Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
LYDIA
Delaney
Are you still planning on coming over tonight?
Lydia
I was planning on it
Good
You know, I could always come over earlier
Our coach oh so generously gave us the day off from practice after a winning streak this weekend
Your coach is too easy on you
I don’t know about that
One practice off? I wouldn’t go that far
Har har
I’ll see you tonight
The coffee shop is bustling. People working. Friends meeting. Moms with kids having breakfast. Warmth and the smell of coffee permeates the air. It’s the perfect way to spend the morning off now that I’m feeling better.
Burrowing farther into the oversized chair, I sip on my tea and watch everyone coming and going in the shop.
Until I see someone I never thought I’d see in my little neighborhood.
He’s tapping away on his phone. Considering I haven’t seen him in about a year, he looks about the same. Maybe a bit more gray around the temples, but I’d recognize him in a heartbeat.
His suit is immaculate—a navy pinstripe suit with shiny Oxford shoes.
“Dad?”
The man in a suit stops, looking around to see who called out. When his blue eyes spot me, he looks stunned. “Lydia? What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? I live here.”
“You live here now? Why?” He glances down at his phone again, then looks at the counter to see if they’ve called his name for his order.
“Hockey. I told you I got traded here to the new women’s team.”
His lips flatten into a grim line. “I thought you put all that hockey nonsense behind you.”
“Is that what you think of it?” I scoff. “I’m one of the top five players in the league right now.”
“Not the top?” He quirks a brow at me.
I mean, I am, but for some reason, I don’t feel the need to tell that to this man. The man that couldn’t even bother texting me to tell me he’s in town.
How is this the man that I’ve been fighting to get a scrap of attention from for all these years?
“I—”
“I have to go,” he interrupts, hearing his name called. “Nice seeing you, Lydia.”
“Wait.” I call out after him. He stops, spinning on his heel with a look of annoyance on his face. “How long are you in town? Can we get dinner?”
“Sorry. I have meetings.”
He leaves without another word.
My dad. The man who left when I was four. Who never seemed that interested in my life. Who, no matter what I seemed to do to keep him in my life, was never around.
So why does it hurt so much when I had the best stepdad, mom, and stepbrother growing up? I never wanted for anything.
The only thing I share with this man is DNA. Is that enough of a reason to want to have someone in your life?
I shouldn’t care, but I do.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I don’t see who’s calling before I decline it. Too many emotions are swimming inside me.
So much for enjoying my morning off.
Swallowing down the rest of my tea, I set my empty cup down in the bin by the door and head out into the cold Toronto morning. Snow sticks to the sidewalk as I try to get my bearings.
I hate that I’m letting him get to me. I have too much going on right now to worry about it. Toronto is kicking ass and that should be my only worry. Keeping us in the running to make it to the finals our first year.
My phone buzzes again. This time, pulling it out, I see it’s my mom calling.
“Hey, Mom.”
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
I sigh. There is no use hiding anything from my mom. It’s like she has a sixth sense for when anything is wrong with one of her kids. I don’t know how she does it.
“I saw Dad.”
“You did?” She can’t hide the shock from her voice. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to see him?”
“Because I didn’t know.” I turn the corner and head toward the rink. I’m so worked up now, there’s no use in going home. I might as well get a workout in to try and get all these feelings of mine under control.
“He was in Toronto and he didn’t reach out to you?” Bitterness laces her voice. My mom is the kindest person out there. The one person in the world she can’t stand? Her ex-husband.
“He was surprised I was still even playing hockey. Called it nonsense.”
“I could kill him.” She’s muttering under her breath, but I’m not catching most of it. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I wish he weren’t like this. I wish he cared more.”
“It’s not your fault.” The crosswalk blinks red and I stop. Given that the temps have dropped, there aren’t many people out and about today. “I just wish I didn’t keep having hope he’d be different.”
A frustrated tear slips out. I wipe it away with anger.
“I wish he was a better father to you, Lydia. I do.”
“It’s not like I don’t have Derek,” I tell her. “I have you.”
“He’s still your father, dear.” She sighs. “Is there anything I can do?”
I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “No. I’m going to get a workout in.”
Mom laughs. “Of course you are.”
“Hey.” The light changes and I cross the road. “It helps clear my head.”
“I know it does. I just wish you were able to go visit your brother with us next week. Baby snuggles are always good to make you feel better.”
My heart clatters around in my chest. “I know. You’ll just have to take all the pictures and videos and send them to me.”
It’s the one thing that sucks about being a professional hockey player. When my family is going to visit Troy and Angie, I’m here because of games and practice. And after seeing my dad today? I really could use some family time.
“We will, but I can always come there if you need me to,” Mom says.
“That’s okay, Mom. Go and visit Cam and I’ll see you soon enough.” The arena is in front of me. “Look, I’m here. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay. I love you, dear. You know where I am if you need anything.”
I smile. “Thanks. I love you. Bye.”
I end the call, feeling a bit better after talking with her.
The rink is empty. After the two wins back to back, Delaney gave us the day off from practice, so no one is here.
Heading to my locker, I shed my coat and put on my white skates. The ones I keep here for when I need to come and think things through.
The ice is a blank slate as I walk through the gate and take off. I push into the blades, needing to feel the burn in my legs.
How is that man my father? After trying to connect with him so often, he cares that little about me? And why do I care so much?
“Are you okay?”
I swish to a stop, covering the boards in ice. Delaney is skating toward me, a worried look on her face.
“It’s my dad.”
“Derek? Is he okay?”
“No, not him. My real dad.”
“Your real dad?”
I nod, trying to take off again, but Delaney stops me with a hand to the elbow.
“He was here in Toronto.”
“He was?”
“Yup.” I pop the p. “And he didn’t even bother to tell me that he was here.”
“Lydia. I’m so sorry.”
My fingers grasp her elbows, digging into the soft black material of the oversized turtleneck she’s wearing with a pair of leggings.
“How can the man who helped create me care so little about me?” A frustrated tear slips out. “It’s not like I don’t have good memories with him from when I was little.”
I remember the time he took me to the zoo and we got ice cream—a splurge at the time. Or snacks at the movies. But if it’s only a few memories here and there, can I even call him my dad?
“He doesn’t deserve your tears.” Delaney wipes it away as another takes its place.
I bite down on my bottom lip. I don’t want to cry, but I can’t help it.
“Hey. It’s going to be okay.”
Delaney pulls me into her arms and I bury my face in her shoulder. It triggers the cascade of tears as I hold on to her.
“This man has basically been out of my life since I was a teenager.” My voice is thick with emotion. “He never understood why I loved hockey. He called it nonsense. Why am I so torn up over this when the last time we had a real relationship was when I was in middle school?”
“Because”—Delaney pulls back, brushing the tears away—“he is supposed to love you and has shown you time and time again that he doesn’t. That kind of rejection hurts. No one wants it.”
“No,” I blurt out. “I guess I have my answer. He doesn’t care, so I guess I have to move on.”
“You don’t have to do it alone, Lydia. I’m here for you. Parker and Skylar are here for you. Your entire family is. You’re not alone.”
“God, I love you, Delaney. I kept fighting for this idea of a family that I was never going to have. I guess I just wanted him to be proud of me.”
“The people who matter are.”
“Thank you.” I drop my forehead to hers. “Thank you, D.”
“Like I said, I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
“You. Just you, Delaney.”
Delaney pulls back, releasing the tether I have on her. “Why don’t we go back to your place? Get takeout and get lost in one another?”
“Right. Probably not the best place to be doing this.”
I wipe one last stray tear away. I hate that I’m wasting any tears on that man. He doesn’t deserve them. He proved to me that he doesn’t, but it’s going to take some time to work through that.
“Or maybe if you want, you can go hit one of the boxing bags in the training room to work out your feelings?”
I smile at her. “I like your first idea better.”
“Good. Me too.”
“See you at home?”
Delaney skates away from me. “See you at home.”