Chapter 2
TATUM
My heart throbs as I listen to the door click closed.
I knew Brandon wouldn’t take the news of my transfer well, but I’d hoped he’d at least understand. I love Brandon. He’s been everything to me for years. But I need more. I want more.
All through high school, guys never looked twice at me.
For a long time, I assumed it was me?that they just didn’t want me.
But since dating Ethan, I’ve gained a new perspective and it has me wondering.
Was the real reason no one ever asked me out because they couldn’t understand my friendship with the cornerback?
Most people, guys included, assumed we were more than platonic.
Were men hesitant to approach me with Brandon constantly at my side?
Is it a complete and total coincidence that the one summer I spent without him is the one I finally met someone?
I bite my lip as I turn to the sound of my buzzing phone. I’ve finally found someone who sees a future with me as more than their full-time buddy. Can he blame me for wanting that?
I swipe my phone off the coffee table and answer. “Hey,” I breathe out a sigh.
“It took you a while to answer,” Ethan says, his voice clipped.
“Um, yeah. I was seeing Brandon out,” I say, trying to reassure him because I can’t imagine how I’d feel if the tables were turned and his best friend were a girl, and we were an hour apart. “He just left.”
“Did you tell him about transferring?”
“I did.”
“And . . .?”
The question hangs between us as I think about Brandon’s reaction.
I curl my legs beneath me, fingers toying with the frayed edge of my sweatshirt. “He was a little upset, but once he thinks it over, I’m sure he’ll be on board.”
Honestly, the news may have been abrupt, but I’m surprised he cared so much.
He has plenty to keep him busy between classes, his friends, and his insane football schedule.
Unlike me, who only has class and him to occupy my time.
For as long as I can remember, my days?my weeks?have been filled with Brandon.
“You know you don’t need his approval, right?” Ethan says, breaking through my thoughts.
“I know. It’s just . . . we’ve been friends for so long, and he’s important to me.”
“Maybe that’s the problem,” Ethan cuts in, his voice hardening. “Like I’ve said, forever is a long time to be ‘just friends’ with someone. Especially when that someone is a football player who probably has girls throwing themselves at him.”
I frown, unsure what he’s implying.
“It’s not like that between us,” I say, hoping to ease his fears. Ethan’s been cheated on in the past, so I get why he’d be a little concerned about my unorthodox friendship, and the last thing I want is for him to worry there might be something more going on.
“I hope you’re right,” Ethan says, but I can tell by his tone that he doesn’t believe me. “Because I gotta say, Tatum, when he showed up at your place to help you move back to campus, the way he looked at you . . . well, it looked a whole hell of a lot like he wants more from you than friendship.”
I snort because I might be falling for Ethan, but he’s delusional. “I promise you, you’re wrong. Brandon has dated plenty of girls throughout the years, and never once has he made a move on me.”
And Lord knows he’s had plenty of opportunity. Hell, I’ve been right here, at his side, for years. Surely, if Ethan was right, Brandon would’ve shown some sign. Said something. Done something.
I shake the thought off, chalking Ethan’s concern up to nothing more than fears and insecurities from his past relationship.
“Look, I get it,” I say softly into the phone, settling deeper into the couch cushions.
“You’re not here with me, and you’ve been burned before.
But you have nothing to worry about. Brandon and I have been through everything together—breakups, fights, family drama, injuries, you name it.
If there was going to be something romantic between us, it would’ve happened long ago. ”
Ethan sighs over the line, and I hear rustling in the background before he says, “You’re probably right. I’m sorry. Forgive me for being a jealous asshole?”
I can’t help but smile. “You’re forgiven.”
“Man, I miss you. It’s just good to hear your voice.”
“I miss you, too,” I say as my insides swell.
“I know you’re only an hour’s drive away, but I hate that I can’t just stop by whenever I want and see you. I hate not being able to kiss you every single day. Or hold your hand. Or hear your laugh.”
“Stop.” I bite my lip, wondering if it’ll ever get old hearing a man like Ethan say how much he wants me.
“I’m serious. It’s only been three months, but I see this going somewhere, Tatum. Beyond college.”
“You do?” I ask, my voice a throaty rasp.
He answers with a low chuckle. “Why do you think I want you to transfer so bad? I want to start building our life now. I want all my friends at school to meet you. To show you all my favorite haunts and make new memories with you. I want you in all parts of my life, not just the stolen weekends.”
His words wrap around me like a weighted blanket, warm and comforting and secure. This is what I’ve wanted—someone who’s certain about me, who doesn’t hesitate to say how they feel.
But Brandon won’t be there . . .
The thought halts the warmth spreading through my limbs. Instead, it catches inside my throat like a burr.
He’s been involved in every single facet of my life for so long, I can’t imagine a world in which he’s not my center of gravity, and for the first time since Ethan asked me to transfer schools to be with him, I wonder if I can actually do it. If I can leave Brandon behind.
I swallow hard, trying to dislodge the feeling into the gaping silence.
“Tatum? You still there?”
“Uh, yeah. Of course.” I clear my throat. “I want that, too.”
“You sure, because it’s not too late?”
“I’m sure,” I say, rushing to reassure him. “Look, I hate to do this, but I should probably go. I have a paper I need to work on, and it’s getting late. If I don’t start now, I’ll wind up going straight to bed without doing anything.”
“So responsible,” he says, and I can’t tell if he’s teasing or if it’s a dig. “Call me tomorrow?”
“Sure thing,” I say, then I hang up and toss the phone on the couch beside me, flopping back into the soft cushions with a huff.
I stare at the ceiling, my thoughts swirling like leaves caught in the wind.
The conversation with Brandon keeps replaying in my mind—the way his face fell when I mentioned transferring, how he couldn’t even look at me when he left.
I’ve never seen him like that before, and it’s making my stomach churn with guilt.
Maybe I should have eased into the news about transferring instead of just blurting it out. But how do you gently tell your best friend you’re planning to leave them?
I close my eyes, replaying the last half hour in my head. Brandon’s reaction versus Ethan’s expectations. The stark contrast between them has my stomach twisting in knots.
Am I making a mistake? I pull my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
Transferring to Michigan State would mean starting over—new campus, new friends, new everything.
Brandon has been my sidekick for so long, I’m not sure what life without him constantly at my side looks like.
But staying means risking the first relationship I’ve ever had, one that has the potential to go somewhere.
It means continuing to play the role of Brandon’s best friend because if I’m being honest with myself, the life I’ve built in Ann Arbor revolves solely around him.
His friends. His hangouts. His games on the weekends.
All because he’s always been enough. I’ve never wanted or needed anything beyond what we have.
Until now.
And now I want them both.
The thought slips in before I can stop it.
I stare at my phone on the cushion, then at the door Brandon just walked through, and something inside me fractures. The space between those two points—between the man who wants me to come to him and the one who’s always been at my side—suddenly seems impossible to bridge.
I wonder if it’s even possible to have both. To keep Brandon in my life exactly as he is now while building something with Ethan. Is that selfish? To want my best friend and my boyfriend without having to choose between them?