Chapter 20
Lafitte’s ship, the Ciel Bleu, rose and fell in long, surging leaps as she bit into one wave after another. A fresh wind filled the billowing white sails overhead, pushing the ship along at a good pace under brilliant blue skies with only a few wispy clouds.
Elizabeth had positioned herself by the wooden rail where she could survey the horizon. The wind blew her hair and her hands gripped the rails dampened by the sea’s salt spray.
Jonathan stood at the helm of the Ciel Bleu with Jean.
Dominic was stationed behind the big wheel of the ship.
However, Jonathan’s mind wasn’t on Dominic—it was on Elizabeth.
Feeling completely helpless and not knowing exactly what to do, he watched her.
“We must talk,” Jonathan finally said to Jean.
They moved a few steps away from Dominic to keep him from overhearing.
“It has been two weeks, and every day she has stood in the same spot,” Jean said.
“We have made good time. I figure we will catch up with that scoundrel in the next few days. However...” Jean paused and sighed.
“It breaks my heart to see Elizabeth so sad, even if I understand her worry over her missing child. She reminds me so much of Jewel.”
Jonathan gave Jean an incredulous look. “If you think it breaks your heart ...” Jonathan stopped a moment before continuing.
“How do you think I feel? She has barely spoken two words to me since we left St. Ives.” He leaned back against the rail and folded his arms across his chest. “Perhaps she is blaming me for what happened.”
“I doubt that, my friend. She has been quiet around me as well.” Jean paused. “Have you tried to speak to her?”
Jonathan shook his head. “No. I thought I should give her time alone.”
Jean raised his brows a fraction. “Perhaps you have given her too much time, my friend. I must admit, I was surprised to hear she had a child. Adam has said nothing of this to me.”
Jonathan gave a sarcastic laugh. “The lady is full of surprises.”
“Has it occurred to you that the child is about three years old, about the same length of time since Elizabeth left New Orleans?”
Jonathan gaped at his friend. “I—I hadn’t thought about it.”
Jean folded his arms, his feet planted firmly on the deck as he stared at Jonathan sternly. “Did you compromise her?”
“I don’t believe that is any of your bloody business!
” Enraged, Jonathan turned to leave, then thought better of it since he’d initiated the conversation.
“Since you just saved my hide and we are on your ship, I’ll answer your question.
” Jonathan paused before answering. “The answer is yes. But the lady was willing.”
“Well?”
“No. It’s impossible. Elizabeth would have told me about a child. She would have realized that I’d be very pleased over my own child.”
Jean smiled. “Women are fickle, my friend. And very unpredictable. I, most certainly, have never figured them out.”
“Yes, they are fickle, as I’m finding out. Elizabeth owes me plenty of explanations, but I’ll not press her until this ordeal is over.” Jonathan straightened and turned to look out over the water. “You don’t think Lee will hurt the boy?”
Jean spit. “He’s such slime. Civilization would be better off without him. And I, for one, intend to exterminate him quickly,” Jean added abruptly, venting his rage. Then he resumed control. “And, in answer to your question, I wouldn’t put anything past the scum.”
“Then you had better get to Lee first, because I intend kill him.”
Jean chuckled. “May the best man win.”
Elizabeth felt the salt spray nip her face as the ship dove into a swell. The cool mist helped her stay focused.
Every night she prayed that she’d come to the rail and the ship they sought would be within sight. Then her nightmare would be over. But again today, she’d been let down.
Surely, Lee wouldn’t hurt his own child.
There had to be some paternal sense in him.
He’d have to feel some kind of connection to Dawson.
And poor Tiffany, Elizabeth thought. Her friend probably wished she’d never run into Elizabeth.
Elizabeth hoped no harm would come to her.
Since she had sailed during her own pregnancy, she felt that Tiffany’s baby would be fine.
Elizabeth just hoped that Tiffany wasn’t as sick as she’d been.
Elizabeth glanced behind her to see Derek’s ship trailing theirs.
When they rescued Dawson and Tiffany, Tiffany could sail back to Briercliff and pretend none of this had ever happened.
However, Elizabeth and Dawson would probably continue on to Four Oaks.
She had a strong need to see her twin brother.
Stretching, she turned back to the rail. It was getting late—another day lost. She sighed as hot tears moistened her eyes. Another day during which her hopes had slipped further away.
Was she a bad mother? She had asked herself that question over and over. She should have been with her child. Maybe then she could have prevented all of this.
Not finding any answers, she turned and headed back to her cabin. She knew she should speak to Jonathan and Jean, but she couldn’t. At least, not now. If she tried to talk to them, all she would do is cry, and tears would do nothing to help their situation.
Mulling over in his mind what he was going to do, Jonathan ate dinner with Jean. By the time the meal was finished, he wasn’t any closer to deciding whether he should talk to Elizabeth or not.
Maybe he had his answer because subconsciously he wandered down below and found himself standing in front of Elizabeth’s cabin. He knocked lightly and waited.
Several moments passed until the door opened a crack and Elizabeth peeked through. “May I hel—” She stopped suddenly when she saw who stood on the other side. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying.
“May I come in?” he asked softly, still unsure of what he was going to do, but knowing he had to do something.
She said nothing, but stood back and motioned for him to enter.
He could tell her mood was fragile, at best, and he wasn’t certain where to start, but she couldn’t continue on this destructive path.
She moved slowly back to the bunk and sat down and buried her face in her hands.
Jonathan seated himself in the chair beside the bed.
“Staying in your room all the time isn’t good, Elizabeth,” he told her firmly.
“I’d wager that you’ve not had a thing to eat in several days.
I know I haven’t seen you at dinner, and I don’t see an empty plate in here,” he commented as he glanced around the room.
She simply frowned, clenching the white handkerchief in her hand, and said, “I’m not hungry.”
Jonathan felt his frustration growing into a knot that kept tightening in his stomach.
He needed to put the fire back into Elizabeth, to see that old, familiar spark in her eyes, but he didn’t know how.
“If you don’t keep up your strength, you’ll not be of any use when we catch Lee’s ship,” he said in a challenging manner.
“We’re never going to catch Lee,” she said, her voice sounding as dejected as she looked. “I thought we would have caught them long before now.”
That was more like it! At least he had her talking. “You forget they have a day’s head start on us.”
Elizabeth wiped her eyes. “I’m such a failure.”
“Why?”
“I let you down at the wedding. And if I had been a good mother, I would have been with Dawson and he wouldn’t be on Lee’s ship.”
“I beg to differ,” Jonathan told her point-blank, then admitted, “however, I’ve said the same thing about myself many times.”
“You are definitely no failure, Jonathan, and I owe you an explanation. Perhaps several.”
“Yes, you do,” he agreed. “Every time we’ve started this conversation, you seemed to disappear. However, that will be hard to do at sea.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Your explanation can wait until we’ve rescued your child.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I’ve waited much too long as it is.” She paused and twisted her handkerchief. “I’m just not sure where to start.”
“Start from the very beginning—and that unanswered question ... why did you run away on our wedding day?” He drew in a deep breath and waited for an answer.
When none came, he went on. “At the time, I thought it was because of my arm. My arm is well now, and still you ran off the other night, too. Am I to assume that the problem is me?”
“Of course not!” Elizabeth’s eyes widened in surprise. “It’s more me than you. As someone dear just pointed out to me, I seem to run when I’m frightened. But it was never your arm,” Elizabeth assured him.
As Jonathan watched her, that old familiar panic seized Elizabeth. The day of reckoning couldn’t be postponed forever. She realized they had reached the point where their relationship had to be resolved. She took several deep breaths and wiped her eyes again.
“When I ...” she paused, took another deep breath, and started again. “When I was kidnapped by Captain Lee, he didn’t just kidnap me. He raped me to get back at Adam,” she blurted out.
Jonathan shot to his feet. “By God, the bastard is a dead man!”
“Please. Let me finish,” Elizabeth begged.
“This is hard enough as it is,” she whispered and waited until he sat back down.
“I didn’t find out I was pregnant until a few days before the wedding.
I wanted to marry you, but I couldn’t be dishonest and pass off another man’s child as yours.
So I ran. I—I knew how you felt about Captain Lee, and I didn’t want you to hate the child.
“Oh, how I wished the child wasn’t within me. Then I realized the child was part mine, and I could never do anything to hurt him. So I felt the simplest thing to do was leave.” She got up and stared blankly out of the porthole. “I left with Annie and Derek and went back to Briercliff.
“I—I also couldn’t bear the thought of you offering to marry me out of pity,” she continued before he could comment.