Chapter Twenty
Sunday morning, Heath put on the white shirt that he’d always saved for the Sabbath and saddled his new appaloosa. Anticipation built inside. He’d hated having to go so long between sermons.
If only Rachel was going with him the beautiful sunshine would be perfect.
Heath knew he had some things to talk over with the Man upstairs. One thing he sorely wanted help with was Rachel. It burdened his heart to see her continuing to be so conflicted and not know how to fix it.
Or even if it was his job to do so. He hadn’t seen the white dove in quite a while, and he wondered what that meant. Had he mistaken the message? Maybe it hadn’t been a sign of anything.
With his horse saddled, he hitched up the wagon for Sally. Wearing her best bonnet, Sally came from the soddy humming a tune and stepping smartly. His sister was in a good mood.
By the time they arrived at Singer’s, about a dozen folks had already gathered.
“Reverend, we sure appreciate you coming. It’s been a while since we’ve had an opportunity to worship.” Heath shook Ledbetter’s hand, happy to see he was younger than the previous one with a thatch of dark hair. Women would find him handsome and they’d be sure to notice the absence of a ring.
“The good Lord willing, it won’t be long before I return,” Ledbetter said, smoothing down his hair and beard. “There are sure a passel of lost souls on the Texas frontier. Working in the vineyard of the Lord keeps me busy from dawn to dusk.”
Heath nodded and helped another man carry a bench and some barrels from the trading post for seating. Thankfully, women with large broods were spreading quilts on the ground.
He glanced around, hoping Rachel had changed her mind. Not seeing her greatly disappointed him.
The small congregation had just stood for a hymn when he felt the swish of skirts against his leg and someone jostled his elbow.
Surprise and joy spread to see Rachel, the babe, and Tillie Gregory sliding into place beside him.
His heart awash in happiness, he took Eden from Rachel’s arms.
The words to Amazing Grace had never been sung with more fervor than the way he was singing them. His hand stole to Rachel’s and lightly squeezed.
Preacher Ledbetter opened his Bible and a hush fell over the crowd. “Folks, it is happy I am to be here on this beautiful Lord’s Day. Life is hard here on the prairie and we’re forced to deal with many things. Death sometimes steals our loved ones and leaves our hearts grieving, our spirits raw.”
Heath cast a sideways glance at Rachel. Tears swam in her pale green eyes. He mouthed a silent prayer that this preacher would say the words she needed to hear.
“ ‘To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven,’ ” Ledbetter read from the Bible then went on. “We’re not promised tomorrow. We’re only promised God’s grace to see us through. And folks, if you think you’re the only one having trials and tribulations, you’re sadly mistaken. Every person on this earth suffers tragedy at one time or another and sometimes it comes in twos and threes. We could learn from Job.
“In the deepest darkest night you’re not alone,” Ledbetter continued. “God hears your cries even when you think He’s not listening. The Almighty God has a plan for each of us.”
Heath sent Rachel a glance and found her biting her lip to stop its trembling.
“If we keep our faith and trust in the Lord Almighty, we can find a better day. Some folks have asked me what faith is.” Ledbetter leaned forward. “I tell them this. Faith is the little bird that sings when the dawn is still dark. The bird can’t see in the blackness, but it sings anyway, trusting that it’ll get lighter soon.”
Sally shouted, “Amen! Give us some fire and brimstone, Preacher. I want some good old fire and brimstone.”
Heath hung his head and Ledbetter appeared taken aback.
Finally, the preacher found his voice. “Not today, sister. I always believed in laying a foundation before I start telling folks they’re going to hell less’n they mend their ways.”
“I see.” Disgruntled, Sally adjusted her hat that had slipped.
The reverend delivered more words of encouragement then concluded with a prayer.
As soon as the service ended Heath turned to Rachel. “Thank you for changing your mind.”
“It’s all Tillie’s doing.”
His gaze followed Tillie as she went to talk to the reverend. The young lady must be a miracle worker. “I’m glad. What did you think of Reverend Ledbetter?”
“Let’s say he’s given me plenty to think about.”
The remains of tears sparkled in her beautiful green eyes. Heath didn’t think he’d ever seen a prettier angel. Sometimes in the dead of night he remembered her laughter and the sound of her voice and he knew he’d not be complete until she became his wife.
And if that day never came? He’d have to find contentment being in her life however she let him he supposed. But he knew in his heart that God would hear his prayers and grant him his fervent wish. He just had to be patient.
“Rachel, how would you and Tillie like to come eat with Sally and me? Not sure what we’re having but I know Sally will whip up a dandy meal. She loves having someone to fuss over besides me.” He lowered his mouth to her ear and spoke low. “And, I’ve caught the yearning in her eyes to get her hands on the little princess here.”
“I’ll have to ask Tillie. If she has no objection, then we’ll do it.”
It turned out that they did indeed accept Sally and Heath’s hospitality along with the preacher. Rachel looked around the table that day at the soddy and it hit her that they’d formed their own family of sorts. Formed by love and the desperate need to matter to someone.
She glanced at Heath and her heart swelled. He was a handsome man with his strong square jaw and broad shoulders. She’d always thought his eyes reminded her of smoke but lately several things made her decide they were more the color of gunmetal gray.
Heath Lassiter was a gentle soul who could still put the fear of God in a man in no uncertain terms. Something said he’d risk his life to protect her and Eden. Deep convictions drew her respect.
Though they’d not spoken of marriage of late she knew he’d not forgotten. She prayed that when she was ready, he’d still want her.
Heath had taken the preacher aside for a private word upon their arrival. Rachel gave it no thought since men liked to talk when they got a chance and had gone on inside with Tillie to help prepare the meal.
She sat across the table from the preacher and found him quite knowledgeable about farming.
“I once had a farm but fell on hard times and had to sell it,” Ledbetter said. “But I love living off the land and growing things.”
Rachel passed him the fresh bread. “Do you ever think you’ll go back to it?” Rachel asked.
“I hope to one day.”
Sally had done an excellent job putting together the meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, turnips and greens. There was even a delicious blackberry cobbler for dessert.
Ledbetter wore a wide smile. “Miss Sally, you sure set a fine table laden with wonderful food. I haven’t had a better meal.”
Sally beamed. “Thank you, reverend.”
He leaned forward. “Can you call me Anson?”
“I suppose I can if you’d like.”
“I do.”
Rachel noticed the long glances Sally gave their traveling guest and wondered if she’d taken a liking to Anson Ledbetter. They seemed about the same age and Sally wasn’t past the need for love. No woman was.
When the last bite was taken and the dishes cleared, Heath cleared his throat and asked Rachel if she cared to take a walk with him.
Her heart sped up. “I’d love to if Sally and Tillie won’t mind watching Eden.”
Heath’s grin widened. “Surely you jest. They’ve been itching for the chance.”
“You go on,” Sally blustered, waving her arm. “Me and Tillie would like to listen to Anson’s experiences on the trail.”
“In that case, I will.” Rachel threw her shawl over her shoulders. She loved the warmth of Heath’s hand at her waist and the sound of her skirts swishing gently against his leg.
Alone at last, she asked, “Did you see how Sally seemed quite taken with the reverend?”
“I did and I’m happy for her. Like me, she needs someone.” His arm slipped around her, drawing her closer. “I also spoke to him about delivering a note to the stage line office in Clarendon and he agreed. I already wrote it and gave it to him so that’s settled.”
“How soon until he reaches there?”
“A couple of weeks he thinks.”
“I’m so relieved.” A companionable moment of silence passed between them. “Where are we going?”
“Does it matter?” he mumbled against her ear, his warm breath stirring a tendril of hair.
“I reckon not.”
“Thought we’d stroll down to the corral. I’ve named my new appaloosa Buttermilk.”
His sudden grin caught her breath. “That’s a good name.”
When they reached the corral, she leaned against a post and watched the frisky horses. They made a good pair—Hondo with his black shiny coat and Buttermilk’s all over gray with white spots on his hindquarters. She didn’t think she’d seen happier, more contented animals. Beyond the corral was a pasture with probably two or three hundred grazing cows. The modest stone barn completed the picture. Nothing was in disrepair or in need of work.
“You have a beautiful ranch, Heath. It’s really peaceful here, so neat and orderly. And you can go out of your house and not be afraid.”
“This could be yours, you know.” He lifted a tendril of her hair and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger. “All you have to do is say the word.”
She breathed deeply of the air and tried to calm her racing pulse. “If you keep asking, someday I might surprise you and say yes.”
“I do hope so. Am I wearing you down any?” He seemed to study her. “We haven’t spoken of love, but I’ve wanted to. My love for you goes beyond this world. What I feel is much deeper and it’s an eternal, forever kind of love. Let me protect you and help raise Eden.”
Rachel chewed on her bottom lip. If only she knew that she loved him and that she’d make him a good wife. She knew nothing about those things and had nothing to guide her. “Please don’t ruin the day by pressuring me. I’m trying my best.”
“I don’t mean to press you. Forget what I said.” He turned to walk away.
“Please wait.” She reached for his arm. “I care deeply for you, Heath. More than I’ve ever felt for anyone. But love? I just know that if you were gone, I couldn’t keep breathing. You give me strength and hope. You’re a part of me that I need in order to rise each morning.”
“I’m glad to know that I’m not just a casual friend.”
“You’re important to me in a way no one else is or ever was.”
His gaze settled on her mouth and the day grew increasingly warm. Before she knew it, Heath leaned closer and kissed her.
“My darling Rachel, you certainly are something,” he breathed into her hair.
“I could say the same about you, Mr. Lassiter.”
“Now, stop with this mister business,” he growled.
“All right, Heath. Just seeing if you were paying attention.”
“I always am when I’m with you.” He reached for her hand and lazily caressed her palm with his thumb.
She tried to contain the tingles but didn’t succeed. When she spoke, the words came out breathless. “As bad as I hate to head home, I have animals to tend before dark.”
He tucked an arm around her waist. “I’ll be happy to go help.”
“Stop.” She laid a hand on his arm. “You have just as much to do here. I’ll be fine.”
“Check the house before you let Tillie leave.”
Rachel balanced on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I will and I’ll take the rifle when I go out.”
“Good girl.” He pulled her to his side and went back to the soddy.
Sunlight glistened on the pastureland with grazing cattle. It was beautiful. There was peace here and people who cared about her. Maybe she should consider coming to stay a few days. Only who would take care of things at home?
Tillie stood. “I have to be going, Rachel. Do you want to ride with me?”
“Yes, give me just a minute to gather Eden.”
By the time Rachel got home the sun had begun its descent. She lit the lamps and fed Eden before she went out to tend to the animals.
She had the uneasy feeling of eyes watching her as she strolled out to gather the goats.
“It’s simply your imagination,” she scolded herself. “Get hold of yourself, you ninny.”
Then Rachel heard a noise. For a moment she thought one of the goats had made the sound. But when it came again, she noticed it originated from some brush. Unbidden pictures of the chewing tobacco man at the trading post sprang into her head.
Glancing around for the rifle, she remembered she’d left it inside. Her heart sank as her mind raced.
Her gaze swept to the house. Eden was asleep in there. So innocent. The babe didn’t know danger was on their doorstep. And Jax was nowhere to be seen. She’d failed to tie him.
Again. When would she learn?
She forced herself to walk casually toward the house as if she had no reason to be in a hurry. She didn’t want to give whoever it was a reason to know that she’d heard him and come after her.
The house seemed a hundred miles away. Could she reach it in time?
Mindful of the approachingdarkness, Rachel’s legs trembled as she collected her rifle and returned to find the source of the noise. If someone was hiding, she had to get them out and off her land.
Jax bounded from the brush, his ears alert.
“Good boy. Stay with me.” Hopefully, he’d obey.
Thoughts of her abductors and the recent run-in with the trio at the trading post brought fear so thick she could taste it. She swallowed hard. If only she’d taken Heath up on his offer.
When they reached the goat pen, it was only a few more steps to the brush.
She put some steel in her spine to keep the rifle steady. “Come out with your hands up.”
The green tangle of vines, thistle, and leaves parted. A pair of glittering dark eyes peered at them.
“Come out!” she yelled again.
One of her goats emerged, chewing on some grass. Rachel lowered the rifle, laughing. “I could’ve shot you.”
Jax got behind the animal and nudged it toward the pen, crisis averted. Slowly Rachel relaxed from the scare. But a sense of pride wound through her. She’d handled it on her own and had a new confidence that she could take care of whatever came.
Early the next morningRachel awoke to the trill of a bird outside her window. The amazing thing was that it was still dark. The words of Preacher Ledbetter jumped into her head.
Faith is the little bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.
Though she continued to walk in grief for her family and the child she’d had to deny, hope began to blossom inside her for the first time that she would see a better day.
Maybe she was wrong in thinking God had forgotten her. Maybe He still loved her. And maybe things would get better just as Heath and the preacher had vowed.
“We’re not promised tomorrow. We’re only promised God’s grace to see us through whatever comes,” the preacher had said.
She glanced over at Eden sleeping soundly and quickly dressed. Rachel wanted to see the sunrise, really see it in all its splendor.
And she wanted to glimpse the little bird that had sung so sweetly.
Not wanting to go far, she sat down on the stoop and for a good half hour watched the sky, marveling as it changed from black to pink and yellow. She listened to the sounds of an awakening world. The gentle coos of the mourning doves gave her such peace. The lake was serene with the lap of the water against the shore adding its own music. Just then, a gentle breeze feathered across her face.
A little sparrow flew down within a foot of her and chirped up a storm.
It all seemed a beautiful gift.
Before long, Eden’s cries drifted from the house. Rachel got to her feet and went to take care of the sweet baby God had placed in her arms.
An hour later, Rachel found herself humming an old hymn as she went to milk the goats and feed the chickens.
She didn’t even realize she was humming until Heath entered the milking shed wearing a big smile.
“This must truly be a first, Rachel.”
“What?”
“You’re humming and I sense a lightness in your spirit. It must be a very good day.”
“For the first time in a long time I have happiness bubbling up in my heart.”
“Did something happen?”
She told him about the little bird singing outside her window. “The bird had faith that the sun would rise. Heath, I’ve been thinking a lot about faith.”
“Hallelujah!” He lifted her up and swung her around. “You don’t know how much I’ve prayed for this.”
“Put me down and let’s go into the house. I have a hankering for breakfast. I suddenly have an appetite.”
He picked up the bucket of milk and they strolled into the house arm in arm.
When they went through the door, Rachel abruptly stopped and turned in a circle. Something was very wrong. The hair on her neck rose.
“What’s wrong?” Heath asked.
Rachel pointed at the bedroom. “The door is closed. I always leave it open because I want to be able to hear Eden.”
She was barely aware that Heath set down the milk. With him beside her, she opened the door and gasped.
Eden was gone!