21. Chapter 21 #2
“Calling you my boyfriend feels trite and juvenile, if that’s what you’re asking,” I say honestly.
“But I also don’t know if that’s really what you want.
Or maybe you want to keep up your bachelor ways?
I wouldn’t blame you.” This is going off the rails, and fast. I let out a frustrated grumble.
“This is not how I wanted to have this conversation.”
Lennon brings my hand to his lips and kisses it as he meets my gaze.
It’s a motion he’s made a million times over the years, only it’s different now.
Softer. Surer. Hungrier. “Whatever you want to call me, I’m yours.
I told you that. And if you want to shout it from the rooftops, I’ll shout with you.
If you want me to be your dirty little secret for a while, I’m on board with that, too. ” He winks.
I roll my eyes, but I’m grateful for his humor. It makes me much less worried. Maybe we don’t need to take this too seriously. Maybe we can just have fun and enjoy each other without planning every single move.
“Is this about Devin?” he asks gently. Of course he sees right through to the heart of the issue. He’s known me too long for me to give him half-truths and get away with it.
“Among other things,” I admit.
“How about this?” He kisses my hand again, then brushes his lips softly against mine. “You’re done recording in, what, two weeks?”
“And then pickups.”
“Okay, three, give or take. Let’s give it until then. Enjoy it. See what happens without putting it in a pressure cooker right away, and let you focus on getting this recording done.”
I look upward and nod. “I do like to focus.”
“You joke, but you forget I’ve known you for a long time.” He ticks up a sandy eyebrow and pins me with a look. “So I am well aware of your tunnel vision at the end of projects like this.”
I grumble because he’s not wrong. “Fine.”
“You get to focus. We get to do more of what we’ve been doing all weekend.” His hazel eyes dip to my mouth as he drags the thumb of his free hand over my bottom lip again, as if he could live between the pillows of my lips and be happy there.
A breathy laugh escapes around his thumb, and his eyes make their way to mine again. “There’s no script, Songbird,” he says softly. “We get to make it up, however we’re comfortable.”
Improv. I can do improv. “Okay,” I say, much more balanced now than I was a few minutes ago.
Lennon always could steady me, even as he needed me to do the same for him.
Our friendship has always been a beautiful give-and-take.
And that familiar flush creeps up my cheeks when I think of the new kind of give-and-take we’ve been engaging in all weekend.
My phone rings loudly from my purse, and I start. I fumble through the bag and pull it out to see Devin’s name at the top of the screen. Lennon peers over the minimal space between us and sees it, then kisses my forehead quickly before I jump out of the Jeep.
“See you in a few hours,” he says.
I wave as I answer the phone before it can go to voicemail. “Hi, kiddo!” Even I cringe at how overly excited I sound. I’ve was so engrossed in Lennon in the bubble of his bed that bursting so unexpectedly out of it makes it necessary to recalibrate how I interact with people in the outside world.
Devin giggles, and the sound fills me up. “Hi, Mom. I just wanted to call to let you know I landed in New York. Dad’s picking me up soon.”
“Oh, good.” I should have remembered she was landing today, but I lost track of time somewhere between the sixth and seventh time Lennon’s lips met mine.
Mom-guilt gnaws at me, even though I know it makes no difference to her whether or not I remember her schedule to the minute. “How was the flight?”
“Fine.” She sighs, and I can hear how tired she is. “I think I might sleep for days.”
Laughing, I start to make my way toward the door of the studio. I can make out Noah through the window, and it looks like he sees me. I hold up a finger, and he nods. “I know the feeling.”
“How’s LA?” she asks. “Is the recording going well?”
“It’s great. I’m having a lot of fun.”
“ Good .” She emphasizes the word hard. “You deserve it.”
I rub at the center of my chest as my heart swells almost painfully. Just hearing her voice is a stark reminder of how much I already miss her. “Thanks, honey,” I manage to choke out around the sudden swell of emotion.
“How’s Lennon? Is he treating you well? Showing you a good time?”
I bark out a laugh at the double entendre she wasn’t even aware of. “He’s been a perfect gentleman.” It’s not entirely a lie, even though it feels strange keeping this huge thing from her. Lennon was right, though. We can make our own rules, and we’ll tell Devin when we’re ready.
“Awesome. Oh, I see Dad’s car. I’ll call you later?”
“Sure. Have fun. Send everyone my love.”
We say our goodbyes. I take an extra minute to collect myself before entering the studio. Noah is there, along with his intern. They’re both wearing headphones, and Silas isn’t anywhere to be seen. When the door shuts behind me, Noah nods once and removes his headphones.
“Hey,” I say. “Sorry I’m late. Lennon and I had to work some stuff out, and then my kid called…”
One of Noah’s bushy, dark eyebrows raises as his beard twitches into a smirk. Oh, he definitely saw Lennon and me in the Jeep, then.
Luckily, he’s professional about it. “No worries. I should have texted you. Silas is recording an audition for another project right now, so you have a few minutes to warm up.” He trails off and his smirk widens. “If you need to.”
Well, he was professional for a second anyway.
“Great. Perfect. I’ll just…do that, then.” Something about Noah’s smirk is throwing me off again. I drop my bag onto a nearby chair and move toward my booth.
“Hey, Lark,” Noah says before I can pull the door open.
“Yeah?”
“I promised Lennon I wouldn’t overwhelm you, but I have a few projects I think you’d be great for, if you were interested in continuing on.
Jessica is working on her second book, too.
She’s already said she’d love to have you on board for that audio.
Given how hard it was to cast this one, it would be great for everyone if you wanted to do it.
” His arms are folded over his chest and he’s clearly trying to adopt a casual air, but his wide eyes and clenched jaw suggest he’s very excited about these possibilities.
I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t thrilled. It’s every actress’s dream to be offered another gig at the end of one. And a not-so-small part of me knows that this is a way forward for Lennon and me. That is, if I want to stay. Which would mean giving up everything I worked for back home.
No. I shake my head to clear it. We agreed not to make any decisions about anything for the next couple of weeks.
But even if I don’t stay here, this is probably something I can do back in Michigan.
Who knows, maybe Carl would see it as good experience and let me teach some higher-level classes.
I’d be a fool not to think about this, and I probably should separate it from Lennon.
It’s my career, after all, and doesn’t need to have anything to do with him. If it came to that.
“Um,” I say. “I’m definitely interested. Can I think about it for a few days? I need to figure out what’s going on back home.”
“Sure,” Noah says quickly. “Of course. These aren’t starting until after we wrap this one, so take your time. I just wanted to put it on your radar. I thought maybe…” He trails off and snaps his mouth shut.
I tilt my head and raise my eyebrows. “Maybe what?”
He glances over my shoulder to where Lennon and I sat in his Jeep a few minutes ago. “Nothing. The offers are on the table—that’s all.”
I nod. “Thank you,” I say as I enter my booth.
Silas is on the other side of the window between the booths. I can’t hear him yet, but he pauses and smiles at me, giving me a thumbs-up. Noah must have told him, too. It’s sweet that he’s happy for me. I flash him the same gesture before he goes back to the script in front of him.
My phone pings with an email. With everything this morning, I forgot to silence it before I came into the studio, so I quickly pull it from my pocket to do so, but the name on the email notification makes me pause.
From: Carl Stanton [email protected]
To: Lark Caspian [email protected]
Subject: Next term classes
Hello Lark,
I’m writing because your audiobook work this summer is making quite the splash among the faculty here.
We are all so excited to hear it. Given the buzz around your work—and the fact that we are having a difficult time replacing Monique—I wanted to revisit our previous conversation about you teaching some of the upper-level courses next term on a trial basis.
Think about it! Let’s meet when you get back.
Carl Stanton
Theater Department Chair, Arbor Hills Community College
It takes a few read-throughs before what he’s saying clicks.
I didn’t even know he was aware I was recording this summer.
Everything happened so fast, and with Devin leaving on top of it all, I hadn’t had a chance to say much to anyone.
Not to mention that I didn’t want to get ahead of myself before it released in case it didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped.
But he knows, and he’s already impressed enough to offer me a trial run teaching some more rigorous classes. This is good. This is really good.
I have actual options, which I haven’t been able to say since undergrad.
Live here and keep doing this work that has sparked a joy in me I thought was long gone.
Go back to Ann Arbor and work to progress in the career I fought so hard for.
Stay with Lennon, try to drag him with me, or leave him behind.
And even though I know making these decisions won’t be easy, I’m not dreading them.
It’s as if the whole big open sky is mine.
For the first time in a long time, I feel free.