Chapter 39
REID
My eyes blink open, and a whiff of Addie’s sweet smelling hair—warm vanilla mixed with remnants of orange—drifts across my nose. It’s my favorite smell in the world, and I never imagined actually getting to soak it all in. The reality of last night washes over me.
This feels like a dream, the best dream.
I’ve swam through versions of this in my subconscious thousands of times.
No matter how many adrenaline highs I catch or how many girls I hook up with, it always comes back to Addie.
I smile down at her sleeping form and plant a soft kiss to her golden head of hair.
She’s perfect like this, serene breaths escaping her swollen lips.
My chest heaves for a second at the reminder of why her lips are puffy.
I got to kiss Addie last night. It still doesn’t feel real.
No matter how many times I imagined what kissing her would be like—what she tasted like—no fantasy could have matched reality.
Last night was mind blowing. I’ve had good sex before, but nothing like that.
I can’t wait to do it again, share every piece of myself with her over and over.
It feels wrong to even call what we did sex.
It was so much more—everything and then some.
The sun starts streaming into the tent’s pseudo-window. This thing is a piece of shit. We’re lucky it hasn’t rained. I have very little faith in its ability to keep anything out. The mattress is also incredibly uncomfortable. It creaks underneath me as my elbow digs into the cold hard ground.
I’m trying my best not to wake her as I slide myself out from under her warm body.
My neck cracks. It’s been doing that every morning since I’ve been sleeping on this glorified tarp.
It was well worth it though—who gives a shit if I need a chiropractor after this week.
I would have slept in an actual dumpster for a chance to stay close to my girl.
Well, I guess I don’t know if she is my girl yet. It doesn’t matter though—I’m hers, and I have been for a long time.
She yawns and stretches her arms up over her head like a cat. Leaning down, I touch my lips to hers softly, half expecting her to punch me. For all I know, she woke up regretting all of this. I forget how to breathe until she reminds me as her lips crash to mine.
It’s soft, it’s slow…it’s mesmerizing.
“Go back to sleep, Blondie.”
I let my fingers toy with the ends of her hair. I’m so obsessed with these blonde strands. It’s borderline creepy. I thought maybe the fixation would fade when I got my hands on it once and for all. The opposite is true so far, I want to bury my face in it and never come up for air again.
She flips to her stomach and hugs the pillow exactly the same way she had been hugging me.
It takes everything in me to look away, to pull my eyes from the swell of her perfect ass under the covers and open the tent door.
The sun is coming up slowly over the edge of the desert, covering the sky in a faded golden glow.
My hand rests over my heart as I will it to slow down. I want to take this moment in, just in case this is the last time I’ll get to have it. I hope Addie wants to pursue this. Pursue us.
I don’t want to scare her off, so I try to stay calm, pretending I’m cool and collected. Pretending my literal dream girl isn’t sleeping naked in my tent right now. Pretending I didn’t get to taste her and finally press myself inside her the way I’ve always imagined.
A cold shower is calling my name, so I climb into the back of Willa and stand underneath the steady stream of water. She can sleep until noon if she wants to. Surely she deserves it. I need to think up a way to show how proud of her I am today.
There’s a pair of sweats I left in here the other day, so I tug them on, but I can’t find a shirt, so I start rinsing off Addie’s bike.
Mine is still perfectly clean. I haven’t been riding at all since California.
I’m happy for Addie—more than happy—but it still stings still.
I was supposed to be up on that podium yesterday too.
I’ve been out of it all season, too focused on what was going on in Addie’s head instead of my own.
I didn’t deserve to be up there this year, and I know it.
There were countless riders who performed better than me.
Countless men who deserve Addie more than I do.
That was my issue with Callum, honestly—I felt threatened by his good nature.
The bikes are clean, so I lean them up against the van and get started on breakfast. We don’t have much—I’ve been forcing Addie to eat more than usual so she’d have the strength for Red Bull.
For a second, I think about driving to the store while she sleeps so I can surprise her with boujee avocado toast or something, but I’m too scared to leave her alone, even if this is one of the safer spots we’ve stayed.
I settle for whatever is in the van instead.
Frying her a singular egg—it’s all we have left—I shove a half eaten bag of trail mix into my mouth.
There’s a stray snickers bar around here somewhere.
We try to stay stocked up on the things—they’re cheaper than any protein bar on the market, and tastier too.
I brew her latte just the way she likes it and make sure to clean up after myself.
Addie hates it when I don’t clean out the coffee machine right away.
Carefully, I unzip the tent as I balance her measly breakfast and coffee in one hand. She deserves the world, and all I have to offer is one slightly burnt egg.
She sits up and smiles at me. It almost makes me drop the egg. She’s so beautiful it hurts, like looking directly at the sun. It makes me shrivel up a little.
“Morning, sleeping beauty.”
Addie smiles as she takes the coffee from me. “Thank you. I’m starving.”
My cheeks flush. “Sorry, we are out of everything. Why don’t you get dressed, and we can go get something.”
As I say that, she lets the comforter fall an inch and sucks in her bottom lip. The little vixen knows exactly what she’s doing. I love flirting with her—I love the way she’s finally flirting back even more. “Adelaide, are you flirting with me?”
She smiles and lets the blankets fall away, exposing her perfect breasts. While I’m busy staring at them, she yanks me down towards her, and I crash into the hard ground underneath the tent.
“That’s what you get for ogling!” she yells at me.
I try to pull her down to kiss me, but she’s already tugging on one of my t-shirts. Her ass is jiggling right in front of my face. I get the strongest urge to bite it, but she’s gone, climbing out of the tent.
Her smiling face stares back at me as she zips up the tent behind her. “I’ll be right back.”
Addie points to her teeth, as if I wouldn’t kiss her with a little morning breath. I would kiss Addie Fairfax just about anywhere, in any condition. Her dorky-ass smile right now makes me want to do exactly that. She’s perfect—and maybe, just maybe, she’ll let me try my best to deserve her.
As much as I want to fuck her one more time in this dusty desert camp, I am genuinely starving.
While she gets ready, I tear down the tent and start balling my clothes up and tossing them into my broken duffle bag.
I stumble across a perfect pair of black lace panties.
Those I shove in my pocket. They’re a little too special for my messy bag.
Addie hops in the passenger seat, her hair falling in loose waves around her face-making her look like the angel she is. My thumb grazes the inside of her leg. “Where to, Blondie?”
Addie shrugs playfully. “Wherever the wind takes us.”
The wind takes us to a diner, and we gorge ourselves on pancakes and hash browns. It’s sublime, sitting here across from Addie, our toes brushing against each other under the table as we enjoy each other’s company. The veil between us has dissipated.
I see her clearly for the first time, without any filters of denial. I’ll get lost in her if she lets me—I fucking hope she lets me.
Tentatively, I grab her hand and plant an unsteady kiss to her knuckles. “So what’s the plan, Addie?”
“Do we need one?”
Usually, I’m all for no plans. This time, I’m searching for some assurance we’re on the same page—I’m begging for it.
“Do you want to try this?”
She picks up a piece of my bacon. “What? This?”
I can’t tell if she’s being obtuse on purpose. “No, Addie, us. Do you want to try us?”
Her smile is sweet, her eyes are glistening. It looks like she’s holding something back, and I hate it. My pretty girl distracts herself with her blueberry pancakes. It gives me time to hunt for courage.
Addie whispers, “I thought we did try it last night.”
“I mean really try. Like, do you want to date? Because I really fucking want to date you, Blondie.” I try to pull out a smirk, but it quivers a little.
A smile—full and unrestrained—spreads across her face, and I immediately mirror it. “Yes, Reid. I’ve wanted to date you for as long as I can remember.”
We stay there playing footsie under the table like two idiots until the waitress comes over for a third time, not-so-gently urging us to get out of the booth.
When we finally get back to Willa, Addie kicks her feet up on the dash, her hair brushing against my exposed bicep as she throws her head back.
I’ve never been happier to be driving someone around.
The wind takes us next to a luxury Airbnb on the outskirts of Moab. I booked it while Addie was getting ready on the off chance she actually wanted to try this with me. We take our time enjoying each other as we meander through the quiet expanse of Utah.
For the next month, we ‘listen to the wind,’ or whatever that means. We chase down trails and hikes all across the western US. But mostly, we tangle ourselves together as we soak in sunrise after sunrise.
A little part of me worries that when we finally do go home, it’ll turn out this was all too good to be true. I know one thing for certain though—I’m going to do absolutely everything in my power not to fuck this up.
Sure, I may not have gotten a medal this year, but I got the girl.
That’s all I’ve ever cared about, if I’m honest. Addie doesn’t have half a clue how incredible she is.
Everyone gravitates towards her, and she doesn’t even notice.
She’s stuck up in that pretty head of hers, wondering if she’s said something wrong or is standing weird—always so worried all the time.
My singular goal in life is to get her to believe how amazing she is.
That being said, I do like making her blush. She’s so cute when she’s a little nervous.
I love everything about her, from the way she sticks her tongue out when she’s journaling to the way she’s always scolding me for something. I love how happy she gets when her coffee is just the right color and how her hair gets blonder every summer.
I’m still having a hard time believing she’s been pining after me for this long. If I had known, things would have been much different.
There’s a lot of girls I would’ve never given the time of day, a lot of risks I wouldn’t have taken. I think this path was meant for us, though.
Her honey blonde locks are glistening in the setting sun as they spill over the center console.
I want to pull over and watch her finally rest her busy mind, but that would be creepy, so I keep driving and settle for rubbing her hair between my fingers.
For years, I’ve wanted to reach out and feel how silky it is.
She’s finally wearing it down more, and it damn near brings me to my knees every time.
It’s hard to believe she thought her crush was unrequited for this long. I’ve been lost on her for most of my life.
We’ve made it our mission to soak up the outdoors before it starts to get cold—just the two of us—driving all around the western states without any direction.
Now, I get to live every day with her by my side, and I’m not going to take any second of it for granted.