Chapter 20
Chapter twenty
Zac
Zac reached out a finger, careful not to drop the case of Blue Moon, and pushed the glowing doorbell. The four containers of steaming hot Mexican food teetered precariously in his arms, but he managed to right the stack before Todd opened the front door of the Miller residence.
“Holy taco tower, Batman,” the tall, lean man hooted and reached out to take the top three containers. “When you said you’d bring food, I hadn’t expected you to show up with the entire taco truck.”
“I panic ordered.” Zac shrugged and followed Todd into the kitchen.
The house was silent compared to the hustle happening the night before.
Everything was still besides some dance club music playing in the spare room.
“I didn’t want to only bring food for us.
I figured the rest of your crew would be hungry. ”
Todd peeked under the thick foil of one container and inhaled the steamy scent. “Ahh, tamales.”
He pulled a couple plates from the cabinet and handed one to Zac, who asked, “Where is everyone?”
“They clocked out at five. The reno is way ahead of schedule, so I told them to pack it in for some r and r. Now it’s just little old me.” He raised a bite to his mouth and then paused. “I don’t mean old, old. I’m barely a whisper past thirty of course.”
“Noted.” Zac nodded, dishing up his plate with tacos, rice, beans, and a huge scoop of guacamole. They each snagged a beer and made for the back porch.
A few minutes of companionable silence and half a plate of food later and Zac felt an intense set of eyes boring into the side of his face. He took a swig of his beer.
“Can I help you?” he asked after wiping a dribble off his beard.
“I can’t figure you out,” Todd mumbled to himself.
“What's to figure out?” Zac didn’t need to be figured out. He merely needed something to do.
“Let me clarify.” Todd set his plate down on the wrought iron table next to his patio chair and turned fully toward his dining companion. “I had you figured out.”
“When?” But he stiffened, knowing full well what was coming.
“At the wedding festivities last December.” Todd took a long pull from his beer bottle, watching the other man intently.
Jonathan and Lucy’s wedding marked the moment Zac had hit absolute rock bottom.
He’d gotten drunk, allowed best-man jealousy to cloud his judgment, and then focused his frustration on Frankie.
Sure, he’d hit on her before by throwing out cheesy lines and openly expressing his interest in her.
He’d always been playful, maybe a little cringy.
But he’d never crossed the line into crude or disrespectful territory.
Until the reception.
I have to know. Did you fuck him?
Frankie had been so shocked by his words.
She’d just been through hell: getting caught in a blizzard and stranded in a ramshackle little cabin for days with a guy she seemed to loathe.
What she needed was support from her friends, not for one of them to make crude comments about her private choices.
I imagine you need a pallet cleanser after subjecting yourself to the rigid and unimaginative sex that walking wet blanket gave you.
He’d held her closely. One of his closest friends. Someone from the only family that ever really gave a fuck about him. Trapping her firmly against him on the dance floor, invading her space when it was so unwanted.
Zac shook his head, swallowing down the disgust that rose in his throat. He looked at Todd, whose expression was soft instead of accusatory.
I don’t deserve it.
“I’m trying to be better,” Zac stated plainly, washing the hopeless words down with the last of his Blue Moon.
“And what would that look like?” Todd leaned back and crossed his legs. His ankle rested on the opposite knee, revealing forest-green socks with a black silhouette of evergreen trees and sasquatch.
He replayed Todd’s question and shook his head again. “You trying to play Dr. Phil with me or something?”
“I prefer Dr. Ruth, if you please.” He chuckled. “But really, what would that look like?”
This wasn’t why Zac had come over here. He’d wanted to help Todd with the renovation not dissect the workings of his inner torment.
Or worse, replay the night of the wedding reception.
He’d spent so much time punishing himself for his actions, and while he didn’t deserve to be let off the hook, he also didn’t feel like a self-induced flogging.
He didn’t know if Todd was looking for some immense statement of personal growth, a detailed set of SMART goals, or a tear-filled emotional unload.
But all Zac wanted was to make amends. One step at a time.
Starting with taking some duties off the plates of the parents-to-be.
And keeping his hands off Tabitha while she was in town.
Followed up with helping Todd renovate Jon’s house.
“Look,” Zac said with a deep sigh. “I’m not in the most talkative mood, so let’s leave it alone for now, ok?”
Todd eyed him from head to toe, making Zac feel like another project to be renovated. But he was already working on it himself. And he didn’t need someone else’s help.
Zac continued, “But I’m happy to hear how things have been with you. How’s the show been? Any new men in your life? Lay it on me. I’m a great listener.”
Todd beamed. His dark brown eyes glimmering at the request.
They finished dinner and then moved to the spare room or the “nursery chalet” as Todd called it, all the while Zac listened as the other man recounted his latest drag performances, including an embarrassing moment involving an eye full of glitter and a rogue breast plate.
Zac didn’t mind the chatter. In fact, he enjoyed it, feeling grateful to have something to focus on other than regrets from the past.