Chapter 33
Reid bought a tent at the local gear store, and I made him get a decent mattress too. I feel guilty sleeping inside when he has to brave the elements, but it’s October, so the desert sun isn’t quite as brutal. I genuinely don’t think I can handle sleeping next to him right now.
My head is already full of worries—I can’t throw in barely restrained lust on top of them, so in the tent he goes.
He doesn’t seem to mind. Our spot is secluded, overlooking the sandstone peaks. It’s far enough away from the event that I can hear myself think.
We spent the day yesterday setting up camp and getting acclimated to how much water we need to drink out here.
I hope it starts cooling off as we enter fall, even though I’m pretty sure ‘cool’ is a foreign concept in Southern Utah.
Reid takes it upon himself to set up a new faux patio.
This one puts the first to shame, a sweeping canopy with two folding chairs and a plush rug.
We have our own little oasis in the middle of the desert.
After we get settled, Reid asks, “Wanna go for a hike?”
I’m surprised by how quickly I agree. “Yeah. I’d love that.” And I really would. It’ll be nice to enjoy nature without so much danger.
Scratch that. He decides we should take on Angel’s Landing.
It’s the most dangerous hike here, and apparently you need a permit to even hike it. Reid assures me he already has a permit ready to go. I’m skeptical.
Reid maneuvers Willa through the park entrance and sure enough, he has the QR code ready on his phone. The shock is evident on my face. He’s feigning offense. “What? You didn’t trust me?”
I throw my hands up in defense. “To be fair, you’ve never been a planner.”
“People can change.” He smiles at me with a softness I’ve never seen—like he wants to impress me.
The first section of the trail is full of grueling switchbacks—I’m huffing and puffing my way up. To my relief, it hasn’t been scary so far.
That relief doesn’t last long. We reach a fork in the trail, and Reid urges me on. “We’re going to the right.”
Surely he cannot be correct. To the right is a bunch of chains attached to a vertical slab of red rock. “Ummmm, it’s gotta be left.”
He suppresses a laugh. “Nope. To the right. You use the chain to pull yourself up.”
At first, he makes me lead so he can ‘catch’ me if needed. I can’t stop thinking about my ass bouncing in his face though, so I force him to swap with me.
But now his ass is bouncing in my face, and I’m not sure that’s any better. I catch Reid limping a few times. He still hasn’t admitted to me that he’s having issues with his knee again. Hopefully he hasn’t done any permanent damage. I almost say something, but I don’t want to ruin the moment.
As we climb, my fear dissipates. The sandstone lures me into a feigned sense of security, and the weight of the metal chain keeps me tethered in more ways than one. This hike is providing the right amount of fear—keeping me focused on the present without absolutely terrifying me.
We crest over the final ridge, and the entire valley opens up beneath us. This view is beyond worth it, reminding me how small I am, just like I need it to. My performance doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
I made it here. Now I just have to make it home alive and I can call the day a success.
A steady sense of calm washes over me as we sit above the valley. We’re feasting on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and it’s perfect. I’m smiling back at Reid as he scrambles. “Don’t move.”
He snaps a picture, and I don’t even ask to see it. I won’t need anything to remember this moment.
I’m dead tired, and I know there’s no changing it. All week we’ve been perched on a cliffside planning out how to build a trail. Mind you, I’ve never built a trail in my life.
This part of Red Bull isn’t discussed nearly enough, because this shit is hard—really fucking hard. My hands are covered in blisters from gripping a janky shovel harder than I should, as if it’s going to run away from me.
Reid and my other trail guy are doing most of the work, so I don’t have the room to complain. I stand chewing on my bottom lip until it starts to taste like metal while I watch them pound the dirt into submission.
Maybe they chose Utah to host Red Bull because of the red dirt—it hides the blood better. This cliff side is a vindictive bitch, and she’s pissed we’re trying to control her.
Reid is focused on building something that will show off my skill.
He wants to go big, but the other guy on my dig team keeps reminding him we only have five days to build.
Somehow, coming up with names for the features is the hardest part.
I keep looking at them and thinking about how the fuck I’m going to make it down this alive.
How am I supposed to name something that might be my ruin?
I’m a trailblazer in women’s riding, and that’s not a platitude, it’s just true. Women have only been allowed in this competition once before. I’m not only doing this for me. I’m doing it for every little girl out there who has been told she’s ‘just a girl’.
That’s bullshit, and I’m determined to prove it, even if I am fucking terrified.
On our fourth dig day, I hit a wall. This is way harder than those high altitude trail runs Reid was forcing me through. My back is aching in a way it never has before. I’m exhausted. How am I supposed to go straight into riding after this?
That night, Reid knocks on Willa as the sun is setting. He’s holding something behind his back. “I have a surprise for you.”
I peek my head around to see what he’s holding. It looks like it could be a blanket? “Well, what is it?”
“Close your eyes.”
I obey. A soft bundle lands in my arms. I’m trying to guess what it is as he instructs, “Okay. Open em.”
It’s my robe. My fluffy cloud of a robe I was so heartbroken to leave behind.
I’m at a loss for words. He wasn’t gone nearly long enough to make it all the way home to grab this.
That means he’s had it the whole time. I smack him with it.
“Why didn’t you give it to me sooner?” A small tear runs down my cheek, giving away how I really feel about this.
“I dunno.” He shrugs. “It didn’t feel right until now.”
The fabric is buoyant between my fingers. It’s silly how attached I am to this thing.
He pushes me back into Willa as he says, “Okay. Put it on and come meet me on the patio.”
Before I can protest, he’s gone—door slamming shut behind him. I can’t wear this around Reid. Why would he suggest that? I can’t figure out what’s going on, so I decide to layer the robe on top of my current outfit.
It’s slightly too warm for the desert, but it’s oh-so-worth it. This is the little taste of luxury I need to get me through this week. I have to fight to keep my eyes open—it lures me into a state of relaxation I haven’t felt since Christmas.
I’m floating on my sore feet as I make my way towards Reid under the canopy. He ushers me to sit on the floor in front of him. “Here. Sit down.”
He hands me a mug of hot chocolate, and it warms me up instantly. I didn’t picture wanting any warm beverages out here, but it’s shockingly comforting, even if I am getting toasty. I’m so at ease for once that I don’t even question why he wants me sitting between his legs.
I fall into position—the new rug providing a flimsy barrier between me and the ground. His knees bump against my shoulders, and I scramble onto all fours as I make my way to stand. Reid pushes down on my shoulders gently, and the pressure feels so good I have to fight the urge to sigh.
His raspy tone convinces me, so I fall back to the ground as he says, “Just sit down and relax.”
“What are you doing?”
“You look rough, Addie. I’m going to give you a massage.”
Quickly, I turn around and shove the mug back into his hands. “Oh no, that’s okay.” I’m getting up to stand again.
He pushes my shoulders down once more and takes his position behind me. “You genuinely need it, Addie. Just sit down and let me help. I’m on your team for a reason.”
I’m trying to get up, but he won’t let me. “That reason is not to massage me.”
“It can be.” He smirks at me dramatically as he places two firm hands on my chest and pulls me against him. “Addie, just shut up and relax.”
His hips are almost touching me. I can’t think straight.
Before I know it, he’s pulling down the edges of my robe. “Adelaide.” He sounds disappointed.
“What?” I’m squeaky.
“Tsk Tsk. You weren’t supposed to wear clothes. That was the whole point of the robe. So I could touch you better.”
My mouth’s gone dry.
I’m on fire, and it’s not from my sunburn.
He’s not letting up. “You should take your shirt off.” Reid starts untying the fabric belt, and I shove his hands away. This is not at all what I expected from tonight.
Hot chocolate spills out of my mouth and onto the rug in front of me. “I can’t do that!”
“Addie. You can do whatever you want. Come on, you’re so tense.”
The air is stuck in my throat. I open my mouth to protest, but his hands are back to the belt, expertly freeing my double knot from earlier.
He leans down in front of my face as he gets my arms free, and the cool air hits my stomach. “Relax Blondie, I won’t look, I swear.” After a dramatic pause, he whispers in my ear, “Unless you want me to.” His voice is full and raspy.
The side of my neck is covered in goosebumps. This moment is going to haunt me, I already know it. I have to cover my mouth before a moan escapes me when his lips brush against my jaw.
Gently, he plants one slow kiss to the side of my neck.
I’m trembling now—I don’t know what to do.
He replaces his lips with his thumb as he starts massaging a hard knot.
I didn’t even realize I was sore there, but it feels fucking heavenly.
It gets harder and harder to breathe as his hands work the tension out of me.
I pull away every few minutes out of instinct, frightened by the intimacy of this. He keeps whispering in my ear, “Relax, Addie.”
It has the exact opposite effect.
At some point, he pulls out coconut oil and it melts against my hot skin immediately. His hands glide across my shoulders and I moan, I can’t help it.
Embarrassed, I try to get up. He tugs gently on my hair, and his voice is tortuously soft against my ear. “I said relax, Adelaide.”
I don’t typically like being told what to do, but it feels way too good to do anything but listen. My head falls back against his thigh, and I find myself struggling to stay awake.