Chapter Fourteen #4
Austin had left first thing that morning for his tour.
This one was in Texas, and he’d be gone for two weeks.
She had wished him luck, sad that she wasn’t able to go.
She thought of helping Matt with the paperwork, working side by side with him, getting to see him every day, and watching Austin win over a new audience.
She put the thought out of her head. That would have been a big mistake, Christine.
CHRISTINE LOVED RETURNING home to her new condo.
As the weeks went by, she felt more and more at home.
And much safer. A decade ago, downtown Nashville had been made up of quaint houses and shops intermingled with record labels and recording studios.
Now it was skyscrapers and condo buildings.
She’d often looked on with envy, wondering who could afford to live in such places.
Then she met Julianna and knew one person who could.
Now, thanks to Austin, she was also living there.
Christine worried that Julianna would feel she was invading her space.
They already worked together, and now she lived next door.
Surprisingly, they sometimes went days without seeing one another outside the office.
While neither of them said anything, Christine felt it was natural they gave each other space.
And Christine felt a sense of peace knowing she had a friend so close.
NOT BEING ON THE ROAD WITH MATT meant her only chance of seeing him was at tae kwon do class. She always stayed in the back of the class and tried to concentrate on what the instructor was saying while just wanting to see Matt.
She glanced back every time the door opened, not knowing if Matt would be coming in.
She hadn’t followed Austin’s travel schedule since he’d left for Texas, but she knew that tour was over.
She’d avoided looking at social media. She didn’t want to know where he was, what he was doing, or what people were saying about her.
She had purposely taken on a new male client.
He had just signed a deal with BMG, and Christine was immersing herself in his first album.
The more she could distance herself from Austin, even professionally, the better.
A new apartment, a new client, a new lease on life.
After class, she changed into her street clothes.
When she emerged from the ladies’ room, she saw Matt.
Her quick intake of breath sounded so loud in her head that she was surprised he didn’t hear it.
She stared at him, taking in the new haircut that accentuated his cheekbones and the fitted T-shirt that showed off his strong arms. She glanced away when she saw him turning in her direction.
“Christine?”
“Oh, hey, Matt. How are you?”
He walked straight up to her and wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace.
“It’s good to see you. We miss you. I think the whole crew is tired of hearing Austin and me talk about you. Every time I screw up the tickets and put them in the wrong envelope, I tell people if you were with me, it would be perfect. Austin just mopes.”
“It’s good to be missed. I miss you guys, too.” Christine knew she should let go, but she didn’t want to. Moments with Matt were a rarity now, stolen during these classes.
“Line up,” Master Joe yelled.
The moment was broken.
“I better go change,” Matt said, his hand still on her side.
“Might be a good idea.” Her voice came out a whisper.
They moved in to hug each other, but instead of turning their faces to the opposite side, they met in the middle.
A kiss on the cheek became a kiss on the lips.
Christine knew she should pull away, but she leaned in, loving the feel of his lips on hers.
The sound of other people in the room made her pull back.
Christine was mortified. She was sure that hadn’t been his intent, and she didn’t want him to think it was hers. “Oh, I’m sorry, Matt.”
“Why? I’m not. Where’d you park? I’ll walk you to your car.”
She had a flash of him walking her to her car in the dark parking lot, pulling her in for a hug, and then telling her he could no longer stop himself and had to kiss her.
A real kiss. The visual ended when she pointed out the window to her car.
Matt and everyone else could see it from the window.
It was parked in front of the dojang. There would be no kiss.
Matt nodded. “Nice and safe. I’ve got to go change. See you soon.” He squeezed her upper arm ever so gently and went into the men’s room.
She wanted to stay and let him continue touching her, but they could hardly do that in a crowded room. She bolted out the door, opting to leave well enough alone. Even though everyone in the class could see her car, she rushed to unlock it, jumped in, and immediately locked the doors.
She arrived at her condo just as Julianna walked off the elevator carrying four plastic bags from the grocery store.
“Hey, how’d your class go?”
“Good. Very good.”
“Did you see Matt?” Julianna asked.
Christine grabbed two of Julianna’s bags and followed her.
“We kinda kissed but not really,” Christine said, dropping her head down while looking up at Julianna.
“Eeeek! Come in. Gotta hear this. Cup of tea?” Julianna asked.
“Always.”
“Earl Grey or French vanilla?”
“French vanilla. Decaf if you have it.”
“Just bought some. I think it’s in the bag you have,” Julianna said, pointing.
Christine dug through the bag and pulled it out.
Julianna was putting away groceries and Christine felt comfortable enough helping herself in the kitchen.
“Do you want some tea?” Christine asked.
“Sure. Thank you.”
They finished their tasks and moved to the couch, propping their feet on the coffee table, which Christine was sure had cost at least three thousand dollars.
“So?”
“You know how sometimes you go to hug someone, and you both move your face to the same side and you almost kiss?”
“Yeah.”
“We did that, but then we kept going and had a brief kiss. Well, not too brief, ’cause I leaned into it and paused,” Christine said, then took a sip of her tea and watched her friend over the rim of the cup.
Julianna’s eyes widened. “Nobody accidentally kisses when that happens. Everyone pulls away and then feels awkward.”
“I know.”
“What else?” Julianna moved forward on the couch and clapped her hands.
“I apologized ’cause I was trying to figure out if I had leaned in and made it happen. I knew I wanted it, but I didn’t know if he did.”
“And?”
“When I said I was sorry, he said he wasn’t and winked at me.”
“Oooh! Christine. He likes you.” Julianna’s eyes sparkled.
“Maybe. But how can I be sure?” Christine shrugged. “For now, I still have hope. If he puts me in the friend zone, it’s over. I will forever feel awkward around him.”
“Is he still seeing Cait?”
“I don’t know. We never talk about her. And I’m not sure how to ask. I refuse to play the role of the other woman.”
“Never a good role. So, your first kiss with Matt.”
“Um, wasn’t my first,” Christine said with a coy grin.
Julianna sat up straight.
“What? You’ve been holding out on me? Spill it, girl.”
“It was kind of our third.”
“Third? And you never said a word?”
“One was just a quick peck, so not a big deal to anyone but me. But there was one night that I’ve been embarrassed to tell anyone about.” Christine’s hands flew to her eyes, hiding her humiliation.
“You can tell me.” Julianna’s voice was gentle, trusting.
“Oh, Julianna. It was one of the most humiliating nights of my life. I drank Fireball and then this girl offered me a weed cookie.”
“I didn’t know you liked weed,” Julianna said, her eyes widening and her grin ever present.
“That’s just it. I don’t. I thought she said wheat cookie.”
“Who carries wheat cookies to a party?” Julianna asked, giggling.
“I don’t know. I’d had two shots of Fireball. Then, I was both drunk and stoned while I danced on a coffee table at an after-party.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Matt rescued me and took me to the bus, but there was no way he was getting my drunk ass into the third-tier bunk, so he took me to the back room.”
“We all know what the back room means.” Julianna wiggled her eyebrows.
“And that’s what I said. I practically assaulted him. He fought off my advances quite valiantly, until having a momentary oh-what-the-hell moment and kissing me back.”
“And?”
“From what I can remember, it was amazing. But then he stopped and said he couldn’t do it. In hindsight, I’m guessing it’s because of Cait. He left the room to get my pillow and blanket. And that was it. Although he did stay with me all night. I kind of passed out.”
“How did you handle it the next day?”
“I immediately apologized for my drunken behavior and told him how embarrassed I was, and that I hoped he realized I’d have never done that sober.”
“Let me get this straight. You basically told the guy you have a crush on that the only reason you came on to him was because you were drunk and high.”
“Huh?”
“Christine. Think about how that sounded to him.”
“I didn’t want him to think I was a slut.”
“But is that what he heard? Or did he hear, ‘I’m only worth making out with if she’s not in her right mind’?” Julianna said.
Christine slumped back on the sofa. She replayed all the things she had said that stated just that. “I never thought of it that way. I told him I just wanted to forget the whole thing and pretend it never happened.”
“Just what every man wants to hear a woman say after they’ve had an encounter.”
“Shit.”
“Yep.”
“I wonder if I can ever make it right,” Christine said as much to herself as to her friend.
“I’m sure you can. One day, the opportunity will present itself. Don’t let it pass.”
“I won’t.”
Christine lay awake in bed, thinking about everything she’d said to Matt. It all pointed to exactly what Julianna had said. She beat herself up so long into the night she was amazed not to wake up and find herself bruised and battered.