Chapter 19
brANDON
“Fuck. I’m so hungry, I could eat a cow.” Chris stares at the menu, eyes bright as he pops a tortilla chip in his mouth.
“Coach worked us into the ground,” Damon says, draining his water glass in three swallows. “Not that you would know.”
I flip him the bird, and he smirks.
“All-in-all, a three-game suspension isn’t all that bad,” Jace says.
He’s right. Sitting the bench for three weeks and being banned from team training and conditioning sucks, but it could be worse. Much worse. Still, the lack of gym time with my boys is fucking killing me because I have no outlet for my frustration with Tatum.
“I guess I’m lucky he didn’t press charges,” I say, even though I don’t feel lucky.
“Not sure how you pulled it off, considering how much he hates you,” West says.
“Have you seen her yet?” Chris asks, lowering his menu.
Seen her? I haven’t even heard from her.
I pop a chip in my mouth, not trusting myself to speak as I shake my head in answer, because it’s been two weeks.
Two fucking weeks since I saw Tatum last. Fourteen days of my texts left on Read and my calls unanswered.
It’s to the point where I call just to hear her voicemail, and every second of silence carves out another little piece of my heart.
“She’s full-on ghosting you?” West asks, leaning back in the booth.
“Haven’t heard a peep from her since the day at Java the Hutt. It’s like she’s disappeared off the fucking planet. If it weren’t for her yellow bug parked in the student lot, I’d think she transferred schools already.”
“You looked for her car?” Jace asks.
“Hell yes, I looked for her car,” I snap. “I’m fucking dying here!”
“Have you gone to her room?” Jace asks, and I roll my eyes.
“Of course I’ve gone to her room. Every single time, her roommate says she’s out.” I shake my head, pushing past the lump in my throat. “She’s lying through her teeth; she has to be, but it’s not like I can do anything about it.”
And the thought she might be hiding inside while her roommate turns me away like some stray fucking dog, absolutely kills me.
I have no doubt she’s been spending her weekends with Ethan, but what about the rest of the week? Tatum has straight up gone AWOL, and I only have myself to blame.
She warned me not to go after him, but I didn’t listen.
Not that I regret it, because I’d do it again in a heartbeat just to teach that fucker a lesson.
Only now, you have no idea if she’s safe.
I growl and shove the chips aside, suddenly not hungry.
“I don’t know,” Damon says. “Maybe she is actually out.”
I shoot him a look to cut the shit. “To think that I was this close to telling her I’m in love with her,” I say, holding my fingers a hairsbreadth apart.
Every night when I go to bed, our conversation haunts me?the what-ifs and the alternate possibilities. Had I just gotten those three tiny words out before I saw her bruised arms, would it have changed things? Would she still be ignoring me?
“I just don’t get why she’s this mad,” I grumble, taking a pull on my ice water.
“Um, you mangled her boyfriend’s face,” Jace says.
“After she told you not to,” Damon points out.
“Do I have to remind you that he touched her first?” I ask, scowling at the two of them. Whose side are they fucking on?
Jace raises his hands in surrender. “Not saying I would’ve done anything differently.”
“Are you worried about her safety?” West asks. “Or do you think there’s any chance it truly was a one-time thing?”
My jaw tightens. “You have to really squeeze someone’s arms fucking hard to leave those kinds of marks, and my gut tells me that if he’s hurt her once, he’ll do it again.”
“Dude certainly seems like a control freak,” Damon mutters.
“You’re keeping an eye on her?” I ask, glancing between them.
All four of them nod. “I’ve been checking up on her through Charlotte,” Chris says.
“Same with Avery,” Damon chimes in.
“And Brynn.” Jace grabs the back of his neck, wincing when he adds, “So far, the consensus seems to be she’s busy but happy.”
I try not to show how fucking much those words hurt, but they cut like the sharpest of blades.
Happy.
Without me.
Impossible.
The words can’t be right. After ten years of friendship, this can’t be how it ends. Over another man. Because I defended her. Because I care so fucking much.
My feelings for her are like an anchor in my chest, weighing me down.
Well, I refuse to accept her silence. Refuse to let her go without a fight.
I might be a lot of things—impulsive and foolish and stupid and headstrong—but I’m not a quitter.
The rest of the week passes in a blur of missed opportunities. Every time I try to track Tatum down, she dodges me. After class, at the dorms, even her daily Java runs have seemingly changed, and without football to distract me, I’m going fucking crazy.
By the time Friday night rolls around, even I’m sick of my moping and whining.
The guys are avoiding me, and I can’t say I blame them.
I’m like a lost dog without her?pathetic and desperate, just ambling through my days, taking whatever scraps of intel the guys give me.
So, when I catch wind of a girls’ night, I jump at the opportunity, certain this is my chance to confront her.
With any luck Jace, Chris, and Damon did their part and convinced the girls to let us tag along.
The sun has set by the time I head from my apartment two floors down to Chris and Jace’s place.
If all goes well, I’ll see Tatum, and with any luck, I’ll make her realize she can’t avoid me forever.
She might be mad at me for flying off the handle and confronting Ethan?okay, maybe it wasn’t quite a confrontation and more a surprise assault?but we’re best friends.
Our relationship isn’t disposable. No matter how she feels about me or who her boyfriend is, we don’t cut each other out of our lives—ever—and despite my feelings for her, I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.
I knock twice, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, my stomach tied in knots as the door swings open, and Jace stands there, a plate of food in hand.
“About time. We were starting to think you’d bailed,” he says around a bite of General Tso’s chicken.
“The girls here?” I ask, keeping my voice low.
“They’re leaving any minute to pick up the others,” he whispers.
I take a deep breath and step into the apartment prepared for the potential lashing I might get, unsure of what, if anything, Tatum has told the girls about my impromptu visit to Michigan State.
The small apartment smells faintly of Chinese takeout, and I find the rest of my friends sprawled across the furniture.
Chris and West are arguing about some play from last week’s game while Damon leans into Avery, talking softly into her ear like a lovesick puppy.
On the couch, Charlotte is curled up next to Chris, talking animatedly to Brynn, and when I pause in front of the coffee table, all eyes focus on me.
The room falls quiet, bringing with it a heaviness in my chest that has nothing to do with physical exhaustion and everything to do with missing Tatum.
She should be here.
With me.
Exhaling, I tip my chin in greeting, somewhat relieved when Charlotte offers me a smile. “Brandon, hey. I’m glad you’re joining the guys tonight and not staying at your place alone.”
I glance over at Chris, eyes narrowed because that doesn’t sound like the plan we discussed. On the bright side, it seems Tatum hasn’t trash-talked me, which I take as a good sign. Maybe she’s not as angry as I feared.
Then why is she ghosting you, dumbass?
“Yeah. It’s been a pretty rough couple of weeks,” I say, scratching the side of my head. The truth is, I’ve been like a zombie ever since I returned from popping Ethan in the nose and received a text from Tate that said: Are you kidding me right now? Ethan said you broke his nose!
“I’m sure time with the boys will help,” Avery chimes in.
Brynn rises to her feet. “Speaking of, we have a girls’ night to get to, so we’ll leave you to it.”
My gaze jerks to Chris, who pulls Charlotte in for a kiss while I burn holes through the side of his face. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back later,” she murmurs into his lips, and my hands curl into fists.
Once he’s done sucking face, Charlotte makes her way to the door as I mouth, What the hell are we doing?
I thought the whole point of tonight was to convince the girls to let us crash their ladies’ night?
I stand there, fuming as they say goodbye, but the second the women disappear, I whirl on him. “Um, hello?” I say, two seconds away from losing my shit. “Aren’t we supposed to go with them?”
“Shhhh!” Chris hisses, placing a finger over his lips, ear cocked like a fucking bird dog. “They might hear you,” he whispers, holding up a finger for me to wait.
I grind my teeth together, counting every second that passes for three whole minutes before he breathes out a sigh of relief and says, “Okay, it’s safe.”
“Safe?” I shout. “I thought the plan was for you two boneheads to convince Charlotte and Brynn to let us tag along, so I could confront Tate and get her to talk to me.”
“Yeah, I tried that.” Chris shrugs.
“And?” I say with the sweep of a hand.
“And she wasn’t having it,” he says, lifting the Gatorade in his hand to his lips with a shake of his head.
“And you?” I spin on my heels, eyes narrowed on Jace. “What’s your excuse?”
“Brynn was really tight-lipped about the whole night.” My scowl deepens. “I’m telling you,” he continues, “it was like trying to pry information from a corpse.”
I glance at Damon for help, but he just shrugs and says, “They’re locked down like Fort Knox.”
I growl and rake a hand through my hair. “You guys couldn’t coerce them somehow? Maybe, you know, withhold sexual favors or something.”
“Ha! You’re funny,” Chris says, wagging his finger.
“You think we hold the power in our relationships?” Jace snorts.
“That’s cute.” Damon laughs.
I glance at West who holds up his hands. “Don’t look at me. I’m single.”
“Great. Just fucking great.”
“Oh, ye of little faith.” Chris sets his drink down, his blue eyes sparkling as he takes a step toward me and slaps a hand over my shoulder. “The Love Doctor is in the house. Do you really think I don’t have a plan?”
So far, Chris’s advice has been the opposite of helpful. After all, the moment I decided to abandon the supportive best friend role, everything went to shit. But I’m desperate, and before I can stop myself, I’m saying, “Let’s hear it.”
He grins. “We’re going to follow them.”
“What?” I wrinkle my nose.
“Here we go,” Jace mutters.
“We follow them to wherever they’re going, bide our time, then make our way inside,” Chris says, ignoring him. “Imagine our surprise when we accidentally run into them.”
“But they think we’re spending the night in,” Jace says.
“We were spending the night in, but Brandon, like the lovesick puppy he is, was wallowing so much, we decided to go out. Take his mind off everything. Find a distraction.”
I nod, thinking it over. “I like it. It could work.”
“I don’t. I don’t fucking like it at all because the girls will see right through it,” Damon weighs in, his face etched in concern.
“I agree.” Jace shakes his head. “This has the soccer party with Charlotte and—what was his name?” Jace frowns, snapping his fingers, beckoning us to help him out.
“Danger,” West chimes in.
“Yes! Thank you.” Jace points. “This is like when we crashed the party with Charlotte and Danger.”
“Forget that douchebag! This is nothing like that,” Chris snaps.
Jace whistles. “It’s been more than a year, and you’re still jealous?”
“Do we need to remind you of Stanley,” Damon asks with a smirk, referring to the Psi Delta Brynn briefly dated before she hooked up with Jace.
Jace scowls, his cheeks turning as red as his shirt, and West chuckles.
“Face it. We’re all jealous motherfuckers,” Chris says. “Now, focus, will you? This is one of our brothers, here. Our teammate.” He waves a hand in my direction. “Are we really going to leave him out to dry? Or are we gonna man up and help him out.”
Damon and Jace fall silent, their expressions morphing into masks of guilt.
“Besides,” Chris shrugs, “it’s not like they can prove we planned it as long as they don’t spot us following them.”
“And if they see us tailing them?” I ask.
Chris rolls his eyes. “You really think I can’t tail someone without them knowing?”