Chapter 7
Unknown number: I think we should lay down some ground rules.
Harper: Um, who is this?
Unknown number: Easton. Westermann? You literally just gave me your number like an hour ago.
Harper: I know, I was kidding. I’m trying to be funny.
Easton: You know you can still let me off the hook, right? Coz I would really rather not be on the prom decorating committee.
Harper: We already worked out the details of our agreement.
Easton: You’re actually going to call it an AGREEMENT?
Harper: Blackmail sounds so icky…
Easton: OMG. You need people because only losers aka people with free time are on the decorating committee.
Harper: Ouch, that stung a little. But actually, that is false. We have PLENTY of cool people on the decorating committee—I just happen to need help painting the knights.
Easton: Knights????
Harper: Did you not know the theme is Knight Under the Stars? Isn’t that fun?
Easton: If you say so.
Harper: You were planning on going, right?
Easton: NO. I was not.
Harper: Why would you miss your senior prom???
Easton: Um, because I DON’T CARE about it. For one. For another, my friends and I were going to see Star Warriors 3.
Harper: Your friends are going to prom.
Easton: I have friends that don’t go to Lancer, Miss Know-It-All.
Harper: Oh. Well, in that case, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…
Easton: Can you blame me for being pissed right now?
Harper: I mean—I did you a favor, now you can do ME a favor.
Easton: I literally do not have time to be on a decorating committee.
Harper: You literally do, hockey season is over.
Easton: Ha, hockey season never ends—go ahead and ask my mom. LOL I train and I’m on the track team and I work out to stay in shape so I don’t shit the bed when I’m a freshman at college.
Harper: Wow. Shit the bed?? LOL
Easton: Don’t act offended, you swore at me twice last night.
Harper: I did not!!
Easton: You did! I counted. Anyway, that’s not why I’m texting you.
Harper: Are you going to make me scroll back and look at your original message?
Easton: No. The point was, I think we should have some rules. That should be in your wheelhouse, seems like something you like. Rules.
Harper: What makes you say that?
Easton: You’re a goody-goody, that’s why. The kind of girl who rats people out for cheating on a test or gets pissed in class because someone talks without raising their hand.
Harper: Well yeah, because you’re supposed to raise your hand.
Easton: Anyway. Rules.
Harper: Yes, okay. Go on about your rules…
Easton: Would you prefer GUIDELINES?
Harper: Whatever you prefer, these are YOUR rules.
Easton: So, I was thinking. Rule 1: No discussing this arrangement in public. At all. We can discuss it in private, behind closed doors ONLY, when no one else is around.
Harper: Ohhhh you plan on being alone with me, behind closed doors? Nice.
Easton: Shut up—that’s not what I meant.
Harper: I’m teasing OBVIOUSLY. Jeez.
Easton: Oh, now you know how to tease?
Harper: What’s your problem? Why are you being so salty?
Easton: Gee, I don’t know, only that one of my classmates is extorting me for her own nefarious purposes.
Harper: …
Easton: …what.
Harper: I’m unpacking all the big words you used in that sentence. I’m actually impressed.
Easton: **Ignoring your snark**
Harper: I agree to NOT discuss the AGREEMENT in any way, shape, or form in public, so help me gawd.
Harper: Wait. What about when we’re at our lockers?
Easton: PUBLIC. Any public!
Harper: Whoa! I got it, I got it, sheesh, I was clarifying, calm down.
Easton: Can we move on to Rule 2?
Harper: By all means, please do…
Easton: How are we going to explain this sudden friendship? People are going to think we like each other or that we’re dating or whatever.
Harper: What people?
Easton: Our friends. People.
Harper: People like…Maddie Miller?
Easton: Don’t put words in my mouth. There is nothing between Maddie Miller and me.
Harper: **There’s nothing between Maddie Miller and I.
Easton: Did you just correct my sentence? Because my sentence was correct.
Harper: Bad gramer is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Easton: **Grammar
Harper: Oh my god.
Easton: Yeah, that’s what I thought…
Harper: Getting back to these “people” who might think we’re a couple…
Easton: What’s our cover story?
Harper: Why do we need a cover story? Two people can be friends.
Easton: We can’t. I’ve literally never said your name to anyone a day in my life.
Harper: My gawd, why are guys SO dramatic. This is a you problem, not a me problem.
Harper: Besides, the deal was that you’re supposed to act happy to be my date, REMEMBER?
Easton: It just feels too random. I’ve never mentioned you to a single soul.
Harper: I’ll try not to take offense at that. **clears throat** Easton, as you pointed out—your locker is literally right next to mine. Obviously we spend time together.
Easton: Glaring at me and roasting me at my locker is NOT spending time with me.
Harper: Noted.
Harper: But doesn’t it stand to reason that we might have become friends because our lockers are next to each other’s??
Easton: No.
Harper: I can’t roll my eyes hard enough at this.
Easton: Of course you’re rolling your eyes.
Harper: Okay, so you want a backstory…aka COVER story to explain why we’re hanging out. Hmmm. Let me think.
Easton: Waiting…
Harper: Feel free to PITCH IN any ideas **eye roll**
Easton: I don’t know, we can say our moms are friends now and force us to hang out.
Harper: Eh. We can do better.
Easton: …
Harper: What if we tell people (even though zero people will ask) that we both are on the decorating committee?
Easton: No dude is going to believe I voluntarily committed myself to that committee. I don’t even do the fundraisers for the hockey team. Next bad idea, go.
Harper: Um…I don’t know, let’s just say we talk at our locker. That seems the most logical and realistic. Then when you ask me to prom no one will be surprised.
Easton: How fancy are we talking here?
Harper: I mean, everyone gets asked these days. Even Marcus did a promposal for Macy.
Easton: I am NOT doing one of those lame-ass proposal things! No. I would rather suffer at the hands of my parents or go to jail.
Harper: LOLOL you’d rather go to JAIL than do a promposal?
Easton: Yes.
Harper: OMG you’re such a drama queen.
Easton: Can we not talk about this right now, I’m getting hives. I feel itchy all over.
Harper: Fine. Are there any other rules you want to talk about or were the first two the only ones you could think of?
Easton: Rule 3: No making up random rules to suit yourself.
Harper: Oh. You mean the same way you’re doing right now?
Easton: Hey, I’m the victim here!
Harper: The victim of WHAT?
Easton: Extortion! Have you already forgotten?
Harper: **files fingernails**
Easton: Rule 4: No PDA.
Harper: Um, NO PROBLEM THERE. Agree.
Easton: Okay, now I’m kind of offended you agreed so quickly.
Harper: You should be.
Easton: I am.
Harper: Good. Keep your hands to yourself.
Easton: NOT A PROBLEM.
Harper: Rule 5: Be nice.
Easton: Rule 6: But not too nice.
Harper: Wow. We’re good at this.
Easton: Rule 7: I’ll agree to this decorating business but I’m not actually going to decorate.
Harper: That isn’t fair.
Easton: Forcing me to be your prom date under threat of jail time isn’t fair.
Harper: Rule 8: You cannot keep constantly bringing up the fact that our agreement might not be aboveboard.
Easton: Why not?
Harper: It makes me feel like a shitty person and a crappy human.
Easton: Rule 8: I won’t constantly keep bringing up the fact that our agreement isn’t aboveboard…if you help me learn how to…you know. Talk to girls.
Harper: What do you mean you want to learn how to talk to girls? You talk to me just fine.
Easton: You know—actual girls I’m interested in who aren’t blackmailing me.
Harper: Wow. Ouch.
Easton: That came out all wrong.
Harper: You don’t say…
Easton: I help you out, you help me out, everyone wins.
Harper: But you’re still going to be my prom date?
Easton: Obviously.
Harper: Okay.
Easton: You have to say “We have a deal.”
Harper: Do I actually?
Easton: You have to put it in writing so it’s a binding contract.
Harper: Fine. WE HAVE A DEAL. Are you happy?
Easton: As happy as I can possibly be under the circumstances…