Chapter Thirteen
Unease flickered across her face and Heath already knew what her answer would be. His heart sank.
Rachel straightened. “I don’t have time for such things.”
Heath gave her a measured look. “For me or the circuit preacher?”
“Circuit preachers…mostly.” She pushed back her hair impatiently.
“Because you still think God has forsaken you?” he pressed gently.
“I have plenty of evidence.”
“What about his promise never to leave or forsake us?” He hoped to give her something to ponder. He wouldn’t try to force his beliefs onto her. She had to make up her own mind.
“I only have to look at the graves under the cottonwood tree to get my answer.” She increased the length of her stride, wanting to put some distance between them he guessed.
But she couldn’t match his long gait and he quickly caught up. “Despite that you now have Eden?”
“Maybe someday I’ll feel differently.” She kept walking.
Heath put a hand on her arm. “I’m sorry you still hurt.” He’d thought having Eden to care for would ease her heartbreak. She’d certainly seemed better of late. “I like spending time with you, Rachel, and I think you find it enjoyable too. If you won’t go to the service, then think about saddling up the horses and going for a ride with me. We could go over to that Quaker community.”
“Estacado?” Her eyes lit up and she chewed her bottom lip. “I can’t leave Eden.”
He could see excitement building. “Sally would be overjoyed to keep her for a few hours.”
“Don’t forget about Uncle Zeb. If I leave him, who knows what I’ll come back to.”
The strangers on horseback she’d seen with Zeb crossed Heath’s mind. She was right to be worried. If he could only make her see the danger she was in without pricking her pride.
“True.” He glanced at the shoreline of the lake and saw Zeb Thacker digging. What for he didn’t know. “Let Sally come here to keep Eden. You better believe she’ll keep an eye on your uncle.”
A smile broke through and lit up her face. “You’re a very persistent man.”
“Then you’ll go?”
“All right. Yes, I’ll go.”
“How about tomorrow?”
“You don’t drag your feet much do you?”
“Nope.” His hand dropped from her arm, and he reached for the pitchfork just inside the barn door. Happiness made his heart act funny that she’d agreed to spend the day in his company.
“Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are, Rachel?”
A flush colored her cheeks. “I look a fright.”
He loved the way she instantly patted her silky blonde hair, trying to put it back in place. And those striking green eyes. Now that color had returned to her face, she was downright beautiful.
“I don’t see a fright.” His voice softened. “You’re the prettiest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”
“There’s no else around except Tillie,” she pointed out.
Her friend didn’t interest him. On the other hand, Rachel’s rosy lips and pink cheeks made him think of kissing. Shoot, everything about her made him want to be near her, touching her, kissing her, talking to her. He took a deep breath to calm the havoc inside and put himself out of temptation’s reach before he did something stupid.
“Thank you, Heath.” Rachel seemed flustered as well. She didn’t appear to know what to do with her arms, first letting them hang at her side then crossing them at her waist. “Well, I suppose I’d best get inside and tend to Eden.”
He stared after her, thanking God for bringing such a wonderful woman into his life.
Rachel woke up earlythe next morning, her thoughts on Heath. She was eagerly looking forward to their ride which surprised her a little.
What should she wear? Her best dress wasn’t very pretty but it was a nice shade of gingerbread, and her orange and golden shawl would lighten it. She’d match the fall leaves. She quickly slipped into the dress then turned to her hair. No braid today. She brushed the light blonde strands to a sheen then twisted the mass, pinning it on top her head. Nice. She liked it.
As Rachel finished getting ready, Eden made adorable little baby sounds and waved her arms. She was such a pleasant baby. Unless wet or hungry she never cried. She reminded Rachel of sweet little Alice. Even as Alice lay in the grips of the fever she’d not often cried out.
Maybe she’d pick some wild sunflowers down by the lake and put them on her grave. With fall arriving within days, there wasn’t a big variety other than sunflowers. But those were pretty.
A dark cloud settled over Rachel’s heart. Heath thought her an angel but if he knew the ruined woman she was, he’d run. She snorted. He could never know the truth. Her worst fear was disappointing someone she loved.
If she hurried, she could pick the sunflowers before he arrived. She took Eden in her arms and kissed her sweet cheeks. “Good morning, sweetheart. I’d better get your bottle ready before you take a notion to let me hear about it.”
Moments later, she moved to the kitchen and lit the lamps, then the stove. Uncle Zeb knew how to time it and came in looking for some hot brew.
“Good morning, Uncle. I’ll have some coffee made in just a minute. Eden can’t wait for a bottle. She’s such a sweet baby but she wants to eat when she gets a hankering for it and not a minute later.”
“Just do what you gotta do. I’ll stoke us up a fire.” But he stood watching her in no hurry to move.
Rachel fed the hungry baby then put Eden on her shoulder and patted her back. “Heath will be here in a little bit. We’re going riding. Do you want to come with us?”
A strange light came in Uncle Zeb’s eyes, piquing Rachel’s curiosity. “No, you two go ahead,” he said. “I’ll be fine here by myself.”
“Sally is going to keep Eden for me.” She had lots to do before then and it didn’t appear she’d get help feeding the animals or gathering eggs. “I’d appreciate if you could help with chores,” she prodded.
“Oh sure. I’ll get to that. Don’t you worry.” He shuffled on to the fireplace.
Whether he meant now or later she had no idea. She thought their talk had worked.
A loud burp filled the small kitchen. Satisfied that all was well, she carried the sleeping princess to her cradle and started cooking. She and Zeb had breakfast and she’d just finished the dishes when Heath and Sally arrived way ahead of schedule. “Would either of you like a cup of coffee?”
The corners of Heath’s smoke-colored eyes crinkled when he smiled. She loved the way his hair curled around his collar. “No thanks. I’m all coffee-ed out. Must’ve drunk a whole pot this morning.”
Sally declined also and peeked at little Eden who was fast asleep. “I hope you don’t mind that I came here. I got to thinking it’d be best instead of dragging all her things to my house.”
“I don’t mind a bit. In fact, I agree it’s easier this way.” Rachel patted her hair and reached for a hat, an old one of Tillie’s to replace hers that burned in the fire. “I just have to see to a few things outside with Heath. Sally, are you positive you don’t mind keeping her?”
“Mind?” Sally grinned widely. “This is better than Christmas.” She picked up paper and pencil and started writing.
Uncle Zeb with his feet propped on a stool, hands on his belly, spoke up, “Now you know Miss Sally wants to keep the baby. Don’t be a worrywart, Rachel. It’ll be fine and I’ve already fed the animals and gathered the eggs.”
Heath sent Rachel a surprised look and shrugged.
Rachel gave her uncle a small even smile. “Thank you for that but I still need to see that everything is good and proper before I take off.”
She didn’t miss the quick hand over Heath’s mouth to hide a grin as the old man frowned and stared at the floor.
Heath held the door for her and they made quick work of checking on the animals.
“Well, I’ll be. He really did feed them,” Heath said.
“Surprises me too. Well then, seems we’re ready to leave.” Back inside, Rachel turned to Sally. “Eden likes to have her back rubbed when she’s falling asleep. And I give her a bottle every three hours. And she hates a wet diaper. The minute it gets wet she wants it off. And—”
Sally’s raised eyebrows stopped Rachel cold. “You think I’ve never seen a young’un before? Granted, it might’ve been a while, but I do know how to care for one.”
“I’m sorry. I apologize. Of course, you know how to tend to her. I was just trying to help.” Rachel had no idea why she was being so overprotective. This wasn’t like her. If she had any qualms, she wouldn’t leave Eden. Not even on a bet. This baby meant more to her than anyone knew. If something happened to her…
Sally’s face and her eyes softened. “It’s okay to love a child more than life itself. I’ll take good care of the little darling while you have a bit of fun. I packed you a picnic lunch.”
“Thank you so much.” Rachel hugged the woman and gave sleeping Eden a kiss.
Sally strode to Zeb and thrust a piece of paper at him. “I made a list of chores for you to do, starting with chopping more firewood.”
Zeb came off his chair. “Who made you boss?”
“Me. Now get to moving.” Sally stood with her hands on her hips and Rachel had to hide a chortle of laughter. “I’ll have a nice lunch made for you if you make it halfway through by noon. I’ll have no shirking your duty on my watch.”
“Zeb, looks like you have your work cut out for you,” Heath said winking, a wide smile spreading. “Sally’s a tough woman and it pays to stay on her good side.”
“That’s right.” Sally patted Heath’s arm as he went out. “I trained my brother and I know I can whip you into shape.”
Zeb groaned and crossed his arms over his ample belly.
Rachel patted his shoulder. “It’ll be nice having all the chores done for once.”
Uncle Zeb pushed her toward the door. “Get along with you. Lassiter’s waitin’.”
A surprise greeted her when she stepped out into the bright sunlight. Neither horse even faintly resembled Blackie. One was the horse named Hondo that Heath always rode and the other a handsome appaloosa.
“Oh, Heath, he’s beautiful.”
Heath grinned. “I thought you’d see in him the things I do. Bought him from Skeet Slaughter. This horse and I are still in the get-acquainted stage, so you’ll ride Hondo until I know his disposition.”
“I’ll be proud to ride whichever you want. Both are fine horses.” She gave Jax a pat on the head along with stern orders. “You stay here and help Sally guard the place.”
The dog gave a pitiful whine and sat on his haunches.
Heath helped Rachel mount and she didn’t miss how his hands lingered on her waist. She loved his touch and started to tell him, but he stepped back and went to his mount. How easily he stepped into the stirrup and threw his leg over the saddle of the paint. Strong. Capable.
Just then, Zeb emerged from the little house, cussing and raising cane with Sally right behind swatting the air with the broom.
Rachel giggled as she turned her horse toward the lake.
“Where are you going?” Heath asked.
“I hope you don’t mind a quick stop to pick some sunflowers for Alice’s grave before we go.”
With a nod, he headed that way and helped her pick them. Then they went to the family plot beneath the cottonwood. Rachel dismounted and laid the flowers on Alice’s resting place.
Unbidden tears ran down her face and she whispered, “I hope you can forgive me one day, sweet girl. Just remember, it wasn’t my decision. I still love you so much.”
She rose and got back on Hondo. Once they rode out and Rachel left her sadness behind, the conversation turned to Sally and her uncle. “I think Sally will straighten Zeb out.”
“His expression was priceless,” Heath agreed. “Wonder if this won’t make him pick up and move on.”
“It might.” Rachel let her horse pick the way up the path to the rim. The day was perfect. They rode in silence a ways then she asked, “Why are you so different when it comes to Eden? Most men want nothing to do with a child or their care.”
Heath was silent a long moment before speaking. “Looking into the face of a little babe is a lot like I would imagine looking into the face of baby Jesus. There’s such an innocence and purity that steals my heart. Eden is just starting out with her whole life ahead of her.” His reverent voice held softness. “Just think you get to teach her about things, help her grow into a woman. I would think it to be the most rewarding experience any person may ever have.”
“I never thought of it that way, but you’re right. It’s a lot more than keeping one fed and happy. Raising a child is a huge undertaking.” She twisted in the saddle. “But what if I mess up?”
As she had in the past. Painful shards pierced her.
His eyes found hers. “You won’t. You’re already an excellent mother.”
She held the reins loosely and glanced down the path to the house below. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
They passed through a grove of cottonwoods, their leaves starting to turn a golden yellow. A slight breeze set them dancing on their branches as a sudden shower of gold fell around Rachel. She was so entranced she almost missed Heath’s question.
“What are you going to let Eden call you? Will you be a mother? Or a sister?”
A cold chill passed over her. Shaken, Rachel stared. Had he guessed? But he wasn’t even looking at her and wore an innocent expression. She relaxed. “I’ve never thought about it. What do you suggest?”
“This has to be your decision. Listen to your heart. I think you’ll know when the time comes. One thing about it, you don’t have to decide today.”
Finally relaxing, Rachel glanced up at the bluest sky she’d ever seen and breathed deep. “I just love fall. Life is slowing and people aren’t in as much hurry.”
“I agree but my favorite season is spring when the earth is renewing.”
“Spoken like a true rancher.”
They rode for a bit in companionable silence, broken only by the sound of the hooves striking the earth and the horses’ snorts.
“How far is Estacado?” Rachel asked.
“Two hours thereabouts. Thought you might like to see what they have over there. And I want to see if those three strangers at your place might be there.”
“I’ll be anxious to see myself. I think I can recognize one or two.”
“I want to know what they’re up to.”
Silence spun between them like a silvery web.
Excitement slowly spread through her, and it didn’t have much to do with the destination. The fact she was going with Heath set a low hum under her skin.
She cast him a sideways glance. He sat tall in the saddle and rode with extreme ease, at one with the appaloosa. The worn Stetson pulled down low on his forehead shaded his eyes. And his broad shoulders seemed capable of carrying the world.
Or at least capable of comforting a woman who’d lost everyone she held dear.
She wondered what it would be like to marry such a man, bear his children and share his trials.
Maybe…
He turned and his gaze caressed her face. Unspoken promises filled the depths of his honest gray eyes.
She warmed under his stare and every sane thought left her head.