13. Ghosted
Ghosted
BETTY
“Why the long face?” My brother Keir teased.
I slumped on the couch by my brother. A very sleepy five-month-old, Alexandra, named after Ingrid’s queenly older sister, lay on his chest.
“Nothing,” I said.
“I’m not buying it.”
I shot him daggers and crossed my arms. It wasn’t nothing, but it also wasn’t like my horse died or I’d been kicked off the squad.
Professionally, I was having the season I waited years for.
Internally, I was melting down after radio silence from a woman I thought adored me.
Why had I let her get to me? Why did I hold her to a higher standard than any other one-night stand?
“What happened? C’mon, Bets, you can tell me.”
“You know I hate that, right? I’m not even a full two years younger than your wife.”
He rolled his eyes. “Betty, you will always be my baby sister, so just shut up. I’m serious. You’ve looked down for like three days. And you’re not the one who fell off the horse.”
Ingrid came off in the water on a green horse two days ago. Keir acted like her very life was at risk.
“She’s going to fall, Keir,” I said. “It’s part of the job. And you never care when Cici and I fall.”
“You and Cici aren’t the mother of my children,” Keir said. “I love you both, too, but it hits totally different.”
“Fair,” I agreed, “But she’s fine, bro. Nah. It’s not from a lack of confidence on horseback. It’s just… I… nah. I am not doing this with you.”
He laughed. “Oh, does this have to do with whatever clandestine hookup you had that made you appear at our door minutes before you were already supposed to be at the showgrounds?”
I glared.
“I do realize you have a life, sister. It’s okay. I mean, it makes me want to punt the guy who hurt you, but it’s fine.”
It’s not a guy.
“I’m not getting into it,” I said. “I just really trusted this person even if I had no reason to. I’ve been ghosted, I guess.”
“How long has it been?”
“You act like you understand how this works, mister I’ve been love drunk for a decade with my best friend.”
“If after a decade you haven’t moved on—”
“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I’m over that. But I think you have little sage dating advice.”
“Since I used to be a fuckboy—”
“Oh my God, that is cringe!”
“Well, what would you call me? I was a POS. Look, I wouldn’t worry about it unless it goes on for days—”
“It has been two days.”
The baby farted loudly, breaking the tension and giving us a laugh.
“Two days is… not good. Unless he’s like deployed?”
“Negative. Not everyone is a pilot living in a stupid barracks,” I said.
I knew she was on the road, but also that Mary wasn’t on another planet. Why couldn’t she bother to just say hello? When I left her that morning, I felt so good. Did she lie to be polite? Did I not mean anything to her?
“It’s stupid, like I said. It was just a hookup, even if it felt like more. I’m just fucking delulu.”
Keir furrowed his brow. “Being completely wrapped up in someone is what makes life worth living. It’s not stupid.”
“And yet? Good luck to me. I’m going to die alone! All I do is chase the wrong type of person repeatedly.”
Keir sighed, “Kid, it took me until my mid-thirties to know what I wanted. And even then, I almost fucked it up with Ingrid.”
“I know. If Lars and I hadn’t forced the issue, would you have ever gotten back together?”
“You know what I love about you, Bets? You’re so bloody humble!”
I snickered.
“You have tons of time.”
“I have a biological clock that is counting the minutes, Keir.”
“Fine. But if Leah can have a baby at thirty-five and Mom can have one in her early forties, I think you have little to worry about.”
“And Cici?”
He let out a long, slow grown. “Some people struggle. Some people can’t.
It fucking sucks. But if Leah can somehow conceive a baby in the bathroom with a turkey baster or whatever the fuck that was, there are other ways.
Cici’s issue is she’s going to be queen.
She and Isak are… limited. You’re ten steps ahead as ever, friend. You need to find the person.”
“I know. That can take its time,” I said. “But I want what all of you have.”
“Which is? A baby with gas?”
“No,” I laughed. “A love for the ages where you do all sorts of stupid shit, say the wrong things, and let life get messy.”
“I promise that if even I can fucking manage it, you can, sweet sister. You deserve all of that and more.”
“So if I want a disaster?”
“You’ll get it. Hopefully gassy baby and all.”