22. Ava
“Wake up, Coach,” Marsha says, pulling back my covers.
“Just five more minutes,” I say, reaching for the blankets because it’s surprisingly cold in this room.
“It’s time to get the girls going. They’ve already had breakfast. We just need to load up and head to the field.”
I stretch and head over to my suitcase, pulling out a separate pair of black running shorts than what I wore yesterday.
With a bright yellow shirt to match the team colors and a pair of tennis shoes, I’m ready to go.
Marsha hands me a protein bar before picking up a bag identical to the one Whitney is carrying.
“Did you pack for an army?” I ask, chuckling.
“It’s going to be a long day at the field. Might as well be prepared,” Whitney says. She doesn’t look as chipper as she usually does at this time of the morning, but she probably didn’t sleep well in her bed.
Me, well, I don’t think I’ve ever slept better. It’s only then that I realize Marsha and I are probably sharing Charlie’s room. How embarrassing.
The girls file into the vans. We drive ten minutes to the fields. Once we’re out, I see that there’s no car following.
“Where’s Charlie?” I ask Marsha in a low voice. I don’t want any of the players to think I’m worried about him or might have feelings for him, which I’ve been debating for the last twenty-four hours as it is.
Marsha sighs, giving me a placating smile. “He left early this morning to take care of some business. I assured him that Emily would be okay and that we’d make sure she got home.” There’s a hesitant pause and then she says, “What did you do?”
“Me? What do you mean?”
“We all saw your little display in the driveway yesterday. Why did he leave?”
So much for keeping things under wraps.
“He’s the owner of the new NHL team in Salt Lake. That means he’s not just a millionaire. His net worth is probably in the billions.”
“You’re probably the only woman on the planet who turned down a hot billionaire.”
Letting out a long breath, I say, “It’s not like that. There’s no stability for him. He’s lived in so many places and probably has a house in all of them. The house we’re staying in? It’s his.”
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. Who cares if he likes to work and has a project for something he’s dreamed of doing since he was a kid? All you had to do was talk to him to know about that much. Or watch the news. Actually, don’t do that. It’s depressing.”
Marsha waves her hands in front of me and takes a deep breath. “You’re ruining a good thing all because you don’t want to get hurt again. Well, let me tell you, love isn’t all roses and bacon,” she says, and it’s hard to keep a straight face on that last word. “Sometimes things are hard, when we want to bicker about every little thing they do wrong. But we show up, we talk it out, and we find a solution to move on.”
“That’s the problem. There are so many people who move on when I feel like I’m standing still.”
“What do you want, Ava? Do you want to be a college coach? Do you want to stay in Oakhaven and keep working at the parks department? There are always more options, but you just have to figure out what you want.”
If I didn’t respect Marsha as much as I do, I’d be furious right now. I’m honestly impressed with her motivational speech. Maybe I should hand the coaching reins over to her from time to time.
“I don’t know.”
“My honest opinion is that I think you want to keep everything the same because it’s safe, predictable. That way you don’t have to worry about everything going back to the way it was before. But what if change is beautiful and good? What if it can make you the happiest you’ve ever been?”
“What if I’ll always be in fear that he’ll leave me? That I won’t be good enough for events or that five years down the road I’ll be divorced?”
Marsha raises her eyebrow. “So you’re thinking about marriage already?”
I wave her off, trying to keep my emotions steady so I don’t break down into tears. “I want to get married someday, Marsha, but how do I get over being abandoned?”
Marsha pulls me in for a hug. I try to keep my emotions in, but my body shudders, trying to release some of the tension.
“You’ve just got to trust and work on it together. Weren’t you a communication major? Use what you learned there and talk through whatever you’re feeling. Did you do that with your ex-boyfriend?”
I think back to my time with Terrell and realize that I just kind of went with the flow for him. He made all the plans, and I just figured that because he had money and then ditched me, that he represented a certain type of male I needed to steer clear of.
But in reality, I didn’t help the situation. Was that why he got bored with me? Because I didn’t oppose him in anything?
Looking back, it was like I was trying to fit into some mold he’d established. And it was probably due to whatever issues I had from being a teen without her parents.
“Oh man, I’ve messed up.”
Marsha nods. “I didn’t want to say anything,” she says with a laugh.
“So how do I fix it?”
She shrugs. “That’s something you’re going to have to figure out.”