Chapter Thirty-One #2
“Well,” Captain said, voice thick with humor and fatigue. “I can’t say this was the easiest season I’ve ever done. Not by a long shot.” Laughter rippled through the group, a shared acknowledgment of the chaos we’d barely survived. Everyone outside of me and Finn were back to a unified group.
We were the outsiders.
But we were content in that, Finn’s hand holding tight to mine under the table. It didn’t bother us that only Captain Gary included us in the group conversation over dinner. Once he left, we knew we’d be ignored.
That was fine by us.
“I will say, despite the hurdles — and there were plenty — you lot kept the guests happy, kept that old bucket afloat, and put on one hell of a show, whether you meant to or not.” Captain’s grin widened.
“I’m proud of you. All of you. Thanks for not making me fire any of your asses.
” He lifted his glass higher. “Cheers to surviving the Sinking Sun.”
“Cheers!” we echoed, lifting our glasses high before we drank the crisp bubbles down.
The words landed heavy and sweet in my chest. All day long, I’d been floating in a kind of haze, the way I imagined someone might feel after completing an Ironman race.
I felt accomplished and depleted at the same time, proud and exhausted, so high off adrenaline I could fight a tank, and also so bone-deep tired I could sleep for the rest of my life.
We’d made it.
Somehow, some way — bruised, battered, and a little broken — we’d made it.
Captain Gary stood, shaking hands with Palmer first before he turned to me as I pushed my chair out. It wasn’t goodbye officially yet, we’d say our final farewells in the morning, but Cap seemed to be leaving a little piece of something with each of us tonight.
“Ember,” he said, his grin wide and warm as he took me into an embrace.
He held me tight, giving me a little pat on the back as he released me.
He looked around before lowering his voice.
“This was a tough one, aye? But listen, it isn’t over for you.
Not if you don’t want it to be. I think you handled these last two charters with absolute poise.
And at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m proud of you.
You have my respect — and my recommendation. No matter what you choose to do next.”
“Thank you, Captain,” I said, offering a small smile. “That means a lot to me.”
He nodded, squeezing my shoulder, and then he moved on to Finn while I took my seat again.
There was a deep pit in the middle of my stomach once Captain Gary was gone.
I longed to talk to Leah, but knew it was no use.
I wished for a moment to explain myself to Eli, but felt I didn’t deserve his forgiveness even if he’d give it to me.
I even found myself wanting to make amends with Gisella, but the way she glared at me as soon as Captain left and then flicked her hair over her shoulder and turned her back on us to effectively cut us from the group, I knew I didn’t stand a chance.
I was still lost in my wishful thoughts when Finn stood up.
His chair scraped back loud against the stone, pulling everyone’s attention. My brows furrowed as he placed both hands flat on the table, his shoulders squared.
He looked like he was going into battle, and my hackles rose like I was his second in command.
“I’d like to say something,” Finn said, voice calm but carrying weight.
“Cool,” Gisella said flatly. “No one cares.”
She turned back around, but Bernard sucked his teeth and waved her off. “Pipe down, Gisella. Let the man have his go.”
“He can speak all he wants. I won’t be listening,” she said, crossing her arms defiantly.
Bernard rolled his eyes and then smiled politely at Finn. “Go on, love.”
“I know there’s been a lot of speculation this season. About me. About Ember. About Gisella,” Finn started, his eyes scanning everyone at the table. “And I know we didn’t exactly do a good job of controlling the rumors or the optics.”
A ripple of unease passed through the crew. It was the ugly beast we’d all been ignoring since the morning everyone found me and Finn in the guest cabin. We’d shoved the thing into a closet and latched the door, acting like there was nothing more to discuss even when we all knew there was.
But now, there were not guests on board to tend to, no charters to run, no jobs to do.
And Finn was apparently done holding his tongue.
“Before the reunion happens — before you all hear it from producers or see it edited and twisted into something it’s not — I want you to hear the truth from me.” Finn’s gaze flicked to me, warm and steady. “From us.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. He looked so confident and sure, but I was near positive he was barking up the wrong tree with this crew. They wouldn’t listen. They wouldn’t want to listen.
“I’m sorry for the way we hurt you,” Finn said, addressing the table.
“It wasn’t our intention to have things blow up the way they did, to make a mess of a crew that had become friends.
Believe us or not, that night was the first between us, and we intended to tell all of you that next day. We just never got the chance.”
Gisella scoffed, her arms folded, body rigid at the other end of the table. Finn addressed her directly next.
“I’m especially sorry to you, G.”
That made her tight expression slip.
“I know it must have been painful, finding us the way you did, and you shouldn’t have had to experience that.”
Gisella was quiet as Finn looked back to the crew, that apology weighing heavy in the air.
“But I want to be clear about one thing.” His voice sharpened slightly. “When I crossed the line with Ember, it was after I ended things with Gisella. Not before. I owed her honesty — and I gave it, before anything happened.”
The table erupted in whispers, eyes snapping to Gisella.
“Is that true?” Bernard asked bluntly, leaning forward with interest.
All heads turned to her.
Gisella’s face flushed a dark red, her mouth opening and closing without a sound. She finally shrugged, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Depends on how you define ‘ended.’”
“That’s not fair, G,” Finn said, his tone still even but firmer now. “I was clear. You knew where we stood — probably well before I put words to it, if we’re being honest. I hadn’t touched you all season. We hadn’t shared more than a public kiss that I know you knew was performed on my part.”
Gisella’s jaw clenched.
“There was also a note that I left for Ember explaining all of that,” Finn added. “I slipped it under her door after the crew beach day, but for some reason, it never made it to her.”
Gisella shrugged again. “I don’t know why you’re looking at me when you say that. I couldn’t care less about the stupid love notes you wrote to my roommate.”
I sighed. There was no way she was ever going to admit she’d taken it — even though we all knew she had.
“Look, I’m sorry for the way it all unfolded,” Finn said, his voice softening.
He shifted, pinning Gisella with a look full of regret.
“While I didn’t cheat on you, I did let things continue between us for far too long when I knew my heart wasn’t in it.
I was trying to do the right thing — whatever that is.
I was trying to untangle the messiest knot of all time, but I shouldn’t have made you believe I still had feelings for you when I knew I didn’t.
I’m sorry I hurt you. Truly, I am.” He looked at everyone else then.
“I’m sorry I bollocksed the energy we had on board.
We were a family, and I regret that I ruined that. ”
And then, without hesitation, he turned to me.
“But I’m not sorry for this.”
He grabbed my hand — bold and sure — and lifted it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to my knuckles with a reverence that stole my breath.
“I love her,” he said simply. No drama. No theatrics. Just the truth that had been burning between us since the first day we boarded the Sinking Sun.
My heart split wide open.
The table was silent, stunned into a stillness that felt deafening. Finn rubbed his thumb over my knuckles, his eyes never leaving mine.
“And maybe the thing I’m most sorry for is not realizing that sooner.”
My eyes welled, pulse thrumming in my veins. I wanted to kiss his face off.
Before I could say fuck it and do just that, Gisella let out a sharp, incredulous laugh.
“Oh, sure,” she snapped. “What a romantic story you’ve spun. Star-crossed lovers against the big, bad reality TV show. But even if you did call it quits with me before you shagged her, you obviously had feelings before that. Don’t act like you’re innocent.”
Palmer snorted.
That had all the heads spinning to him, Gisella most of all, her brows furrowed in offense. Palmer shook his head at first, like he wasn’t going to elaborate on that reaction.
But then, he laughed and said, “You know what? Fuck it.” He leaned forward, pressing his finger to the table with his eyes on Gisella. “Are you really going to sit there and pretend like I wasn’t in your bed that same night?”
My jaw hit the floor, along with half the table. Bernard was the only one seemingly not shocked. He sat back with his hands threaded behind his head and a giant grin. “Here we go.”
“What?” Leah gasped, her hand covering her mouth.
Cameron let out a low whistle. “So that whole thing when you kissed me in the hot tub — that wasn’t to piss Finn off, was it? You were trying to make Palmer jealous.”
Gisella paled, her facade cracking under the weight of the accusation.
“Wow,” Leah breathed. “So Cameron wasn’t enough? What, did you plan to hook up with every guy on the boat and just pick which one suited you best?” She shot a glare at Eli. “Have something to tell us, too?”
Eli threw his hands up. “Don’t look at me, bru. I was all in for Em.” His expression was hard when it met mine. “What a chop.”
“I’m sorry, Eli,” I croaked. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“Damn right, I didn’t.”
Bernard picked up his drink and gave it a swirl. “Bloody hell. Someone pass the popcorn.”
I tried to hold Eli’s gaze as arguments erupted around the table, but he shook his head and looked away, not giving me the time of day.
And he didn’t owe me that. He didn’t owe me anything.
The only person who did look at me as Gisella and Cameron and Palmer screamed at each other was Leah. She didn’t say a word, but there was a softness in her gaze. I knew it wasn’t the time, but something about the way she looked at me told me she had room for forgiveness in her heart for me.
Not now. But one day.
Finn caught my eye in the chaos, his demeanor calm and steady. He jerked his head slightly toward the exit.
Let’s go.
Without a word, I slid out of my chair, following him through the crowded restaurant and out into the quiet night. I barely registered Luke and Lexi trailing us with their cameras until we hit the curb, Finn throwing a hand up for a cab.
When we were finally tucked inside, the doors closing out the noise, I let out a long, shuddering breath.
“Well, that was unexpected,” I said with a laugh, leaning into Finn as he put his arm around my shoulders.
“You know this isn’t going to change anything, right?
Not their perception of us, not the world’s either. ”
Finn rubbed my shoulder with a sigh of his own, kissing my hair. “Maybe not. But I spoke our truth.”
“I hate that we hurt them so much,” I said, voice low with the aching honesty. “I shouldn’t have used Eli to make you jealous.”
“I should have told Gisella I didn’t feel the same way she did — not just when we got here, but well before.” He scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “I think I wanted to believe it, that I was moving on. I wanted to be all in with her. But I knew I wasn’t even before I saw you again. And once I did…”
“I know,” I said. “You fucked me up bad, too.”
He laughed at that, turning those ocean eyes down to me. “Should I apologize to you as well, then?”
“I think we’ve had enough apologies between us to last a lifetime.”
“Hopefully, we won’t add any more.”
“I’m sure we will,” I said. “Love is messy. We’re human. We’re not meant to be perfect.”
“I don’t know. You’re pretty close.”
I rolled my eyes, kissing his jaw. “I’m sure I’ll screw up again. You probably will, too. But we’ll figure it out.” I hummed. “In fact, I will be apologizing to you in the morning.”
“For?”
I trailed my fingers over the buttons of his shirt. “Ruining this when I tear it off you.”
Finn tipped his head back in a loud laugh, his profile outlined by the glow of passing streetlights. When he settled, his eyes were on me, heated and satisfied and so full of love it made me weak.
“So… what’s next, Chef?” I whispered.
His hand found my jaw, lining it softly before he used his knuckles to tilt my chin.
“No idea, Firefly,” he said, his mouth on track for mine. “But as long as I’m with you?”
A kiss, strong and sure and sweet.
“I’m happy.”