Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Seven
The crackle from the radio made Sofia and Patricio both jump, so long and comfortably they had stood together in the quiet kitchen.
‘All crew report to the main saloon, immediately.’ It was Captain Mary’s voice, and they did as they were told. Sofia felt uneasy as she climbed the stairs. Usually crew matters were conducted in the mess, away from prying eyes. It felt disconcertingly formal to have a meeting above sea level.
The mood was tense when they walked in. Jack, Petra, Stuart and Declan were already sitting in a semicircle.
Sofia noticed that Petra and Stuart were sitting especially close, the sides of their legs conspicuously touching.
‘Thank you all for convening so swiftly.’ Captain Mary was standing and gestured for Sofia and Patricio to take a seat. They slid in beside Declan. Sofia wasn’t sure she could bear to be so close to Jack, knowing the decision she had just made to take herself far away.
‘I’ve had...’ the captain stopped to consider the most appropriate phrasing ‘...an interesting morning.’ Sideways glances were exchanged. Between Petra and Stuart a sly smile. Between Patricio and Declan a raised eyebrow. Sofia looked over at Jack to see him staring straight ahead.
‘Over the course of the past four hours, four of you have handed in your notice,’ the captain said evenly. This time the reaction was universal: shock.
‘What? Four? Who?’ It was Declan, voicing the questions on everyone’s mind.
‘First thing I had a visit from our dear Petra, and then from Stuart. They have both informed me that after this season, they wish to step down from their roles.’ Sofia looked over to see Petra reach for Stuart’s hand. When she spoke she was gazing at him.
‘We’ve decided to...’ she stammered, smiling into her lap and then recovered herself ‘...to try out life on land, together.’
Sofia must have been the single person in the room for whom this was not a total surprise and still she was struck silent by shock.
‘I’m sorry, what?’ Jack looked completely stunned. ‘I didn’t even realise you two. I...’ Sofia realised that she’d never quite pieced together how long they had all known each other, but to have made it to the top of their respective career ladders, she supposed that Jack, Stuart and Petra must go a long way back.
Stuart blushed. ‘It wasn’t an easy decision to come to, and I know it seems all very sudden, but Petra and I had a long talk and we realised that it’s something we both want.’ He looked up at the captain apologetically. ‘To try this thing out properly, and give it a real shot, away from this...’ everyone was being careful with their words it seemed ‘...hectic lifestyle.’
‘So you two are leaving yachting?’ Declan again.
‘For now, yes. I have loved the past decade at sea.’ She laughed self-consciously. ‘God, has it really been a decade? But I’ve given the entirety of my twenties to this life and I need a fresh start.’ She smiled at Stuart, who nodded encouragingly.
Sofia let the news sink in. In front of her were two people, clearly in love and so confidently choosing each other. She was happy for Petra, but there was a part of her, the cynic, who worried. How could they be so sure? How could they be so willing to give up on the life they had built for themselves in pursuit of something that, as far as Sofia knew, they had only managed to verbalise to each other last night?
Then it struck her – it was basically what she was doing. Except she hadn’t even had the courage to verbalise it. She wasn’t even left with a chance of happily ever after. She was still trying to protect her heart, even as she tore it in two.
‘And who else?’ Patricio was growing impatient.
Sofia braced herself for what she knew the captain would announce next.
‘Well, after Stuart and Petra, I was visited by our very own Captain Carter.’ It took Sofia a moment to register what was being said, so sure had she been that she was about to hear her own name.
‘Jack?’ She didn’t realise she’d said it out loud until the captain looked her straight in the eye. ‘Yes, Sofia.’
Her thoughts were racing. She ran through the gamut of explanations of why Jack would resign. Maybe something had happened to his brother Danny and he had to go back to New York; or maybe he was taking a better job on another boat; maybe he had finally had enough of their incessant hot-and-cold and just needed to get away from her.
Unlike Stuart and Petra, Jack was not a man who felt the need to explain himself. He simply nodded curtly at the captain. ‘It’s been a pleasure and an honour working with you, Captain Mary.’ Sofia willed him to meet her eyes, but his expression was steadfast and fixed on the horizon.
‘And finally, after only a brief stint on board, Sofia too has decided to leave.’ The full force of all the eyes in the room bore down on her. She had known her time would come around but she had hoped that when it did she would suddenly know what to say.
She stared at her hands as she spoke. ‘Yes, um, I...’ She could not tell the entire crew the things she could not even say to the one person who might need to hear it. She glanced up and locked on to the only pair of eyes that mattered, those green pools so perplexed.
She took a deep breath, and looked at the captain as she spoke. ‘I no longer think that I can confidently fulfil my duties on board, in line with your... regulations.’ It sounded pathetic really, to boil down the enormity of her feelings into such a paltry sentence.
Even the captain was unimpressed. ‘Hmmm,’ she said, turning back to address everyone. ‘In light of this, I have been thinking about the best way forward, and I would ask that the four people who have resigned might stay back and allow me to propose a plan.’
Nobody moved for a second, and then the penny dropped, and Patricio nudged Declan to stand. Reluctantly Declan followed Patricio out of the room, throwing one last longing look over his shoulder as he closed the door. Knowing those two, Sofia felt sure that they would not be too far away on the other side.
The captain pulled out a chair and dragged it closer to face the remaining four. ‘Now, what I have witnessed today has been quite something. In all of my thirty years, I have never had one, let alone two... couples—’ the word seemed to stick in her throat, and she cleared it emphatically ‘—two couples resign in order to pursue a relationship, and in a single day!’ Captain Mary shook her head in bemused disbelief.
It dawned on Sofia that the captain thought that she and Jack were doing the same thing as Petra and Stuart, but that they had just chosen to be more deceitful about it. Maybe the captain had concluded that she and Jack had conspired to hide the real reason they were both leaving together. That they had carried on their relationship illicitly even after they had been found out.
‘Stuart and Petra, I am going to put an offer on the table. If I were to strike off the ban on onboard relations from the rule book, could you be convinced to reconsider?’ The captain was leaning forward, her hands steepled in front of her face.
Still clutching hands, Petra and Stuart exchanged a meaningful look, each nodding faintly as they reached the end of their telepathic huddle.
‘That is a very generous offer, Captain, but this isn’t just about the rule. I made a pact with myself that I could not grow old on this boat.’ Petra stopped, worried that her words were pointed. ‘I mean no disrespect by that, but ever since I was little, I have always dreamed of the white picket fence, of being a mother... as clichéd as that sounds.’
‘Not at all, Petra, it is a gift to be blessed with the clarity of what one wants in life, and it is each of our responsibility to be brave enough to pursue that.’
Petra’s eyes glistened, and now she reached for the captain’s hand. Maybe she did do sentimentality after all, thought Sofia.
As Petra clasped her hand, the two women seemed to be having an unspoken conversation of their own. The captain had chosen her path, even if it meant giving up on a family life. She seemed not to begrudge Petra for making the inverse choice.
The captain turned to Stuart. ‘And you, Stuart?’
Evidently uncomfortable talking about his feelings, Stuart picked at his thumbnail. ‘I guess sort of the same. I didn’t really have a stable base growing up and I think that if...’ He glanced at Petra who smiled encouragingly. ‘If I ever had a family, I’d like to be, you know, around.’
The captain nodded. ‘Very well, thank you both, for your honesty.’ Now that felt pointed. Sofia was bursting to defend herself, but how?
‘Would you mind leaving me with Jack and Sofia alone?’ Unlike Declan, Petra and Stuart were all too keen to be out of the room as quickly as possible, Stuart ploughing into the door frame in his haste.
Jack and Sofia were left on either end of the large curved sofa. They could not have been sitting further apart. The captain looked from one to the other and motioned for them to shuffle into the middle. It was a deeply undignified manoeuvre and by the end of it, Sofia felt they were sitting far too close.
She started with Jack. ‘Now, I would be tempted to offer you both the same deal, but to be honest, Jack, I am disappointed that you didn’t feel able to tell me the truth.’
Jack hung his head. ‘I’m sorry. Mary.’ His voice was meek, like a child’s.
‘You told me that you wanted to resign because you felt like you had reached the end of your career development here, and that hurt me.’ Sofia had never seen the captain look so emotional. She almost felt like she should look away, like this moment between them deserved privacy.
‘I really advocated for you, Jacky. In the beginning I put my neck on the line recommending you. I was only a first officer then, but I saw how much you needed a helping hand and I was happy to support you.’ The captain looked down. ‘And then when you came to me this morning, I felt so confused, so guilty that I had neglected you recently.’ She shook her head, and when she spoke again her voice had a steely edge. ‘And then when Sofia came to my office I realised what was going on, that you must have been carrying on with your fling and now you were going to give all this up for it.’
Her words hung in the air, pregnant with betrayal and shared history. Jack took a moment to collect himself before he replied.
‘Mary, I am so sorry, I hate lying to you, and I was a coward to do it today but the truth is...’ he looked over at Sofia and smiled sadly ‘...the truth is I only wanted to leave so that she could stay. This thing between us, I’m not sure what it is, but it isn’t “a fling”. We haven’t even...’ he blushed, and cleared his throat ‘...since that night.’
A deep breath, and now his voice was less shaky, more assertive. ‘I have tried to keep it professional, I have tried to avoid her, I have tried to be her friend, but it is all futile, and I didn’t want to disrespect you by carrying on behind your back. I didn’t want Sofia to lose this job that I know she loves, because I couldn’t keep it under wraps.’ He sighed. ‘God knows, I have had my fair share of adventures on this boat, but Sofia, she’s got it all to come.’
Sofia didn’t realise she was crying until a tear fell onto the hand curled in her lap. She wiped her eyes hurriedly, but not before the captain saw.
‘So you didn’t know that he was going to resign?’ the captain asked Sofia, putting the pieces together.
‘No, I quit...’ she felt silly admitting it after his impassioned speech ‘...for pretty much the same reason.’
Jack’s eyes widened. His face suddenly lit up with something like... hope?
‘And you, Jack, you didn’t know that Sofia was resigning?’ The captain was determined to get the facts straight. Jack shook his head distractedly, not taking his eyes off Sofia.
‘Jack...’ she began, ‘I had no idea. Why didn’t you...?’
‘Why didn’t you?’ he interrupted, an amused look tugging at the corners of his mouth.
‘Well, I must say, this is all a little Shakespearean, wouldn’t you say? I didn’t take you for indulging in these kinds of dramatics, Jacky.’ The captain shook her head in disbelief. ‘Who would have thought that one simple rule would cause such havoc,’ she muttered to herself.
Sofia had stopped listening. She was still trying to process what Jack had said. She reached for his hand, clasping it tight, all sense of embarrassment momentarily suspended by the swell of joy coursing through her. ‘I thought I was the only one who felt it,’ she muttered in disbelief, as if to herself.
‘You kids, call it what it is, for God’s sake. You are clearly, madly in love.’ They both looked at the captain, who was sitting across from them with her arms folded and an incredulous expression on her face. Suddenly the whole scene seemed outlandishly funny to Sofia, and she burst into a fit of giggles, Jack joined in and, after the surprise had passed, so did the captain.
Sofia was delirious by the time the laughter died down, but Jack had the presence of mind to dare to ask, ‘So, Captain, can you forgive the lie, and bend the rules for two kids in love?’ It felt jarring to Sofia to hear him throw the word around so cavalierly.
Captain Mary smiled. ‘It brings me the greatest joy to see you so happy, Jacky, but you know me, ever erring on the side of caution. Here’s my proposal.’ Sofia squeezed Jack’s hand as they waited to hear their fate.
‘I would like to hire you both for the next charter. We can call it a test drive. Before Sofia came to me this morning I had been meaning to offer her the permanent position, but I will hold off, for now, and see how you two fare working together.’
They both agreed immediately and Sofia thought that Captain Mary seemed the most pleased with the outcome. Sofia supposed it would be a headache to replace a first officer and a chef before the next guests arrived.