Chapter Sixteen
“Was she your sister? Or was she more?” Heath asked again, patting Eden’s back when she let out a little cry.
“I…I don’t know what you mean,” Rachel stuttered. She was unprepared for this and thought she’d covered her secret well. When had she let it slip? “I loved her very much and buried her next to Jane.”
“I don’t want to upset you, but don’t you think it’s time to get this into the open?” His gentle brush of her cheek brought tears. “You’re carrying a heavy weight. Let’s talk about this. I think you’ll feel better with the load lifted.”
She stifled a sob and was barely aware when he moved her to a chair in front of the fireplace. The clock on the mantel ticked the minutes away. He moved the rocker close and sat.
Finally, she took a handkerchief Heath handed her and dried her tears. “You’re right. I’ve carried this secret for five years.” Her voice cracked but she went on. She had to get this out once and for all. “You see, Alice was my child, my baby.”
“Let me guess whose idea it was to deny her—your father’s.”
Tears ran down her cheeks and her voice shook. “He said I didn’t have any choice and that…that he was saving my reputation.” She glared at the door angrily as the conversation thrust her back in time after working so hard to put the horrible incident behind her. “If I refused, he told me I would have to leave.” Her gaze was one of confusion and hurt. “He knew I didn’t have any place to go. He blamed me for this. Said it was all my fault.”
“It’s not. Don’t think that.” Heath squeezed her hand. “Who is the father?”
“That’s the thing.” She chewed her lip. “I don’t know. When I was fifteen, I was abducted by some of my father’s former gang who wanted to use me as leverage against him. Back then I hadn’t a clue but now, I’m pretty sure he was holding all the money from their jobs. One man kept saying that they wanted their share and I was going to help them get it. Please don’t make me tell the rest,” she begged whimpering, holding a hand to her mouth. “I can’t.”
“No. That’s enough to get the picture.” The angry lines of Heath’s face had deepened around his mouth and eyes. “How did you get away?”
“They held me for two weeks before I realized my father wasn’t coming. When my abductors got drunk one night and passed out, I slipped my hands from the ropes and freed myself. I had lost weight from not eating so it was easy. I snuck from the hideout and walked home, hiding at the tiniest noise.”
Heath leaned to touch her shoulder. “And when you got back?”
“My father called me a whore and only when Jane threatened to slice his throat did he let me stay. But then…” Her voice cracked again with the horrible memories.
“Your body began to reveal what had happened,” Heath added.
“Yes. And I…” She swallowed a sob. “I made a pact with the devil and promised I would never tell Alice. I denied my own child.” Rachel rose and stalked to the door, her arms folded across her chest. Embarrassment and shame flooded over her that Heath now knew all the sordid details. “I denied her,” she repeated helplessly.
Heath followed, standing beside her with the baby. “This wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause any of it. If your father was alive, I’d horsewhip him within an inch of his life.”
“It’s over now.” She turned and met his sorrowful gaze, taking Eden from him. “Now you know why I can’t marry you. I’m ruined.” She set her trembling lips in a firm line not sure she could get out what she must. “It’s best if you stop coming around.”
Several heartbeats passed in silence.
“Best for who?” He ran a hand through his hair. His voice took on a strange hoarseness. “You hold my heart, Rachel. I will marry you any time, any place you say. That hasn’t changed.”
“You’re a stubborn man, Heath Lassiter.”
A smile teased the corner of his mouth. “I just know what I want.”
“Men expect—”
“What exactly do men expect?”
“They want a pure bride.”
“Let me answer this way.” Before she could stop him, he slanted a kiss across her lips and for a long moment, the ugly past melted away. She clung to his vest for all she was worth.
Rachel gave Eden abottle then laid the darling in her cradle. She and Heath sat discussing Zeb and the girl Becca. “What will I do if Becca is Eden’s mother?”
“Let’s see how this plays out before we start worrying.” Heath drew little circles on the back of her hand. “It could be nothing more than Eden reminding the girl of someone. You said she seemed a little slow.”
“You’re right.” She let out a long breath.
“I have to head for home, but I’ll tie Jax first. If Zeb shows up drunk, send him packing.”
“Don’t worry. I will.”
They went outside. The dog’s pitiful whine and pleading eyes tore at Rachel’s heart.
Heath spoke softly. “Sorry to have to do this, boy, but it’s for your own good. You keep chasing off after who knows what and you’ll end up buzzard bait.” He ruffled the dog’s ears. “Besides, you need to keep watch over your mistress. Can’t have anything happening to her, now, can we?”
Rachel’s chest swelled as she watched Heath. Clearly, he loved her dog. It was also plain that it pained him to have to tie up an animal that had always roamed free.
The task accomplished, Heath put his arm around Rachel and drew her against his chest. “When things settle down, I’m taking you back to Estacado for more shopping.”
She tilted her face for his kiss, very grateful he didn’t hold the past against her.
“That’s a date.” Rachel petted her faithful dog. “Thank you for understanding.”
“Of course. I’m glad you trusted me.”
“I’ve missed Sally. Is she still upset over the way I acted the day we got back from Estacado? I really didn’t mean to treat her like she couldn’t watch Eden.”
“No, she seems fine enough to me.”
“Bring her with you next time you come.”
“Will do.” He put a foot in the stirrup and settled in the saddle, pulling his Winchester from the scabbard and handing it down to her. “Keep this handy and I’ll bring more ammunition next time.”
Taking the weapon, she carefully kept it pointed at the ground. “Thanks. I hope I don’t need it.”
Shading her eyes against the afternoon sun, she watched until he was out of sight. The wind had switched to the north and whipped her skirts about her ankles. The chill in the air promised that fall was getting serious.
She turned to go back inside when she spotted Tillie riding up the trail. Her friend hadn’t been around much since her uncle had come and she’d missed her.
“Hi, Rachel. Expecting trouble?” Tillie pointed to the rifle. “And why is Jax tied up?”
“Come on in out of the wind and I’ll tell you about it. But first let me untie Jax. I just don’t have the heart to leave him out in this windstorm. He keeps running off chasing something.”
Tillie dismounted and waited for Rachel to untie Jax then they all went into the house.
“Care for a cup of hot tea?” Rachel asked, watching Jax settle on his rug.
“That sounds wonderful.”
Rachel put the teakettle on and they sat down at the table. Over the course of the next hour Rachel told her about the strange happenings with Jax. “Heath thinks Uncle Zeb might be responsible.”
Tillie took a sip of her tea. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know.” Rachel gave a big sigh. “I confess that none of this went on until Uncle Zeb came.” She told about Sally taking a broom to him and they both laughed. “Although he and Jax don’t cotton to each other, I honestly can’t see him harming my dog.”
“My advice is to trust Jax’s instincts. An animal senses things that humans miss because our hearts get in the way. I’m glad Heath left his rifle here. Don’t be afraid to use it.”
“Something else happened that I’m puzzling over.”
Tillie laughed. “I’ve been away longer than I thought.”
Rachel told her friend about young Becca and how the girl acted toward the baby. “She looked like she was going to cry. It broke my heart.”
“You’re thinking she may be Eden’s mother?”
“I hate to say it, but yes, that’s what I fear.” Rachel’s voice lowered to an agonized whisper. “I can’t lose that baby.”
“Tell me again what she looked like.”
After obliging, she asked, “Do you know anyone who fits Becca’s description?”
Tillie squeezed Rachel’s hand. “Afraid not. If I find out, I’ll let you know.”
“I’d appreciate that. Want some more tea?”
“I’ve had enough, thank you.” Tillie took her cup to the dishpan. “You want to hear my news now?”
“Oh, you poor dear. Here you’ve been busting to tell me something and I’ve spent the entire time prattling about my problems. Yes, please tell me your news.”
Tillie grinned. “I have a job.”
“That’s wonderful.” Rachel rushed to hug her friend. “What kind? Where?”
“Teaching school on Thorn Hill Ranch. At the trading post one day I heard that several of the big ranches in the area had built their own schools and were hiring teachers for their ranch children.”
“This is great.”
“Now I’ll be able to keep my head above water. Hopefully, anyway. The extra money will sure help relieve some of my parents’ stress and let them focus on getting Mama well.”
“How is your mother doing?”
Tillie’s face fell. “The doctors are not very optimistic I’m afraid.”
“Oh, Tillie, I’m so sorry.” She knew how it was to wait and hope and worry when loved ones were sick. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Just continue to be my friend. It’s nice to have someone to confide in. Yancy is all I’ve got and sadly the deaf man wears me out trying to talk to him.”
Sally and her loud bellows popped into Rachel’s mind. Yancy and Sally would surely make an exhausting pair. “I’ll always be your friend and you can talk to me anytime you want.”
Even in such a diminished capacity, it made Rachel feel good to be needed. Most of the time she felt like a burden to everyone around her.
“Papa is talking about bringing my mother home. If that Arizona air isn’t making her better, she might as well be back at home in her own bed.”
“I know how much you’d love to have her with you.”
Outside the howling wind beat against the house. The door gave way and slammed back against the wall, scaring Jax. He jumped to his feet, barking at the ghostly intruder. It took both Tillie and her to get the door closed and fastened. Of course, the noise woke up Eden who burst into squalls. Tillie reached to pick her up, cuddling the sweet baby.
“I declare, this is awful.” Rachel picked up a small branch that had blown inside. “I want you to stay here until this dies down a bit.”
“I hate to be a bother.”
“Don’t even think that, not after what you’ve done to help me. I never could’ve gotten all that zucchini bread, goat cheese, and butter made.”
“Speaking of that, we might as well make some more while we’re waiting.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“I picked the last of the zucchini this morning.”
Eden had quietened so Tillie put her back in the basket. Over the next three hours the girls chopped zucchini, mixed the ingredients, and baked the succulent bread. They ended up with six loaves. A very good use of their time. Rachel didn’t know how she’d make it through the winter. She had nothing else to sell except a few eggs, cheese, and butter. Thanks to Heath she wouldn’t have to worry about feeding her papa’s bull for a while.
And there was still money he was paying for renting out the huge animal. Yet somehow it seemed she was making money off something that wasn’t hers—a beast she didn’t even want. But he insisted on paying so she’d shut up and accept. It was a gift from heaven he would say.
Dusk had turned the sky vibrant shades of purple and gold by the time the wind finally died down. Tillie mounted her horse and headed for home.
Rachel went inside and lit the lamps. The house was quiet. Eden had awakened so she changed and fed her then sat in the rocker. Wide-eyed, the infant cooed, watching Rachel.
“Hey, little one, I hope you’re happy here. I’m so glad you came but I wish you could talk and tell me about your mother.” Eden yawned then opened her mouth like she was going to speak. “Oh, do you have something to say? Well, let’s hear it.”
The baby smiled, only Jane would have said that it was not a smile but gas.
Jane would’ve loved Eden. Rachel looked around the small parlor remembering the way things used to be. If she closed her eyes, she could probably hear the voices of her family.
It occurred to her that a house was more than paint and walls. It carried a history of all the loved ones it had sheltered, their hopes and dreams, laughter and many sorrows.
It didn’t matter that the original house had burned. It was the land that tied the old and the new together. The souls of her people were buried on Malloy land. That history belonged to her now and the house was continuing to shelter her and now Eden. Maybe one day it would shelter Eden’s husband and children.
She fixed a quick meal of eggs and thick slices of sourdough bread with fresh butter and wild blackberry preserves.
Uncle Zeb still hadn’t returned unless he’d hidden in the barn which was likely if he wanted to hide his condition. Tomorrow would be soon enough to deal with him.
Finally, she readied for bed and lowered the lamps. But thoughts of Becca kept sleep at bay. Her heart ached for that distraught girl, and she couldn’t help but think of her own desperate plight years ago.
It had felt good to trust Heath and confess her secret. He was right. She was lighter without the wall between them.
His gentle understanding just proved how much her father wronged her with his horrible lies. He’d truly tried to destroy her at every turn. Not only her but Alice too.
Rachel rose and rested her palm lightly on her precious Eden, gratitude filling her.