Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
Ben
My leg is killing me. I haven’t pushed myself this hard in a long time. Not that I don’t still go to the gym and keep up with my physical therapy, but I didn’t think through my big plan for the day.
We walked the boardwalk, well, sidewalk. I don’t know why Virginia Beach thinks pavement is a boardwalk. The entire name says it—board. But there are no boards. I wanted to take her down to the water, smell the ocean, hear the waves up close, but my fucking leg doesn’t do sand.
She never asked once or made a comment. She didn’t fuss over me either. It was nice. I felt—normal.
I roll over out of bed, massaging the muscles and putting lotion on the now red and inflamed skin.
“Fuck,” I groan as it burns.
Today is going to suck.
I force myself to wake up and get ready. Once in the shower I close my eyes and Gretchen’s face after our kiss is front and center.
She’s so beautiful. The way she looked up at me like I just made her life worth living was humbling and almost brought me to my knees. After all this time it’s as if the feelings I had for her just resurfaced like time never passed.
I think about the sounds she made and my cock hardens. My hands itch to touch her again, feel her silky skin beneath my rough fingertips. Instead of touching her, I wrap my hand around my dick and start to jerk off.
Her face is all I see.
Her perfume is all I smell.
Her voice is all I hear as I continue stand to here, one hand on the wall, one on my cock.
I have no control as I think about her. I imagine it’s her lips around me, the warmth of the water is her mouth and I come—hard.
I get out of the shower and my phone dings.
Gretchen: I had a really good time. Thank you.
Me: You’re welcome. I did too.
Gretchen: I’ll see you at the office?
How the hell I’m going to work beside her all day, I’ll never know. I’m going to have to use every possible tactic I learned to keep my composure. Kissing her was a big mistake, but I can recover. I got her out of my system a few minutes ago. I should be totally fine. It’ll be a walk in the park.
Me: I’ll be there.
Gretchen: Good. I can’t wait to see you. I keep thinking about our kiss and...I just thought you should know. It was really good too.
Yeah, work today is going to be a piece of cake.
* * *
“I have a theory,” Gretchen says as we sit at the table.
Me too, that I’m a complete idiot to think I wouldn’t want another date with her. I thought I would show her a good time, go home, drink a beer and be done.
Instead I’m jerking off in the shower and thinking about how to get a second date with her. Not one to show her a good time, but because I want to show her that I want her.
I rub the back of my neck and focus on work. “What’s that?”
“The contracts are all worded differently. I’m starting to think whoever was drawing them up was trying to give the client a loophole depending on what the company was doing. Look...” She points to a line in another contract. “…I’m fairly certain this line shouldn’t be here.”
I read it over, not really sure of what it means. “Why?”
“Because if we’re drawing up the contracts, which it appears we are, we wouldn’t want any possible openings for lawsuits. Thankfully, you guys are really good at what you do, so there hasn’t been a fuck up, but...”
“But you think someone was hoping for it?”
“Yeah, it’s the only thing that makes sense.” She gnaws at the end of her pen.
God, she’s gorgeous. Her blonde hair is down and curled at the ends today. She’s wearing a light pink top with a black skirt. I can’t stop looking at her legs, wishing they were wrapped around my waist.
It’s been almost two years since my divorce and I haven’t given a shit about women since Charity left. She fucked with my head so bad. I was only good enough for her when I was a SEAL. She loved the military life and wanted to bask in the glory that came with it. Not that I think there is much glory. It’s a lot of time away, fighting, dealing with being alone, but Charity enjoyed it. I’m just glad we never had kids.
I think about the words the bitch said when she signed the divorce papers, which left her with nothing.
“It’s fine, Ben. I don’t need your money because no one wants to sleep with only part of a man.”
“Ben?” Gretchen’s hand touches my arm. “Did you hear me?”
“No, sorry.” I shake my head, coming back to the present.
She gives a soft smile. “I asked if the lawyer who was drawing up the contracts is still on staff. I’d like to just poke around a bit.”
“He’s not, which is why Jackson needed you so quickly.”
Now I’m starting to wonder if there’s more. Why would the lawyer put any kind of loophole in? There should be nothing that would leave us open for a lawsuit.
“Okay,” Gretchen says, tapping her pen. “I just?—”
“Have a weird feeling?”
She nods.
“Me too. Let’s go talk to Mark.”
We get up and I wince. My leg is screaming today. The skin is still raw from rubbing against my prosthetic more than usual.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look like you’re in pain...”
Then I hear Charity’s words in my head again.
“I’m fine.” My voice is sharper than I intended.
“Sorry.”
Fuck. I didn’t mean to snap at her. It’s not her fault. “That was out of line. I’m fine, I’m just uncomfortable.”
“Is it your leg?” Gretchen asks.
I don’t want to admit defeat. In fact, I hate it. I’ve come to terms with my life for the most part, but I’m still pissed. I lost everything because of this injury. I’m tired of things being chipped away from me. There’s no fucking glory in feeling weak.
“Let’s just forget about this and deal with what we have to.”
Gretchen looks like she’s going to keep pushing, but she nods. “Okay, but,” she says and presses her hand to my mouth, “if you insist on being stubborn, I understand because you always were an idiot, but if you’re in pain, you should take care of yourself. I know all too well about neglecting yourself for the sake of appearances.”
Her hand drops and her features are soft, just like my heart when it comes to her.
I was just a dick to her and she’s worried about me. “Don’t worry about me, babe. I’ve learned to endure through much worse pain.”
Then Gretchen reaches up on her toes, her eyes on me asking a million questions. There’s hesitancy, fear, excitement, and lust as her mouth inches closer. I don’t move, allowing her the control over what she does. That’s something she hasn’t had in many years and if she wants this, she has to take the next step.
“I’m going to kiss you, Ben.”
I stand like a statue. “I’m right here, babe.”
Her hand rests on my chest as she moves slowly, measuring each breath and I have to lock my muscles to stop myself from hauling her to my body and crushing our lips together.
But I don’t—I wait.
Dying a slow death.
Until our lips touch, and I remember what breathing feels like again—her.