Chapter Twenty-Six #2
No one moved for a breath, but then slowly, everyone started to shuffle. Palmer released his grip on Cameron, who immediately ran off — I assumed to find Leah. Bernard smirked at me with a wink on his way out, like we were best buds and he approved of my scandal.
Lovely.
Palmer waited for Gisella, trying to usher her out of the room with a hand at the small of her back. But she jerked away from him, muttering something under her breath with a glare that had Palmer’s lips flattening as he chased after her.
Captain Gary stayed behind, the tension left in the room once it was just the three of us so thick I could have choked on it.
He looked at us, expression unreadable. His voice, when it came, was low and cold.
“You two. Get yourselves together and meet me in the bridge. Ten minutes.”
He turned without another word, and I dropped my head into my hands.
My ribs ached with the struggle of my lungs trying to fill, my chest on fire like I was having a heart attack. My hands and feet went numb. My vision darkened at the edges.
Distantly, I was aware that Finn was trying to talk to me, that his hands were framing my face, his concerned eyes searching mine.
But his voice was muted, muffled by the ringing in my ears and the thrumming of my racing heart.
There was movement behind him, a camera duo adjusting to better see my face.
And that was it.
Like a caged animal who realized someone had forgotten to latch the door, I threw the covers off me, shoved Finn away, threw on my pajamas, and bolted.
I didn’t know where I was going — just that I had to move.
I rushed through the hall, bare feet slapping against the stairs as I flew down them toward the crew quarters. I nearly ran into Palmer and Gisella on the way down. I heard Gisella scoff, heard someone call my name — maybe Finn, maybe Leah, maybe a producer — but I didn’t stop. Didn’t look back.
I took the corner too fast and slammed into a wall.
Pain bloomed in my shoulder, but I kept going, sucking in oxygen like I was drowning and clinging to each sip of air I could catch when a wave receded.
My cabin door was cracked open, and I all but dove inside, slamming it behind me and twisting the lock with shaking fingers.
Then I collapsed onto the bed, gasping.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
It’s over.
It’s all over.
Everything I’d worked for. Everything I’d dreamed of. Everything I’d sacrificed — all gone.
Because I’d let myself get lost in a moment of desire.
I cringed at the reality, shame washing over me at the same time I felt fists beating on my chest from the inside. I almost heard the voice screaming over the rattling of my breath, a distant cry that I shouldn’t be ashamed, that I loved Finn and what happened between us wasn’t wrong.
But I snuffed out that voice with a cold splash of reality.
I’d lost the respect of my crew. I’d lost their friendship. My third stew couldn’t even look at me, and I couldn’t blame her. I’d hurt her. Betrayed her. Betrayed them all for something selfish and stupid.
You don’t believe that. What you have with Finn isn’t stupid.
Again, I ignored that voice.
It was easier to latch onto the panic slowly taking me under. And when I remembered everything that had just happened was on camera, I started sinking faster.
A knock came at the door, followed by a muffled voice. “Ember? We’d love to get a quick interview while emotions are still fresh.”
I raked my hands through my hair, face-planting into my pillow and screaming into it.
This cannot be happening.
But it was.
And there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Another knock. Another producer. “We’re rolling, Ember. Just one minute. That’s all we need. We have your mic here, if you don’t mind putting this back on for us.”
I curled tighter, shaking my head like I could will it all away. My skin was on fire. My mind was running so fast I couldn’t hold onto a single thought. There was a commotion of noise and voices outside my door, and then another knock, this one louder.
“Em, it’s me.”
Finn.
My pulse answered his like it always had.
I wanted to run to him and fling myself into his arms as much as I wanted to throw him overboard. My skin was still warm from his, my soul still bound to him.
“Let me in, Firefly.”
I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. I couldn’t let him in — not right now, not when I only had minutes to get myself together enough to face our captain with him.
Captain Gary.
My heart flipped, bile rising in my throat as I imagined what he’d say. What he’d do. Would he fire me? Strip me of the role I’d worked years to earn? Blacklist me in the industry?
Would he even have to?
Once people saw the show, they’d be able to make up their own mind. No glowing letter of recommendation could overshadow what I’d just let the whole world bear witness to.
And then the worst thought of all slammed into me like an anvil falling from a skyscraper.
My father.
He was going to see this.
He was going to see all of it.
Every shameful second. The crew piling into the cabin. Me in bed with a man everyone thinks is still dating my roommate. Me choosing a thoughtless act of desire with Finn over everything I’d built. The fallout. The chaos. The scandal.
He wouldn’t need to say a single word for me to know how he felt.
I could already hear his voice in my head.
I had one shot to prove to him that what I did mattered, that my career was valuable, that I was worth something.
Instead, I’d only proved to be the disappointment he’d bet on.
Tears burst from me like a dam breaking. I sobbed into my pillow, choking on the weight of it all — the failure, the humiliation, the sheer horror of being exposed in front of the entire world.
I’d once believed surviving the storm of my breakup with Finn would be the toughest thing I’d ever face, that if I could survive that, I could survive anything.
But there was no surviving this.