris knew that in his heart, but he couldn’t say any of it. Instead, he said, “Stability.”
A small chuckle left Wolf’s mouth. “Stability? Does that mean you think I’m unstable?”
“Of course not. I mean, you don’t want to be alone. No one does.”
Wolf slowly lowered his eyes, and the half smile on his face disappeared.
Now Harris felt like shit when all he wanted to do was comfort this sweet and sensitive guy who wanted nothing more than to be loved. “It’s not that late. Do you want to watch Netflix on my laptop?”
Wolf raised his eyes, the light in them rekindled. “Animal Kingdom?”
“Yeah. We still have three seasons to go.” Before Wolf could say anything else, Harris darted across to his bunk, grabbed his laptop and returned to Wolf, who hadn’t moved.
They sat together, close enough so their thighs were touching, and shared a pair of earbuds as they quietly watched their show. Halfway into the episode, Wolf said, “I didn’t sleep with that guy.”
Harris turned to look at Wolf, surprise making his eyes widen, and he pulled the earbud from his ear. “You didn’t?”
Wolf shook his head and paused the show on the laptop.
“Why not?”
“Because.” He scrunched up his face and waved his hands around. “You got all up in my head with the shit you said at the club.”
Harris had to think back to their conversation because everything he said came out like gibberish, and nothing made sense.
“I started to wonder what the hell I was doing with my life and why I let some stranger into my bed. I started to think, who the fuck is this guy? He could have given BJs to half the guys at the club.” Wolf started shaking his head.
“I didn’t want him here anymore. So, I gave him some cash for a ride home and buzzed the driver and told him to pull over so the guy could get out. ”
Harris blinked a few times, as if he were still drunk and not hearing correctly. “You didn’t sleep with him?”
“No.”
Harris didn’t know what to say, and Wolf obviously had nothing more to say either, because he pressed the button on the laptop to resume the show and got comfortable.
Harris pretended to do the same, but his mind was racing as he micro-analyzed everything Wolf just said and what it meant.
While he was still dissecting every word, Wolf snuggled closer and leaned his head on Harris’ shoulder as he watched the episode on the laptop.
All thoughts immediately vanished from Harris’ brain, and he couldn’t think about anything else except that the two of them were sharing a bunk, practically cuddling, watching a show in the middle of the night on the tour bus.