26. Chapter 26
Chapter 26
Dallas
T he question catches me off guard. I wasn't sure where she was headed with this, but it certainly wasn't there. I debate not answering her question, dismissing it, letting it fade into the void. But her words replay in my head. I need honesty. And I want to be honest with her. So I take a steadying breath and say, "The week Cole died."
Abby nods like it confirmed something for her. Her lips press into a firm line. "Who initiated it?"
I furrow my brows as I think back. I was so drunk most of that first week that I'm not sure I remember. "Honestly, I don't know. Alcohol was basically my diet those first two weeks. It just happened. And then it was such a regular thing that neither of us stopped once I got sober."
Abby cocks her head at me but doesn't say anything. There's a disheartened look in her eyes as she looks between mine. It makes my stomach flip.
"What?" I ask.
"I don't like the idea that she took advantage of you while you were going through so much trauma. Especially with you having been drunk."
I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. There aren't even words I want to say, let alone know what to say. The statement hits me like a truck. My stomach goes queasy at the thought. Before Abby was in the hospital, I don't remember the last time I felt myself getting choked up, but a thick knot forms in my throat that makes it hard to swallow. And when I do, a shiver runs through me that makes me physically shudder. Abby grips the sides of my shirt and takes a step closer until we're only an inch apart.
"Look at me." It's a soft demand, but I do as I'm told. "You're still you. It's not your fault. No one blames you for any of it, okay? You're not faulty. You're still the same man I fell for a few months ago. But I want you to realize, you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for."
I take a breath and it's shakier than I expected.
"I've seen the way she looks at me. And I've seen the result of what I'm assuming are your back room conversations with her. She doesn't like me. I get it now. But Dallas, she's playing the victim because you're pulling away."
I stand there stunned for what feels like minutes. My body temperature rises with each passing second. I pull Abby into a hug because I still can't put my thoughts into words. Only a string of curse words seems fitting for such an epiphany. Abby squeezes my torso like she's trying to put me back together and I think it does, even if just a little.
My shaky emotions, I don't even know how to label them right now, are turning into a simmering anger because of Aubrey. I won't put all the blame on her for our past relationship. She and I could have, should have, both ended it a long time ago. It shouldn't have even started. But now, with the way she's been acting, all I can think about is all the times I'd been drunk and followed her back to her place without a second thought, or the times she's pulled me behind the bar to try getting me back after I broke things off, blaming me for not understanding and rejecting her. It's always been my fault.
But it's not my fault.
I've done what I should have done such a long time ago.
And now, I won't be sorry for cutting things off completely.
After last night, being in a bar is the last place I should be, but I only have two days of work left at Landry’s and I’m free. Don’t get me wrong; after working here for three years, I’ll miss this place. It’ll be a bittersweet end. But I’ll be really glad to have a regular weekday schedule at the hospital doing what I want to do instead of what I have to do. The decision between baseball and the hospital was made for me. On one hand, it made it easier, but I still have some pain in my heart from not getting to choose for myself.
But that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is getting through today and tomorrow, and then I’ll be able to start on Monday at the hospital with a clean slate. For a few days at least. Abby’s court date is Thursday of next week, so I’ll only be working for three days before taking the rest of the week off. I’d made sure with my new boss, Sarah, that I could do that. I told her that my only stipulation on starting early. She never even questioned it.
“Can you go grab another jug of ice?” I ask Jordan. Aubrey and I are training him together today to make sure he’s fully ready for when I leave even though I'd rather be anywhere she's not. It's taken everything in me to hold my tongue since getting here.
“Yeah, one or two?”
I check the bin before responding. “Grab two just in case.”
“You got it, boss.” He disappears into the back.
I check the booth in the back where Abby sits. She’d insisted on joining me after our discussion this morning. I’m not sure if it’s a comfort thing for her or if she’s trying to keep an eye on me, make sure I don’t fall down the rabbit hole again. Either way, I’ve always enjoyed having her company while I work, even if we don’t talk the entire time. She’s cleaning her glasses on her shirt, staring at the notebook I got her. She’s filled a few pages already. She still won’t let me see what she writes in there, and I’ve stopped asking. I’m just glad she’s using it.
She made eye contact with Aubrey for a split second at one point today but managed to keep her face somewhat neutral. I don’t think Aubrey caught the look of disgust, but I did. I know those facial expressions all too well, and Abby doesn’t exactly have a great poker face.
Jordan returns with a jug of ice clutched in either hand, so I take one to help him out as he pours his into the ice bin on Aubrey’s side of the bar. She’s been a little quiet the past couple of weeks. It’s been nice but a little unnerving, especially after my realization this morning. It’s not like her. Prior to this morning, I’d wanted to ask if everything was okay, but that goes against everything I’ve been telling myself about what our relationship needs to be. So, I’ve left her to her own devices.
She and Jordan seem to have taken a liking to each other, though. Enough so that she’s been talking to him a lot more than me during work hours. I wish I could warn Jordan not to get too involved. But that would completely dox me and Aubrey.
All of that comes to a screeching halt when she approaches me a few hours into our shift with a sly smile on her face. “Can I talk to you out back?” she asks, nodding her head toward the back door.
My brows furrow as I contemplate my decision. “About what?”
“Please? I just want to talk. Not here. Jordan and Dylan can cover the bar for a bit.”
A bit? I sigh, giving in. It's time to finally terminate things with her. “Fine. Five minutes.”
She smiles, heads into the kitchen, and out the back door. Here we go.
I look over at Abby one more time, see that she’s back to typing away, and follow Aubrey out the back door.
“So, what’s up?” I ask, leaning against the brick.
“I just wanted a chance to talk to you before you left, and I potentially never see you again.”
“I’m sure you’ll see me around.” Even if I don't want to see her. And I certainly won't be coming back here anymore.
“How are you and Abby?”
The question catches me off guard. I don’t bother hiding my confusion and shock. “What? We're fine, why?”
“Well,” she says, taking a step closer, “I wanted to get a gauge on the relationship. See if … I don’t know, you might not be as into her as you let on.”
I raise my brows, my jaw falling open. “Excuse me?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. I’ve not hidden this from you, Dal.”
I swallow the anger already rising in my throat. “Aubrey, I don’t know how to get through to you about this. There is no us, ” I say, frantically pointing in the space between us. "Never will be."
“There used to be. We could go back to that.”
I cannot believe what I’m hearing. I thought she’d figured this out after our last discussion. My pulse speeds up with each passing second as I try to figure out how to process this and finally get the point across.
“I miss what we used to be,” she says, taking another step closer. She’s trying to make her voice sound as sultry as possible but all it’s doing is making my stomach churn.
I take a step away from her, my back almost to the door now. “Aubrey, I don’t know how else to get my point across. You and I are done. Have been done. There’s no going back. And I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to be with you. Nor do I want to be friends anymore. You've crossed a line.”
She cocks her head. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do!” I yell at the same time that my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see a desperate text from Abby that sends my heart into my throat. One word in all caps. HELP.
Aubrey's sticking out her bottom lip like a child who just got candy taken from them when I look up from my phone. I dart back in through the back door, through the kitchen door, and into the main area to see Sam standing at the edge of Abby’s table, arms braced on the edge, leaning over her.
I don’t hesitate for a second before running over and placing myself between the two of them, a fist gripping the front of his shirt. “The fuck are you doing here?” I yell. As much as I want to check to make sure Abby is okay, I need to get him away from her, and fast.
I stalk toward the front door, dragging him with me outside to the pavement of the parking lot with zero care if he’s keeping up with me or not. Somehow, I have enough sense to bring us to the side of the building before I slam his back into the brick and plant a left hook to the side of his head. I don't let him fall. He doesn't make a sound as lifts his head to look at me, blinking away the pain.
By the collar of his shirt, I raise him high enough that he’s struggling for purchase on his toes. “I said what the fuck are you doing here?” My voice is a hiss as I repeat the words, but he doesn’t seem to care.
He regains his feet beneath him and smirks. “What? I can’t visit a friend at work? It was just coincidence that Abby’s here, too.” I open my mouth to yell at him again, but he continues. “I know, I know, I should leave. But I just wanted to say hi.”
I cannot believe my ears. It’s just one thing after another lately. I have so many cuss words running on a constant loop in my head, but I push past them to find one of the questions I need to know. One I’m worried I know the answer to. “What friend?” I enunciate both words.
Sam hums as if this is amusing to him. “Aubrey. She didn’t tell you?”
I could kill her. “Tell me what?” I spit.
“That night at the new bar that we fought? Aubrey and I got to talking. She’s really helpful, you know? Told me all sorts of information without prompting. So, we stayed in contact. She said she wanted you back. I told her I wanted Abby back. It wasn’t difficult to work things out.”
It’s an effort to let him talk and not smash his head into the brick behind him. But if he’s going to spill his guts like this, I’ll let him continue. The only rational thought in my head is that hopefully, I can provide some of this information to my mom for court. So, I let him run his mouth even though my fist shoved against his chest begs for something more physical.
“She invited me in today. Said Abby would be here and that it would be good timing to get you alone, too. I just wanted to talk to her. But your dumbass can’t stay in one place long enough to get a simple conversation in.”
I tighten my grip on his shirt even more, lifting higher, my fist pressing against his neck. “And you're dumbass doesn't know how to stay away. You know the rules. You shouldn’t even still be here.”
He has the audacity to grin again. “So, why am I? I’ll leave if you let go of my shirt.”
I shake my head. “Not this time. This was planned. Not a fucking coincidence. The cops can deal with you.”
I pull my phone out to dial 911, something I should have done sooner, but as I’m about to hit the call button, two squad cars pull into the parking lot, their lights reflecting off every surface. Thank God someone else called them.
I drag him over to the cops, pushing him toward the two that hop out with just enough force that he stumbles to the ground. It's a pleasant sight to see them flip him to his stomach and cuff him. They sit me down on the sidewalk out front. One officer heads inside while the other stays outside with me after putting Sam in the back of his car. Another squad car pulls up and the two cops we met the day Abby went to the hospital step out.
It’s a bit of a relief to see some familiar faces in all this. The cop that went inside comes back out with Abby, who’s sobbing uncontrollably. I get up, engulfing her body with mine and she clings to me like a lifeline, her whole body shaking. "Did he touch you?" I ask into her hair as calmly as I can.
She answers with a shake of her head. Thank God.
“Abby?” the familiar female officer says, approaching us. “Hey, it’s me, Olivia. I’m glad you texted me. They were going to send someone else, but I told them I would take the call instead.”
Abby called them? Willingly? To say I’m surprised is an understatement. I hadn’t expected the call to come from her. The thought almost makes me smile even amid this chaos.
Abby pulls away from me, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Hi,” she says in a shaky voice.
“Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?" Abby shakes her head the same she did with my question. "Okay. Can you tell me what happened?”
Please. I’d like to know what happened while I was so stupidly distracted by Aubrey. God. She and I are through, on every level. No way is she getting any semblance of my friendship ever again.
Abby swallows. “He just showed up. I’m not sure how he knew I was here. But he came right over to my table like he knew exactly where I was. He just kept asking if we could talk and saying he wanted to apologize and that he wanted me back.” She sucks in a sharp breath. “I never said a word. I couldn’t. Nothing would come out. I was too scared of saying the wrong thing and then things going wrong like they have so many times before.”
“You did good. You did the right thing,” Olivia says with immeasurable reassurance in her voice.
Abby takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Abby nods as she tucks herself into my side, the tears from her cheek soaking into my shirt.
“I’m going to get everyone's statements separately in a moment, but he’ll get booked tonight, okay? You won’t have to deal with him for a while. I’m not sure for how long, but at least for tonight.”
Abby nods again as Olivia pulls out her notepad. They separate us even though stepping away from her feels like splitting my heart in two. Abby goes with Olivia, and I go with Dan, the other officer from the hospital. I tell him everything from my perspective and everything Sam told me up until they got here. Abby and Olivia are still talking when he and I finish up. They’ve made themselves comfortable on one of the benches outside the bar.
It’s nice to know Abby’s able to connect with at least one officer, that she isn’t afraid of reaching out to her.
After what feels like a million questions, the police finish up, reassuring us that he’ll be booked for the night before they leave. The bar service basically stopped the entire time they were here. I could see everyone, both customers and employees gathered at the window to watch, fully forgetting they had food and drinks to tend to.
When we make our way back inside, Bill approaches me first. “You can head home if you want. We’ll be fine for the night. I already called someone else in.”
A relief if I’ve ever heard one. “Thank you so much. I think I’ll take you up on that.”
He smiles before saying, “Everyone back to work,” and disappearing into the back.
“Go grab your stuff. I’ll be right back. I need to deal with something and then we can go.” Abby nods and returns to the booth she was sitting in. Aubrey stands behind the bar, a look of pure shock and maybe a little fear on her face. I point to her. “You. Outside. Now.”
She nods rapidly before leading the way back to where we were talking before.
The back door has barely closed before the words spill from my mouth with so much rage that I force myself to reel it in a little after. “What the actual fuck, Aubrey!”
She takes a step back. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“No idea? I have a hard time believing that.” I force my hands into fists at my sides to keep them steady.
“Honestly. I didn’t.”
“Then tell me exactly how we ended up in this situation. I heard from Sam. I want to hear it from you.”
She closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath before starting. “Okay. Okay. That night we went to the new bar? I didn’t go home right away. I stayed back. Talked to Sam. I knew you two were fighting over Abby. I thought it was just a normal two guys fighting over a girl situation. I didn’t realize it was this bad. Truly.” She pauses though I’m not sure what she’s expecting from me. When I don’t say anything, she continues. “We got to talking, and he told me you stole Abby right out from under him. It pissed me off because I thought we had something going between us. But when Abby came into the picture, you just dropped me like I didn’t matter anymore.”
I hang my head, knowing I was probably a little harsh about it, but it doesn’t matter at this point. She crossed a line. “So how exactly did we end up here, like this?” I ask, splaying my arms wide.
“I texted Sam and let him know you were quitting, and it might be the last chance I have of getting you back. I had to try, Dal.”
“No. You didn’t. Do you have any idea what he’s done to her? Any idea why the fucking cops showed up so quickly?” She shakes her. “She’s fighting him in court on Thursday for domestic violence. He's abusive, Aubrey. He put her in the fucking hospital. She could have died that day. Died. And you just willingly brought him here, for what? A chance to date me? I told you multiple times that I’m happy with Abby and that you and I will never work. That hasn’t changed since the day I broke things off between us. Not that there would have been a chance in the first place, but now you’ve certainly lost it.” I debate on bringing up this mornings conversation with Abby, but it's not worth it. It doesn't matter anymore.
She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off by holding a hand up. “And any sort of friendship between us? Done.”
She shuts her mouth, and I can see her throat bob as her eyes well up in tears. “I’m sorry, Dal. Really.”
“It’s too late. You shouldn’t have stuck your nose in other people's business. I’ll get someone to cover my last shift tomorrow, but this is it. Anything between us ends here.” And with that, I turn to leave. I head back through to find Abby waiting by the door, scrolling through her phone.
Initially, she smiles, but it falls to a frown when she sees the frustration on my face. I can’t even muster up a half-assed smile right now, but I take her hand and try to give it a reassuring squeeze before heading out the door.
It's been five days. Five days since I last drank. Five days since I was fully honest with Abby. Five days since Sam showed up unannounced. Five days since anything has gone wrong.
I’d like to keep it that way. However, with today being the big court date, I’m not sure we will get that option.
They ended up holding Sam until the hearing today since it was so close, and he purposely violated his orders. That meant we had five days of freedom where we didn’t feel like we had to watch our backs every time we left the apartment.
I was more than thrilled to be leaving Landry’s for good now. Training at the hospital is exactly what I expected. Everyone has been very welcoming and the amount of enjoyment I’ve gotten in only three days has already surpassed my entire time at Landry’s.
Today’s enjoyment will be far different. I’d like to have a chance to relax this morning before all hell breaks loose. It’s around eight when her alarm goes off. I’ve been awake for a few hours, not able to sleep with everything about to happen. Abby slinks out of the bedroom, her usual purple blanket draped over her shoulders.
“Get dressed. We’re going for a ride.”
That never takes any convincing. She smiles and turns right back around, disappearing into the bedroom. She’s almost done braiding her hair when she walks out of the bathroom. We slip into our shoes, helmets, and gloves without talking, and when we make our way out to the bikes, they fire up with ease.
“You lead. Go wherever your mind tells you to.” She nods and gets on, taking off and out of the parking lot so quickly I have to race to catch up to her.
She winds through twists and turns, up and down hills. I haven’t seen her ride with so much eagerness before. When she said this was her wind therapy, her happy place, I believed it, but now, I can really see it more than I have before. Through her Cardo, she blasts the music loudly. There’s no room for talking. I’ll let her have this in any way she needs it.
After getting off the highway, she slows as we approach a red light in a nearby town. I flip my visor up as I stop, watching her carefully. When she stops, I see her visibly take a deep breath, her back rising and falling with the movement. She flips her visor up. She smiles over at me so much that I see the smile in her eyes, crinkling at the corners. She puts the bike in neutral after realizing this light will take a while and turns down the music.
“Good?” I ask, putting my bike in neutral as well.
She nods, her helmet bobbing with the movement. “Good.”
“How do you feel?”
“Free,” she says. “I didn’t realize I needed this.”
“I hear you.”
If only I could bring this feeling with us to court.