20. Chapter 20 #2
The voice booms across the table, shocking us all into silence. It’s my father, on his feet now, his face red with anger. I’ve never seen him like this; not once in my thirty years have I heard him raise his voice to anyone, especially not my mother.
“I’ve had enough,” he says, glaring at her. “I’m ashamed of you, Paula. Ashamed that you would speak this way about anyone, let alone the woman your son loves. And you,” he turns to Rhonda, Millie, and Hailey, “should be ashamed of yourselves too.”
The silence that follows is deafening. My mother stares at my father as if she’s never seen him before. Rhonda’s mouth hangs open in shock. Millie and Hailey look at each other, then down at their plates.
Into this silence, I stand. “I have something to say.” Everyone’s eyes turn to me.
“At some point, my life went badly off course, and it’s very clear why.
I know where happiness lies for me, and where it doesn’t.
” I say, looking pointedly at Millie. She meets my gaze for a moment before letting hers flick away.
“I failed Caitlin, badly,” I continue. “I failed to protect her, and I failed to prioritize her. But I love her. I will always love her.” Taking a deep breath, I plunge ahead.
“I’ve ended the lease on my apartment, and come the New Year, I’m moving to Oregon where I’m going to spend the rest of my life earning back her trust and her love. ”
“You can’t be serious,” my mother gasps. “Adam, think about what you’re saying. What about Kelley Property Management? Your responsibilities here?”
“I sold the company,” I say simply.
“You what?” My father’s voice is barely a whisper. Even he looks shocked by this.
“To who?” my mother demands, falling back into her seat, her face draining of color.
I glance at Lauren, who nods slightly. “To me,” she says, her voice calm and clear. “Adam sold it to me because it should have been mine all along.”
My father’s expression shifts from shock to something like shame. “Lauren, I—”
“Save it, Dad,” she says, not unkindly. “We can talk about it later. But right now, I need to say something else.” She takes a deep breath.
“I’m disappointed in myself for letting Caitlin be treated the way she was.
For not speaking up. She didn’t deserve any of it.
And I need some space from all of you to think about what kind of person I want to be.
” She stands, Jake rising with her. “I suggest you all do the same. Merry Christmas to you all.”
And with that, they turn and leave together, the front door closing behind them with a quiet finality.
“Gerald,” my mother says, her voice sharp with panic, “do something!”
My father looks at her, his face gray, his expression weary. “What would you have me do, Paula? Lauren is right. Adam is right. We’ve been wrong about a lot of things.”
My mother turns to me, desperate now. “Adam, please. Think about what you’re doing. Think about Millie, about how much she cares for you—”
“I don’t care about Millie.”
Millie makes a small, wounded sound. “Adam, please—”
“No,” I cut in, “you all need to hear this, really hear it. I don’t want to date you, Millie.
I never had any romantic feelings for you.
” I turn to my mother now, looking her straight in the eyes.
“You pressured me into it in high school, and I let you, but I knew I had to leave when you started pushing for an engagement after we graduated. That’s why I went out of state for college. That’s why I stayed away.”
“Adam,” Millie whispers, tears streaming down her face.
I turn back to her, softening my voice. “I’m sorry for everything you’ve had to endure, Millie, truly. But I never loved you the way you wanted me to. I only ever loved you like a little sister, and now I can’t even do that.”
Facing my mother again, I tell her, “You need to let go of this strange obsession you have about the two of us. It’s never happening.”
I reach into my pocket and pull out my grandmother’s ring, the one Caitlin left behind, the one I’ve been carrying with me as a reminder of what I lost. I place it on the table next to my plate, just like Caitlin did on the night I told her about the cruise.
“The next time I put a ring on Caitlin’s finger,” I say, “it will be one I picked specially for her. You can keep your precious heirloom.”
I turn to leave. My mother rises, reaching for me. “Adam, wait—”
My father catches her arm. “Let him go, Paula.” There’s a finality in his voice I’ve never heard before.
“I understand, son,” he says to me. “And I’m sorry. For everything.”
I nod, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. As I walk to the door, I hear them behind me, their voices rising in argument.
“This is your fault,” my mother hisses. “If you had just—”
“My fault?” My father fires back. “The only thing that’s my fault is that I didn’t put my foot down with you sooner! You’ve been pushing those two together since they were children, and you never once—”
I close the door on their voices, stepping out into the frigid December air. For the first time in months, maybe years, I feel like I can breathe. Like the weight that’s been pressing on my chest has finally lifted.
Now I can start fighting for the only future I’ve ever truly wanted.